Finding Me
by EternalSorrowOfAngels
Summary: Sarah or Angel, Shepard or Vakarian, human or turian... 20 years after the end of the Reaper war C-Sec's newest recruit is struggling to figure out who she is in a galaxy that thinks her a genetic impossibility. First few chapters were rewritten not long after initial publishing. Currently in Part 2 of 3.
1. Part 1 - Chapter One - First Impressions

**AN: Okay, this is the final version of this story. No more rewrites. Sorry that it took so long to get up, fixing it has been tricky, but thank you for your patience!**

**Thanks to everyone who has already favourited, followed and reviewed! You guys rock!**

**Special thanks to my beta Spyke1985 for keeping me in line! She rocks the most! :D**

**Okay, hope you enjoy! :D**

* * *

**Part One - Of Delphiniums (Blue) and Geraniums (Red)**

* * *

**Chapter One - First Impressions**

**Citadel Docks - Civilian Transport Sector**

**2206 - 19 Years After the End of the Reaper War**

Sarah 'Angel' Shepard-Vakarian was awoken very suddenly and very rudely.

This did not bode well for whoever had woken her.

By the time she had woken enough to have her wits about her, Sarah found herself pinning an asari stewardess to the wall of the shuttle, her pistol to her head.

She sighed a little at the inconvenience. It wasn't the best start to her new, _normal_ life.

Her sleepy state was quickly dispersed as she noticed the faint blue glow over her skin. However, it flickered and died as soon as she realized its existence.

_Figures,_ she thought to herself as she turned her attention to the terrified woman in front of her.

"Sorry." She told the asari, although she didn't look it, as she checked that her visor was still in place, cleverly hiding her ice-blue eyes so that no one would notice the fact that, while she looked mostly human, Sarah's eyes were very much turian in nature.

"I just... We have arrived at the Citadel and you didn't wake to disembark." She explained, still terrified. Sarah nodded as she tucked her pistol back into her jeans, under her leather jacket that hid the odd curve of her waist.

"Right. Thanks." Sarah replied coolly as she picked up her bags, clenching her jaw as a headache started to form. She moved to leave the shuttle when the asari called after her again.

"You dropped th-" She cut off when she realized what she had in her hands and Sarah grabbed the empty med-tube from her.

"Thanks." She said and the asari looked a little more afraid. Sarah didn't have the patience to deal with her or the inclination to care. So what if some random asari thought she was a junkie? It wasn't her fault that her metabolism processed normal drug doses too quickly. And if anyone thought she was getting on a crowded transport without sedatives... well, they would be in for a nasty shock.

She moved into the first restroom she could find, dumping the empty tube of krogan sedatives in the nearest bin as she went. She checked the time on her omni-tool and swore under her breath. If she was late for her first day of work, her aunt would... Well, she'd probably understand, but Sarah wasn't one for screwing up. Not anymore. She quickly checked herself in a mirror, making sure her blonde hair was still in it's plait, the deep blue streak from root to tip the only indicator that she belonged to the Vakarian clan. It was her compromise. She wasn't dumb enough to wear her facial markings, even on the Citadel. She had learned that lesson the hard way.

After that she checked her clothes to make sure they didn't look as if she had been sleeping in them. Of course, they did, because she had been, but she decided that she simply didn't care. All that was left was her face, her make-up had been mostly wiped off during her journey from Illium and the faint outline of her markings, that had been left by years of staining her skin with blue paint, was partially visible. As were the dark circles under her eyes.

She couldn't remember the last time she had slept properly, without the aid of sedatives. Three years? That seemed right to her as she carefully covered her skin to make her look like any healthy eighteen year old human girl. She, of course, was none of those things. Well, except for eighteen. She was two months from nineteen, but her eyes looked older. They'd looked older for a while now... About three years.

She frowned slightly as her mind kept on returning to that place. She knew it would happen, but it was testing her patience as she applied lip gloss to cover up the slight purple tinge of her lips. A side effect of her body producing both red and blue blood cells. It just couldn't decide if it was human or turian. But, then again, neither could she.

She zipped up her bag and prepared to leave the bathroom, but her hand hovered over the painkillers that were packed in next to her clothes. But she knew that she couldn't risk taking them so soon after taking the sedative, so she left them in her bag, ignoring her pounding headache and tired muscles, as she left the bathroom and headed towards C-Sec headquarters.

She stopped about halfway there to buy a cup of coffee, as she knew that she was going to struggle to stay awake throughout the day without it. She finished the cup just as she approached the front desk at C-Sec. It was being manned by a human male, around her age, with dark hair and stormy gray eyes. She frowned a little at her observation. She had never really noticed someone's eye color before... She shook herself mentally as she approached and took a deep breath.

* * *

Being put on the front desk at C-Sec meant one of two things; you're incompetent or you're a troublemaker. Philip wasn't quite sure which had earned _him_ this position, but he suspected that it had been a combination of the two. Tiala would insist that his problem would be solved if he actually put some effort into his work, but he couldn't be bothered. So, instead of actually manning the desk, he was caught up in his new omni-tool game.

"Umm... hello?" Came a voice from the other side of the desk. It sounded like a woman, but he couldn't tell what species without paying closer attention, or actually looking at her. Which would involve taking his eyes off of the screen of his omni-tool.

"Just a minute..." He managed, but the momentary distraction had cost him dearly and he frantically moved his fingers across the interface to try to make up for it, but he was failing. "No, no no... Dammit! Power attack! Power attack!" He shouted at the game as the Game Over screen popped up. He banged his fist on the desk and sighed with frustration. "Dammit..." He muttered before turning his attention to the woman in front of him.

"Yeah, yeah, what do you want?" He asked tersely as he turned to face her, his irritation instantly draining away as he took in the figure in front of him. This woman in front of him was very, definitely human. All curves but with a slender waist and pronounced collar-bone, and she dressed like she knew it; in perfectly fitted dark jeans, a low-cut white vest and a gray leather jacket. She was tall, even if she wasn't wearing heeled boots, and she stood with her hands clasped behind her back. Her blonde hair was pulled away from her face in a plait, a blue streak running from root to tip, all except for a fringe that fell across her forehead and down to the one thing that suggested that she wasn't a civilian; a visor that ran across the width of her face, partially obscuring her brilliant blue eyes, but still leaving them visible enough for him to see that they were watching him carefully. Although he couldn't see any emotion in them (unless tired was an emotion), or anywhere on her small, slightly pointed features.

Her eyebrows moved a millimeter further up her face, but her expression didn't otherwise change.

"My name's Sarah and I'm here to see Executor Vakarian. She's expecting me." She replied, her voice neutral and lacking inflections. He had always thought himself good at reading people, but he was getting nothing but a hint of tired from her.

"Just Sarah? No last name?" He asked, and her gaze seemed to harden a little.

"No." She said simply and he didn't question it. She was making no attempt to be friendly, as if she didn't care how he perceived her.

"If you need something, you're asking the wrong person." An asari said as she approached. She was grinning at Philip, who pulled a face in return. Sarah regarded the asari carefully, noting her pale blue skin and the white pattern across her cheeks that she thought resembled freckles. "Can I help?" She asked, and Sarah noticed the human scowling at her, but the asari simply rolled her eyes in response. Sarah decided that she liked the asari, but it didn't change her outward demeanor.

"Yes. My name is Sarah and I'm here to see Executor Vakarian." She said, as she stood straight and clasped her hands behind her back. She may not be the warmest person in the galaxy, but she got the job done and she was determined to have that be her first impression. They could question her personality all they liked, just as long as they didn't question her ability or commitment. The asari in front of her nodded.

"The Executor told me you would be coming. She said to tell you that she is sorry, but she's too busy to greet you this morning, so I've been put in charge of showing you around and introducing you to your partner, Officer Tallin. My name is Tiala, by the way." She said and Sarah nodded. That was when Philip re-entered the conversation.

"Wait, she's been paired with Guy Smiley?" He asked and Tiala nodded. Sarah frowned a little at that as her visor pulled up the relevant cultural information about the nickname, showing her pictures of a strange puppet. She wondered how many social cues she would miss as a product of growing up on the Normandy. Not that she cared, outside of scientific curiosity. "Good luck with that." He said and she raised her eyebrow in question as Tiala rolled her eyes.

"He's not that bad. _You_ just annoy him." Tiala replied, but the man turned to Sarah.

"You know how all turians have a stick up their butt? Well, good ole Tiberius has two." He explained and Sarah didn't bother to react to the slight, even with her sub-harmonics. She figured that she would have to be careful if her partner was turian. The last thing she needed was someone identifying her...

The man behind the desk continued on, obviously not realizing that he had insulted the new girl.

"He's so serious all of the time and I have never seen him smile. Not once." He explained and Tiala rolled her eyes at him, shaking her head a little.

"You're just jealous because he gets to patrol out of uniform while you're stuck behind a desk." She countered and he scowled before looking confused and a little upset.

"Wait, does that mean the rookie is on patrol? On her first day?! That's bullshit!" He exclaimed, but Tiala just shrugged.

"She must have tested well. Alright, Sarah, let's go. I think we'll head to the lockers first." She said, indicating to Sarah's bags at her feet. Sarah couldn't help but look tired as she nodded.

"My transport just arrived. I didn't have time to dump my stuff." She explained as she moved to follow the asari.

"No problem, you can dump it in your locker before you go on patrol. I assume you know what you're doing?" She asked and Sarah nodded. "Good. I can't imagine Smiles would have much patience with a noob who can't handle a gun. Although I guess if that were the case, you wouldn't be paired with him. Executor Vakarian must think highly of you to have you out on your first day." Sarah nodded again, deciding not to explain herself.

Simply avoiding lying would be the preferable course to keeping track of several different stories. To her credit, the asari didn't ask and Sarah found herself liking her more with each passing moment. They quickly reached the lockers.

"Well, this is your locker. It unlocks with your ID." Tiala said and Sarah nodded as she opened it and placed her bags inside. "Ah, Tiberius, we were just coming to find you. This is your new partner; Sarah." Tiala said and Sarah turned to face her new partner.

She was faced with a dark-plated turian, a little older than her, with red colony marks and piercing green eyes. _What is with me and eyes this morning?_ She wondered, shaking herself a little as he regarded her carefully. She immediately stood straight in response, her hands moving to her hips in a defiant stance. Daring him to find fault. After a few moments, he nodded and she let herself smile a little. Tiala stood with a raised eyebrow, the very turian display lost on the asari.

"Okay, maybe you two will get on fine..." She muttered, before turning to Sarah. "Well, Tiberius can take it from here. I'll see you later." She said before moving away, leaving Sarah alone with Tiberius.

"The Executor told me you were coming. You have field experience?" He asked and she nodded.

"That's right." She said, not bothering to elaborate and his features remained still and unreadable, annoying her to no end.

"The Executor told me the details were classified. I'm not sure how an eighteen year old human girl can have a classified background, but I know when not to ask. Although that doesn't mean I trust you." He said and she gave him a look of understanding. She still had to prove herself to him and she was determined to do so.

"Good. I don't trust you either." She told him, her daring gaze had shifted during their conversation, so that she now gave off an air of simply not caring. She was waiting for him to try and find fault with her, remaining a little on the defensive, but for the most part, she didn't seem to care what he thought of her. His sub-harmonics took on a questioning tone and she realized that she had been vocalizing her attitude with more than just her body language. "Vocal implants." She explained and he nodded. She figured that they had become common enough over the past twenty years for him to not question it too much.

"Okay then, Sarah. I guess we'd better get moving." He said and she moved to follow him, ignoring the strange chill she felt when he said her name. "You're not going to call me Guy Smiley are you?" He asked, sounding a little resigned, and she smiled a little in response. She was glad that everyone seemed friendly, simply because it made her life easier. She could count her friends on one hand and to say that she wasn't used to prolonged social interaction with strangers would be an understatement. But that had never bothered her before and still didn't. At least, she figured, Tiberius seemed to have a similar attitude to her own and she respected that.

"No. I have no problem with you and I may not be... Friendly, but I am never mean." She told him and he nodded. "So, I think I'll call you Red." She told him and he sighed.

"Not just 'Tiberius'?" He asked and she shook her head.

"Where's the fun in that?" She asked, a little amusement in her sub-harmonics, allowing herself to smile a little more as her headache began to lift a little.

"Okay then, I'm calling you Blue." He said and she froze for a moment, before remembering the streak in her hair. Her mind once again wandered to the painkillers in her bag, knowing that it would lift the fog from her mind.

_No_, she didn't need them.

"I like that. Okay then, Red. Where to?" She asked and he folded his arms in thought.

"Well, you need a weapon so, to the armory, I guess." He said, but she shook her head, reaching behind her to pull out her pistol. His sub-harmonics took a slight tone that told her that he was impressed by the extensive modifications and she shrugged as she replaced it. "Okay then, we're patrolling the lower wards today without our uniforms. You okay with that?" He asked, indicating to her outfit and she nodded before regarding his. He was in armor, but instead of the standard C-Sec blue it was a faded orange and black design. She figured that if they were in the lower wards, they must be trying to pass for mercs and deemed his outfit appropriate, even if it did make him look a little like a tiger. _Not that that's necessarily a bad thing_, she thought to herself.

"Trust me, I'll be fine." She said, as she walked past him. "Come on then, Red.

"Right behind you, Blue."

* * *

Sarah walked through the lower wards, observing her environment. She had never really spent much time on the Citadel before. It's not as if her parents could ever dock the ship there without attracting unwanted attention. The last time they had been there was for the ten year anniversary of the end of the war when they had made a brief appearance. Sarah had been nine at the time and still hadn't looked normal enough, one way or the other, to be out in public. That hadn't come until puberty, but she was as thankful as possible for the chance it gave her. The chance to know what a normal life could be like. Or as normal as you could expect from a human/turian hybrid who grew up on the Normandy...

She breathed a sigh of relief as the ward wasn't particularly crowded. She avoided the larger groups but for the most part she was fine. Until she noticed that people were watching them and she felt a chill down her spine, working to suppress the panic that was slowly building. She was doing everything right, blending with the shadows to go unnoticed. She had never seen the need for the technique that her mother had tried to teach her when she was younger but she had learned her lesson... She turned to her new partner and quickly identified the problem.

"For fuck's sake Red, stop walking like a cop." She said as she reached the end of her patience and he frowned at her, causing her to roll her eyes. "Your stance screams 'the fuzz' and people are staring." She told him, allowing irritation to fill her sub-harmonics as she battled the overwhelming feeling of being suffocated that she was experiencing as eyes followed them down the street. He nodded before loosening up and slouching a little. It wasn't great but the stares lessened as they turned a corner and Sarah's lungs remembered how to take in oxygen once more.

After that she watched her partner as much as her environment. They kept a companionable silence for which Sarah was glad. She had no need for prolonged social interaction and hated wasting words on inane chatter. She hadn't been keen on the idea of being paired up with someone, but she figured Red wasn't too bad. Just as long as he could shoot and didn't get in her way...

The noise of the ward increased and Sarah began to feel a little claustrophobic, so she keyed up some music on her omni-tool, hoping to calm herself a little.

"_Destroy everything you touch today,_

_Destroy me this way,_

_Anything that may desert you, _

_So it cannot hurt you, _

_You only have to look behind you, _

_At who's undermined you, _

_Destroy everything you touch today, _

_Destroy me this way, _

_Everything you touch you don't feel, _

_Do not know what you steal, _

_Shakes your hand, _

_Takes your gun, _

_Walks you out of the sun._"

"Are you listening to music?" The music cut-out as her visor registered Red's voice and she shrugged.

"Yeah. So?" She asked, her tone neutral. He couldn't tell if she was expecting him to reprimand her or if she simply didn't care if he did. Regardless, he simply kept walking.

"Just don't let it distract you." He told her and she nodded before they fell back into silence. They continued on like that all morning and Sarah wondered what exactly they were looking for. Was he simply evaluating her, or were they looking for something specific? She frowned a little as her eyes drifted across two blood pack mercs and she made a note of it. After that, she began to see patterns in movements, easily identifying the mercenaries in the crowds as she tried to figure out where the focal point of activity was. It didn't take her too long.

"The docks." She said and Tiberius frowned at her. "The mercs? That's where they're centralized. I assume that's what you're watching for?" She said and he narrowed his eyes a little but otherwise kept his expression unreadable. It was driving her up the wall.

"Yeah. Been tracking down some intel for a while. I had hoped to figure out who might have it. Good job, Blue." She ignored the praise, her expression remaining neutral as did his.

"What now?" She asked.

"Recon work." He said and she her stomach grumbled, alerting her to the fact that the sedatives had completely left her system.

"Can it wait until after lunch?" She asked and he nodded as they headed out of the lower ward, the crawling feeling in Sarah's skin settling down the further from the crowds they ventured.

* * *

The place he took her to was a standard fast food joint and she felt his eyes on her as she asked for the largest portion of junk food available. She simply shrugged and offered no explanation. Her sub-harmonics dared him to say something but he didn't. Most people were off-put by her defensive attitude, or they tried to challenge her, but Tiberius just took it in stride, for which she was glad.

"Sarah! Tiberius! Over here!" Tiala shouted from where she was sitting with the man from earlier and Sarah rolled her eyes and sighed. She heard Tiberius groan next to her and noticed him glaring at the human male, but he went to sit next to them, causing Sarah to groan as well. She wanted to limit her interaction with others as much as she could.

"Hey guys." Tiala said as they sat down and they both simply nodded in response, causing the asari to shake her head and smile. "Wow, you two are just two peas in the loner pod, aren't you?" She joked and Tiberius smiled a little but Sarah just shrugged as she began to eat.

"Hey, Sarah. I'm Philip, and I just realized that we weren't properly introduced before." The human male said as smoothly as he could, causing Sarah to smile a little. She had to admit that this guy was pretty funny. He was a total ass, even she could see that much, but in a funny way. "So, how have you and Guy Smiley here been getting on?" He asked her and she frowned a little before raising an eyebrow.

"Well, _Red_ and I have been getting on just fine." She said curtly, emphasizing her new nickname for him.

"Red, huh?" Philip asked Tiberius and he shrugged.

"Well, it turns out Blue here is good with nicknames." He joked and Philip raised an eyebrow at him before turning to Tiala.

"Did you hear that, Tia? Tiberius is trying to be funny!" He said and the asari rolled her eyes at him before turning to the other two.

"Excuse the idiot." She joked and Philip narrowed his eyes at her.

"I'm not that bad." He said and she gave him a disbelieving look before turning back to Tiberius and Sarah.

"We only have an hour for lunch and he wasted the first thirty minutes buying _comic books_." She sighed before turning back to Philip. "Honestly, I don't know why you don't just get them on your omni-tool..." She muttered to him and he rolled his eyes at her.

"The colours aren't right on the screen. Physical copies are the only way to go." He said as he pulled a comic from his bag, a picture of three very familiar figures across the front.

"I can't believe you read that shit. You do know it's all just made up, right?" Tiala said and he shrugged as Sarah tried to keep her expression nonchalant and neutral, despite clenching her jaw.

"Well, technically it is based on things that the crew of the Normandy have actually done." He said, as Tiberius frowned at the cover.

"Okay, I get that those two are Shepard and Archangel but who's the girl with them?" He asked, pointing to the illustration of a dark-haired haired girl with blue eyes and blue colony markings painted across her face, similar to those worn by both Shepard and Archangel.

"That's their daughter Angel. She was an orphan of the Reaper war that they adopted." He said and Tiberius frowned.

"So, she's actually a real person?" He asked and Philip nodded.

"Most information about the crew of the Normandy is just gossip but there have definitely been reports of a teenage girl with dark hair and Vakarian markings. Though, like I said, most of the truth is lost." He said and Tiala smirked a little.

"Of course it is. I mean, look at her outfit. That's just impractical. Right, Sarah?" She asked and Sarah shrugged, remaining silent.

"Oh, please. Sarah's not going to back you up. She's patrolling the lower wards without armour " Philip pointed out and Sarah shrugged once more. If any of them found her silence disconcerting, they didn't mention it.

"Well, duh! She's a biotic." Tiala said and Sarah raised an eyebrow at the asari, who smiled a little, knowingly. "Only biotics eat that much and stay that skinny." She reasoned and Sarah shook her head.

"I'm not a biotic." She said, causing Philip to frown.

"Then why do you have an implant scar?" He asked and she sighed.

"I used to be." She said simply, refusing to elaborate further.

"That doesn't make sense. How do you stop being a biotic?" Philip asked. Sarah wasn't particularly bothered by his questioning but Tia elbowed him under the table to shut him up.

"Idiot, she probably doesn't like to talk about it." The asari hissed at him, so low that Sarah figured a human wouldn't be able to hear, although they could have probably figured it out. Philip just frowned at the asari in response before turning back to Sarah.

"So, Sarah, tell us about yourself." He said and she sighed, folding her arms.

"Not much to tell." She said simply, but he refused to drop it.

"Come on, everyone has stories." He said and she fixed him with a glare, although he didn't seem to notice.

"I don't like to talk about it." She told him, but he refused to take the hint.

"Come on, not even why you joined C-Sec?" He asked and she shrugged. She wasn't even sure about that one.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time." She told him and he smiled, taking her cryptic response as progress.

"Okay, so where'd you grow up?" He asked and she groaned a little, knowing that he wouldn't let up. She didn't _want _to make friends.

_Really._

It would do nothing but make her life harder.

But she was bored. And she suddenly thought of the perfect way to amuse herself. If it alienated them in the process, then so be it.

"Fine. You really want to know?" She asked, trying to suppress a grin as he nodded. "Okay then, I will tell you the story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down. And I'd like to take a minute if you'll just sit right there, I'll tell you how I became the newest rookie at C-Sec." She said, her tone neutral but a smile flitted across her face.

"Ha!" Philip said as he began to tap out a beat on the table. Tiala and Tiberius just gave the both blank, confused looks so Sarah continued.

"In Terminus Systems I was born and raised. On the spaceship where I spent most of my days chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool and all shooting some b-ball outside of the shuttle. When a couple of guys, they were up to no good, started making trouble in my neighbourhood I got in one little fight and my mum got scared and said 'You're moving with your aunties on the Citadel'. I begged and pleaded with her day after day but she packed my suitcase and send me on my way. She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket. I put my visor on and said, 'I might as well kick it'. First class, yo this is bad. Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass. Is this what the people of Citadel are living like? Hmmmmm this might be alright. I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said 'fresh' and had a dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare but I thought nah, forget it, 'yo homes to C-Sec!' I pulled up to level about seven or eight and I yelled to the VI 'Yo, homes smell you later!' Looked at my kingdom I was finally there. To sit on my throne as the rookie of C-Sec." She finished and Philip laughed, shaking his head.

"You're alright, rookie." He said as he raised his hand for a high-five.

"There's an old asari saying that I think applies in this situation." Tiala said, frowning at the two of them. "It goes; 'What on Thessia are you idiots babbling about?'" She asked and they both laughed a little more.

"You just got 'Bel-Air'ed" Philip told her but she fixed him with a glare.

"That doesn't explain anything." She said and he shrugged.

"You really need to watch more vids, Tia. I'll show you when we get back to HQ." He said and she shook her head. Tiberius had rolled his eyes and stopped listening a while ago.

"So Sarah, you grew up on a ship?" Tiala asked and Sarah stopped laughing, nodding.

"Yeah. I'm a spacer brat." She admitted. She was still smiling and her attitude had lightened. She had been prepared to just show up, do her job and go home again. No messy friendships or complicated relationships, but damn it all if messy and complicated wasn't more fun.

"Ah." She said and Sarah gave her a questioning look. She shrugged in response. "It explains a lot." She explained and Sarah raised her eyebrows at her.

"So, your parents are in the Alliance?" Philip asked and Sarah shook her head, not entirely happy with where the conversation was heading.

"No. They run a private frigate." She told them, not explaining further. But again Philip wasn't happy with the short answer.

"So, do they transport cargo or what?" He asked and she shrugged.

"Something like that." She told him, once again keeping her reply short, her smile slipping.

"So, is that why you joined C-Sec? To get off your parents' ship?" He asked and she shrugged.

"Something like that." She repeated and Philip smiled, shaking his head a little. He decided to approach a different topic after that.

"So, any siblings?" He asked and she shrugged.

"Something like that." She repeated again, the ghost of a smile returning on her lips.

"Come on, Sarah. You've got to give me something." He said and she sighed. She wondered why the hell he was so curious. And then she remembered. _Duh, they're all cops..._ She sighed internally. There was the messy part of having friends. Keeping secrets from them.

"There were other kids on the ship, but none were technically my siblings." She finally said, rolling her eyes. Tiala cocked her head slightly before speaking up.

"So, was the crew all human?" She asked and Sarah shook her head.

"Nope." She said, refusing to elaborate further, but Tiala narrowed her eyes a little.

"Were your parents?" She asked and Sarah almost dropped her fork. She clearly hadn't given the young asari enough credit. She sighed a little, trying to figure out what to say. Did she feed them some bullshit line, or did she stay silent? How did she stop them from digging? This was why she wanted to avoid people, but here these three were, making her job much harder than it needed to be.

"My mum is." She settled for, as she carefully watched their reactions. Tiala had already figured it out so she just nodded. Philip looked shocked but wasn't saying anything. Tiberius had a better poker face than she did, which was both impressive and annoying as hell.

"Wait, only asari can have kids with other species. And you're not asari." Philip said and Sarah rolled her eyes.

"I hadn't noticed." She said sarcastically as Tiala hit him a little.

"Clearly she's not their biological daughter." Tiala told him and he looked a little confused before understanding dawned on his face.

"So, you're adopted?" He asked and her gaze briefly flickered to the comic book in front of him. She had taken up the mantle of Angel three years ago. After she had learned the true extent of evil in the galaxy. But it hadn't given her the answers she was looking for so she had decided on a change. Now she needed to distance herself from her past life as a vigilante as much as she could. Something this conversation wasn't helping. She shook her head in response.

"Donor." She clarified, hoping that she wouldn't need to explain further. Silence was a hell of a lot easier than lying.

"So, what species is your dad?" Philip asked and Sarah sighed a little, but Tiala answered for her.

"Turian." She said and Sarah nodded. She wasn't sure how the asari knew so much about her but it was damn annoying. As if sensing her question, Tiala answered it. "You act like a turian." She explained and Sarah sighed a little. She hadn't realized that she was so easy to read...

"Bondmates?" Tiberius asked, finally speaking up and Sarah nodded, rolling her eyes a little.

"Yup." She said and Philip frowned.

"Wait, what does that mean?" He asked and Tiala rolled her eyes at him.

"Philip, for someone who lives on the Citadel, you know surprisingly little about other cultures. Turians mate for life. They only ever fall in love once, if ever. And then they're bondmates." She explained and Philip frowned.

"So, what if they don't find their bondmate?" He asked and she shrugged.

"They're very pragmatic about it. They take a mate from a clan of similar status to their own." She explained and Philip frowned.

"But they don't love each other?" He asked and she shook her head.

"Not in the same way. They're usually friends who are attracted to each other but not _in love_. Humans often have difficulty understanding it." She reasoned and Philip frowned, before shrugging it off. Both Sarah and Tiberius remained silent until Philip turned to the turian.

"So Tiberius, you ever found a bondmate?" He asked and the turian shook his head.

"No, thank the spirits. Bondmates are nothing but trouble." He said and Sarah nodded.

"Amen to that." She said and Tiala and Philip both gave them incredulous looks.

"How can you say that?" Philip asked and they both shrugged, neither elaborating further.

"We should get going." Tiberius said and Sarah followed as he got up to go.

"Didn't figure you guys for friends." Sarah observed once they were out of earshot.

"We're not. Tiala is alright but I wouldn't call us _friends_ and Philip is an ass." He told her and Sarah raised an eyebrow. "But you two seemed to be getting along just fine." He said and she again cursed the fact that she couldn't read him.

"Oh, I know that he's an ass. But he's not _too_ bad." She said, shrugging, before her gaze lowered a little. "I wasn't... planning on making any friends here. I'm not here for that." She admitted and he frowned.

"So then tell me, Blue. What are you here for?" He asked and she sighed, folding her arms.

"I'm... I guess I'm looking for something." She said and his sub-harmonics trilled with question.

"Looking for what?" He asked and she shrugged.

"I don't know. Answers maybe..." She trailed off before shaking her head. "It doesn't matter. Point is, I had no intention of making friends. I'm not exactly a people person. But... I guess sometimes intentions don't matter." She said and he nodded in understanding.

"I'm not exactly a people person either." He admitted and she smiled.

"Good." She said.

"So, recon work?"


	2. Chapter Two - My Mistake?

**AN: Thanks to everyone who had favourited, followed and reviewed and special thanks to my beta Spyke1985.**

**Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Two - My Mistake?**

"Yeah, that's definitely their hideout." Tiberius said as he passed Sarah his sniper rifle to see for herself. Knowing that her father was a turian explained most of the oddities he had noticed, from her sub-harmonics to a least _some_ her body language. Tiala was right, she did carry herself like a turian. However, as she walked he kept noticing other little quirks in her body language; some asari, quarian, or even krogan traits showed up. He even noticed her using a very drell-like gesture at one point.

He also couldn't help but notice how she kept to the shadows, purposefully avoiding the more crowded areas. She acted like a predator, but her eyes screamed prey as they scanned her environment for exits and escape routes, as if she expected to have to run at a moments notice. But what from, he couldn't figure out. Although, he figured it was the same thing that gave her the hardened look in her eyes and why she didn't seem to _care_ about anything. It seemed to him that the more he found out about this human, the more questions he had.

"Plan?" She asked, pulling him from his thoughts, and he considered their options for a moment.

"We get a warrant and come back." He said simply and he saw a flash of anger cross her features, but it was quickly silenced.

"Okay then." She said, her voice a little strained. He got the impression that if it were up to her they would simply gun the mercs down and move on. The thought chilled him a little, although he partially agreed. She took one last look through the rifle scope before tensing up. She passed him back the rifle and he looked for himself as her sub-harmonics trilled with fury.

"Shit..." He muttered as he caught sight of what she had seen. They weren't just transporting illegal tech like he had thought. They were transporting slaves. He had no idea how the operation had gone unnoticed for so long on the Citadel, of all places, but it didn't change anything. "There's still nothing we can do without a warrant." He told her and she rounded on him, fury in her eyes replacing the hardened look that had been a permanent feature since they had met that morning.

"I am _not_ letting them get off this station with those people." She hissed at him and he growled in response. He didn't like it either, but they couldn't just run off like they were vigilantes or Spectres. They were C-Sec and there was an order to things.

"It's procedure, _Officer_." He growled at her and then, to his surprise, she growled back.

"Look, I'm going. With or without you. You can either cover me, or go and tell the boss, but you need to make a decision." She told him, her tone harsh. He couldn't believe that he found himself pulling his weapon and nodding in acceptance, ready to watch her six. Or kill her. He hadn't decided yet...

"Fine, I've got your back Blue." He told her, still growling a little. He could have sworn that her expression softened momentarily as he used his nickname for her and he wondered if she had actually been worried that he would leave her hanging. If it had been anyone else, any of the other partners he had been paired with, he would have. But not her. He could deal with hot-headedness and a penchant for trouble so long as she actually knew what she was doing, and he knew that if he fought against her, chances were he would just be paired with someone worse. He couldn't help but hate the C-Sec policy of working in twos...

But he readied his weapon anyway as she leapt down from their perch, breaking her fall by grabbing at various ledges along the way. He immediately lined up his sniper rifle as she synced their comm channels and pulled out her pistol. He had to admire her swift efficiency as she entered the building, taking down most of the guards silently with her omni-blade so that she made it into the main compound before she had been spotted. Tiberius was glad of the open areas of the docks, which allowed him to follow her movements from up high without obstruction.

"_Are you okay?_" He heard her ask the slaves over the comm. Her anger had lessened from her voice and, for the first time since he had met her, she showed the slightest sign of actually _caring_ about something as he heard concern fill her voice. "_Okay, follow me._" She told them but they only made it a few steps before they were overwhelmed. Tiberius cursed as he realized that they had walked into a trap. Maybe not a trap as such, but it was a situation that shouldn't have happened. They should have prepared more. _Stupid, stubborn, human woman..._

"_Leave. Now._" Tiberius heard the leader, a salarian, say as he approached.

"_Not happening._" She told him, he couldn't her her sub-harmonics over the comm but her single-tone voice did a really good job of conveying her anger without them. Despite the situation she was in, he felt a little more concerned for the mercs than for her at that moment. She exploded with biotic energy, catching him off guard. Hadn't she said that she no longer had the ability?

"_What the-?_" He heard her say as the blast knocked down the majority of the guards but left her vulnerable as she seemed as surprised as he was. He proceeded to take down the majority of the guards around her as she turned to the two krogan flanking the salarian, one of which was charging her. She jumped backwards, her hand catching the top of a crate and propelling her into a backwards flip, landing a safe distance from the krogan before she hurled two Warps at him, tearing down his armour. In that time the other krogan had started to charge her, pointing his shotgun at her, but she simply built up her biotic energy to create an impenetrable barrier around herself before charging him herself, colliding with him head-on. Tiberius looked on, shocked, as the krogan collapsed and she proceeded to unload a clip between his eyes. After that she made quick work of the remaining mercs since Tiberius had taken care of most of them with well-placed shots to the head.

However, in the resulting chaos the salarian had grabbed one of the slaves as a hostage and Tiberius had no problem seeing the raw fury in Sarah's gaze through his scope.

"_Let me go or the bitch dies._" He told them and Tiberius was a little taken aback by the very turian growl that came from his partner.

"_Do you honestly think that will work?_" She asked before proceeding to shoot him. Tiberius immediately jumped down to their position to find that Sarah had shot the salarian dead, grazing the hostage's arm in the process. He found her staring at her arm as the biotic power flickered out and died. She flicked her wrist a few times as if trying to fire them up again but nothing happened. He was too preoccupied with the sight of the wounded hostage to process this properly however, so he growled angrily at her.

"What?" She asked, snapping out of her daze, anger once again marring her features.

"You know what." He spat and she clenched her jaw. "You shot the hostage!" He told her and she continued to glare at him.

"So?" She asked and he was so close to hitting her it was unreal. She had just shot an innocent woman in the arm and all she had to say was '_so'_?! She took a deep breath and let her expression soften a little. "It's just a flesh wound. She'll be fine. If I hadn't... There's no telling what he would have done." She reasoned, but Tiberius just shook his head. How could she be so cold about it? It was her first day on the job and she had just killed several people. Mercs and killers, sure, but still... She was acting with the detachment of a soldier who had seen more than enough conflict to last a lifetime.

"It's not how things are done here." He told her, his tone a little more harsh than it needed to be. Her expression returned to a stony state and her eyes became hardened once more as she retreated back to how she had been that morning.

"Sorry." She told him, no apology or any other emotion in her voice. He sighed, shaking his head a little. What was he going to do with her?

* * *

"Your behavior was irresponsible and reckless!" Sarah stood across the desk from the Executor, her hands clasped behind her back and her head held high, her expression blank and her sub-harmonics silent.

"If we had called it in and waited for an investigation, they would have gotten away Au- Executor." She explained, her tone calm and neutral. Solana Vakarian sighed as she regarded her niece.

"Sarah, this isn't about that! You _shot a hostage_! I know for a fact that that wouldn't be okay with your parents, so I don't know why you think it would be okay with me, of all people." She told her as she folded her arms in exasperation.

"I thought I had enough evidence and I made a judgement call. I'm sorry if you don't agree with it." Sarah said, her tone still formal and emotionless. It reminded Solana a little too much of her brother's response to being in trouble.

"Sarah, there are rules and procedures to prevent things like this from happening. Did you even read the handbook?" She asked and for a second she could have sworn that she saw a little guilt flit across her niece's face.

"I... Skimmed it." She admitted and her aunt sighed once again.

"Dammit, Sarah... If you wanted the freedom of a freelancer or a Spectre then you should have stayed put. When I suggested this to you, I assumed that you understood that. Was I wrong?" She asked, letting disappointment lace her sub-harmonics. She had been a mother for long enough to know exactly how to get the results she wanted.

"No! I... I'll do better. I promise." She said, her sub-harmonics voicing her determination and her aunt nodded at her.

"Good. Honestly, I had hoped that Tiberius would keep you in line and that you would get him to loosen up a little. He should know better. So, I'm punishing both of you." She said and watched with surprise at her niece's violent response to that, her sub-harmonics screaming _**NO!**_

"It was my call, not his. He had nothing to do with it!" Solana wondered for a few moments at the severity of the response she was getting, but filed it away for later. For now, she had to do her job.

"He's your partner. He should have stopped you, not helped you. I think that I was hasty in allowing you to skip both academy training and the entrance exams. Sure, I know you'll pass, but it'll be a hell of a lot easier for me to justify your behavior if you ace the tests. I've put Tiberius in charge of your testing. Hopefully a day of tedious exams will be punishment enough for the two of you." She said, indicating that Sarah should leave. She wondered if Sarah was too much like her parents to ever really get anywhere with C-Sec, but she had to give her the chance, she decided.

* * *

Sarah found Tiberius by the lockers and approached him tentatively, worried that he would he angry with her. Worry was a new feeling for her. Anger, frustration and self-blame were all old hat, but worry? Especially about what another person thought of her? She must be more tired than she thought...

"Hey. I really am sorry." She said, voicing the apology that her sub-harmonics were already making. He nodded at her, his face and voice neutral.

"Why?" He asked and she frowned a little before answering.

"I'm sorry that I didn't follow procedure. And I'm sorry for acting recklessly. I'm not used to working with others or... I'm sorry. I've never... Been _that_ extreme before. I just saw the option and I took the shot without really thinking." She admitted. "I guess you want a better partner now..." She said, regret lacing her sub-harmonics. He sighed and shook his head.

"No." He said definitively. "As long as you're willing to learn, we shouldn't have a problem." She nodded.

"I am." She said and he regarded her carefully before smiling a little, his sub-harmonics telling her that they were okay.

"I don't usually operate out in the field anyway. I just needed that intel." He said and she looked a little uncomfortable as she remembered their original objective.

"Did you get it?" She asked tentatively, unsure of how angry he would be if she had messed up his chance to get the data.

"Yeah, I got it, Blue." He told her and she smiled weakly as he used her nickname.

"Hey!" Philip cried as he jumped up behind Sarah, not recognizing the tension between her and Tiberius as he put his hand on her shoulder and caught her by surprise.

The next thing he knew, he was on the ground with the wind knocked out of him.

"Sorry." Sarah said sheepishly, glad for the first time in two months that her biotics were no longer responding properly. "You shouldn't sneak up on me." She told him apologetically, with a hint of warning.

"Okay, well, if you're done attacking me." He joked, causing her to wince a little, although Tiberius noted that she quickly returned her features to their regular stony state. "What's going on?" He asked.

"Nothing." Sarah said, trying to keep the upset from her sub-harmonics. She was still mad at herself for screwing up.

"Okay... Well, Tiala and I often go to this little café after work and we were wondering if you wanted to come with." He said.

"You're welcome too, Tiberius." Tiala supplied, causing Philip to shoot her a quick look. Sarah sighed and gave them a quick, apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry but I haven't had time to unpack or anything and I have exams in the morning. Another time?" She was just making excuses but she was tired of screwing up for one day.

"Yeah, sure. We understand." Tiala said, smiling in a reassuring way.

"Well, if Blue's not going then I'm out." Tiberius said as Sarah walked out of the room, leaving him alone with Tiala and Philip.

"So, what do you think?" Tiala asked him and he frowned.

"About what?" He asked and Philip rolled his eyes at the turian.

"Rookie. You spent all day with her. We've heard nothing. Not even a rumor about her." He said and Tiberius shrugged.

"She's... I'm not sure. She can't seem to decide if she wants to be friends with people or if she wants to keep them at arms length. I mean, I was convinced that she didn't have the nerve to handle a real fight and the next thing I know, she's charging a krogan. _With biotics_. And she seemed as surprised about it as I was. She's the most unpredictable person I've ever met." He said and the other two both frowned.

"Is that why you spent an hour in the Executor's office?" Philip asked.

"Yeah." He said, not bothering to elaborate and Tiala nodded thoughtfully.

"I heard what she said and she gave you guys a very fair punishment. But what I can't figure out is why exactly Sarah wasn't tested in the first place. I mean, it's not too unusual to bypass the academy but the entrance exams? I don't know anyone who wasn't tested." She said and Tiberius frowned.

"Wait, you have the Executor's office bugged?" He hissed and Tiala just gave him a dismissive wave of her hand.

"You're not focusing on the important stuff. Whoever Sarah is, she's clearly had some training before, plus it sounded as if the Executor knew her personally..." Tiala trailed off and Philip frowned at them both.

"You guys are terrible, you know that, right? If she wants to tell us, she will. Plus, chances are that she went to Grissom given that she has biotics. Or _had _biotics or whatever the hell is going on with that. Maybe she's a graduate and that's why she wasn't tested." He reasoned and Tiala and Tiberius both gave him a shocked look, causing him to sigh. "You know, me figuring something out shouldn't be so much of a shock. It has been known to happen..." He said and Tiala smiled at him.

"Of course it has." She said, half jokingly. "Well, weirdness aside, I like her. What do you guys think?" Tiala asked and they both shrugged.

"I kind of thought she was a bitch until she 'Bel-Air'ed you guys. She seems like she might be alright once you get past the ice-queen act." He reasoned and Tiala nodded.

"Exactly." She said before giving Philip a slightly confused look. When did he become so astute? "So, what do you think, Smiles?" She asked and the turian shrugged.

"Doesn't matter. As long as she does her job, I'm not going to complain." He said and Philip narrowed his eyes at him.

"Wait, are you actually going to stick with her? You always request a transfer after your first day with a new partner." He said and Tiberius shrugged.

"She's not the worst I've ever been paired with and I figure Executor Vakarian will just give me someone worse if I ditch her." He said and Philip realized that he wasn't going to get anything more from the turian and so let it go.

"Okay then, you coming Tia?" He asked and the asari nodded, although she waited with Tiberius until Philip had left the room.

"That's a very reasonable excuse." She told him. "So why don't I believe it?" She asked and he sighed.

"Because I'm not sure if I do..."

* * *

Sarah trudged into the bakery and dumped her bag unceremoniously on the counter. Her Aunt Kara lifted her head and raised an eyebrow at her.

"Well, hello to you too." She said and Sarah groaned.

"I know, I'm sorry. It's been a rough first day..." Her aunt smiled at her, nodding in understanding.

"Tell you what, go and put your bag upstairs in your new room and by the time you get back your Aunt Lona will be back here and you can tell us both about it. Okay?" Sarah smiled at that, picking up her bag again.

"Okay, I will be back in five." She said before heading upstairs and dumping her bag in the guest room. It was smaller than her room on the Normandy and the window showed a view of the street below instead of the stars. It made her homesick. But she wasn't about to run back home to her parents. She was determined to prove that she could do this...

She spent a few moments unpacking her things, her heart giving a painful tug when she took out her blue colony paint and placed it in her small bathroom. She caught a look of her face in the mirror and frowned, taking her visor off for a moment. Her eyes would probably pass for human, the dark flesh making up the inside of her eye socket where pink should be could easily be confused for make-up, but she didn't want to risk it so she wore the visor. She found a hair band and used it to keep her fringe of hair from her eyes, revealing the small crest plates hidden beneath. Just one more thing to hide...

She hated that she was in such a sour mood, blaming the fact that she hadn't had much sleep the night before. Not that she slept much anyway, but she hadn't slept even by her standards for the past few days. Stress was doing a number on her body, but she couldn't tell anyone because she had to prove that she could cope, that she could do this on her own. She sighed, composing herself and looking to the positives; her testing tomorrow would almost certainly include hand-to-hand combat. Although she doubted that anyone could match her skills, she had spent the last three years making sure she was the best. It was how she coped...

She finished unpacking and brought out her clothes, mindful of a tear in her jeans where she had been hit in the fight earlier that day. She had covered it with a bandage before Tiberius had seen, careful to not let him notice any of her blood. She sighed as she took them off, examining the damage. They could be patched up and she was thankful. It was difficult to find clothes that covered the odd curves of her muscles, the things that just weren't quite human. Her jacket covered the turian proportions of her chest and waist, but she needed specially fitted jeans to cover for her legs.

If her Aunt Lona hadn't been a tailor she would have been screwed, she thought to herself as she put on another pair of jeans and put her boots back on, the heel covering the way her foot arched upwards like a turian's. The differences were still there, still clear enough for her to see. She sure as hell wasn't human, no matter what her new friends thought. But she also wasn't turian. The wound on her leg was evidence enough of that. It had closed up but an angry purple line was still present. Not red like a human, or blue like a turian, but _purple_. Completely unique. And she still wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not...

She sighed and pulled herself out of her melancholy, determined to not annoy her aunts with her bad mood. She headed back down to the café, aware that it was still business hours, so she took her hair band out and put her visor back on. When she returned she found her Aunt Kara laughing and holding her wife's hand. She had known Kara her entire life and had often stayed with her and Gran-Gran on Earth during her childhood, helping out in the bakery they ran there, until ten years ago her aunt had moved back to the Citadel and met the purple-skinned asari whose hand she currently held. Sarah couldn't help but smile at them, their contagious happiness pushing away her dark mood.

"Sarah!" Her Aunt Lona cried, pulling her into a hug, a little tentatively as she was aware of how little Sarah enjoyed hugging. People had always said that she inherited that trait from her mother, but she knew that it was a recent thing... "I haven't seen you in years. You're all grown up." Her aunt told her and she tried to smile through her discomfort.

"Thanks, Aunt Lona." She said sheepishly.

"Hey, Sarah!" She heard a familiar male voice calling from a near-by table and saw Philip and Tiala sitting there.

"Hey, guys. I didn't realize you meant that you would be coming here." Sarah said, as she moved to sit next to them. She knew that she should just nod and leave but that would be rude and she just couldn't bring herself to do it. Although she was regarding them coolly, too tired to fake a smile.

"Yeah, Philip here is lactose intolerant so it's one of his favorite haunts." Tiala explained and Sarah nodded. The bakery/café her aunts ran served specialist baked goods for people with certain allergies.

"I'm staying upstairs with my aunts." She explained and Tiala gave her a questioning look.

"You aren't living by yourself?" She asked and Sarah shook her head.

"It was one of the conditions of leaving home." She explained and Tiala leaned forward in a conspiratorial manner.

"So, it seemed like you and Tiberius were getting on well." She said in a low voice and Sarah sighed, leaning back in her chair and folding her arms.

"I guess we were at first but... I messed up and I didn't follow procedure. I managed to get us both in trouble with the Executor." She admitted and Tiala gave her a sympathetic look, but Philip just grinned. She didn't mention the fact that she would prefer to spend the day in the C-Sec building instead of an overcrowded ward.

"Ha! I knew you were a troublemaker like us and not a stick-in-the-mud like Guy Smiley." He said and Sarah shrugged.

"I guess I am a nuisance. Red must really hate having to work with me..." She said and Tiala shook her head.

"Nah, if he did he would have requested another partner already. At this point I think he'll just take someone who can hold a gun. Executor Vakarian keeps pairing him with the hopeless cases. Not that I think that she thinks you're a hopeless case! Just... You know..." Tiala tried desperately to dig herself back out of her metaphorical hole and Sarah put all of her effort into smiling at her kindly, although the emotion still refused to reach her eyes.

"It's fine. Honestly, I think she does think that. I have extensive combat experience but... not much else. I can handle a weapon but my biotics have been... inconsistent for two months now and I'm not so great at thinking before I act. Or tech. I'm shit with tech..." She joked and Tiala laughed a little. Truthfully her problems ran a little deeper than that but no one knew that.

"I'm the tech-y one in this duo." She confessed and Sarah gave Philip a questioning look.

"So, no offence, but what are your skills?" She asked him and he grinned.

"I can jam!" He said and she just raised her eyebrows, causing Tiala to sigh.

"He means that he plays guitar. The stupid thing is Philip is actually smart. He just can't be bothered." She said, shaking her head as Philip just shrugged.

"I don't get paid enough to actually bother with stuff." He reasoned causing both Tiala and Sarah to smile.

"I'm surprised the Executor hasn't just fired him. Her mate sure as hell wants to." Tiala told her and Sarah nodded. Her Uncle Chellick had always been the stricter of the two.

"Yeah, you're lucky you dealt with the Executor herself earlier and not with him." Philip told her and her smile widened a little.

"I don't doubt that."

* * *

Philip and Tiala stayed until closing and generally brightened Sarah's mood. Just as they were about to leave, Philip touched the skin of her arm where she had rolled up her jacket's sleeve and she put all of her effort into not overreacting. She managed to keep her composure as she said goodbye to the both of them and turned to her aunts.

"So, you've been busy making friends." Her Aunt Kara said as she sat at the counter.

"Yeah, I guess." She said, her expression unchanging, and her aunt gave her a sly look.

"Philip seems to like you." She told her and Sarah shook her head.

"Aunt Kara, I've only been here five minutes. I'd like to just start with making friends, which is enough of a pain in the ass..." She said and her aunt nodded sympathetically.

"So, who is this Tiberius that Tiala mentioned?" She asked and Sarah frowned.

"Red? He's the guy Aunt Sol paired me with. I managed to get in trouble on my first day and I dragged him down along with me." She said and her aunt frowned a little.

"Sarah, why are you here? Don't take this the wrong way, I love having you here, but what happened to going to university? I know that you've taken an interest in your parents' work over the past few years but if that's the case then you'd be better off staying on the Normandy. So why here? Why C-Sec?" She asked and Sarah sighed, shrugging.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time." She said before heading back upstairs before her aunt could say anything else.

* * *

Sarah sat on the roof of the building, watching the skycars pass by. She wished that there was an artificial night cycle on the Citadel. The permanent daytime combined with the time-difference was throwing her off. She was exhausted, but she was determined to not touch the sedatives again. So she settled for playing music through her visor as she watched the cars fly past.

"_Dear Frustrated Superstar, your mother's waiting in the car_

_To whisk you off to your new premiere_

_And all the friends who knew your name_

_Are waiting, wondering what became_

_Of the girl that they once knew but never loved_

_They never loved._

_So every city tells the lie_

_Of beggars, tramps and butterflies_

_Of all these things, then what am I?_

_A princess in a threadbare gown,_

_A gaudy, painted circus clown?_

_A child who lost her key and can't get home?_

_All the things I never was -_

_A traitor in the Western Wars_

_A girl who did it just because._

_Do or die, or don't at all_

_Prepare to suffer for your call_

_Some things have to hurt or they're not true._

_They can't be true_

_When you die, you'll wonder, "was that it?"_

_Will you think of how you'd wished you lived?_

_Well, you're here now_

_Yes you're here now._

_So I only want to be up there_

_With a hundred others, I don't care_

_'Cause I'm here now_

_Yes I'm here now._"

The music was cut off by her omni-tool beeping and Sarah sighed before moving to answer it.

"Hey, sis. What's up?" The image of the girl asked, tucking her short dark hair behind her ear.

"I wouldn't even know where to begin." She replied, sighing at her honorary younger sister and Hilary nodded.

"Yeah. I... I worried about you leaving home." She told her and Sarah sighed. There it was. Hilary had never spoken to her about what had happened that night, but Sarah had long suspected that the younger girl knew. Sarah suspected that she simply didn't know how to approach the topic, so she'd left it alone. And Sarah was glad for that. It was her burden and she refused to share it with the young girl.

"I'm fine. Really. This is just going to take some getting used to." She said and Hilary smiled.

"The 'Intergalactic Nursery' doesn't quite prepare you for the outside world, does it?" She asked and Sarah shook her head, smiling.

"No it does not." She said, her smile was finally genuine and matched the one Hilary was giving her.

"At least your mom was just the commander and not the freaking AI. It's left me with some really weird habits..." She joked and Sarah's own smile took on a bittersweet edge.

"Made any slip-ups yet?" She asked and Hilary looked away.

"No. There have been some close calls but... I guess I'm not hiding much. I'm using my real name and it's not as if I have to hide my appearance like you do. How about you?" She asked and Sarah sighed.

"No. Sort of. I wasn't planning on telling anyone anything. I was dumb enough to think that I could just show up, do my work and leave without ever talking to anyone. I... Miscalculated." She admitted and Hilary laughed a little.

"You can't keep yourself closed off forever, Sarah. At some point you have to let people in." She told her and Sarah simply folded her arms stubbornly.

"No I don't." She said, simply and brightly, causing Hilary to raise an eyebrow.

"Yes, you do." She said, but Sarah refused to budge. "You'll figure it out for yourself soon enough." She said, sighing. Sarah just shrugged.

"Whatever you say. So, any cool stories from flight school?"


	3. Chapter Three - Testing

**AN: Thanks to everyone who has favourited, followed and reviewed and special thanks to my beta Spyke1985.**

**Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Three - Testing**

Sarah trudged down to the main shop, knowing that it wasn't open yet. She arrived groggily to find her aunts both getting ready for opening.

"Coffee?" She asked, rubbing her eyes.

"Good morning to you too." Her Aunt Lona said as she poured her a mug.

"Ha-ha. Funny." She groaned as she took the mug and turned to see a familiar figure standing in front of the counter.

"Red?" She asked, frowning. Was it just her or did he look embarrassed?

"Yeah. I walk by here on the way to work and figured I should come and pick you up." He said, his sub-harmonics trilling with nervousness. She frowned, trying to think past the sleepy haze as his eye flickered across her body.

_Ah._

She looked down and realized that she was only wearing a tight vest top, a pair of short shorts and her holo-locket. She frowned as she looked back at him before shrugging.

"I'll be embarrassed when I wake up." She murmured sleepily as she headed upstairs to get changed, leaving her new partner more than a little confused. In his experience human women tended to be very shy about their bodies. Unless, of course, they had served in the military and were used to not having any privacy. He figured that Sarah was right and the only reason she wasn't bothered by it was that she simply hadn't woken up yet. Or, she simply didn't care. She hadn't cared about anything but those slaves so far, so he couldn't imagine her being bothered by this.

Although he had to admit that it bothered _him_ a little and he couldn't quite figure out why... It was odd to see her in so little clothing. He wasn't used to seeing so much of a human female but he was sure that they were... softer. Sarah's bones seemed more pronounced, particularly her rib cage and... Collar bone? He really wasn't great with human physiology. He wondered if that would stop him from being able to patch her up in the field. Given what he had seen of her fighting style yesterday, he figured he should probably double up his field supply of medi-gel.

Sarah headed back upstairs, still in a sleepy daze, and started to get dressed. Her thoughts remained fogged by sleep until she caught herself reaching for her paint. The last thing she needed was to accidentally put her markings on, given that they lasted a whole week before needing to be re-applied. She had no idea if she could remove them earlier. She had never had cause to before.

She carefully looked over her face without her markings or any make-up and found it completely alien to her. This woman before her was almost human. But not quite. But she didn't want to be human. She wasn't sure if she wanted to be turian either. She was Sarah 'Angel' Shepard-Vakarian. Or was it Vakarian-Shepard? That argument was a very old, very tired one that she didn't have time for as she wiped foundation over her face to cover the very light outline left by years of painting her colony marks across her tough skin. She had known that this was the price of being 'normal' when she had left the Normandy. But knowing and seeing were two _very_ different things.

By that point she was awake enough to feel embarrassed about Tiberius seeing her in her pajamas. Although, what concerned her most were the little things that she was currently taking comfort from. He probably hadn't noticed that her muscles twisted around her large bones much like a turian's under their plates instead of like a human's beneath their soft skin. She hoped that he didn't know enough about human anatomy to notice the difference. She was _well aware_ of the prejudices that still existed between the two species, despite her parents' attempts to shield her from it.

But she couldn't focus on that right now. She needed her head clear. Her hand moved to trace the outline of her markings for a moment as she hoped that he hadn't seen the faint blue stain. She remembered that she wasn't wearing her visor either and cursed herself for being so careless, hoping that he attributed the dark skin around her eyes to smudged make-up. She wished that her aunts had had the sense to at least warn her, but that wish was answered as she finished getting dressed and activated her omni-tool, finding a message from her Aunt Kara, warning her. She sighed as she put her visor on and headed back downstairs. Tiberius was still there and looked unperturbed, so she figured that she was in the clear.

"You're a morning person, aren't you?" She asked him, narrowing her eyes a little as she poured herself another mug of coffee. He shrugged.

"It's one of the benefits of only sleeping for five hours a night." He reasoned but she shook her head.

"No, see I'm a light sleeper so I only need around six hours. That doesn't mean I'm all... _Chipper_ at 0700." She told him, grumpily, and he noted her use of military time. She indicated to the mug in her hands as she downed the end of the mug. "That's what the coffee is for." She said as she put the mug away, waving to her aunts. "See you guys later." She said as they headed out of the door and made their way to work.

"So, are you ready for your testing?" He asked and she sighed.

"You're not going to go easy on me, are you?" She asked and he shook his head. She could have sworn that she could see the ghost of a smile on his dark features.

"After yesterday? Not a chance." He said, enough humour in his voice to make her grin, although he noted once again that her eyes remained hardened and cold.

"Good. I've never had my skills officially tested before. I'm curious." She admitted and he frowned.

"Didn't you take your high school exams?" He asked.

"Of course. I graduated both human and turian high school about three years ago but they don't test the stuff I'm _really_ good at." She admitted and he gave a little nod before changing the subject, as if noting some information for later. She wondered if she was being careful enough with her information. But she couldn't let herself seem too guarded. That was a sure way for him to know that there was anything _to_ know.

"Are those dog tags?" He asked and she looked down at her holo-locket, realizing that it was above her vest. They were designed like a set of dog tags but if she touched them, holo-images of her family would appear. She let her mind wander to the night she had been given them.

_Sarah sat cross-legged on her bed, Big Bear clutched to her chest. The teddy bear smelt of old, forgotten memories. Of her dad reading her bedtime stories and her mum singing softly as Sarah had clung to her, following the Commander everywhere as she did her work around the ship. When had she stopped? She wondered. Perhaps it was when Hillary had arrived on board. 'I'm trusting you to look after her', she remembered her mum telling her. For once she had someone else to look after, a sense of responsibility._

_Not that that had stopped her from acting stupid. From making a near-fatal mistake..._

_And now she couldn't put it right._

_She flicked her wrist a couple of times but her biotics wouldn't activate. She felt nothing but empty inside and she figured that she deserved to lose them. It was her punishment for failing._

_"Can I come in?" Her mother's voice came from behind the door._

_"Yeah." She said and her mum entered. She smiled at Sarah as she sat down next to her._

_"You still missing Hillary?" She asked and Sarah nodded, eager to not reveal what was truly bothering her._

_"Yeah." She said and her mum regarded her carefully._

"_Your biotics still not working?" She asked and Sarah nodded. "Yeah, mine weren't exactly stable when I was younger, either. Don't worry, they'll be back. And in greater numbers." She quoted and Sarah smiled weakly. _

_"Are you... okay?" Her mother asked and Sarah narrowed her eyes a little. Did she know? No. How could she? Sarah wondered about the question. She had spent so long working towards fixing her mistake, even though it hadn't felt right those last few months..._

_Whatever her feelings, the opportunity had passed. And now she felt... Empty. Three years of anger and she no longer knew who she was without it._

_"I... I will be." She said and her mother nodded, the look of understanding making Sarah wonder, once again, if she knew._

_"We're not leaving for another week. You can still visit until then." She said and Sarah nodded. She probably wouldn't. Too many people. "So, where do you want to go next? I was thinking the beach. On Virmire, specifically. I haven't been back in a long time..." Her mother said, trailing off. Sarah smiled a little before biting her lip._

_"I... I don't think I'm coming." She said and her mum raised her eyebrow, brushing a strand of blond-gray hair from her eyes._

_"Are you going to return to your studies?" She asked and Sarah shook her head._

_"No. I... I was thinking maybe C-Sec." She said and her mum frowned at her._

_"Really? Why?" She asked and Sarah shrugged._

_"A change, I guess. I think I need to start again." She admitted and her mum nodded._

_"Yeah, I get that." She said before pulling out a small, flat box._

_"When I left home, my mom gave me a holo-locket. It helped to remind me what I was fighting for. I... I lost it when... Just after Saren." She explained and Sarah's gaze fell on the wedding ring shaped holo-locket that her mother always wore. "Your father gave me this just before I... Returned to Earth. Anyway, I figured that I should give you the same. Think of it like a pilgrimage gift." Sarah smiled at the analogy. That was exactly what she was doing, after all, heading out to find her own way and prove herself to the galaxy, just like a quarian on pilgrimage._

_She opened the box to find a set of dog tags. Her name wasn't inscribed in full, instead just her initials; SASV. _

_Her mum smiled a little sheepishly._

_"I wasn't sure whether to put SV or VS." She admitted but Sarah just shook her head. It didn't matter to her, so long as both names were there. On the flip side there was the same angel/phoenix logo that was painted on the side of the ship's hull, causing Sarah to grin. It was a piece of home that she would carry with her, no matter how far she wandered._

_"Thank you, Mum. I... I guess I wasn't expecting you to be so understanding about this." She admitted and her mum just smiled._

_"I, erm... I figured this was coming. And I was concerned at first, but then your dad pointed out that we were both younger than you when we left home. Hell, he was fifteen when he went into the military. I agree with you on this one, Sarah. You have to figure out who you are outside of this crazy ship. We're not going anywhere, you have all the time in the world to figure out your place in the universe. And if you decide that it's away from here, then that's fine, and if you decide that it's back here, then that's fine too." She said and Sarah smiled._

_"I lucked out on parents, didn't I?" She asked and her mum smiled a little awkwardly._

_"No more than I lucked out with_ _you."_

Sarah pulled herself out of her memories as she placed her holo-locket back under her vest, glad that Tiberius was standing too far from her to see the logo or inscription properly.

"I'm a spacer, remember? From the Terminus at that. Home is run like a military ship." _Because it _is _a military ship,_ she added in her mind, as he eyed the holo-locket but remained silent. She couldn't tell what he was thinking and was once again annoyed by his perfect poker face and total control of his sub-harmonics. She thought she was good at keeping to herself, but he made her look like a small child trying to lie to their parents.

* * *

They arrived at C-Sec at the same time as Philip and Tiala. Sarah smiled a little as she noticed that Tiala seemed wide awake but Philip looked as if he was about to drop off where he stood.

"Tia's a morning person too, I take it?" She asked him and he groaned, nodding.

"Yep. Smiley got you up?" He asked and she sighed.

"Yup. Thank the spirits for coffee, is all I can say." She joked as they moved into the building.

"So, you ready for your big day of exams?" He asked and she shrugged.

"As ready as I'll ever be, I guess. Wish me luck." She said as she moved away but he simply raised an eyebrow.

"Please, you don't need luck. Just mad skills." He said and she rolled her eyes at him as she followed Tiberius through to the examination room and prepared to spend the next few hours taking the exams.

* * *

She left the exam room feeling mentally drained. She had no idea what time it was, but her stomach told her that it was past lunch. She approached Tiberius's desk and saw that he had a box of mini-cans of her favorite dextro pop.

"Don't suppose you could spare a can? I forgot to take any water in with me." She told him and he turned to face her as she sat in the chair next to his.

"Yeah, but it's dextro." He warned.

"I know. I'm not dextro sensitive or anything, don't worry." She told him and he nodded, handing her a can.

"I was just checking that you weren't trying to get out of your exams this afternoon by claiming an allergic reaction." She grinned at that.

"Please, this afternoon is going to be a breeze compared to this morning. It's all of the stuff I'm good at." She admitted as he grabbed a datapad from his desk and Tiala and Philip approached.

"So, how'd you do?" He asked her and Sarah shrugged in response.

"Red was just about to tell me." She said and Tiberius nodded.

"Are you okay with me reading the results out in front of the other two?" He asked and she narrowed her eyes.

"Is that code for 'you've failed everything and it's super embarrassing'?" She asked and he shook his head.

"I don't think so. I can only pull up one result at a time." He said and she braced herself, not wanting to delay any more but also not really wanting to know the answer.

"It's fine, just tell me." She said and he nodded.

"You got a perfect score in xeno-linguistics." He said and they all looked a little shocked.

"How?!" Philip exclaimed. "You would have to be fluent in _everything_." He said and Tiala rolled her eyes.

"Stop exaggerating. But, yeah, you'd have to have a pretty good grasp of Human, Turian, Salarian and Asari Common along with basic skills in Quarian, Krogan, Volus and Elcor. I think there are even a couple of questions on Hanar bio-luminescence." She said and Sarah shrugged.

"My mum has this thing about not relying on translators. I've never actually used one since I grew up around aliens. I had to learn several languages in order to communicate with the entire crew. It's a pretty useful skill." She told them and Philip frowned a little.

"But you can't even speak Turian without a second voice-box." He pointed out and she shrugged.

"Vocal implants." She explained before turning back to Tiberius. "So, what's the next one?" She asked and he returned his gaze to the datapad in front of him.

"Seventy three percent in mathematics." He said and she nodded. She was good with numbers. Maybe not gifted with them like her mother but she was still good. Tiberius continued on.

"Ninety three percent on the field skills test. You aced the medic section apparently. Are you a qualified medic?" He asked and she shook her head.

"I have studied xeno-biology, specifically genetics, but I decided to come here instead of going to university." She told them. She had found xeno-biology (it was _all_ xeno-biology to her) fascinating but she had learned that the evil of the world extended far beyond the medical.

"Well, so long as you can patch yourself up if you pull another stunt like yesterday, I'm happy." He said and she grinned a little.

"Don't worry. I prefer tending to my own wounds." She told him and he returned his gaze to the datapad.

"So, that just leaves the tech exam..." Sarah bit the inside of her lip at that, cursing silently as purple blood ran into her mouth. Every time she drew blood through the nervous habit, she was thankful of her fast healing. The last thing she needed was anyone seeing her blood. That would result in some unanswerable questions.

"So, how'd she do?" Philip asked and Tiberius looked at Sarah, his sub-harmonics warning her before asking for her permission. She let her own sound with resignation before giving it. She didn't really care what they thought of her but she didn't like being reminded of her failings.

"38%." He told them and they all gave her sympathetic looks, causing her sub-harmonics to rile up with defiance, despite the fact that only Tiberius could hear them.

"It's fine. Everyone is bad at something." She told them, a little warning in her voice telling them not to pity her.

"It's fine, Blue. Your scores average at over seventy so you've passed and it's high enough to keep the Executor off your back." He told her and she nodded, thankful for small mercies.

"Okay, so can we get some lunch before we do the other tests? I'm starving." She told them, hoping change the subject.

"Sounds good." He said and she turned to Philip and Tiala.

"You guys in?" She asked and they nodded.

"Lunch with Smiles and the Rookie? Sounds good." Philip said and Tiala and Sarah both rolled their eyes at him as they headed off.

* * *

After lunch they headed to the training room to test her hand-to-hand skills.

"So, think you can take me, Red?" She said and he raised a brow-plate.

"There is no way you're fighting me. The last thing we need is to spend the rest of the afternoon in the med-clinic if I catch you with a talon or something. You'll be fighting Tiala." Every instinct Sarah had was telling her to smack him as hard as she could. She knew that she would have no problem taking him down. But a normal, human eighteen year old girl would struggle with an almost full-grown turian. So she had to play nice.

But she didn't have to like it.

"You might want to get changed." Tiala observed and Sarah realized that she couldn't really fight her in jeans and a jacket, even if it was what she would normally wear in the field. She nodded before heading to the locker room to change into her workout clothes.

Sarah returned in joggers and a t-shirt and headed towards the sound system on the wall. She synced it up to her visor and Tiberius's sub-harmonics trilled in question.

"Look, if we're going to fight then we're going to do it to a badass soundtrack." She told him and he shrugged, allowing it as the room flooded with music. His sub-harmonics voiced question again and she shook her head.

"Old Earth music. Blame my gran-gran." She told him as she and Tiala got ready to fight.

"_Revvin' up your engine,_

_Listen to her howlin' roar,_

_Metal under tension,_

_Beggin' you to touch and go,_

_Highway to the danger zone,_

_Ride into the danger zone,_

_Headin' into twilight,_

_Spreadin' out her wings tonight,_

_She got you jumpin' off the track,_

_And shovin' into overdrive,_

_Highway to the danger zone,_

_I'll take you,_ _Ridin' into the danger zone_."

"You know, it occurs to me that we don't hang around enough." Philip said and Tiberius let his sub-harmonics ring with question despite the fact that the human couldn't hear them. "I mean, if you always have great ideas like this then I may have underestimated you." He said and Tiberius fixed him with a glare.

"I chose Tiala to test her skills because she's an expert at hand-to-hand." He said and Philip frowned.

"She is?" He asked and Tiberius raised a brow plate.

"Yeah. It's the only combat area where she excels. Shouldn't you know this?" He asked and Philip kept frowning.

"She told me that she didn't have the combat skills to qualify for anything other than lab work. She said that's why she's not taking patrol jobs." Tiberius shook his head at that, his gaze remaining on Sarah and Tiala as Sarah blocked all the asari's attempts to hit her.

"No, she's been offered other positions numerous times. She keeps on turning them down for work at HQ. I think she just prefers tech jobs." He said and Philip frowned.

"How do you know all of this, anyway? You two aren't super friendly or anything." He observed and Tiberius shrugged.

"It's all in her file." He said simply as he kept watching the match, noting the different techniques Sarah used.

"How did you see her file?" He asked and Tiberius shrugged once again.

"The Executor tried to pair me up with her once." He explained and Philip gave him a questioning look.

"Can I ask you something?" He asked and Tiberius nodded, still keeping track of the match in front of them.

"Why Rookie? You could be paired with anyone in this place, hell you could be partnered with someone older and get _real_ work if you wanted, and you've turned them all down. Why her?" He asked and Tiberius shrugged.

"No use in a partner who can't keep up with my skills." He said but Philip gave him a look that said 'I'm not buying it'.

"I would have thought she would annoy the hell out of you after what happened yesterday." He said and Tiberius nodded.

"She does. But at least I don't have to worry about her skills in the field." He said as Sarah quickly took down Tiala and finished the match. They had appeared to be evenly matched right up until the last minute when Tiala had grabbed Sarah and caught her off-guard. After that Sarah had narrowed her eyes before her ability seemed to increase ten-fold as she took down a shocked Tiala in under a minute.

Tiberius quickly reviewed all of the techniques he had just seen her use; turian military hand-to-hand, asari martial arts (specifically moves favored by Justicars), a couple of moves that he had only ever seen Krogan use, and a few that he wasn't sure about given his unfamiliarity with them but that resembled moves used by Alliance N7 operatives...

"Damn, Sarah. You got me with your nails there. They're like fucking talons..." Tiala said, tending to a fairly deep scratch wound on her arm, pulling Sarah from her thoughts. She hadn't been careful enough. The stress of moving away from home and dealing with a new job in an unfamiliar place had started to make her a little unwell. She coped with stress the same way all turians did; _badly_. Once she got that stressed it would take some form of physical release to stop herself from getting sick, like sparring.

She often found it funny that although she looked more human than turian, she was still, physiologically speaking, more like a turian. So, she had been too busy enjoying a good fight against a competent opponent, surprising for such a small asari, and had let her normal act slip. She just hoped that no one noticed.

"Are you okay?" Tiala asked at her lack of response, causing Sarah to mentally shake herself.

"Yeah. Sorry about that I guess I really need to cut them huh?" She said as Tiala applied some medi-gel. As she spoke Tiberius and Philip approached.

"You okay, Blue?" Tiberius asked her an she realized that she still must look a little shell-shocked.

"Yeah, fine. So, what's next?" She asked and he consulted his datapad.

"We need to test your... sword skills?" He asked and she shrugged.

"Yeah, swords are cool." She explained and his sub-harmonics chimed with a little disbelief. Philip simply nodded in agreement.

"Yeah! Commander Shepard has a sword." He told them, causing Tiala to raise an eyebrow.

"I've read enough of your comics to know that she doesn't." She said but he shook his head.

"Not in the comics but she does in real life. She used them against husks and Cerberus Phantoms during the Reaper war. She had one in those kids cartoon vids, remember?" He asked and she shook her head.

"No. That was what, ten/fifteen years ago? I wasn't a kid." She reminded him and he rolled his eyes.

"Right, asari lifespan. I forgot." He said as he turned to Sarah. "You remember Normandy Spectres, right Rookie?" He asked and she shook her head.

"No, my parents never liked me watching those shows." She explained, careful not to mention _why_ they didn't like them, and he looked at her incredulously.

"Neither did mine but I still watched them." He told her and she shrugged as he turned to Tiberius. "Come on, Smiley. You watched it, right?" He asked and the turian simply shrugged.

"Not really. I've seen a couple of episodes but not a lot." He said and Philip shook his head as everyone else rolled their eyes at him.

"After that we'll test your biotic field strength." Tiberius continued and Sarah froze.

"What part of 'I no longer have my biotics' do you not understand?" She asked and he frowned.

"The part where you used your biotics perfectly yesterday." He said and she sighed, shaking her head.

"I don't... I don't have control over them anymore. I don't know why they activated yesterday but I can't do it on command." She admitted, her gaze lowering from his. She sounded tired and his sub-harmonics trilled with reassurance.

"Look, just try, okay? If nothing happens then we'll just call it void." He said and she sighed before nodding. _It couldn't hurt to try_, she figured.

* * *

After they had tested her biotic field strength (as she had predicted, nothing had happened. She wondered if her control of them would ever return or if she would just gradually lose all biotic ability over time...) and her sword skills (she had ended up having to test those skills against a VI) they moved onto weapons proficiency.

Sarah was careful to keep her scores below her ability, knowing that it was better for people to underestimate her. Especially for her cover. It was a trick she had learned from her mother and it had kept her out of trouble more times than she could count. Although she was still fuming over Tiberius's comment during the hand-to-hand test. She knew that he hadn't meant anything by it, but that somehow made it worse.

However, despite her attempts to hide her ability, she still aced every exam and broke all of the records for new recruits. Not really surprising given that most had never had military training before, but she still wondered if she was subconsciously trying to make up for her lack of biotics...

For the most part it was just her and Red but Philip often wandered over, avoiding his work at the front desk, and Tiala dropped by a few times since she was currently working in data analysis. Sarah was wondering why Tiala would stick herself with such a boring task since she could have her pick of assignments but Tiberius explained that wherever Philip went, Tiala went, and vice versa so she had taken a job that kept her at HQ. It made Sarah wonder why they weren't dating...

They weren't both present until she was about to start with the sniper rifle. By this point she was struggling to not show off and prove herself to Red. Not that she wasn't doing brilliantly, but she wasn't _showing off_.

"Just sniper left?" Tiala asked and Sarah nodded.

"Good luck with that, Rookie. _No one_ beats Smiley's sniper score." He said and Sarah frowned a little before checking the leader-board. She looked up at Tiberius who just shrugged, his sub-harmonics quiet and nonchalant. She let hers trill back to tell him that she didn't care.

Which she didn't.

Mostly.

But she couldn't help but think of how satisfying it would be to best his score. She knew that she shouldn't, that she needed to keep a low profile, but she knew that she could beat him and, although she often took deliberate measures to have people underestimate her, when he did it she couldn't help but want to prove him wrong.

She smiled as she walked into the firing range and lined up her rifle. Thankfully, she had inherited her father's sniping ability. Her mum with a sniper rifle was one of the funniest things she had ever seen.

She walked out several minutes later and checked the leaderboard.

She had come in second.

_Huh._ She thought to herself. She didn't really care but she was impressed. And a little annoyed at how arrogant she had acted. Had she not learned her lesson?

"Don't worry, Rookie. No one beats Red's score." Philip told her and she shrugged.

"Apparently. Its all good. If anything it makes me feel better having him on my six." She said and Tiberius raised a brow plate.

"Wait, _I'm_ on _your_ six?" He asked and she shrugged.

"Yeah. And I'm on yours. Team, remember?" She told him and he nodded. This might take some getting used to...

"So, are you done now?" Philip asked and she turned to Tiberius.

"Yeah, that's it." He said, shrugging, as Philip grinned enthusiastically.

"Just in time. Tiala and I are done for the day so we're headed to the bakery. You in?" He asked and Sarah nodded.

"Yeah. What about you Red? You coming?" She asked and he sighed in response.

"I... Yeah, sure." He was going to use his work as an excuse to get out of going but had decided against it. If he was going to work with Sarah, he might as well try to be her friend.

* * *

"Geez, I thought Smiley only called you blue because of your hair." Philip said, indicating to Sarah's hands. She immediately pulled her sleeves down over them, shrugging and trying to look nonchalant. Her hybrid biology was a curse as often as it was a blessing.

She had quad DNA strands like a prothean which allowed her DNA to double up. Meaning that she was both levo and dextro and , subsequently, could process both, but beyond that her traits had to be either turian or human.

So, she had a mostly human bone structure, a mostly turian muscle structure, human fingers and turian eyes. The main exception being her blood. Blue and red. Which gave her purple blood.

Thankfully her skin was thick and dark enough that it wasn't too noticeable in most places. But occasionally her body would produce too many blue blood cells for whatever reason and it became a bit more evident.

"Bad circulation." She explained and Philip nodded.

"So, did you ace the tests enough for any special training?" He asked and Sarah shrugged.

"Don't think so. I don't think I'd want any, anyway." She said and he frowned.

"Why not? It's about the only interesting thing to do in your first couple of years on the job. They don't give you anything more exciting than basic patrol work until they think you have enough experience." He said and Sarah shrugged again.

"I _like_ patrolling." She lied. She didn't mind it, just as long as the wards weren't too crowded. Philip shrugged.

"We don't patrol often, anyway." Tiberius told her and she raised an eyebrow.

"So, what do we do?" She asked and Tiala leaned forward a little.

"Wait, are you pulling Sarah into your project?" She asked and he rolled his eyes at her before turning to Sarah.

"I noticed some... irregularities in the shipping records. Specifically for tech. I suspect that _someone_ is shipping restricted medical tech through the Citadel. But I still don't know who or why..." He said and Sarah grinned in response.

"Sounds like my kind of puzzle." She said, excited at the idea of the challenge. Tiberius smiled back at her.

"I was hoping you would say that." He said but Philip rolled his eyes.

"So, you'd rather chase illegal tech with Smiley than get spec ops training?" He asked, incredulously and she nodded.

"Yep." She said and Tiberius's sub-harmonics trilled in agreement.

"I'm with Blue on this one." Tiberius said and Philip scowled at him.

"Well, that's because you're crazy." He said before turning to Sarah. "This idiot turned down _Spectre training_." He said and Sarah raised her eyebrows, her sub-harmonics trilling with question.

"Come on guys, you know he doesn't like to talk about it." Tiala said which earned her a glare from Tiberius before he sighed.

"Being a Spectre is dangerous." He said simply and Philip frowned at that.

"It's not that bad. I mean, it's no worse than the military or anything." He reasoned but Tiberius shook his head at that.

"You don't know anything beyond those comics and cartoons you're so obsessed with. The Normandy is the exception, not the rule. Actually, that's not true. Commander Shepard died years back. She was just lucky enough to be worth bringing back." He said and Philip shook his head in disbelief. "Spectres die. It's pretty much their job description." He said. Sarah figured the other two couldn't hear the bitterness in his sub-harmonics but she left it alone, noting it but not asking.

"He's right." Sarah said quietly, earning her confused looks from Tiala and Philip but a grateful one from Tiberius. It was strange for her to think about how close to death her parents had come on so many different occasions, the story of violence told across their skin with scars.

Sarah would always appreciate living in peacetime. She could see the horror left by the Reaper war in the faces of those closest to her and she had no wish to experience it for herself. But even in peacetime her parents often get a call from either the Council or the Alliance or the Hierarchy before leaving the ship only to return bloody and disheveled. Sarah knew full well that, while she had seen action, her parents shielded her from the nastier aspects of their jobs. They had made sure that she had never been pushed anywhere close to the limit of her abilities or seen the sorts of horrors that would leave her with nightmares.

Of course, they couldn't protect her from the things they didn't know about...

"Didn't you say you lived on a ship in the Terminus, Sarah? Isn't that dangerous?" Tiala asked and Sarah shrugged.

"I guess." She said and Tiala frowned a little.

"I never understood spacer kids. I mean, isn't it better to live on a colony somewhere? Especially when growing up." She said and Sarah shrugged once more.

"Yeah, I guess, but colonial life is just as dangerous. My mum lost most of her family to batarian slavers when she was a teenager. She lived on ships with my grandparents so they were fine but her aunt and cousins all died. Plus, it's not that weird. I stayed ground-side with family friends for months at a time." She reasoned and Tiala nodded.

"Fair enough." She said before Tiberius spoke up.

"I might not want to be a Spectre but if you took those tests properly you could probably qualify, Blue." He told her and she sighed. She would be lying if she said that she had never considered it before. But she didn't know what she wanted. She had given up on ideas of following in her parents footsteps in order to focus on her studies but she had returned to that path when she had finally seen the horrors for herself. Which had lead her to C-Sec.

She was sure that Spectre training would only lead her back to the Normandy.

"Nah. C-Sec's too much fun." She said and Philip rolled his eyes.

"Sure, if you like paperwork." He said, causing Sarah to shake her head, smiling. She was happy right where she was. At least for now.


	4. Chapter Four - Caught Out

**AN: Thanks to everyone who has favourited, followed and reviewed and special thanks to my beta Spyke1985.**

**Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Four - Caught Out**

"Guess who's been here a full week?" Philip asked, as he approached Sarah's desk. She smiled a little at that, although it didn't reach her eyes. She hadn't thought that she would last so long. She had hoped but... She had little faith in her ability to cope.

_I guess I was wrong..._ She thought to herself as she discarded her datapad.

"Is it me?" She asked as Tiala frowned at the pad she had just put down.

"I can't believe how much you've gotten into Tiberius's project." She said and Sarah shrugged.

"I like puzzles." She said and Tiala nodded, understanding.

"Never mind that, Tia. We're taking you out drinking tonight." Philip said and Sarah sighed.

"You mean at a club?" She asked, relieved beyond measure that they couldn't hear the panic in her sub-harmonics at the very thought, and he nodded.

"Yeah. Purgatory's great. You in?" He asked and she felt blood pour into her mouth as she bit her cheek. She didn't even notice it.

_A club. That means people. Lots of people. Loud music and... Lots of people. I can do this! I think..._

_Wait, why am I thinking about going?_

_I could just say no._

_Or, would that make me a coward?_

_What do I care?_

"Can't we just drink in?" She asked, figuring it was worth a shot. Philip just shook his head.

"No, come on! We have to celebrate properly!" He told her and she nodded, mutely.

"Sorry, but my aunts need my help with the shop's budget tonight. Neither of them are good with numbers." She lied, hoping they bought it.

"Fine." Philip said, looking a little crestfallen. Sarah wasn't bothered.

"So, seriously, what is with the paperwork?" Tiala asked again and Sarah shrugged. "You've been at your desk for most of the week. Surely there are some interesting leads to chase down?" She observed and Sarah shrugged again.

"I don't know. This is Red's show. I think he's reluctant to take me out in case I mess up like I did the first day." She omitted the part about her being glad for it. She didn't know if she could cope with patrolling the wards every day. Maybe the Presidium, or some of the more spacious wards like the one they had gone to on her first day but... the day after testing they had been patrolling one of the more... overpopulated wards and she had struggled to keep her calm. _But I did manage it_ she told herself, the praise ringing a little hollow.

"Yeah, if you change your mind about tonight, Smiley isn't invited. Not that I don't want him to come along but... He doesn't do drinking out. I'm not even sure he drinks." Philip said and Sarah nodded mutely. She had no intention of going so it was no problem.

* * *

Sarah had stayed late at the office to help Red finish up decoding the intel they had found earlier in the week. By the time she arrived at the bakery, it was almost closing time.

"Hey, Sarah." Her Aunt Kara said as Sarah sat at the counter.

"Hey." She replied as she pulled her datapad from her bag, planning on finishing up the data segment she had started just before leaving the office.

"So, Tiala and Philip stopped by earlier." Kara told her and Sarah frowned a little. She could see where this was going...

"And?" She asked, her tone hard, causing her aunt to raise an eyebrow.

"They told me that you told them that you were too busy helping me to go out tonight." She said, causing Sarah to sigh.

"Yes. And?" She said and her aunt fixed her with a glare.

"And I told them that you would meet them there." She said, causing Sarah to sigh once more.

"Come on, Aunt Kara. I've got a headache..." She groaned but her aunt just shook her head.

"Sarah, you have to do _something_ outside of work. I'm sure Solana appreciates your dedication but honestly, I've never seen such a serious eighteen year old. Go out with your friends. You deserve a break." She said and Sarah panicked a little. She was sure that once she left the bakery, she would have the perfect excuse. But she didn't have it now. She could just lie and tell her aunt that she was going but she knew that she would be caught out fairly quickly... She really had no choice.

"_Fine_..." She grumbled before getting changed and heading out.

* * *

Sarah considered retreating as the door of the lift opened. No, that wasn't right. She had been considering retreating every few seconds since she left the bakery. She knew that she had tipped off her aunts but she didn't think that they knew. No one knew. How could they? It wasn't a common occurrence given the fact that she lived aboard the Normandy which barely had a skeleton crew most of the time. But still it happened.

_No, this is never going to work._

_Yes it will, you'll be fine._

_That's what I said last time._

_You just need to try harder._

_Can I ever cope? Is it a 'try harder' thing?_

_Yes, it is. Everything is..._

_No, this is never going to work._

Her mind looped through the arguments over and over again as she walked up to the entrance. The doors opened and the loud music immediately hit her queasy stomach. But she pushed through it. It wasn't too bad and she was only in a mild panic as she reached the bar where Tia and Philip were already.

"Hey!" Philip said to her, calling her over. She allowed her mind to be momentarily distracted by his tight fitting t-shirt. She hadn't really realized how... _toned_ he was.

_And there's the turian reaction to stress._ She told herself as she approached the bar, her mind momentarily wondering where her _friend_ was. He would be on his pilgrimage soon and she wondered if he would visit her. The distraction only lasted a second before she noticed her hand shaking a little and she quickly indicated that the bartender should give her whatever Tiala was having. She could deal with staying at the bar as long as it didn't get more crowded and she had some alcohol to hand.

She hoped...

"So, what do you think?" Tiala asked her and she nodded.

"It's good. I like it here." She lied and was once again glad that they couldn't hear her sub-harmonics as they trilled with nerves and mild panic. The turian bartender looked at her strangely as he passed her a drink but didn't say anything. She downed the drink as fast as she could.

"See? I told you it would be good here." Philip said and she nodded again, deciding it was better to stay as quiet as possible.

"I'm not a big fan." Tiala admitted and Philip rolled his eyes.

"But it's better than staying at home, Tia." He told her and she shrugged.

"I guess." She replied, shrugging.

_One_

_Two_

_Three_

_Four_

_Five_

_Uno_

_Dos_

_Tres_

_Cuatro_

_Cinco_

_Ichi_

_Ni_

_San_

_Shi_

_Go_

"Hey, Sarah, you okay?" Tiala asked her and Sarah smiled as brightly as she could, nodding.

"Yeah, sorry, I guess I spaced out for a moment there, huh?" She said and Tiala gave her a slightly worried look before Philip just shook his head.

"She's just bored, Tia. Come on, Sarah. Let's dance." She froze at that but he didn't realize it as he grabbed her arm and pulled her towards the dance floor. She would have fought him off if she had any control over her body. She could feel her heart thudding in her chest and she felt as if every eye in the room was on her as he dragged her to the dance floor.

She couldn't think past the nausea in her stomach and as soon as he let go of her hand she bolted as fast as she could.

She left the nightclub and ran.

She just kept running, afraid to stop or turn back. Eventually she came to a balcony and she realized that she was on one of the upper levels. She was glad of her foresight to wear jeans instead of a skirt as she didn't stop running. Rather she leapt from the side of the balcony to a nearby rooftop and kept going. She kept running until she hit something solid.

"Hey! What are you- Blue?" She didn't have time to realize that she recognized the voice as the second she stopped running, she puked up her insides.

She eventually stopped vomiting but she was still shaking uncontrollably as she leaned her head against the wall, cursing herself for not listening to her better judgment. She should have come up with some excuse, any excuse, to not show up. She needed to know her limits, damn it. The shaking lessened a little as she felt a taloned hand on her back, warm and comforting.

"Blue, are you okay?" She almost sobbed at that. Of all the people who had to see her like this, it had to be Red. The last thing she needed was for him to decide that she couldn't do her job properly.

_Could she?_ She asked herself, uncertain. She hated this. Feeling weak. She'd tried to push through it, to return to the days before she had felt like this. But it hadn't been possible. And she hated herself for it.

"I... I'm fine. Too much to drink..." She tried to explain it away but he shook his head.

"If you don't want to tell me, that's fine, Blue. You don't have to lie." He told her, his sub-harmonics trilling with reassurance and she turned around, collapsing against the wall before sliding down it, a reasonable distance from her puke. Tiberius crouched down next to her and she felt tears falling down her face. Of all of the human traits she could have inherited, crying just had to be one of them. Also, vomiting. She had never had a strong stomach and when she panicked like that... it was the first thing to go.

"I- I'm sorry." She managed and he shook his head.

"You don't have to apologize." He told her, reassuring her despite his confusion, and she shook her head.

"Damn it. I'm a first class moron." She managed, steadying her breathing as she spoke. She was tempted to hum or sing under her breath to help regulate her breathing back to normal but she figured that Tiberius already thought she was a deranged lunatic.

"Let me guess, you were at a club?" He asked and she nodded.

"Purgatory. Went there with Philip and Tia." She admitted and he nodded.

"You're not good with crowds, are you?" He asked simply, his sub-harmonics trilling with understanding instead of judgment. Her body racked with a silent sob as she nodded.

"How-?" She managed as he stopped crouching and sat down next to her.

"When we patrolling the wards you were... Agitated. The more crowded the ward became, the more your eyes flickered to the exits and escape routes and you did that thing where you twist your hands together." He said and she shook her head, cursing herself for being so easy to read.

"I... I used to be okay." She admitted. She had never really talked about it to anyone. She suspected that Hilary had known but she had simply kept quiet and backed up any lame excuse Sarah used to get out of the stressful situations.

"What happened?" He asked her softly and she brought her knees up to her chest and held them tight.

"I've never really had friends. Not outside of my family, anyway. Except, there was this one guy on Earth. He worked in my gran-gran's bakery and he didn't judge me when I wore my colony marks. We started hanging out more outside of work and he didn't care about how everyone ridiculed him for it. We were supposed to meet at a club one night, since we both looked old enough to get in. It was just supposed to be harmless fun." She felt empty as she began to tell the story that had been hers alone for so long. Her body seemed to have ran out of tears and she suddenly felt all dried up.

"You used to wear your markings even on Earth?" He asked and she nodded.

"Yeah. I wasn't really bothered about people knowing who I was. I didn't even think..." She trailed off before falling into silence, trying to arrange the story in her head. Tiberius waited patiently and she was grateful.

"Anyway, I got in without any problems but he wasn't there. I decided to stay and wait for him. I reckoned I would be safe at the bar." She said, unsure of how she was going to continue on so she fell back into silence.

"You were wrong?" He asked gently and she nodded.

"Yep. First time I ever fucked up. I... They had got to him first. That was why he never showed... I never thought..." She went silent for a few more moments and he didn't prompt her, instead letting her collect her thoughts.

"My parents had always shielded me from any... Repercussions of their relationship. We lived on a ship where no one could find us so I grew up thinking what I had was normal. It didn't even occur to me that I shouldn't wear my markings out in public, you know?" She paused again before continuing and Tiberius placed his hand on hers. She felt herself calm instantly at the touch.

"It was stupid of me. Some Terra Firma assholes had seen us together and had decided to teach both of us a lesson... They got to him outside... Then they came for me..." She trailed off and Tiberius' sub-harmonics filled with anger on her behalf.

"How old were you?" He asked and she tensed up for a moment before answering.

"I had just turned fifteen. They didn't know that, though. I easily looked eighteen/nineteen. Don't... I mean they didn't... They beat me up, that was it. I... I managed to hold them off long enough to not... but I had never really had any interest in fighting or combat. It was something I was taught just in case, never something I actively learned. There were too many of them and if Mordin hadn't... If he hadn't shown up when he had, I don't want to think about what would have happened." Tiberius' hand squeezed her arm and she smiled weakly at him.

"Mordin? That's a salarian name, right?" He asked and she nodded.

"Yeah, but he's a krogan. It's a long story but he's a friend of mine. I... began to feel uneasy not long before they got to me and I called him... He got to me just in time. I was... I reckon I was about as close to death as you can get but I heal quickly so I was mostly fine within a few days. My friend... Harry... He wasn't so lucky..." She trailed off and once again buried her head in her arms at the memories.

"What happened to him?" Tiberius asked and she fought to hold back tears. But she was losing.

"He... He was in a coma. For over two years. I... No one really knew that we were close. And no one but Mordin knew what really went on that night but you know krogan. We won so he didn't think anything of it. But ever since that night... After that I trained as hard as I could. I decided that I would never be helpless like that again. That's probably the only reason I can even leave the No- the ship." She admitted and he frowned a little.

"Was that really the only reason you trained so hard?" He asked and she cringed. Was she really so easy to read? Although, she noted the lack of accusation in his voice. Simply understanding.

"No. I figured those bastards owed me. I figured Harry deserved vengeance and I deserved revenge for what they turned me into..." She trailed off, her eyes hard with cold anger.

"What happened?" He asked and she shrugged, her voice hard instead of tear-filled.

"I had no idea what I would actually do to them. Kill them, maybe. But that seemed too kind. I figured that I might just beat them senseless like they had done to Harry... As time went on, I became less... The anger started to fade and I wondered if I should just leave things be. But then it wasn't about that. It became about sending a message that I wasn't weak. I thought that if I had my revenge, I might be able to go back to the old me. Before all this..." She trailed off, gesturing to herself.

"So, what did you do?" He asked and she laughed hollowly.

"Nothing. The next time we docked on Earth, I hunted them down. But mid-way through my search I found them on the news. They had been shot dead in a gang-related shootout just a few hours earlier... I had missed my chance for revenge and I felt... hollow. Empty. I was still a wreck and unable to deal with crowds but without the anger... that was all I had. Everything else had been lost over the years..." She finished and he nodded, understanding.

"Is that when you lost control of your biotics?" He asked and she nodded.

"Yeah. They always tell you that your biotics are linked to your emotions. I always figured it was a warning that if you got too angry they would overload. I never thought it could go the other way. I can't generate a stable field most of the time and I can't figure out why I manage it when I do..." She trailed off, flicking her wrist as he'd seen her do many times since they had met. As if she expected her biotics to magically reappear for no reason.

"What happened to your friend?" He asked, deciding to change the subject, and she sighed.

"He woke up a little while ago. I... I haven't seen him. I _can't_. He probably hates me..." She trailed off and Tiberius shook his head.

"You don't know that." He reasoned and she smiled at him weakly.

"Thanks Red, but I don't think I could face it... I let him down. He paid for my mistake and I don't think I could... I know it's cowardly and that I should face him and apologize, but I can't. I'm not... I'm not ready..." She said and he nodded in understanding before changing the topic.

"So, how did you manage living on a ship? Wasn't it crowded?" He asked and she shook her head.

"Not really. We barely have a skeleton crew most of the time. But take me off the ship and every time things get too crowded I expect them to turn on me. That's what happened, you know... As soon as a couple of guys started everyone just joined in instead of helping me..." She swallowed and remained silent for a few moments before Tiberius spoke again.

"It's okay, Blue." He said reassuringly before he frowned a little. "But, if you don't like crowds then why on Palaven did you move to the Citadel?" He asked and she laughed hollowly.

"It was... a poor choice, probably. But no one knows about this. I think Hilary figured it out but she's never asked. I... I had to prove that I am not weak, I'm-" She cut off halfway through her usual self pep-talk. As much as she trusted Tiberius, for whatever reason, with her _issues_ she still couldn't trust him with her identity. "I had to prove that this isn't me. I'm... I was pretty sick as a kid. Never out of the medbay. Hell, I only started using a sniper rifle because it was one of the few things I could actually manage. I didn't really know any different when I was younger but the older I got... I knew that I either grew out of it or it killed me.

That kind of sickness can end up defining you, so when I hit my teens and started to get better... I got stupid. Suddenly I was free and I was stupid about it and Harry paid the price. So, I didn't tell anyone and I decided to move to the Citadel to prove that I could. To prove that this doesn't own me. And to get that freedom back, I guess..." She told him and he nodded, understandingly.

"I get that." He said and she nodded, wiping away the tears that had collected along the bottom of her visor.

"Thanks. For understanding." She said and he nodded.

"Everybody has something." He said simply and she nodded. "Your parents don't know?" He asked and she shook her head, snorting a little.

"I love my parents but they blame themselves for everything. I swear to the spirits, if anyone mentions Omega it turns into a game of 'who was to blame'. I... I won't have them blame themselves for my screw up. My mum is so damn happy that I don't have her social anxiety issues. This is my fault, my problem." She said resolutely and he nodded. "Would you tell your parents?" She asked, a little quietly. She had never had anyone to talk to about this, no one to get a second opinion from.

"I... I don't know." He admitted. "I never knew my dad and my mom is... I guess I wouldn't want to hurt her." He said and Sarah nodded.

"Is that your 'something'?" She asked and he nodded, sighing a little.

"Yeah." He said and they lapsed into comfortable silence for a few moments before she frowned.

"So, what were you doing up here?" She asked and he shrugged.

"This is my apartment building. I often come up here. I prefer the quiet." He said and she nodded.

"Yeah. It's a good spot." She said as she watched the traffic overhead. She felt as if she could see most of the ward from where she was sitting.

"I think it's better with you here." He admitted sheepishly and she smiled.

"You don't think I'm pathetic?" She asked jokingly but her sub-harmonics showed that she was honestly frightened of his response.

"No, I don't." He said simply and she smiled genuinely for the first time since Philip had suggested they go out.

"Thanks, Red."

"No problem, Blue."


	5. Chapter Five - Red Handed

**AN: Thanks to everyone who has favourited, followed and reviewed and special thanks to my beta Spyke1985.**

**Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Five - Red Handed**

Sarah leant over her desk, furiously scribbling away at the paper map of the Citadel in front of her. She could almost see it... if she could just-

"I still don't understand why you insist on using that outdated device." Tiberius said, indicating to her pen. She frowned a little as he pulled her out of her daze, but then smiled as she leant back in her chair, shaking her head. She figured that she needed a break anyway.

"Computers don't like me. So, I don't use them." She told him simply and he raised a browplate, humor filling his sub-harmonics.

"I'm sure that that's not true." He said and she shrugged, still smiling. Over the past two weeks they had settled into a steady routine and they were working well together. He had caught her smiling more than once and, perhaps more surprisingly, he had caught himself smiling too.

She had apologized to Philip and Tiala the day after the nightclub incident and they had accepted her story about having too much to drink, although he suspected that the asari was onto her by the look she had given the human female. Although, since then Sarah and Tiala had seemed to be getting on quite well and Tiberius figured they were becoming fast friends.

So, whenever either of them had a spare few moments, Philip and Tiala often found their way to Sarah and Tiberius's desks. Something neither of them were too thrilled about, since it distracted them from their work, but Sarah had to admit that Hilary had been right. So, they all had lunch together and Sarah met up with them at the bakery after work and then, after closing, she would climb out of her window and make her way to the roof, where Tiberius would be waiting for her. Their relationship was a strange one, all cold and professional at work but when they met at night they were slowly turning into close friends.

Tiberius let his mind wander to the night after the incident at Purgatory when he had been minding his own business back up on the rooftop...

"_Hey." A soft voice came from behind him, sub-harmonics trilling with uncertainty. He turned to see Sarah standing sheepishly behind him and he let his sub-harmonics trill a little with surprise._

"_Hey." He replied, equally uncertain and she smiled weakly at him. She hadn't said much to him at work that day, remaining cool and professional. As if the night before had never happened. And, yet, here she was._

"_I just wanted to... I wanted to thank you. For not telling anyone about last night..." She mumbled, running her hand through her hair._

"_It wasn't my secret to tell." He replied simply and she smiled at him, genuinely and warmly._

"_I... Spirits, I act like a complete bitch and end up with a friend like you. How did that happen?" She joked, her sub-harmonics filled with self-deprecation as she twisted her plait in her hands._

"_To be fair, I don't deserve all of this credit. It was Philip and Tia who asked you to hang out with them in the first place. They care about you. We all do." He said and she frowned._

"_But why?" She asked, still sounding unsure as she sat down beside him._

"_Don't know." He said honestly, shrugging. She rolled her eyes at that._

"_Well, that's a great help." She said sarcastically and he shook his head._

"_Those two have been bugging me since I started at the Academy. Well, Tia has, at least. I still have no idea why." He told her and she smiled again, her hands moving to twist her plait once more._

"_So, why do you care?" She asked, her voice almost too quiet for him to hear._

"_I... I'm not sure. I like working with you, I guess. You don't... You don't treat my being quiet as something that you need to fix." He said and she smiled softly._

"_Yeah, I guess that's why I didn't push you away last night. You seem to understand me. Better than anyone else, at least." He shook his head at that._

"_I think you're just not giving other people enough of a chance." He said and she shrugged._

"_In my experience, people are bastards. Or worse, idiots. I have the patience for neither." She told him, her voice neutral and detached. As if she were telling him that two plus two equaled four._

"_Maybe you just haven't met the right people." He suggested and she smiled a little._

"_Maybe…"_

Every night since then she had shown up when he was out. In the office they were still professional (although she had lost some of her coldness) but he was glad that she was finally treating him like a friend.

"Tiberius?" She asked, pulling him from his thoughts.

"Yeah?" He asked and she smiled.

"I said that I should tell you about the time I once managed to cut the power to half of the ship. You kind of zoned out there for a moment." She said and he shook his head.

"Sorry." He said and she raised an eyebrow.

"What were you thinking about so intently?" She asked and he clamped down on his sub-harmonics as he prepared to lie. There was no way on Palaven that his response was going to be 'you'.

"Just thinking about the latest intel..." He said, keeping his eyes focused on her scrawlings across the Citadel map as she leant forward and rested her head on her hands, regarding him closely.

"Liar." She said and his sub-harmonics almost trilled with frustration. He wasn't used to others being close enough to him to be able to get a good read. Tiala was the only person who had threatened to get that close in years, and saying that he wasn't happy about it would be an understatement. Although, he knew that she wasn't used to it either and he would get his revenge the next time the opportunity arose to catch _her_ out.

He was about to make a witty retort when she sat up rather suddenly.

"Tia?" She asked as the asari walked into the room. Sarah had surprised herself by becoming good friends with Tiala. The asari was very tech-minded but she was sweet. Although Sarah suspected that there was a past hidden behind that sweetness. But, as Tiberius had told her, 'everybody has something'.

So, Sarah figured that she knew Tiala well enough to say that the dark cloud over her head was extremely unusual.

"Hey, are you okay?" She asked when the asari didn't respond, careful to keep her tone calm and reassuring as she was all too aware of how abrasive she could seem if she wasn't mindful enough.

"Yeah... Just... Goddess, I really hate patrol jobs." She said, slipping down into Tiberius's chair.

"What happened?" Sarah asked and Tiala sighed.

"A woman got shot in one of the lower wards. We got the bastard that killed her, but she had a daughter with her... She didn't see what happened and I... I had to explain to this kid that her mother got her brains blown out and... And wasn't coming back..." Tiala leant back in the chair and Sarah noticed the tears threatening to fall from her eyes, suddenly very unsure of what to do. She'd never been the best at reassuring others but she gave Tiala her best look of understanding and hoped that it was enough. No one liked that part of the job.

Although, Tiala's gaze wasn't on Sarah but over her shoulder. The asari's expression softened.

"Goddess, I'm an idiot. Sorry, Tiberius." She said and Sarah spun around to see that the turian's skin had paled beneath his plates and his mandibles were pressed tightly against his face. Sarah let her sub-harmonics trill with concern as she pressed a hand to his arm. He pulled away from her touch and shook his head.

"It's nothing." He told Sarah, a little harshly. She simply nodded, not taking it personally. She knew all too well what it looked like when someone was running from their past. She figured that he would tell her when he was ready and she decided that she would try to be sensitive and not push the issue. Not that she was happy about it... "Tia, if anything _you're_ the one who's the most likely to be affected by this." He said, turning his attention to Tiala who frowned at him.

"I'm fine." She told him before sighing. "Or, at least, I will be..." She said, smiling weakly, before she left the room again, leaving Sarah more than a little confused.

* * *

The dark cloud had quickly spread from Tiala to everyone and had remained until they were ready to leave the office. It didn't help Sarah's mood when she felt a splitting headache begin to form. A sure sign that she would have nightmares that night. She was the first one in the locker room and she let her hand rest over the med-tube containing the sedatives.

She knew that she couldn't keep them at home. If either of her aunts found them, they would tell her parents. And she figured that there was nothing worse than sitting in front of her parents while they tried to be understanding and explain to her what she already knew all too well. That there was no guarantee that she was free and clear. That she shouldn't do anything that might increase the risk of her becoming sick again.

"Krogan sedatives? _Impressive_." She spun around and punched the owner of the voice. It took a few moments for her to realize that it was Philip.

"Hell, Rookie! You punch hard for a girl…" He said as he made sure that she hadn't broken anything, wiping the blood from his nose.

"What did I tell you about sneaking up on me?" She hissed threateningly. He held his free hand up in surrender.

"I know, I know, I didn't think. So, you're into the hard stuff, huh?" He asked, indicating to her locker. She froze and for a moment he thought that the phrase 'deer in the headlights' had never fit a sight so perfectly (Except, of course, for an _actual_ deer in headlights).

"I… They're not… I mean… They're not for me. Well, they are but… It's not what you think…" She floundered and he held up his hand once more.

"Hey, it's cool. You think you're the only one with 'medication' in their locker? Just don't get caught with it. Then they authorize a building-wide search of every locker and if _I_ get caught then it'll probably be the last straw." He said and she nodded. She checked the med-tube and sighed. There was only one dose left. She pocketed it and shut the locker as Tiala and Tiberius entered the room.

"You guys ready to go?" Tiala asked and they nodded. She frowned, looking at Philip. "What happened to you?" She asked and he shrugged.

"Nosebleed." He said Tiala nodded in acceptance, still unusually quiet. Philip winked at Sarah as soon as she turned her back and Sarah couldn't help but smile a little at his goofy attitude.

"You coming with?" She asked Tiberius. She asked him every day and every day he said no. But she still asked.

"No. I'm busy." He gave his usual reply.

"Okay. Well, I'll see you later?" She asked, as she always did, but to her surprise, he shook his head.

"No, sorry… There's something I have to do." He said, his sub-harmonics trilling with apology. At that moment Sarah realized just how much she had become used to their routine.

"It's fine." She told him, unsure of if it was true. "See you tomorrow, then."

"Yeah, see you." He said before leaving the locker room.

"Don't take it personally." Tiala told her and Sarah frowned a little at how easily the asari could read her. "He… Today reminded him of something he'd rather forget." Tiala said and Sarah nodded mutely. It was always the problem with being the new girl; old stories and shared experiences that she would never be a part of. She felt isolated and, for once, the feeling was not of her own making. She quickly came to the conclusion that she didn't like it.

"Way to be cryptic, Tia." Philip said, frowning at the asari, and Sarah smiled a little. Evidently, she wasn't the only one feeling excluded. "You can't just hint that Smiley has some deep, dark secret and then not tell us what it is." He said and Sarah couldn't help but agree a little.

"You are being kind of a tease, Tia." She pointed out and the asari fixed her with a glare that clearly said 'mind your own business'.

"I'm not spilling his secrets. Think of it this way: how would you feel if he had been telling me all about what you told him that night after you left Purgatory." She said slyly and Sarah froze momentarily. Had Red gone behind her back and talked about her with Tiala? She was quickly overwhelmed by a sense of betrayal but was brought out of it by Tiala's hand on her shoulder. She surprised herself by not harming the asari.

"I'm sorry. That was cruel of me. He hasn't said anything, despite my prodding. What I know, I pieced together myself." She told Sarah, who shook her head in response.

"Has anyone told you that you're a first class bitch, Tiala?" Sarah asked, only half-jokingly, and Tia smiled.

"Takes one to know one." She replied, linking her arm with Sarah's and grinning. Philip gave them both an incredulous look.

"_Women!"_ He exclaimed, causing them both to laugh a little. "I do not understand you _at all!"_ He said and Tiala's grin widened at him as she linked her other arm through his.

"Good. It's no fun if you can figure us out too easily."

* * *

A little while before the bakery closed, Tiala got up to leave.

"Sorry, I have to go. There's something I have to do." She said and Philip frowned at her.

"Okay, well then I'll come with." He said and she shook her head.

"No, it's alright. I'll see you tomorrow." She said and Philip's frown deepened but he didn't say anything.

"One sec." Sarah told him as she rushed off after Tiala.

"Hey, Tia!" She yelled as she ran up to her. "I was just wondering… how much do you know, exactly?" She asked and the asari shrugged.

"I have a degree in psychology. I know a panic attack when I see one." She said simply. "Add to that the fact that you and Tiberius have been much friendlier ever since, it didn't take much for me to realize that you must have ran into him." Sarah nodded at that.

"Yeah." She said and Tiala smiled at her.

"I haven't told anyone, if that's what you're worried about. And neither Philip nor Tiberius would be astute enough to figure it out without you telling them." She said and Sarah frowned a little.

"Actually, Red did figure it out." She admitted and Tiala folded her arms, frowning a little.

"Huh. Normally that boy is the _worst_ at reading others. And that's saying something, given that _Philip_ is my best friend." Sarah smiled a little at that.

"That explains the 'cop walk' then…" She said and Tiala smiled at her.

"Well, I have to go. See you tomorrow?" She asked and Sarah nodded.

"Yeah, sure." She said before heading back to the bakery, only to find Philip leaving.

"Hey, I was going for a walk. Wanna come with?" He asked.

"Yeah, sure."

* * *

They eventually came to a stop at one of the many artificial parks and sat on the grass. Sarah still found it disorienting that, despite the late hour, it was still bright out. Not that they were actually 'out'.

Sarah smiled as she spotted a dandelion clock amongst the flowers.

"Huh. You would have thought that they wouldn't have weeds on the Citadel." He said and she just kept smiling.

"Dandelions are clever, persistent little buggers." She said, picking the clock from amongst the sea of red and blue. "They are rather difficult to kill, especially without killing the surrounding plants, and they produce a ridiculous number of seeds, each with their own little parachute so that they can travel hundreds of metres from their parent plant." She said and Philip frowned.

"So?" He asked and she shrugged.

"_So_, we so frequently think of sapient life as the top of the evolutionary food chain but here we are, unable to rid ourselves of this little weed." She said, blowing the seeds from the clock so that they dispersed around them, and he shook his head.

"Fuck, Rookie. If you're going to get all philosophical on me then I am getting high." He said, pulling a joint from his jacket.

"Marijuana? Wow, that is _old school_. What's next? Opium? Perhaps while wearing a top hat…" She joked and he shook his head.

"Mock all you like, at least mine's not illegal. Want some?" He offered and she shook her head. She wasn't an idiot. There was no way that she was risking her health for…

_I am such an idiot…_ She thought to herself, shaking her head. Wasn't that exactly what she had been doing? She pulled the med-tube from her jacket and braced herself as she placed it under the heel of her boot and crushed it.

"Good riddance." She said and Philip grinned at her as she sat back down, cross legged, on the grass.

"Wow, I was honestly thinking that would take longer." He said and she fixed him with a glare.

"There's no way that you… Did you just _play me_?" She asked, refusing to believe that he was smart enough to pull it off.

"Why is everyone always shocked when I actually manage to do something right?" He asked and she smiled, shaking her head.

"You do know that this means that I'm not going to sleep tonight. And I _will_ be blaming you in the morning." She said and he nodded before giving her a sly smile.

"You know, there are _other_ ways to tire yourself out…" He said, his voice filled with suggestion.

"Keep dreaming." She told him and he shrugged.

"Can't blame a guy for trying." He said and she nodded. Truth was, she _was_ tempted but she didn't want things to get messy. Plus, while her figure looked human when she was carefully clothed, there was no way that she could hide the differences if she removed her clothing.

"Ask me when I'm drunk." She told him and he grinned.

"Alright, so, what's with you and dandelions?" He asked and she shrugged.

"I admire their ability to survive." She said and he frowned.

"There's more to life than survival." He pointed out.

"Maybe. But it's a good starting point." She said and he frowned.

"So, you're happy to just survive? Is this why you wouldn't do any special training?" He asked and she nodded.

"I guess. If you grow up with legends then you start to think that that's just how life is. But I never wanted that. I am small and I am happy with small." She told him and he frowned at her.

"You never wanted something more? To be extraordinary?" He asked, disbelieving.

"No. I want to survive. Nothing more, nothing less. I think I prefer to be nameless and unnoticed." She admitted and he nodded.

"Well, you're certainly that. I mean, I don't even _know_ your name. Does Smiley know it?" He asked and she shook her head.

"No. No one does." She admitted.

"Well, I suspect your aunts do." He joked. "But I don't know Kara's maiden name…"

"And you never will." She told him smugly and he sighed.

"Well, if you're not going to tell me that then you could at least tell me what went on that night at Purgatory. Given that Tiala and Smiley already know." He said and she sighed, nodding.

"I don't like crowds." She told him simply and he shook his head.

"Why didn't you just tell us?" He asked and she shrugged.

"I don't like admitting weakness." She told him and he sighed.

"I meant what I said, you know. On your first day? About you being one of us, I mean. I didn't just mean a trouble-maker. Tia and I, hell even Smiley, we all came here looking for fresh starts." He said.

"So, what are you running from?" She asked and he shrugged.

"Family." He said and she frowned a little.

"What, mummy didn't love you enough?" She joked weakly and he nodded, sighing.

"Yeah, pretty much. Let's just say, I would never bring a boyfriend home. And I would certainly never bring a girl like Tia home." He said and she frowned.

"You mean an alien?" She asked and he nodded.

"Yeah. Intolerant assholes." He muttered and she brought her knees up to her chest.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to…" She started but he shook his head.

"No, fair is fair. I asked about you." He reasoned and she frowned a little.

"So, how'd you get here?" She asked and he lay back in the grass, watching the fake clouds pass by.

"I saved up all my money and I was on the first transport off Earth as soon as I hit sixteen. I wasn't planning on staying here. Too expensive. I figured that Omega would be as good a place as any to end up. Or maybe one of the colonies out in the Terminus. But, the first day here I met Tia. I tried to chat her up and when she asked if I was here to apply for the C-Sec Academy, I told her yes. But then I figured; why the hell not? I had the minimum grades. So, I applied and by some miracle I got in. Of course, when I finally got around to asking Tia out, she turned me down. Plus, she skipped the Academy and went straight to the entrance exams." Sarah frowned a little at that.

"How come?" She asked and he shrugged.

"Don't know. She refuses to talk about her past before coming to the Citadel with anyone. Which I think is a little unfair, given that she knows everything about me. I think the only one that knows is Smiley and that's only because he got a look at her file." He said.

"I guess that explains their cryptic conversation before. I don't suppose you know what Red's secret is?" She asked jokingly and Philip shrugged.

"Not really. We didn't hang in the same circles at the Academy. He just seemed like any other guy, a little quiet maybe, but fine otherwise. And then one day he didn't. Rumour was that he got pulled out of class with some news from home. He left for a couple of weeks and when he came back he stopped talking with everyone. He didn't do anything but work. Still doesn't. I think you and Tia are the only friends he's made in the last three years…" Sarah suddenly felt bad about asking. If Red wanted to tell her then he would, she shouldn't be sneaking about in his private business.

"Philip?"

"Yeah?"

"Please don't tell the others about…" She trailed off, indicating to the broken med-tube, and he nodded.

"Hurts, doesn't it? Caring?" He asked and she laughed hollowly.

"Yeah." She said simply and he nodded.

"But I think it's who you are. You may not like it and you may not want to be that way, but you can't help but care about people. Hurt and all." He said and she regarded him for a moment, wondering how he had so much insight into her problems.

"You know, I was too damn empathic as a kid. It actually freaked people out a little. I wanted nothing more than to help people so that they were no longer in pain. And I was too willing to give everything I had in order to do it." Philip raised an eyebrow at that.

"Then you realized the consequences of not looking out for number one?" He asked and she sighed.

"Something like that." She admitted and he nodded.

"The world is too cruel to allow for that kind of naivety." He said and she frowned.

"Then why does it feel like a loss and not a gain?" She asked and he sighed.

"Because no one ever said the world had to make sense…"

* * *

"I figured you'd be here." Tiala said, causing Tiberius to jump a little.

"Don't sneak up on me like that." He told her, his sub-harmonics trilling with annoyance.

"Sorry. I figured that you would hear me coming." She said and he growled a little.

"What are you doing here? If I wanted company, I would have told Blue where I was going." He said angrily and she shrugged.

"But that would involve you telling her about your mother." She pointed out and he sighed.

"So, what _are_ you doing here? Besides harassing me, I mean?" He asked and she shrugged once more.

"You're the one in an asari temple." She pointed out and he folded his arms.

"Mom… She was big on asari religion. I think it was more of a comfort to her than the Spirits after my father died." He admitted and Tiala nodded.

"Yeah. I don't know if my mom was big on religion or not. Although my name is a religious one." She said and Tiberius frowned.

"How so?" He asked.

"Tiala was the name of an ancient asari huntress. She was said to have been blessed by Athame with strength, wisdom and beauty. I think it's a load of bull, but I don't know what she thought…" She trailed off.

"Your father didn't tell you?" He asked and she shook her head.

"He didn't like to talk about her. And by the time I was old enough to start asking questions…" She trailed off.

"Sorry." He said and she gave him a sad smile.

"It's okay. It was just hard today. She's going to hate me for the rest of her life…"

"The girl?" He asked.

"Yeah. I know I do. That's not a moment in your life that you forget."

"No, it isn't…"


	6. Chapter Six - Old Friends

**AN: Thanks to everyone who has favourited, followed and reviewed and special thanks to my beta Spyke1985.**

**Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Six – Old Friends**

"Rookie, isn't the point of leaving the office to stop working?" Philip asked Sarah, snatching her data-pad from her grasp.

"Hey!" She cried, leaning over the table to grab it back. She was on the verge of a huge breakthrough in the investigation. Philip was suddenly stunned as the data-pad was pulled from his hand by biotics, landing squarely in Sarah's lap.

"Ha!" She exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear.

"No fair. I didn't know that you got you biotics back." He said, shaking his head. She just kept grinning.

"I haven't." She said simply, flicking her wrist to show that she still had no control over her ability to generate mass effect fields.

"Sarah, shouldn't you go to a doctor or something? Maybe your implant's malfunctioning." Tiala interjected and Sarah shook her head.

"No, it's definitely psychological. It's like my sub-conscious has all of the control." She said and Tia gave her a slightly worried look.

"Because, you know, that's perfectly safe." She said sarcastically and Sarah shrugged, blushing. She wasn't used to people outside of her family worrying about her.

"Wait a minute…" Philip said, cocking his head.

"Wha-" Tia started but Philip interrupted her.

"Shhh!" Sarah frowned, listening. She couldn't hear anything but the low chatter of the other patrons and the soft melody being played over the speakers.

And then she heard the lyrics.

"_-record like Charles Manson,_  
_My AK-47 is a tool,  
Don't make me act the motherfuckin' fool._"

She and Philip started to snigger uncontrollably and Tiala just gave them a blank look.

"What the hell has gotten into you two?" He asked as Sarah looked over the counter and caught her Aunt Kara's eye, causing the woman to start laughing and press a finger to her lips.

"You never got that translator upgrade that would let you hear the lyrics to songs, did you?" Philip asked Tia, who shook her head in response.

"No, why?" She asked.

"Why indeed…" Came Lona's voice from behind them as she narrowed her eyes at Kara.

"What?" Kara asked, feigning innocence. Her wife rolled her eyes at her.

"You know what. You've put on an acoustic cover of a rap song again, haven't you?" She asked and Kara looked as guilty as possible while giggling.

"It's not as bad as the time she put on the piano version of Bitches Ain't Nothing." Sarah pointed out.

"_Not helping._" Kara hissed at her as Lona sighed.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the father of my future children." Lona said sarcastically.

"Wait, when did you two start thinking about kids?" Sarah asked, frowning. Kara shrugged.

"Well, your mum said that, since it looks like you're definitely staying here, you don't have to stay here with us if you don't want to. You know that we love having you here, but I know how much you wanted your own place when you moved here and if you move out it's gonna leave an empty room." Kara said and Sarah frowned.

"Wait, when did Mum say this?" She asked and Kara raised an eyebrow at her.

"Yesterday when I called her. Sarah, when was the last time you talked to your parents?" Sarah shifted guiltily at that.

"Before I left home." She admitted, guiltily. "I mean, I write and stuff but I haven't actually _called_ as such…"

"Wait, aren't your parents out in the Terminus? How could you get real time communication running?" Philip interjected and Sarah frowned a little.

"They have a QEC onboard." She told him, hoping that she wasn't giving too much away.

"Fancy." He said, before Tia suddenly started bouncing in her chair.

"Oh, Sarah! This is perfect timing! Alexa just got transferred to Noveria so I need a new roommate." The asari said excitedly, causing Philip to frown at her.

"Wait, why didn't you tell _me_?" He asked, clearly a little hurt. Tia just shrugged.

"You already _have_ a roommate." She pointed out and he folded his arms, sulkily.

"You know how much Smith annoys me. Plus, I'm pretty sure he's a drug dealer." Tiala frowned at that.

"Yeah, he's _your_ drug dealer." She said and Philip shook his head.

"Only for the legal stuff." He said dismissively and Tia sighed.

"So, why don't you just turn him in?" She asked and he rolled his eyes.

"Because I've been living with him for six months and Chellick is just _begging_ for an excuse to fire my ass." Tiala just shrugged.

"Well, I'd be more comfortable living with Sarah." Tiala said simply.

"Why?" He asked and she shrugged.

"Well, she doesn't want to sleep with me for starters."

"I do-" He started but Sarah grabbed him before he could finish his thought.

"Quit while you're ahead, buddy. There is _no_ way you can get out of this one." She warned him while Tiala smiled at him smugly. He huffed but remained quiet.

"So, wanna move in?" Tia asked and Sarah bit her lip. It would be almost impossible to hide everything from Tia if they lived together. But, then again, she was going for normal, wasn't she?

"Sure."

* * *

That night Sarah climbed up to the roof of Tiberius's apartment building feeling a little nervous. He had been… _Off _ever since that night the week before. He was quieter at work (which was saying a lot given how quiet he normally was), and every night he told her that he was 'busy'. Philip and Tiala had been more than happy to take up her evenings with various crazy ventures across the Citadel (she had been surprised by how many interesting places they knew that weren't crowded), but she missed Red.

So, she decided to see him tonight whether he wanted her to or not. She had been working on the latest intel, and despite Philip and Tiala's pestering, she had actually made a breakthrough. One that she was especially eager to share with Tiberius.

"Hey." She said as she spotted him sitting on the edge of the building as they often did, reading something on a data-pad. He didn't respond and when she approached, she noticed that his sub-harmonics were screaming with rage.

"_Red!_" She cried, trying to get his attention and he snapped out of his daze, throwing the data-pad away from him.

"Sorry, Blue. I… I should know better than to read that." He said and she frowned.

"Why? What is it?" She asked, picking up the data-pad but not looking at the files.

"I… Dammit. You remember last week when Tia…?" He asked as she sat down next to him.

"The incident with the girl?" She asked and he nodded. "Yeah, it hit you and Tia hard and you wouldn't say why. I told you I wouldn't push you about it. That you could tell me when you were ready." She remembered how appreciative he had been of that, how thankful he had been for her understanding and patience. Two things she wasn't exactly known for.

"That's why." He said, indicating to the data-pad. However, Sarah refused to let her curiosity get the better of her.

"Are you sure that you want me to read this?" She asked and he sighed.

"I… I'm not used to telling people about this. But you've been nothing but honest with me and I figure that I owe you the same." He reasoned and she shook her head. She had been honest with him about some things, but not with others. She was suddenly struck by guilt. It wasn't as bad when they both had their secrets. She wanted nothing more than to just tell him the truth. But she knew all too well the dangers of such an act. At the very least, she might lose their friendship and that wasn't something she was willing to risk.

"Tiberius, you don't even know who I am." She said and he frowned.

"You're Sarah." He said simply and she let out a small laugh. Was she? Or had Sarah been lost all those years ago? Was she just Angel pretending to be Sarah?

"Sarah who?" She asked and he shrugged.

"Doesn't matter." He said and she sighed.

"Doesn't it?" She asked, honestly looking for an answer.

"No. Wasn't it a human poet who said 'What's in a name? That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet.'?" He asked and she raised an eyebrow at him.

"You mean Shakespeare? He was a famous playwright." She told him and he shrugged.

"I just know that line because it's quoted a lot." He admitted and she nodded.

"It's from Romeo and Juliet. I never really liked that one. It's about two teenagers who go so loopy for each other that they end up killing themselves. Fucking morons…" She said, shaking her head. Tiberius fell silent and simply indicated to the data-pad again.

"Just… Read it." He said and she nodded, turning her attention to the file on the page.

_Quintus Tallin - Personal Log - Entry 352_

_Pinnacle Station is nothing more than a pile of rubble. I'm not exactly sure why the council is surprised by this or why it wasn't checked sooner but I guess it doesn't really matter now. What matters now is that I was supposed to be taking my final Spectre exam there and now the council don't know what to do with me. _

_To be honest, I want to go home. I never saw myself as a family man, hence the application to the Spectres, but if they didn't need every available hand, I think I would have declined the offer. I seriously considered turning them down, but as soon as Karina heard that I had the chance, she practically pushed me out of the door. And I love her for that. Because she's right. As much as I want to stay with her on Palaven and help rebuild, I have wanted to be a Spectre for as long as I can remember and the council really does need to rebuild the ranks after the war. Plus, I don't think I could stand it if Tiberius grew up with a father who gave up on his dreams._

"Bastard should have been more concerned about me growing up with a father at all..." Tiberius muttered as Sarah lifted her gaze from the data-pad. "They decided to send him on a live mission. He and his mentor both died." He admitted, his sub-harmonics trilling with grief and anger.

"It seems like he cared about you..." She observed, her voice soft and cautious.

"Not enough to stay alive." He said bitterly.

"You were too young to remember?" She asked and he nodded.

"Yeah, but mom sure as hell remembered…"

"So, she...?"

"What would yours do? If one of your parents lost the other, what would happen?" He asked, his gaze finally locking with hers. She sighed at that. She knew the answer all too well. Omega would happen. Archangel would happen. Her parents had tried to shield her from the truth but she had picked up enough over the years to piece it together. She knew that her father hadn't had an escape plan. That he had fully expected to die.

She decided to tell him the truth.

"They would do enough stupid shit to get themselves killed." She told him and he nodded grimly. She inched closer to him, unsure of whether or not he would shun any physical contact. To her slight surprise, he didn't and she let her sub-harmonics trill with understanding.

"She kept it together for me while I grew up but..." He trailed off and she bit her lip, unsure of what to say.

"I'm sorry." She said and he shrugged. "I know it doesn't help. I really do, but... I guess there's no right thing to say here." She said and he nodded.

"But thanks anyway." He said and she smiled a little.

"Just returning the favour." She told him.

"Thanks Blue." He said and she smiled as him.

"Any time."

* * *

Sarah leapt down the stairs and into the bakery, practically running past Tiberius as she tied her hair up.

"Sorry, I know I'm late. I overslept." She explained hurriedly as they made their way out into the ward.

"That's not like you." Tiberius pointed out as they walked hurriedly to work, Sarah constantly mindful of the time in the corner of her visor screen.

"I know! I think that's the first time I've slept properly for… Well, years." She said as they bypassed her favourite coffee place, still mindful of the time.

They barely made it in time and didn't manage to talk properly until they sat down at their desks.

"I totally forgot to tell you last night but there _was _a reason I dropped by." She started but Tiberius interrupted her.

"Actually, I wanted to thank you for, you know, listening last night." He said sheepishly. "And I also wanted to apologize…"

"No apology needed, Red. It means a lot to me that you would trust me despite… Well, my untrustworthy behaviour, I guess." She admitted and his sub-harmonics began to trill with guilt.

"Actually, that's what I wanted to apologize for… I wasn't entirely truthful with you last night." She frowned at that.

"What do you mean?" She asked, sub-harmonics trilling with confusion, and he shifted guiltily.

"I… I figured it out a while ago, Sarah." He admitted and she froze where she stood. Did he know who she was? Or, worse still, _what_ she was? "Or is it Angel?" He asked, confirming her fears and snapping her into action. Before she could even really think about it, she had leapt across the desk and pinned him against the wall, hand pressed against his mouth, growling.

"_Never say that name out loud!_" She hissed at him, her fury at being caught allowing nothing else through. Except the sound of footsteps approaching. Just as quickly as she had grabbed him, she let him go, just as Philip and Tiala walked into the room.

"Hey guys, what's up?" Philip asked and Sarah shot Tiberius a death glare before answering.

"Nothing." She replied shortly and Philip looked between them before deciding simply not to ask, for which Sarah was glad, as her fury started to ebb away, leaving something unfamiliar in its place as the feel of his plates beneath her hand refused to fade. She tried to shake the feeling off, simply attributing it to the fact that it had been a _really_ long time since she had had _any_ sort of romantic encounter and the move had left her even more stressed than usual, with no way to blow off steam.

"Well, okay then… So, I hear there's a krogan in lock up. Dave says that he got wasted last night and they decided to let him sober up in a cell. And apparently your name is down as the krogan expert, Rookie." Philip told her and Sarah nodded before she headed towards the cells, her friends in tow.

Tiala wondered what the hell Tiberius had said to Sarah for her to seem so dazed as they followed her down to the cell block.

"What did you do?" She whispered to Tiberius, staying far enough away from Sarah so that she couldn't hear.

"I, erm… Nothing. I just didn't think before I spoke." He admitted and she shook her head.

"_Men_…" She muttered before heading back towards Sarah's side as they walked into the room, only to see her friend's eyes light up as she spotted the krogan in the cell.

"Mordin!" Sarah cried as she approached.

"Ha! I forgot you were slumming it at C-Sec, Pixie." He said excitedly and Sarah grinned widely at him. "You here to spring me?"

"As fun as that sounds, no. I'm respectable now, remember?" She told him and he shook his head.

"I had heard but I refused to believe it until I saw for myself. I didn't think you'd be a fan of all the rules." He said and she shrugged.

"You gotta do what you gotta do. Anyway, why are you here? Your dad kick you off planet?" She teased and he shrugged.

"Pretty much. I got volunteered into being an escort for Lia." He said, causing Sarah to frown.

"What's Lia doing here? She's too young for the Pilgrimage." She reasoned and the krogan shook his head.

"She's only off by a few months and you know Lia, as soon as her brother went off she just had to follow. Her mom agreed as long as I went with, so here I am." He explained and Sarah tried to contain her relief at the thought that Rael might be near by and she might finally have a chance to blow off some steam, as she raised an eyebrow.

"In jail." She pointed out. "Your dad is gonna have a fit."

"Nah, he thinks it's funny when I pull shit like this. Mom on the other hand, well let's just say I'm glad to be several systems away right now…" He admitted and her grin widened.

"I'll bet. Why do you think I'm so well behaved?" She asked and the krogan laughed.

"Ha! Good one, Pix." He said, causing her to shake her head in mock hurt.

"Ahem…" Philip mock cleared his throat, nudging Sarah with his elbow. She immediately blushed as she realized that she had been ignoring the trio behind her.

"Oh, sorry. Guys, this is Mordin. Mordin, this is Red, Tia and Philip." She introduced, not noticing how Tiberius' sub-harmonics trilled with a little relief as she used her nickname for him.

"Pix?" Philip asked and she fixed him with a warning glare.

"Yeah, Mordin's only allowed to call me that because I can't easily beat him up." She said, the threat clear. Although the krogan just laughed.

"Yeah, last time she tried, she broke her hand." He told them, causing her to round on him.

"What do you mean _tried_? I broke your nose." She reminded him and he chuckled a little, shaking his head.

"Yeah, but why _Pixie_?" Philip asked and Sarah frowned a little, trying to figure out how exactly to skirt the truth. Mordin spoke up before she had the chance.

"She was trying to explain her middle name to me and I thought that her parents had picked the wrong mythical creature. I mean, look at that face. She's definitely a pixie." He said and she shook her head. "Acts like one too." He added, earning him a playful glare.

"Wait, what's your middle name?" Tiala asked but Tiberius spoke up before Sarah had the chance to think up of a lie.

"Hey, apparently there's a quarian at the front desk asking about you." He told Mordin, causing Philip and Tia to turn their attention to the terminal he had been looking at.

"_Thank you._" Sarah mouthed to him and he frowned. She realized that he couldn't read human lips and so she instead sent the 'thank you' to his omni-tool, her sub-harmonics trilling with appreciation, forgiveness and a little apology for her earlier actions.

Her attention was once more diverted from him as a quarian entered the room.

"Sarah!" The quarian cried as the others took in the rare sight. It had been barely twenty years since the quarians had retaken Rannoch and any who had been born before then still tended to wear their suits when venturing off-world, since their immune systems still weren't as robust as they could be. It was rare to see a young quarian (at least one young enough to happily go without their suit) off Rannoch since the first generation was barely old enough to start on their Pilgrimage.

The quarian in question had flowing, dark hair that was pulled back at the sides so that it all fell down her back instead of over her face, showing off her small features and dark eyes. She was wearing what looked like a traditional quarian suit, minus the mask and sleeves.

"Lia! Mordin tells me that they kicked you out early." Sarah joked and the quarian cracked a wide grin as she hugged her friend.

"It's only because he, Tal and Harmony are with me. I've got my own little entourage." Lia told her and Sarah frowned a little.

"Wait, didn't you kick up so much fuss so that you could go with your brother? Where is Rael?" She asked and Lia sighed, folding her arms.

"He, um... He went with his girlfriend." She told Sarah cautiously.

"Oh." Sarah said, frowning a little. "I... I see." She said as her friends watched on, trying to figure out what Lia and Mordin already knew. Lia simply sighed.

"Sarah, you know that I love you like a sister, right?" She asked and Sarah nodded.

"Yea-" She was cut off by the quarian slapping her across the face. "Hey! What was that for?" She asked indignantly as she rubbed her cheek, hoping that her skin was tough enough to not turn purple at the injury.

"You lead him on for _two_ _years_, Sarah!" Lia told her as Sarah's frown deepened. "He was convinced that the next time you came to Rannoch, you would stay for good. Stay for him." She told her and Sarah's heart clenched. Had she really been that cruel to him? She had thought that she'd made it clear that she didn't want a real relationship. Had she really been so blind? Or worse, had she known how he felt and disregarded it anyway?

"Lia, I am so sorry. If I had known..." She started and the quarian pulled her in for another hug and Sarah surprised her C-Sec friends by not objecting at all.

"I know, Sarah." Lia told her, softly. "If I thought for a second that you were even a little sensitive to that sort of thing, a slap would have been the least of your worries." Sarah snorted at that.

"I don't doubt that." She said and Lia pulled away from her friend, sighing and placing her hands on her hips.

"I'd better go and tell the others that I found him. I'll drop by and meet you for lunch, okay?" She asked and Sarah nodded.

"Sure."

"Wait, you're not here to get me out?" Mordin asked and Lia smiled smugly.

"No, I'm leaving you with Sarah. Harmony is more than capable of protecting me and _you_ need to learn your lesson." Lia told him before leaving the room. "See you, Sarah!" She called as she left. Sarah turned to her friends and blushed a little.

"Sorry guys. I guess I kind of ignored you again there…" She said sheepishly and Tiala smiled at her reassuringly.

"No worries. We understand." She told her before Philip spoke up.

"Yeah, plus now your mysterious past is no longer so mysterious." He pointed out and Mordin gave him a quizzical look.

"You mean that you figured out all of Pix's secrets from that? Damn, you C-Sec guys _are_ good." He joked, causing Philip to laugh.

"Just call me a genius." He said, shrugging and Sarah rolled her eyes at him.

"I already told you guys that I spent a lot of time on Rannoch and Tuchanka growing up. I'm not exactly sure what else you could have picked up from that." She reasoned.

"What about the fact that you are the _worst_ girlfriend in the galaxy?" Mordin asked and Sarah rounded on him, her biotics flickering a little.

"I was _not_ his girlfriend!" She cried indignantly. Mordin simply snorted.

"_He _didn't think that." He said and Sarah sighed, shaking her head.

"Can we please just talk about something else?" She asked.

"Yeah, you've gotta have some good Sarah stories." Philip said. "She's always so tight-lipped about her past."

"Well, there was the time we killed the thresher maw during my Rite…"

* * *

Philip and Tiberius both had to return to work, leaving Sarah and Tia with Mordin for most of the morning. Tia wondered at how Sarah was the most comfortable she had ever seen her with the krogan near. Although, Mordin seemed to treat her with the kind of respect Tia had only ever seen krogan display for great warrior, and while she had to admit that her combat skills were impressive, Sarah was hardly a great warrior. _Maybe it's just because they grew up together_ she thought to herself, although she realized that Sarah too started to notice his attitude towards her at times and it made her squirm a little before changing the subject. She was still watching the two when Lia returned with a male quarian and a small geth unit in tow.

"Hey Sarah." Lia said before turning to the asari. "Sorry, I didn't get your name before."

"I'm Tiala." She supplied and the quarian nodded.

"I'm Lia'Reegar nar Rannoch. This is my cousin Tal and my friend Harmony." She introduced and Tia nodded to each of them in turn.

"So, where are Philip and Tiberius? I'm starving." Sarah asked Tia just as the two boys arrived. "Speak of the devils. Hey, guys, can we go somewhere, you know, _decent_ for lunch?"

"No way! We have to show your friends a day in the life of a C-Sec officer. And that means lunch that's deep fried and cheap." Philip said, causing Sarah to roll her eyes.

"And hazardous to your health." She joked and the male quarian smiled at her.

"I'm sure we'll manage." He told her and she smiled back at him.

"I'm sure you will, erm… Tal, was it? I don't think I've met you before."

"No, I rarely have time to spend with my cousins, which is why I was so eager to join Lia on her Pilgrimage. But I have heard much about you." He said and she blushed a little, remembering what Lia and Mordin had told her that morning.

"All good, I hope." She said, sincerely hoping that he didn't think that she was some stone-cold bitch.

"Of course." He said, and she couldn't help but feel relieved.

* * *

"Does anyone want the end of my lunch?" Sarah asked, indicating to the pile of food that she had barely touched.

"Sarah, you do this every day. Why don't you just buy less food?" Philip asked and she shrugged.

"I'm used to eating a lot to deal with the calorie demand of my biotics. I always forget that I don't have them anymore." She reasoned.

"You lost your biotics?" Lia asked, seemingly a little shocked.

"Kind of. They show up when they feel like it. It's kind of unpredictable." She said and Mordin snorted.

"Just like you, then." He joked and she shrugged.

"I'm not _that_ unpredictable" She reasoned and Harmony cocked its head in response.

"Untrue, Sarah. I am unable to predict your future actions with more than 1.64% accuracy." The geth told her and she shrugged.

"You think _all_ organics are unpredictable, Harmony." She pointed out and the geth did a reasonable approximation of a shrug before turning to Lia.

"We will be late if we do not leave in the next few minutes." It told her, and the quarian checked her omni-tool.

"Keelah. We'd better leg it." She told Mordin and Tal and they nodded.

"Perhaps Sarah could accompany us." Tal suggested and Sarah looked a little sheepish.

"I'd love to but I've got work to do." She said and Tiberius shook his head.

"I can manage by myself for one afternoon. And I'm sure the Executor will understand." He told her and she nodded.

"Well, alright then…" She said, before getting up to follow Tal. Once they were out of earshot Philip shot Tiberius a glare.

"Why'd you let her go?" He asked and Tiberius frowned.

"Because she hasn't seen her friends since she arrived here, and she should catch up with them." He said, frowning at the human sitting across from him.

"Yeah, I bet that Tal guy wants to 'catch up' alright…" He grumbled and Tia raised an eyebrow at him.

"Given that she hadn't met him before today, that didn't even make sense. Are you acting like this because he clearly _likes_ her?" The asari asked and Tiberius frowned at her.

"He does?" He asked and she smiled at him.

"Oh Smiles, you really can't read people, can you?" She asked, shaking her head. "Yes, he was all over her."

"Well, I don't like him. He's too… _pretty_." Philip said and Tiala raised an eyebrow at him, about to speak up, when Tiberius got up abruptly to leave.

"Hey, where are you going?" She asked him and he shook his head.

"I… I've got work to do." He said before leaving. Tiala just sighed as Philip frowned.

"What's up with him?" He asked and Tiala shrugged, although she knew all too well.

"Who knows?" She said, playing dumb. "So, what's the _real_ reason you don't like Tal?" She asked and he frowned.

"I just told you." He said and she grinned wickedly.

"You _like_ her, don't you?" She asked.

"What? Who? Rookie? No, she's… You know she's… She's _Sarah_. You know?" He spluttered, causing the asari to laugh a little.

"If she asked you out, would you say yes?" She asked and he sighed.

"Well, yeah, I mean, she's hot." He reasoned and Tia rolled her eyes.

"Of course. But, is that it?" She asked and he sighed.

"Yeah, Tia. That's it. She's hot and she's a good friend. And it's not like I've got girls lining up to go out with me. I figure I might actually stand a chance with her. You know, as long as no asshole quarians ask her out first." He reasoned and Tiala frowned a little, wondering what exactly about the conversation was making her stomach clench.

"So, why are you acting all jealous of Tal but not Tiberius?"

"First of all, I am not _jealous_ of Tal. I just think he's a smarmy git. Second, why would I be jealous of Smiley? Even if he liked Sarah, there's no way he would ever ask her out." He reasoned and Tia sighed.

"Sadly, I think you're right."

* * *

"I'd better go guys, it's getting late." Sarah told her friends as she got ready to head back home.

"It's been really nice meeting you." Tal told her and she smiled back, feeling a little awkward.

"You too." She told him before Lia pulled her into a bone-crushing hug as the boys and Harmony left the two girls alone.

"Ow, Lia! Can't breathe!" She protested and the quarian pulled away, looking a little sheepish.

"I'm sorry. It's just… I've missed you, Sarah." She said as Sarah frowned at her.

"What do you mean? You saw me what? Six months ago?" She said and Lia shook her head.

"No, Sarah. I last saw you over three years ago. And then every few months the Normandy would dock and a stranger would show up. She looked like you and talked like you but she _wasn't_ you." Lia told her and Sarah sighed, folding her arms.

"You noticed, huh?" She asked and Lia smiled sadly.

"Sarah, _everyone_ noticed. You suddenly stopped having fun and threw yourself into combat training, something you always swore that you would avoid. I was left wondering what had happened to 'giving destiny the middle finger'. I asked Auntie Jane about it once and she said that it was something you had to figure out for yourself. I guess she was right." She told her and Sarah stood silently for a few moments as she processed the information.

So, her mother _had_ known. She'd known all along. But she'd been right. She had needed to work out her anger and learn her lesson. She figured that she wouldn't have listened if someone had simply tried to tell it to her. She probably would have pushed them away.

"Yeah, she has a bad habit of doing that." Sarah said and Lia smiled.

"It's good to have you back. I don't know how or why you're back, but I'm glad." Sarah smiled at that. She didn't know, either. But sometime in the past two months she had returned to the old Sarah, without even realizing it.

It was strange, like waking up from a bad dream slowly, so that certain fantastical elements lingered into the real world. She could remember the last three years, remember every action and the reasoning behind them, but the reasoning no longer made any sense. She could see the conclusions she had reached, but she had no idea how she had gotten there.

"It's good to _be_ back." She admitted before leaving. There was still one thing she had to do.

* * *

Tiberius entered his apartment and sighed. He had been on edge ever since lunch. Ever since Tia had told him that Tal liked Sarah. Why was it bothering him so much? She was free to go out with whoever the hell she wanted. It was none of his business. She was _just_ a friend. Barely that, given his behavior over the past week. He had pushed her away and as soon as she had gotten a little close, he had immediately alienated her once more.

"Hey." A soft voice came from behind him, pulling him from his thoughts.

"Sarah! Spirits, don't scare me like that… I thought you were an intruder. How did you even get in?" He asked as he spotted her figure sitting on the windowsill.

"In-tru-da window." She said, smiling weakly at the bad pun.

"That wasn't even a little funny." He told her and she nodded.

"I know. Sorry, I'm bad at this stuff. My 'humour heuristics lack an expert system' as my Auntie EDI would say… I guess there's no point in keeping up pretenses now that I've been rumbled." She reasoned, shrugging.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to figure it out." He said and she raised an eyebrow.

"What, you weren't even a little bit curious about me? The girl with no name and no past." She asked and he shrugged.

"Well, yeah, at first. But after that first night when you bumped into me on the rooftop… I decided to stop looking. I figured that you would tell me when you were ready." She sighed at that, shaking her head.

"So you figured it out without even trying? I'm really bad at keeping secrets, huh?" She asked, a little jokingly. He shook his head.

"No, I'm just really good at my job." He said, causing her to smile.

"Cocky."

"Only when I have reason to be." He told her and she laughed a little. Before she had one sobering thought. If he had figured out who her parents were, how long would it take him to figure out what she was?

"So, you figured out my last secret… It's nice. To not have to hide." She told him, hoping that he would never realize that she still keeping one last thing from him.

"It's a pretty big secret to have to keep from everyone." He said sympathetically and she shrugged it off.

"Thank you for keeping it."

"You don't have to worry about me telling anyone." He told her. "Who else would I tell anyway?"

"Tia, Philip… You're not as much of a loner as you like to think." She told him and he shrugged.

"Neither are you." He countered and she frowned a little.

"Who said I thought of myself as a loner?"

"Please, Blue, it's written all over your face." He told her and she frowned a little.

"Huh. How is it that you seem to know me better than I know myself?" She asked him and he shrugged. "I think… I think I became so good at lying that I managed to convince myself. Now I don't know what's true and what isn't."

"Now who's cocky?" He asked and she snorted.

"Red?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"You already said that." He pointed out and she shook her head.

"Not for keeping my secret. Thanks for this."

"Thanks for not kicking you out when you broke into my apartment?"

"Yeah. That."

"No problem, Blue."


	7. Chapter Seven - Girls Night

**AN: Thanks to everyone who has favourited, followed and double thanks to everyone who has reviewed.**

**Special thanks goes to my beta Spyke1985! Seriously, you're awesome!**

**Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Seven – Girls Night**

"That was the last bag." Sarah announced as she slumped down onto the sofa in the living room of the small apartment that she now shared with Tia. She would have been lying if she said that she wasn't worried about the move. If Tia figured out _what_ she was, she couldn't fathom the depths of shit she would be in. But this was all part of her effort to be normal. She wasn't even sure what _normal_ was but she was sure as hell determined to find it.

She was pulled from her thoughts as her statement was greeted by a cheer from both Tiala and Lia.

"Thanks again for helping me move." She told the quarian who shrugged.

"I would just like to make one thing perfectly clear." She said as she sat down opposite Sarah.

"Yeah?"

"I'm only here because you're bribing me with alcohol and curry." She told them, getting a laugh from the other two girls as she opened a bottle of dextro beer.

"I still can't believe you managed to find a place that sells dextro vindaloo." Tiala said to Sarah as she sat down next to her. Sarah just shrugged in response as she began to dish out the food, wishing that she could eat some of the dextro dishes but not wanting to chance it in front of Tia.

"You'd be surprised at the lengths Sarah will go to when she's craving a certain kind of food." Lia said as she started to eat.

"I guess I'm just surprised by the effort she went to simply so that you weren't left out." Tiala reasoned and Sarah frowned.

"Surprised? Wow Tia, way to make me sound like a first-class bitch." She joked before frowning. "I haven't really been that bad, have I?"

"Nah, you just took a while to warm up." Tia told her. "Put it this way, if I thought you were a bitch I wouldn't have asked you to move in. It's just a little odd. As if you're in reverse. Normally people are super nice when you first meet them and then they get meaner the longer you know them as they stop caring so much about making a good impression. But you didn't care what we thought of you when we first met you and, as time goes on, you get nicer." Sarah just shrugged at that.

"What can I say? Apparently I'm unpredictable." She joked and Tiala smirked.

"Oh, don't get me wrong, you're still a sarcastic hot-head with no respect for the rules and a complete inability to think before you act-"

"Didn't this start off as a compliment?" Sarah interrupted sarcastically as she folded her arms but Tia kept going.

"-and you still have your moments. I mean, I am never asking you to comfort anyone ever again. This morning was a disaster." The asari said and Sarah shifted uncomfortably.

"I did warn you." She reminded her but Lia waved her hand dismissively.

"That's just Sarah." She told Tiala, shrugging. "She has an uncanny knack for knowing _exactly_ what's bothering someone but she doesn't have the first clue what to actually _do_ with the information."

"That was a long time ago." Sarah told Lia, suddenly feeling not so hungry. Tia shook her head.

"No, that was exactly the problem. You figured out _exactly_ what had happened to that woman. You just blurted it out rather bluntly." She told Sarah who frowned a little.

"Did I? Huh, I guess I did..."

"Has she always been like this?" Tiala asked Lia and the quarian nodded.

"Alarmingly astute about some things and completely oblivious to others? Yeah, pretty much. I'd say you get used to it, but you really don't." She reasoned, shrugging.

"I'm not that bad." Sarah said, rolling her eyes, and Lia smiled.

"Yeah, you are. You're stubborn and headstrong and you're terribly blunt." Sarah just smirked at that.

"Those aren't necessarily bad things." She reasoned jokingly, earning her a smile from her two friends.

"So, where are you actually staying?" Tiala asked Lia who shrugged.

"The embassy. I, erm... I wanted to rough it, you know, like my mom did..."

"Because that worked out so well for her." Sarah interrupted, sarcastically.

"Well, yeah, it did." Lia said honestly and Tiala frowned.

"Wait, what happened to your mom?" She asked and Sarah and Lia gave each other a significant look.

"She was attacked while on her pilgrimage." Lia finally said. "That was when she met Auntie Ja- Sarah's parents. I wanted the same kind of legendary pilgrimage so I refused to take too much money with me. Which means that I can't afford to stay anywhere but the embassy. They have a whole set up for kids on their pilgrimage. It's just a little cramped, plus Tal and Mordin aren't staying with me and so, since Harmony doesn't have to sleep, I end up on my own."

"Why don't you stay here with us?" Tia offered and Sarah frowned a little.

"Now who's the one being overly nice?" She asked and Tia shrugged.

"Well, why not? Alexa was never really around when she lived here and I don't really have many friends outside of Philip. Having other girls around is a novelty." She admitted and Sarah let her sub-harmonics trill with question, although she knew that neither of the other two could hear.

"You don't have any sisters?" She asked and Tia shook her head.

"I was an only child and I grew up with my dad so I've never really been close with girls before." She told them and Lia smiled.

"Sarah is barely a 'girl'." She joked, in an attempt to lighten the mood, and Sarah threw a poppadom at her head in response. "You know what I mean. When was the last time you wore a dress?"

"I... _Own_ dresses... I think." Sarah replied, causing Lia to shake her head, smiling. "So, are you staying with us or not?"

"Might as well. I'm only here for a week and I wouldn't want to waste any opportunities to poke fun at Sarah. So, as long as it's okay with you guys, then I'd be more than happy to stay."

"You'll be on the couch." Tia warned and she nodded.

"That's fine. It'll be like that time I stayed with you and Hil, Sarah. Remember?" Lia asked and Sarah nodded.

"Yeah, that was fun." She said and Tia gave them a questioning look, which Lia answered.

"It was right before Ang- _Other Sarah_ showed up. Mordin had been being a typical teenage krogan and his parents had decided to kick him off-world and let Sarah's parents deal with him for a while. They reckoned that the excitement of space travel might calm him for a while." She explained and Sarah snorted.

"Not that it worked. I ended up sparring with him every day to keep him happy. I didn't understand why Uncle James couldn't do it; he's pretty much a krogan himself." Sarah reasoned and Lia raised an eyebrow at her.

"Oh please, he wouldn't settle for anything less than a She-"

"_Anyway_…" Sarah interrupted before her friend gave away her identity. "We landed on Rannoch not long after and Lia and her brother insisted that if Mordin could come with us then so could they."

"You know why Rael insisted, don't you?" Lia asked and Sarah shrugged.

"He's a boy and we had a big spaceship. Does there need to be another reason?" She asked and Lia narrowed her eyes.

"Wow, you really _are_ that dense, aren't you? He was crushing on you." Lia told her and Sarah snorted.

"No, he wasn't." She said and Lia shook her head.

"He was. Trust me. He wouldn't shut up about you. And then when you came back a few months later…" Sarah sighed, nodding. When she had come back, she had been Angel. And, while she didn't want a relationship, she didn't mind the idea of blowing off steam with a friend.

"So, is this why you haven't realized?" Tia asked and Sarah frowned.

"Realized what?"

"All of the guys lining up to date you." Tia said and Sarah blushed a little, shaking her head.

"That's not… I mean, no they don't. I mean… Lia, you know that I'm not even…" She trailed off, unable to say what was bothering her. But Lia knew. Sarah was a mutant. A freak of nature. No one else saw her that way, and neither did she, _most of the time_. But occasionally, she would realize just how different she was and it would mess with her confidence. Lia suspected that having to hide her identity for months was screwing up her self-image.

"Sarah, you _know_ that guys don't care. You've got tits and an ass. You're good." She said, slightly jokingly. Sarah gave her a weak smile.

"Doesn't matter anyway. I wouldn't want to risk another Rael incident and I don't _want_ a real relationship." She said and Lia groaned.

"Keelah, not this again! I thought this was an Ang- an _Other Sarah_ thing. It's not even that you don't believe that love exists, it's that you think it's too dangerous to risk!" She said, clearly exasperated.

"I refuse to have my priorities messed up by a hormonal imbalance." She told them, folding her arms.

"So, it wouldn't matter who liked you?" Tia asked and Sarah shook her head.

"Nope."

"What about Tal? He's nice and he _clearly_ likes you." Lia said and Sarah shook her head again.

"Not interested." She said and Tia narrowed her eyes a little.

"What about Philip? He seems interested." She said and Sarah held up her hands, shaking her head.

"Oh no, I may not be sensitive to this shit but I know when to stay out of someone else's territory." She said, causing Tia to frown.

"Wait, whose _territory_?" She asked and Sarah frowned.

"_Yours_, you bosh'tet. Even _I_ can see that." Lia interjected and Tiala shook her head.

"I'm not… I mean… We're not together." Tia said and Sarah smiled.

"Only because you're both too stubborn." She said and Tiala's expression became a little distant as she shook her head.

"No, that ship sailed long ago. Trust me, I don't want to be with Philip and he got over me a while ago." Tia said and Sarah shrugged.

"Answer is still no." She stated and Tia smirked a little.

"What if I told you that _Tiberius_ likes you?" She asked and Sarah shrugged.

"He doesn't."

"But what if he did?" She asked and Sarah shook her head.

"Doesn't matter. He doesn't like me and even if he did, I wouldn't want to risk our friendship." She said and Lia narrowed her eyes.

"That's not a no." She pointed out and Sarah groaned.

"Do you need me to say it more clearly? _**N-O**_." She said, rolling her eyes.

"I think you're protesting too much." Lia teased and Sarah threw her a death glare.

"I think you're right." Tia agreed and Sarah groaned with frustration.

"If I go out with Tal, will it shut you two up?" She asked and the other two women looked at each other before nodding, grins across both their faces.

"Yes." They said in unison, causing Sarah to roll her eyes.

"Spirits, I've created a monster." She joked before her omni-tool beeped. "Shit, I've gotta go."

"Meeting Tiberius?" Tia asked, her voice full of suggestion that made Sarah roll her eyes.

"Not that it's any of your business but yes. We finally have enough intel to take to the Executor." She replied and Tia shook her head.

"I would say 'have fun' but it sounds like you're just going to be talking about work. Like usual." She said and Sarah frowned.

"That's not… I mean it's not _all_… We talk about other things…" She said and Tia laughed a little.

"Workaholics. The both of you. Well, if you're leaving then I'm borrowing your friend. I haven't had someone to go shopping with in _ages_." Tiala said and Lia perked up in response.

"Oh, I haven't had a chance to check out the shops yet!" The quarian squeaked excitedly and Tia grinned.

"See? _That's_ the proper response to shopping." She told Sarah, causing her to roll her eyes.

"Have fun."

* * *

Sarah waited impatiently for Tiberius, going over the last pieces of intel. There was… _something_. Something she wasn't remembering, or piecing together. And it was bugging the hell out of her. She continued to go over the data in front of her, well aware that she was missing _something_ obvious, and started to hum as she worked. The humming quickly evolved into singing as she quickly moved between data-pads, looking for the missing link.

"_There's a harvest each Saturday night,  
At the bars filled with perfume and hitching a ride,  
A place you can stand for one night and get gone,  
It's clear this conversation ain't doing a thing,  
Cause these boys only listen to me when I sing,  
And I don't feel like singing tonight,  
All the same songs._

_Here in these deep city lights,_  
_Girl could get lost tonight,_  
_I'm finding every reason to be gone,_  
_Nothing here to hold on to,_  
_Could I hold you?_

_The situation's always the same,_  
_You got your wolves in their clothes whispering Hollywood's name,_  
_Stealing gold from the silver they see,_  
_But it's not me…_"

"You know, you're a decent singer." Sarah jumped at that, spinning around to see that the voice had come from Tiberius as he moved towards her.

"Dammit, Red. Don't scare me like that." She told him and he laughed a little, a sound that was all too rare in her opinion.

"Seriously? This from the queen of sneaking." She smiled at that, shrugging.

"What can I say? I'm a ninja." She told him, before narrowing her eyes. "Don't tell anyone. About the singing thing. It's embarrassing."

"I won't. You should know by now, Blue. Your secrets are safe with me." He told her and she smiled again.

"I know. Thanks."

"So, what are you looking for?" He asked and she frowned.

"It's… there's _something_ here. Something that should be obvious and I'm not seeing it." She admitted and he shrugged.

"So, sleep on it. But, for now, I think we have enough for the Executor." He told her and she nodded.

"I agree." She told him before hopping off of the ledge and down into the street below, cushioning her fall with her biotics.

"You know, there are stairs." He yelled down to her and she shrugged before he moved down to join her. "I thought your biotics still weren't working. How did you know they would activate?" He asked and she shrugged.

"I didn't." She said, her cavalier attitude towards her own well-being catching him off guard.

"What do you mean you '_didn't_'? You leapt down three stories without knowing whether or not your biotics would kick in? Do you have a death wish?" He demanded and she shook her head, surprised by his outburst.

"No, I… I figured that I could trigger them with a big enough adrenaline jolt." She reasoned and he glared at her.

"And if it hadn't worked?" He asked and she shrugged, not meeting his gaze.

"I would have been able to break my fall on the wall but… I probably would have broken something on the way down." She admitted.

"And that doesn't bother you?" He asked and she shrugged.

"I… You know that I'm not great at thinking before I act." She reasoned, causing him to groan.

"It's just… It's not like you're not intelligent. You just have no common sense." He told her and she shrugged again.

"I know. Stuff that seems common sense to me isn't to everyone else and stuff that other people think is common sense is completely alien to me." She admitted, her sub-harmonics trilling with uncertainty. "That's why I'm glad you're here. You've got enough common sense for both of us." She told him, the joking tone absent from her voice.

"Just… Don't put yourself in danger, An- Sarah." He almost froze on the spot. Had he almost called her- _No_. That wasn't possible.

"Did you just almost call me Angel?" She asked and he nodded as his mouth went dry. _Right, Angel. That makes sense_.

"Sorry. I guess I wasn't really thinking." He said and she shrugged.

"No, it's fine. Just weird. I haven't been called Angel in months. Speaking of Angel, I wanted to thank you." She said and he let his sub-harmonics trill with question.

"You seem to spend most of the time we're together either thanking me or apologising to me." He pointed out and she tried not to blush at the comment.

"Well, I have a lot to thank you for. And... A lot to be sorry for." She defended. "Anyway, I wanted to thank you for… Not treating me differently. I figure most people would just bombard me with questions about what it was like growing up and stuff…" She reasoned and he shrugged.

"I figured that if you wanted to talk about it, you would." He told her and she nodded.

"Yeah. To be honest, I'm a little homesick. It's nice here but… I don't know. I guess it was never where I pictured myself, you know?" She asked.

"Yeah. I guess this was never your thing growing up." He observed and she laughed a little, shaking her head.

"That obvious, huh?" She joked before sighing. "To be honest, I was always better with books than guns. And I was better with guns than people so go figure."

"You thinking about leaving?" He asked, not quite believing how opposed to the idea he was.

"I don't know." She told him honestly. "I'm… I've made friends here. And that's a reason to stay. But at some point I'm going to leave. This isn't where I'm meant to be, I'm sure of it."

"If you leave, I'll miss you." He told her before he could stop himself. She was surprised by how much the comment touched her heart. Had Tiala and Lia's teasing not been completely baseless? _No_. It had to be. But, maybe they were right about one thing. Going out with Tal might actually be a good idea.

"I'd miss you too. I'd miss all of you guys. Don't worry, I don't plan on leaving soon." She told him as they approached the C-Sec HQ.

"You sure she's in her office?" Tiberius asked and Sarah nodded.

"Yeah, Aunt Sol always works late. Well, I guess 'late' is relative here but, still." She said as they entered the building.

"I guess all time is relative." He reasoned and she grinned.

"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so." She quoted and he shook his head at her as she heading into the Executor's office. She was always surprised by the lack of doors on the Citadel. She was used to living on a ship where there were doors everywhere in order to contain any shipboard fire. Apparently there were no such concerns on the Citadel. At least, not on the Presidium.

"Sarah. Tiberius. Need me for something?" She asked as Sarah handed her the data-pads.

"You know that restricted medical tech that we've been tracking?" Sarah asked.

"Yes. Do you have a location?" She asked and Sarah shook her head.

"Several. We also know _what_ the tech is." Sarah said, indicating to a data-pad. "I recognized some of the parts we recovered. We have some of this tech on the Normandy." Her aunt's gaze quickly moved to Tiberius and Sarah shrugged. "Oh, Red figured out my identity a while back."

"_Sarah_…" Her aunt started and Sarah just shrugged.

"What? You know I'm crap at keeping secrets." She reasoned and her aunt narrowed her eyes at the turian next to her, causing Sarah to let out an uncharacteristic growl.

"I trust him, Aunt Sol." She told the older woman who finally nodded.

"Alright, so this tech…" She moved her gaze back to the data-pad and her skin rapidly paled beneath her plates. "I'm pulling you two off this." She said quickly.

"What?!" Sarah exclaimed as Tiberius frowned.

"This tech is restricted for a reason. Sarah, trust me when I say that you don't want to be anywhere near this. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to make some calls." The Executor said as she left the two confused officers in her office.

"And this is why you don't work with family." Sarah said, her sub-harmonics growling with frustration.

"You think she pulled you off to keep you out of danger?" He asked her and she snorted.

"She practically said so… So, what now?" She asked and he shrugged.

"We pick a different assignment." He told her before leaving and she once again cursed his perfect poker face. She was half tempted to follow him but decided against it. Whatever was going on with her feelings towards her friend, she thought that distance was probably the best move.

* * *

Tiala and Lia returned to the apartment to find Sarah sprinting on the treadmill. Tia moved to check her stats on the little screen in front of her.

"_Impressive_." She said before Lia shook her head.

"Keelah, what happened?" She asked and Sarah slowed her speed a little.

"Nothing. I just… The Executor took us off the case and… Nothing." There was no way that she was telling the other two about her weird reactions to Tiberius. She would never hear the end of it.

"Doesn't sound like 'nothing'." Tia observed but Sarah shook her head as she shut down the treadmill.

"Seriously, I don't want to talk about it. Damn, I think my shower stuff is still in my bags…" She said.

"I'll get it." Tiala offered as Lia moved towards her friend.

"She did it because of who you are, didn't she?" Lia asked, her tone too low for Tiala to hear.

"Yeah, I think she did." She admitted and Lia frowned.

"You could just tell your parents." She reasoned and Sarah laughed a little at that.

"If I had to guess, I'd say that it was on my parents orders. I just… I feel bad for Red. This was _his_ investigation and then he gets pulled off because of me. He probably hates me right now."

"That's not true." Lia objected but Sarah shook her head.

"Doesn't matter anyway." She said as Tia brought her bag of toiletries.

"Thanks Tia." She said as she rummaged through the bag, pulling out several items at once.

"Hey, what's this?" Tia asked as she picked up a vial of deep blue paint. Sarah immediately froze where she was. "Is this your colony paint?" She asked and Sarah nodded, weakly.

"Yeah." She said, hoping that the asari wouldn't put two and two together.

"Cool." She said before putting it back down. Lia couldn't help but laugh a little at that, and Sarah elbowed her in the rib.

"What? I thought you said that she was your smart friend." She hissed back and Sarah rolled her eyes.

"Just give her a few moments." She groaned back.

"Wait a minute…" Tia said, causing Sarah to sigh.

"There we go." She said as the asari frowned at her.

"This is the _exact_ shade of Executor Vakarian's markings." She observed and Sarah nodded.

"Bingo." She said causing the asari to splutter a little.

"Wait, you're _Angel_?" She asked and Lia grinned.

"Honestly, I thought they would figure it out sooner. You're not known for being good at keeping secrets." Lia observed and Sarah shrugged.

"Red figured it out a while ago." She informed them and Tia shook her head in disbelief.

"You just like being impossible, don't you?" She asked Sarah who simply shrugged.

"I guess. Can I trust you to not tell anyone else?" She asked and the asari nodded.

"Of course."

"Even Philip?"

"It's your secret. I'll keep it for you, you have my word." She said and Sarah nodded, thankfully.

"Thank you, Tia. Obviously, this isn't something I want people to find out about." She said and the asari nodded.

"I understand. Although, you know that Philip would understand too, right?" She asked and Sarah sighed.

"Yeah but… I just don't want more people to know than absolutely necessary." She admitted and Tia nodded.

"I get that. So… That story you guys were telling me before, about your parents meeting…"

"My mom was being chased by Saren's agents…" Lia started and Sarah couldn't help but smile. What did it matter if she kept herself distanced from Tiberius? As he himself had said, she was no longer such a loner.


	8. Chapter Eight - The Worst Day of the Yea

**AN: Thanks to everyone who has favourited, followed and double thanks to everyone who has reviewed.**

**Special thanks goes to my beta Spyke1985! You're the best!**

**Also, just wanted to say that I did warn you guys that this would have a slower update schedule than SYA but in return you guys get longer and (hopefully) better chapters so this is just a thank you for your patience and another thank you for reading and caring about the characters and their story.**

**Side note: Two Noah and the Whale songs this chapter because they rock. :D**

**Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Eight – The Worst Day of the Year**

"_Oh when I look to the shape of my heart,_

_It's separated only by scars,_

_That cut in and cut out,_

_Oh and leave me without,_

_Oh a heart that functions at all._

_And when I look to the shape of the sky,_

_I give thanks for this hollow chest of mine;_

_That I no longer feel,_

_The great weight of ordeals,_

_That can make this life so unkind._

_Oh and if there's any love in me,_

_Don't let it show._

_Oh and if there's any love in me,_

_Don't let it gro-_"

"I didn't know you could sing." Tia's voice startled Sarah, causing her to spin around, blushing. Lia smiled at the sight.

"Get used to it. Whenever she thinks no one's watching or she gets too caught up in her work, she starts to sing. It's actually really annoying." She told the asari, causing Sarah to pull a face.

"Thanks for that." She said, sarcastically.

"So, why are you so dressed up?" Tia asked, indicating to the fact that Sarah had been in the middle of trying to tame her crazy long, thick hair, and Lia grinned.

"She's got a lunch date today." She informed Tia who also began to grin.

"So, Tal actually asked her out?" She asked and the quarian nodded.

"Yep. The second day I stayed here with you guys. I thought she was going to turn him down, to be honest." She said, shrugging.

"Hello? I'm right here." Sarah pointed out as she ran a brush through her hair, just willing it to look reasonable.

"So, why didn't you turn him down?" Tia asked and Sarah shrugged. There was no way she was telling them that she had simply been too distracted by the fact that Tiberius had seemingly been avoiding her to really comprehend what the handsome quarian had been asking her. Although, it did seem like a good idea. She wasn't really interested in anything with any _real_ feelings involved, but Tal would leave soon enough, so there was no chance of anything long-term anyway.

"Who knows with Sarah? I could never figure her out and I've been trying for as long as I can remember." Lia teased, causing Sarah to throw her a death glare.

"Do I look okay?" She asked them and they both shook their heads.

"No, you look terrible." Tia said, her tone completely deadpan.

"Yeah, I wouldn't want to be seen in public with you." Lia joined in and Sarah shook her head.

"I hate both of you." She told them, before Lia headed out the door.

"I'd better not keep the guys waiting. See you later!" She said as she left the apartment. As soon as she was out of earshot, Sarah huffed with frustration as she inspected her hair in the mirror. It was too long and thick to do anything except tie it up which she did every day anyway. Tia gave her a sympathetic look, before taking the brush from her.

"Here, let me have a go." She volunteered and Sarah huffed in agreement.

"Thanks." She said, before looking down at her outfit. It was the one dress that she owned. It was light blue and floor-length, only kept from trailing across the carpet by her heeled boots. It was made of a light material that didn't cling to her skin and left a reasonable amount of room to maneuver. She hated it, but the only other clothes she owned were the jeans and tops that she wore every day. She had never really had a reason to dress up before, and she kept pulling at the fabric, worrying it endlessly in her discomfort.

"No problem, just stop fidgeting." The asari said as she pulled Sarah's hair away from her face, thankfully not disturbing her fringe.

"Lia's right, you know… With her teasing, I mean. I'm really bad at all of this girly stuff." Sarah admitted, as Tia frowned a little.

"Did your mom not teach you all of this stuff?" She asked and Sarah shrugged, earning her a whack from the asari.

"Sorry, I'll try to keep still. But no, not really. Neither of us are particularly girly. Don't get me wrong, she wouldn't let me go out looking less than decent; but neither of us are girly girls. We're both more comfortable in combat boots, I guess." She admitted and Tia frowned again as she grabbed a bobble and began to tie Sarah's hair loosely at her shoulders.

"Sarah, you never wear combat boots. You only ever wear heels. In fact, you wear them so much that you walk on your toes." She pointed out and Sarah had to stop herself from shaking her head as Tia grabbed a blue ribbon.

"These are combat boots. Kind of. I modified them so they blend in and have a bit of a heel. But they're super comfy and I can fight in them." She said, as Tia finished tying up her hair and placed the loose ponytail so that it fell down over her shoulder.

"There you are." She said and Sarah grinned at her.

"Tia, you are a life saver." She told the asari, who smiled in response before frowning a little.

"Do you always think about that?" She asked, causing Sarah to give her a confused look.

"About what?" She asked and Tia sighed in response.

"Fighting. Do you always want to be prepared?" She asked and Sarah nodded.

"Yeah. Some habits are hard to break, I guess." She said and the asari nodded in understanding.

"I know what you mean. I don't like to leave the apartment without my gun." She admitted and Sarah gave her a questioning look.

"I thought tech was more your thing than weapons." She said and Tia shrugged, her gaze becoming distant.

"I wasn't always that way. I only really discovered my talent for tech after I joined C-Sec." She told Sarah, who frowned a little.

"You know, you keep telling me that I should just tell Philip about my past so that I'm not keeping things from my friends but you're not exactly open with your own." She told the asari, who sighed.

"I keep telling you that you should tell him your _identity_, not your past. Trust me, he understands wanting to distance yourself from your family to avoid judgment. It's different for me. I... I'm of the belief that the past doesn't define you. I've made some mistakes and I was lucky enough to be given a second chance. Is it so bad that I just want to leave my mistakes behind me?" She asked and Sarah sighed as she realized that her friend was looking for an honest answer.

"No, I understand. Trust me, I've done some things that I'm... Less than proud of. Hell, I was downright ruthless at times." Sarah admitted and Tia nodded in agreement.

"I'm making an effort to move on. We all are, I think." She told Sarah as the door beeped. "That'll be Philip." She said, moving away before Sarah could reply to her earlier statement.

"Hey gu- Well, _hello _there, Sarah. What are you all prettied up for?" He asked before blushing a little. "Not that you're not normally- I mean... Just that-" He stammered and she smiled at him kindly, taking pity.

"I get it, it's weird seeing me in a dress." She joked as they left the apartment. "Can we please just talk about something other than my date? It's making me nervous." She admitted and Philip frowned.

"Wait, 'date'? What date? With who?" He demanded and she raised an eyebrow at him.

"Tal asked me out a few days back. I said yes. Hence the date." She told him and he folded his arms.

"I'm telling you, I don't like that guy. He's shifty." He said and Sarah shook her head.

"Well, you don't like Red either, and he and I get on just fine, so I think that I'll be ignoring your advice on this one. No offense." She joked and he sighed before frowning, looking around.

"Wait, didn't you used to walk to work with Smiley? How come you're not now?" He asked and Sarah shrugged.

"This place is out of his way. It makes more sense for me to meet him at work." She lied. In truth, it _was_ out of his way, but she was sure that if he hadn't been avoiding her, he would have still made the trip.

"It's more than just that, isn't it?" Tia observed and Sarah sighed in response.

"I don't know. He's been keeping to himself more than usual." She admitted, knowing that if they could hear her sub-harmonics they would know exactly how much uncertainty and upset this was causing in her.

"Who the hell knows with that guy." Philip said, shaking his head before grinning at Sarah. "But don't worry, you've still got us." He told her and she grinned back. Looking on the bright side was not one of her skills, but Philip was right and Tiberius could fuck off for all she cared. She had other friends and could live without him.

Sarah was surprised when she was greeted at HQ by Tiberius. She hadn't really seen him while they had been finishing up the paperwork for their investigation.

"I've got our new assignment. Patrol work." He told her and her sub-harmonics trilled with disbelief and a little anger. He doesn't talk to her for almost a week and then he drops _that_ on her? How was that fair?

"Are you forgetting something?" She asked him, hoping that he hadn't really been so insensitive.

"No, we're patrolling the catwalks." He told her and she frowned.

"The what? We have catwalks?" She asked and he let his sub-harmonics trill with a little impatience at her ignorance of the Citadel.

"Yes. There are catwalks above every ward. Those things that you climb over to get everywhere?" He reminded her and she realized what he meant.

"Oh right, I guess I never really thought about them..." She admitted and Philip chuckled a little.

"So is that how you appear like a ninja all the time?" He asked and she shrugged.

"I guess. It's just a good way to avoid the crowds." She admitted, though Tia was frowning.

"It's pretty boring work. Nothing ever happens on the catwalks." She pointed out and Tiberius fixed her with a glare before replying.

"I couldn't get another assignment." He said, his voice betraying no emotion, though his eyes were telling the asari that she should drop it.

"Okay, so let's head out then." Sarah said, earning her a look from Tiberius.

"In that?" He asked her and she fixed him with a glare of her own. _Two can play at this game_, she thought.

"Yes. _In this_. Problem?" She asked curtly. He didn't move an inch.

"It's not very practical." He told her, his tone slightly reprimanding.

"If I couldn't fight in it, I wouldn't be wearing it." She told him tersely and he finally nodded.

"Fine. Just don't mess up, Sarah." He told her before heading out, leaving her feeling strangely empty except for a lump in her throat. She couldn't understand why he was pushing her away like that. Did he blame her for losing the investigation?

"What happened to 'Blue'?" Tia asked her and Sarah steeled her expression, clamping down hard on her sub-harmonics. She would be damned before she let on to anyone how much Tiberius' actions were hurting her.

"I don't know..." Sarah said, honestly, before leaving to follow Tiberius.

* * *

Tiberius didn't say more than two words to Sarah as they patrolled. There wasn't really anything _to_ say, but she still sensed that this wasn't the companionable silence of two friends who hated to waste words. This was a tense silence of two people who had everything to say and the stubbornness to stay quiet about it. It was oppressive and distracting and it was doing nothing but stressing her out. So, she tried to distract herself by listening to music, but it wasn't really helping.

Finally, she decided that she couldn't stay silent any longer.

"Look, Red, I'm sorry. That we got pulled off the case." She told him and he shook his head.

"Sarah, I'm not mad." He told her, but she wasn't convinced. Tia was right; he had stopped calling her Blue.

"I... Look, it wasn't fair of the Executor to pull us off the case! We were so damn close!" She told him, allowing her frustration to show through her sub-harmonics but he remained stoic.

"It doesn't matter now." He told her simply and she wanted to hit something. How could he stay so damn_ calm_?! She thought, before she made an effort to calm herself. Getting mad would accomplish nothing.

"It might, actually. I remember most of the intel. I have a good memory and I spent enough hours pouring over it for most of it to sink in. If I could just figure out what I missed, we could take it to the Executor and she might let us back on the case." She told him and he sighed with frustration.

"Did you not learn your lesson last time? We don't go against regulations. We got taken off the case. Just deal with it and move on." He told her, his tone unnecessarily harsh.

"Fine. I will." She said quietly, not trusting her voice to not crack if she spoke any louder. After that they returned to the oppressive silence that made her plates itch beneath her skin.

When they finally stopped for lunch, she could have cried with relief. She was extremely glad that it was her afternoon off and that she wouldn't have to return.

So, to say that she was distracted when she met Tal would be an understatement.

"You're here already? Am I late? I _knew_ I was running late! We were patrolling on the other side of the ward and I didn't know that we would be and then I-" She was stopped by the sight of him smiling as he touched her shoulder. She bit down hard on her lip to stop herself from reacting badly to his touch, as he had caught her off-guard.

"Sarah, it's fine. I haven't been here long." He told her with a reassuring tone and she took a deep breath, trying to not feel so frazzled.

"I'm sorry. It's been a long day already and I haven't even had lunch." She told him and he smiled.

"Well then let's fix that, shall we?" He said as he took her arm, and she blushed a little. She wasn't used to this kind of contact with anyone, and wasn't sure how to proceed. But, she was determined to learn.

* * *

"-and then I guess she was too tired or something because she just... And, you're not listening, are you?" Tal asked, pulling Sarah out of her daze. She immediately felt guilty. He had taken her to a really nice place that served her favourite quarian dishes, but she had barely touched her food.

"I'm really sorry. Today's been a really bad day and I guess I'm just distracting..." She said before frowning, resting her head in her hands. "I was going for 'distracted'... I'm sorry." She said and he smiled softly, although she couldn't see it as she refused to look at him.

"So, what's got you so distracted?" He asked and she groaned internally. There was _no way_ she was going to admit that she had been thinking about how Tiberius had been acting that morning. His weird behaviour had completely thrown her, and now she was having a tough time thinking about anything else. And even for the brief moments when she could focus on anything else, all that occupied her mind was the overwhelming feeling that she should be _somewhere else_.

"Just... A bad day at work. That's all." She told him, sighing as she finally lifted her head from her hands.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked and she shook her head, sighing.

"No, it's alright. I just..."

"Don't really want to be here?" He finished, his tone filled with understanding.

"No!" She quickly replied before resting her head in her hands again. What was wrong with her? Here was this perfectly handsome, caring guy, and she just couldn't bring herself to think of him as anything more than a friend. "I... I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me." She told him and he gave her a reassuring smile.

"Nothing is wrong with you." He said and she laughed hollowly.

"Apart from a few loose screws." She joked before shaking her head. "Actually, scratch that. I don't think I have one screw fully tightened." She told him and his lips quirked upwards into a smile.

"It's fine. Really." He told her. "Do you need a lift anywhere?" He asked, sensing that the date was over. She shook her head.

"I think I'm just going to walk home, go to bed and pretend today never happened." She told him honestly, ignoring the fact that by Citadel time, it was still early afternoon. "I really am sorry." She told him and he shook his head again.

"Sarah, it's fine. Really." He told her, seemingly sincere. Which only made her feel worse. Why was she incapable of liking this perfectly... Well, _perfect_ guy? "I'll see you around." He said and she nodded. Although she figured that she would be perfectly happy to never see him again and just forget that it had ever happened. Whatever _it_ was...

She needed a drink, she decided as she walked home. She was still distracted, her mind refusing to focus on where she was going, so it wasn't all that surprising when she walked into a huge, hulking, wall of krogan.

"Oh, sorry I- Mordin! Boy, am I glad to see you!" She cried and the krogan looked at her, a little confused.

"Pix? What the hell is wrong with you? And what are you wearing?" He asked and she laughed.

"I'll tell you over some ryncol." She promised him, hoping that copious amounts of alcohol would wash away the incessant feeling of something just beyond her comprehension, desperately crying out for her attention.

* * *

"So, long story short, I ran out of there and I have no idea why… I just… I had this overwhelming feeling that I was meant to be somewhere else… Does that make any sense, or have I finally lost it?" Sarah asked the krogan as they sat on the roof of her apartment. She was feeling suffocated by her dress and they were already through half of the small bottle of ryncol. She didn't want to get blitzed off her face... Well, she might. She hadn't really decided on the best course of action to rid herself of the memories of the day. The classic was to drink enough ethanol to cleanse her memory engrams, but she knew that that course would only end in a really shitty hangover. But no other ideas were coming to mind.

"What do you mean finally?" Mordin joked and she threw him a glare as she took another swig of booze. She figured her robust metabolism could handle it.

"Har har. Seriously, Mordin. I have no idea what happened…" She told him, feeling a little lost.

"Really? It's kind of obvious." He said and she fixed him with a glare.

"Well then enlighten me because I have no fucking clue." She demanded, her sub-harmonics trilling with anger and frustration directed at herself.

"You've bonded to someone." He told her simply, causing her to do a spit-take, something she had been certain only happened in bad sit-coms.

"What?! That's bullshit!" She exclaimed, as she wiped her mouth, as he simply shrugged.

"How else do you explain it?" He asked and she shook her head.

"No, no, no, nononono. _No_." She said and he laughed a little. "Mordin, this isn't funny! I don't... I can't... I mean... There's no way I wouldn't have noticed this. I mean, how does something like this slip by?" She asked and he shook his head.

"You really _are_ oblivious, aren't you?" He asked and she shrugged.

"Well, yeah, but this is ridiculous even by my standards… I mean, there's _no_ way. I would have..." Except she had. She had noticed her strange reactions and... Her stomach seemed to fall away as she suddenly felt gripped with the shock of her realization. "_Red_..." She whispered and her heart tugged at her, confirming what she already knew. Somewhere along the way, the quiet turian had become closer to her than anyone outside of her family ever had. And then, without her realizing it, those feelings of friendship had evolved into something much, much _more_. Somehow, unbeknown to her, she had fallen for him. And she had fallen _hard_.

"So, what are you going to do?" Mordin asked her as she shook her head.

"Nothing. I'm going to ignore him. I'll keep my distance and hope that this goes away." She reasoned stubbornly, folding her arms across her chest.

"This isn't going to go away, Pix. We both know that you're more turian than human. If you've bonded, then you've _bonded_." He told her and she shook her head, refusing to believe the truth that was staring her in the face.

"No." She said, unyielding. "Fifty percent of my DNA is human. I will just keep away until my feelings go away and I move on." She reasoned, her tone resolute.

"You know, for a reasonably intelligent person, you're really dumb sometimes. Even humans fall in love." He told her and she fixed him with another glare.

"Shut up. This is just because I spend all of my time with him. If I don't then I'll stop feeling this way." Her logic sounded flawed even to her ears, but she kept on, determined to ignore what was plainly in front of her.

"It can't be just that you spend all of your time together." Mordin said, causing her to frown. "You must be attracted to him."

"Well, yeah." She admitted. It wasn't her fault that she found the tall, dark, and mysterious thing downright sexy.

"And he likes you for you." Mordin continued and she shifted her gaze to the floor.

"That's why he's my best friend." She reasoned, not wanting her feelings to extend past that point.

"And you're comfortable enough around him to voluntarily tell him all of your secrets." He kept going, but she shook her head at that point, finding one, small thing in the favor of her bullheadedness.

"Not all of my secrets…" She told him. How could she tell him her last secret? Even now, when he thought that she was human... He probably wouldn't like her like that. It was impossible to think that he would like her if he knew what she really was. Impossible that he could be attracted to her... It had been different with Rael. He had known her secret his entire life. Plus, he had been at that age where teenage boys would screw anyone willing. Despite Lia's assertions, Sarah was sure that he had never _actually_ liked her... How could he?

"Face it Pix, this won't just go away." He told her and she shook her head.

"Just… Shut up…" She said as she took another drink. "Talk about something else. Anything else..." She said and he nodded, seeing how upset she was.

"Is this why you're sticking around here?" He asked and she frowned.

"No, I'm sticking around because I like it here." She told him and he snorted.

"Come on, Pix. We both know that you're meant for more than this." He told her and she shook her head.

"Not this shit again, Mordin." She groaned and he laughed a little.

"You can't run from destiny, _Shepard_." He said and she fixed him with a glare.

"_Don't call me that._" She hissed at him, which only made him laugh more. "You know that I hate that." She told him, pulling her knees up to her chest.

"Pix, I thought that you had finally decided to accept it." He reasoned, but she shook her head.

"Mordin, I was upset and running from my problems. It was a coping mechanism for me, not a decision to embrace my... _Destiny_." She spat the last word as if it were cursed and he shook his head, giving her a confused look.

"I know that you don't believe in the old krogan legends, even if you have seen them for yourself-"

"No, Mordin. I haven't seen shit. My parents have corresponding brainwave patterns that allowed a limited, short-range telepathic bond to form when they were both under stress. That's it. All of this 'Blood Tied' stuff is just superstitious nonsense." She told him, a little bitterly. She had heard enough about her 'destiny' to last a lifetime and she wanted no more of it.

"I know, you think it's all a load of bull. Especially the part about the children of Blood Tied couples becoming the greatest war-"

"Mordin! Just leave it alone! I'm not a great warrior, okay? Hell, I am naturally shit. What skills I have are the result of three years of fear and trauma ruling my life. I don't have that natural ability my parents do. I can't enter a battle and calculate every detail into a strategy. I rely on pure instinct and it's not enough." She told him but he shook his head.

"It's more than enough, Pix. Your instincts are good. Just because you rely on them more than most, doesn't make you a bad soldier. It makes you a better one." He tried to explain, but she shook her head.

"No. I am _not_ a soldier, Mordin. Never have been. My inability to think before I act under stress does nothing but hurt those I'm supposed to protect. But, you know what? I'm okay with that. Because what I _am_ is a damn good scientist. That may not be impressive or worthy in the eyes of the krogan, but it's who I am. I... I don't think that I'm sticking around here, even." She admitted and he frowned.

"Sarah, I've never known you to run from anything. Why this?" He asked and she shook her head.

"But I _did_ run, Mordin. You might not see it that way, but I sure as hell do. I ran from Harry, didn't I? The people closest to me tend to get hurt. I... I couldn't bear it if that happened to Red. He deserves better than a freak anyway..." She muttered into her drink and the krogan sighed.

"_Ah_." He said, knowingly and she threw him a glare.

"Don't. Just don't, okay?" She said and he nodded, suddenly understanding why she was so upset. "You're off by a day." She told him, sensing what he was thinking.

"By Citadel Time, maybe, but not by Earth Standard Time, I think." He told her and she frowned.

"Just don't..." She repeated and he paused for several moments before saying it anyway.

"Happy birthday, Pixie."

"Fuck you."

* * *

"She can't still be out with Tal, can she?" Tiala asked the quarian who was currently sat in her kitchen.

"No, Tal messaged and said that it hadn't gone so well." Lia told her and the asari frowned.

"You don't seem too concerned about her disappearing act." She observed and Lia shrugged.

"I _am_ concerned. Or, rather, I was. I thought that we'd have until tomorrow, at least. But I also thought she might be a bit more stupid than usual so I had Mordin keep an eye on her. He met up with her after her date went south and he's making sure she's okay." She told Tia who folded her arms.

"Wait, I'm missing something here. What is it?" She asked and the quarian sighed.

"Sarah... She doesn't do well on-" They were interrupted by the door beeping. Tia went to answer it and found Mordin standing on the other side with a passed out Sarah in his arms.

"Keelah, what happened?" Lia asked, as the krogan dumped the sleeping girl on the sofa.

"She..." He started but stopped, unsure of how much he should tell the other two. He was certain that Sarah would not like the fact that she had fallen in love with her best friend to become public knowledge. "She's had a bad day." He finished and Tia narrowed her eyes at him.

"This bad day wouldn't have anything to do with a certain turian, would it?" She asked and the krogan's body language told her everything she needed to know.

"Excuse me, I have to go and kill someone..." She muttered as she grabbed her coat and left the apartment.

* * *

Tiberius paused as he was packing his things, his gaze resting on a wrapped up box beside his other belongings. He briefly let himself be pulled into his memories.

"_Did you always want to join C-Sec?" The girl next to him asked, having grown bored now that she had finished reading whatever had been so fascinating on her data-pad._

"_No. I didn't really know what I wanted to do when I was younger. Then we got told that after Basic we could be transferred to C-Sec instead of serving in the military. They were still having trouble building up the ranks." He explained and she nodded._

"_After three large-scale attacks, one resulting in the complete destruction of the station, you can see why people wouldn't want to work security here." She said and he nodded._

"_Indeed. But it seemed safer than the military and I thought that it would worry my mom less. She seemed to spend all of her time worrying about me." He said softly and she placed a hand on his arm. She wasn't a very tactile person, and neither was he, but lately they had both been less bothered about physical contact with the other._

"_I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up bad memories." She said and he shook his head._

"_Not bad memories. Just old and forgotten ones." He clarified before continuing. "What about you? I know that you didn't always want to join C-Sec."_

"_No. I was always fascinated by xeno-biology. Specifically, genetics. That's what I had planned on going to university to study." She said, indicating to the data-pad._

"_Is that what you were reading?" He asked and she nodded._

"_I... It's a genetics textbook. University level." She explained, smiling a little._

"_You still want to leave, then?" He asked and she shrugged._

"_I guess. Eventually. I don't know. Being here has reminded me that I didn't lose everything. I guess this is something that wasn't lost." She explained and he nodded, hating it when she talked about leaving. As if it were inevitable._

"_So why did you want to become a geneticist in the first place? It seems like a weird thing for a kid to want to do. Although I guess some of the obvious ones like 'Spectre' were always out of the equation." He said and she froze for a second, something he noticed she did when she was hiding something. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." He said, his sub-harmonics trilling with reassurance._

"_I'm sorry. I don't mean to keep secrets." She told him. She was lying and he knew it, but he also knew that she wished it was the truth so he let it slide._

"_I just meant that if you're good at biology, the obvious choice would be 'doctor'. Isn't that always the case?" He asked and she laughed a little._

"_Me? A doctor?" She asked, incredulously. "I think that that would require some semblance of bedside manner." She pointed out before sobering up. "You want to know the real reason?" She asked softly and he placed his hand on her shoulder in a gesture of reassurance and comfort._

"_You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." He said but she shook her head._

"_It's okay. The truth is, I hate hospitals." She said after pausing for a few moments._

"_Blue, if you don-" He started but she cut him off._

"_No... It's just not something I've ever told anyone." She admitted. "They've always freaked me out. I never liked the idea of being locked in one. That was a big fear for me when I was little."_

"_Being locked in a hospital?" He asked, a little confused. It was certainly one of the strangest childhood phobias he had ever heard, simply because it was so unlikely. Why would she ever be locked in a hospital?_

"_Yeah, I know. But it really terrified me. Still does, I guess. You remember what I told you about my friend Harry?" She asked and he nodded._

"_Of course."_

"_We... We did visit Earth three times before I went to hunt down the people who hurt him. I just... I wasn't ready. I wasn't strong enough." She told him and he placed a comforting hand on her arm before she continued. "I... I would go to the hospital and I wouldn't be able to go inside. Hell, I even used to climb up to the window of his room -there was a little balcony on that floor and it wasn't that high up- and not be able to go set foot inside the walls of the hospital, but not able to leave because, if I left, it would have felt like I was failing him. I guess I failed him anyway..."_

"_It's okay, Blue." He told her softly and she nodded._

"_I guess by most definitions, standing outside the hospital room of your comatose friend is a pretty crappy way to spend your birthday, huh?" She joked, humorlessly._

"_Is that why you were on Earth?" He asked and she nodded._

"_Yeah. We'd always go to visit my grandparents on my birthday. And I would always slip away to visit him. I kept thinking that it wasn't fair. That if I hadn't been there, he wouldn't have been hurt. I know that there is no point in thinking like that but on a day that's meant to celebrate my birth... Well, it's hard not to." She admitted before smiling. "Anyway, let's talk about something else..." She said and he nodded, silently promising to himself that he wouldn't let her next birthday be as bad as those that had come before it._

He was pulled from his thoughts by what sounded like a kakliosaur was trying to batter his door down. He opened it to see a small asari standing on the other side, her features flooded with fury.

"What the hell, Tiberius?" She hissed at him as she barged past him and into his apartment.

"Tia? What are you doing here? It's the middle of the night. You know, relatively..." He stopped talking as she gave him the death glare.

"Don't even start with me!" She warned. "What the hell was with you today? You were nothing short of an asshole to Sarah. I know that you don't like making friends Smiley but, Goddess, what on Thessia did she do to deserve that?" She asked and he shook his head.

"She didn't do anything..." He muttered and Tia gave him an incredulous look.

"Then why the hell are you pushi- _Oh, Smiley_..." Her voice suddenly became full of sympathy as he sat down on the sofa and she sat opposite him.

"Don't, Tia. Just don't." He said and she sighed, shaking her head.

"You've fallen for her, haven't you?" She asked gently and he groaned in response.

"No. That's not... Look, I just _can't_ have..." He said lamely, earning him another sympathetic look from the asari.

"Keep telling yourself that and I'm _sure_ it'll just go away." She said sarcastically and he growled with frustration in response.

"I just... _Dammit_, Tia. I do _not_ like Sarah like that!" He protested and Tia just gave him a disbelieving look.

"If you're going to lie, at least do it convincingly." She told him and he shook his head.

"Look, How could I... I mean, she's stubborn and hot-headed and has no ability to think before she acts!" He exclaimed and Tia just smiled at him, knowingly.

"And you love her anyway, don't you?" She asked and he sighed, shaking his head.

"Tia, _please_ just leave it alone." He pleaded, wishing that he could just erase his feelings for Sarah. He wished that his heart didn't leap to his throat every time she touched him and that her scent didn't linger when she brushed past him. But it did, and it was becoming increasingly difficult to pretend that that wasn't the case.

"Wow, you've full-on bonded, haven't you?" She asked, still smiling as if amused.

"I'm glad you're finding this so funny, but this is serious, Tia." He groaned and she nodded.

"I know. It's just that... Whenever anyone talks about love, you and Sarah say that neither of you want anything to do with it. That it's 'too dangerous' or that it's 'nothing but trouble'. And yet, here you are. I just find it ironic, is all." She reasoned and he shook his head.

"But that's exactly my point! Neither of us... _Spirits_, this is such a mess..." He muttered and Tia folded her arms.

"I hate to be the one to point out the obvious but you _could_ just, you know, _tell_ her." She said, rolling her eyes as Tiberius narrowed his.

"Look, Tia, if you're going to delve into hypocrisy, you might as well leave." He told her and she glared at him.

"I'm not the one alienating my best friend." She pointed out and he sighed.

"I just... If there's one thing that she and I both agree on, it's that we don't _want_ this kind of relationship. Plus, she's hum-"

"Oh, don't start with _that_ bullshit, Tiberius. You know as well as I do that that wouldn't bother her. It probably wouldn't even cross her mind as a problem." She said and he shook his head.

"I didn't mean it like that. I may have bonded to her, but we both know that humans -or, hell, even asari or any other species- can be more... _Fickle_ with their emotions for each other. If she doesn't want this, then she's in a much better position to ignore it." He said and Tia folded her arms, thinking of how to phrase what she was going to say next.

"She's not telling you everything." She finally said and he gave her a questioning look, his sub-harmonics chiming in, despite the fact that she couldn't hear them. "She's not telling me everything either, but there's only so much you can keep from the person you live with. Let's just say, I don't think that will be a problem with her."

"Am I allowed to cite her keeping secrets as a reason why this wouldn't work?" He asked, attempting to lace his voice with humor but it simply came out as hollow.

"No. We both know that, despite her secrets, you trust her." She said, before regarding him for a few moments. "So, what are you going to do?"

"The way I figure it, if I keep my distance then everything will go back to normal." He said and she couldn't help but snort in response.

"Sorry Smiles, but that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard." She said and he shrugged.

"Maybe. But it's all I've got." He said and they lapsed into silence. She glanced around the room before frowning.

"You're leaving?" She asked as she noticed his suitcase.

"Just for a few weeks. Thought I might visit my grandparents. I haven't really seen them since... Well, I just figured that it was about time." He told her and she frowned at him.

"You're running away." It wasn't a question. He sighed, picking up his things.

"I'm going to be late." He told her and she nodded, realizing that he had ended the conversation.

"What's this?" She asked as he headed out of the door, her hand resting on a small, wrapped-up box that she had spotted.

"It's... A promise I made. A promise I broke." He told Tia, before clarifying. "It's a birthday present for Blue. I bought it a few weeks back. Before I realized... Hell, I should have probably realized when I saw it and thought of her but... Just, do me a favor? Make sure she gets it." He told her and she nodded, picking it up.

"You're going to leave without saying goodbye, aren't you?" She asked and he sighed.

"I... I just can't. I'll be back soon." He told her as he left.

"You better be." She said to his back, wishing that she had someway of getting them both to just stop running.

* * *

"_Oh place your hands, _

_On my heart,_

_Oh I do believe it's beating,_

_At the same pulse as yours,_

_We're two atoms in a molecule,_

_Inseparably combined,_

_Oh like a piece of rope,_

_Made out of two pieces of vine._

_Oh I feel the bond,_

_Oh between your heart and mine,_

_And it's the bond that won't break,_

_With the displacement of time._

_Cos we're just,_

_Two Bodies with just one Heart,_

_We're just,_

_One body that one day fell apart..._"

Tia returned to the apartment in the early hours of the morning (after many hours of wandering around aimlessly in an attempt to think of a way to help her friend) to find Sarah sitting in the kitchen listening to music and cradling a cup of coffee in her hands.

"Hey." She said tentatively, silently impressed that Sarah was already up and seemed to have her wits about her. She even had her visor on, although Tia was pretty sure that she hadn't seen her without it for more than a few moments at a time.

"Hey." She replied. "Mordin tell you what happened last night?" She asked as the asari sat down next to her.

"I guessed. And then I decided to give Tiberius a talking to." She admitted and Sarah gave her a look that suggested that she wasn't sure if she should be thanking her friend or reprimanding her.

"What did you say?" She asked, finally.

"Nothing much." The asari lied. "But he did give me this to pass on." She said, handing Sarah the box.

Sarah opened the box carefully, in a sort of daze. She hadn't told anyone that it had been her birthday. She had hoped to avoid it. In all honesty, she had forgotten about it until she had glanced at the date on her omni-tool while waiting for Mordin to pick up the booze the night before. It wasn't as if she had anything to look forward to.

And, yet, she did. Red had remembered, and not only that, but he'd gone out of his way to get her a gift. She'd thought that being pulled from the investigation had ruined their friendship, but now it suddenly looked a hell of a lot more salvageable.

Inside the box she found a charm bracelet with two charms attached. Two half hearts. One red and one blue.

Her heart had seemed to lodge itself in her throat and her sub-harmonics trilled in a way that was all too familiar. It was the way her parents sounded when they were together, or thinking about each other. She had fallen in love with Tiberius and she had fallen hard, but in that moment, it suddenly didn't seem like a bad thing.

She had to see him.

"Tia, I have to-" She managed but the way the asari's face became downcast stopped her from continuing.

"He left, Sarah." She told her.

"What do you mean, he _left_?" She asked, her voice not coming out as more than a whisper.

"Just that. He's gone to visit his grandparents and he doesn't know when he'll be back."

And just like that, it was a bad thing again.

"He's still mad at me, isn't he?" She asked softly and the asari moved over to pull her into her arms.

"No, Sarah. He's mad at himself." She told her but Sarah didn't believe her. "You two deserve each other, you know that, right?" Tia joked before Sarah gave her a questioning look. "Every time either of you realizes just how close you let the other get, you run away from it. _You_ ran into the arms of another man and _he_ ran off to visit his family. But he _will_ pull his head out of his ass, just as you seem to have done. And then he _will_ come back. I promise." Tia told her, but Sarah shook her head, placing the bracelet back in the box.

"Tia... I just can't, okay? I'm not waiting around for him like he's the only guy in the world. If he wants to act like this, let him. It's not my problem." She said, closing the box.

She didn't mean it.

But she wanted to.


	9. Chapter Nine - The Most Excellent Friend

**AN: Thanks to everyone who has favourited, followed and double thanks to everyone who has reviewed.**

**Special thanks goes to my beta Spyke1985! You're the best!**

**I'm on a bit of an updating spree today. :D**

**Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Nine – The Most Excellent Friends**

Sarah sat at Tia's desk, trying her best not to pester the poor asari in her bored state. But she was finding it really difficult to sit still.

She missed Tiberius. Badly.

As much as she wanted to ignore that fact and swear that she wasn't bothered by the distance, she couldn't. She would work alone, patrolling the catwalks by herself. She spent most of her time plugged into music, trying to ignore the oppressive silence that did nothing, except remind her of his absence. In truth, she was sure that even if he was still there, she would remain silent. Knowing that if she opened her mouth in his presence, all of her feelings would tumble out in a bumbling, awkward confession that would leave what was left of their friendship unsalvageable.

So, she had taken to annoying Tia or Philip when she had some free time, and today it was the asari's turn to put up with Sarah's attempts to get on with her work without her mind distracting her with old memories that made her heart jump into her throat.

"Sarah, why don't you just _tell_ him when he gets back? He should only be gone for another couple of weeks." Tia said for the thousandth time, as Sarah swung in her chair.

"I can't! I… I just want to _stop _feeling like this. I don't want to go out with him or whatever…" Sarah told her and the asari sighed, shaking her head. As much as she wanted to help, Sarah was beginning to get on her last nerve with her whiny crap.

"Then do something productive to distract yourself! Weren't you going to try and get put back on your case?" She asked, sighing.

"It was Red's case and there's really no point to trying if he doesn't want to. Plus, he's not even here..." She explained and Tia gave her an exasperated look.

"Then just do it anyway. Or find yourself another distraction. Because right now you're driving _me_ to distraction. And I deal with distractions with an omni-blade." She warned and Sarah held up her hands in surrender.

"Okay, sorry. I'm just bored." Sarah told her and the asari sighed.

"I _know_." The she said, rolling her eyes, as Philip walked in the room.

"Hey ladies, s'up?" He asked, earning him a glare from both of them. He just folded his arms and smirked. "Ah. So this is the point at which you've been living with each other for too long and you've started driving each other up the wall." He observed and the two women shifted guiltily as he laughed a little. "I knew it. I _knew_ it would only be a matter of time once Lia left."

"I'm sorry, Tia. I'll try to be less… Mopey. Trust me; it's annoying me as well." Sarah said and Tia nodded in acceptance.

"That's okay, Sarah. I'm sorry that I haven't been very understanding." Tia said and Sarah smiled at her as Philip nodded, clearly pleased with himself for having fixed the girls' problems.

"So, now that you two have stopped bickering, who wants to guess the big news I've got?" He asked and they both fixed him with a look that clearly told him that neither of them were in the mood for guessing games. "Jesus, you two are just PMSing like crazy right now, huh?" He asked, but continued on before either of them could correct him with lessons in either asari or hybrid biology (not that Sarah would have actually told him about her hybrid status over such an inane comment, but she was sure as hell thinking it). "I got a gig for the band!" He announced and they both looked at him, blankly.

"What band?" Tia asked and he frowned at her.

"You know, _our_ band." He said and she raised her eyebrows.

"You mean the band that hasn't existed for months now? That band?" She asked and he just kept grinning.

"Yeah." He said simply and Sarah couldn't help but smile at his upbeat attitude.

"Aren't you forgetting a few things?" Tia asked and he shrugged.

"Like?" He asked and she sighed in frustration.

"Like that Alexa moved away. We no longer have a singer. Plus, even if we did, we haven't practiced in months." She told him and he shook his head dismissively.

"It's fine. Come on, Tia. We know enough songs and you must know someone who can sing." He said and Tia's gaze shifted to Sarah.

"Well…" She said and Sarah fixed her with a death glare.

"_No_." She said firmly, earning her the puppy-dog eyes.

"Come on, Sarah." She said and Sarah just gave her an incredulous look and shook her head.

"Not happening." She told her and Philip frowned as he struggled to follow their argument.

"Wait, Rookie can sing?" He asked and Tia nodded as Sarah shook her head.

"No, she cannot." Sarah said adamantly.

"Yes, she can. And quite well." Tia countered, earning her another glare.

"Come on, Sarah. You'd really be doing me a solid." Philip interjected and Sarah just kept looking at them as if they were crazy.

"Here's a question; why does Philip talk as if he's a rap artist in late twentieth century America? And why haven't we addressed this before?" She asked and Tia just shook her head.

"Stop trying to change the subject." She told her but Sarah kept on.

"Seriously, I'm curious." She said, earning her a look from the asari.

"_Sarah_…" She warned and Sarah sat back in her chair, folding her arms.

"Look, the answer is still no. Stop glaring Tia, I know for a fact that asari can't set you on fire with their mind." She told her, shaking her head. "Here's a point that you two seem to have forgotten; I don't _do_ crowds. Performing on a stage involves crowds. So, that's not happening." She told them and Philip narrowed his eyes at her.

"But you're fine on stage. It's different because the crowd isn't close or surrounding you." He said and she gave Tia a betrayed look.

"Tia! You've been talking about this stuff with Philip?" She asked and the asari shook her head.

"I haven't said a word." She said and Philip shrugged.

"I was just guessing. I figured Tia would never have brought it up if you couldn't do it. But now I know so you have no excuse." He told her, grinning at the idea of winning the argument.

"That doesn't mean that I have to say yes." She pointed out, but he kept grinning.

"But you're going to anyway because I'm your friend and I'm asking nicely and because with Smiley gone you're bored out of your mind and this will be a good distraction." Sarah sighed at that, thinking that her friends knew her a little _too_ well.

"Fine." She eventually sighed. "But you owe me."

"What is this gig anyway?" Tia asked and he grinned at her.

"It's the twenty year anniversary of the end of the Reaper War in a few weeks. They're setting up live music venues and they needed one more band." He told them and Tia narrowed her eyes at him.

"How the hell did you land _that_ gig?" She asked, incredulously.

"Smith is helping to set it up and he owes me a favor." He said and she frowned at him.

"Does this favor have to do with not handing him over to Chellick?" She asked suspiciously and he shrugged.

"Does it matter? Point is, band practice. Tonight." He told them before leaving again. Sarah gave Tia a questioning look.

"I hate to ask this, but are you guys actually any good?" She asked and Tia nodded, sighing.

"Yeah. As much as I would never say it to his face, Philip is actually a good musician." She said and Sarah folded her arms.

"And you?" She asked bluntly.

"He actually taught me. Guitar, anyway. I taught myself piano when I first came here." Sarah just frowned at her, shaking her head.

"Good God, you're a nerd, aren't you? Next I'll find that you're an avid chess player." She joked and Tia blushed.

"Not an _avid_ player per se..." She said and Sarah grinned at her, causing the asari to fold her arms and narrow her eyes. "I'm sorry, 'is addicted to Galaxy of Fantasy'?" She asked and Sarah shrugged.

"I refuse to be ashamed of that. That game is awesome." She said and Tia smiled at her.

"Well, I will say the same about chess." She said and Sarah rolled her eyes before changing the subject.

"So, a band with only three people?" She asked and the asari shrugged.

"The wonders of modern technology mean that we can synthesize the other instruments. Just not a vocalist. At least, not a good one." She said and Sarah nodded.

"So, you'll actually be ready for this thing?" She asked.

"Yeah, we both know enough songs. It's just making sure that _you_ know them." She said and Sarah nodded, sighing. If nothing else, she was no longer thinking about Tiberius, she thought. Or, at least, she hadn't been until that moment. _Crap_...

"Morning, Executor." Tia said as Executor Vakarian walked past the desk.

"Morning Tia. Sarah? What are you doing here?" Her aunt asked and Sarah frowned.

"It's paperwork day. I'm always here on paperwork day." She said and her aunt nodded.

"Right. Of course. Sorry." She said, seeming a little distracted.

"You okay?" Sarah asked and her aunt nodded.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just haven't been sleeping much lately." She admitted and Sarah nodded.

"Yeah, I know the feeling." She said, having not slept properly since Tiberius had left. Her aunt nodded before turning her attention to business.

"Sarah, have you thought any more ab-"

"_No_." Sarah said, cutting her aunt off. "He's coming back in a few weeks. I can handle things by myself until then." She said and her aunt sighed.

"Sarah, it's not my policy to send only one person out on patrol. I would urge you to reconsider. You can take whoever you want with you, just don't go alone." She said and Sarah shook her head.

"Why not? Red was without a partner for months before I showed up." She pointed out.

"And I spent every minute trying to pair him up. Just take _someone_. Please." Her aunt said, her sub-harmonics trilling with concern that made Sarah stop for a moment. _Something_ was going on, she knew that much for certain. Why was her aunt suddenly so concerned for her safety?

"Fine. Wanna go on patrol with me?" She asked Tia who shook her head.

"No. I hate patrol work. Get Philip to go. He needs the excuse to leave HQ." She said and Sarah grinned at her aunt.

"There you go, I'll take Philip with me." She said, the idea appealing to her rebellious streak.

"Fine but if your uncle wants to yell at you about it, I won't stop him." Her aunt said and Sarah wondered when she had found out that Tia had figured out her secret.

"That's okay, Aunt Sol. I'm used to his yelling." She said, smiling with more than a little mischief. She hadn't always been the most well behaved child when she had been to stay with her aunt and uncle.

"Okay then, but you have been warned."

* * *

"So, is this where Philip lives?" Sarah asked as they walked into the apartment building.

"Yeah, but we're not actually practicing in the apartment. That does nothing but piss off the neighbors. His apartment came with an extra space on the roof to store a skycar, and since neither Philip or Smith drive, it's empty. So he converted it into a practice space." Tia explained and Sarah suddenly held up her hands, shaking her head.

"Wait a minute, are you telling me that we're having band practice in his _garage_?" She asked and Tia shrugged.

"I guess that's a reasonable approximation. Why?" She asked and Sarah snorted.

"Nothing. I just feel as if I've been transported into a bad teen vid. Wait, what's your band called? _Please _tell me you're called the Wyld Stallyns." She said and the asari frowned at her.

"No, why would we be called that?" She asked and Sarah sighed.

"No one has any appreciation for the classics..." She muttered, as they arrived in the room that Sarah had to admit was fairly spacious.

"Ladies. Welcome to the Cave of Awesome." He said and Tia frowned at him

"Okay, if we're doing this, you're not calling it that." She said and he sighed, rolling his eyes.

"_Fine_. So, I made a list of songs that we both know. I figured Sarah could look them over and choose the ones that'll be easiest for her to learn." He handed Sarah a data-pad and she was surprised that she knew most of the songs since it had become clear in the last few weeks that she and Tia didn't have the same taste in music. Philip, on the other hand, was apparently a different matter altogether.

"Know that one, don't know that one, love that one, know that one, that one and that one... And there's no way in hell I'm singing _that_ one." She said, going down the list, but Philip stopped her at that.

"Wait, which song are you refusing to sing?" He asked and she folded her arms.

"Well, there are a couple. Here." She highlighted the ones on the list and handed it back to him. His face fell a little as he read them.

"Aw, but that one's always a crowd pleaser. I wanted to open with it, in fact." He said and she shook her head.

"Not happening." She said and he frowned.

"What about this one?"He asked and she shook her head.

"Nope." She said and a wicked grin crossed the human's face. She shook her head as she realized what he was thinking. "I'm serious, Philip. I'm not singing it." She said and he shrugged.

"If you want to be in the band, you have to sing the songs." He reasoned and she frowned at him.

"I _don't_ want to be in the band. I'm doing this as a favor to you." She pointed out and he pouted. He _goddamn pouted _as Tia gave her big puppy dog eyes. She growled as he passed her the microphone.

"_Fine._" She huffed. "But I want the record to show that I hate both of you."

"Duly noted." He told her as he moved towards his guitar, a massive grin across his face, annoying her to no end.

"I could just kill him." She joked to Tia. "No jury would ever convict me."

"You would miss his upbeat attitude." Tia told her, smiling.

"Somehow, I think I would live." She said Philip started to play. She stood awkwardly as the music started, unsure of exactly what she was meant to be doing. Apart from singing, obviously. She was so distracted by trying to figure out how to stand and exactly how far she should hold the microphone from her mouth that she missed her cue to start singing. The other two stopped playing at that and she sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm just not sure what I'm meant to... What am I meant to be doing?" She asked and Tia frowned.

"Singing." She said and Sarah rolled her eyes.

"I mean besides that, Admiral Obvious." She said and Philip frowned.

"Isn't the term Captain Obvious?" He asked and Sarah shrugged.

"That was such a brilliant statement of the obvious I thought it deserved a field promotion." She reason and Philip laughed before indicating for her to pass him the microphone.

"Give it here, I'll show you." He said, as he told Tia to start playing a different song. Sarah watched as he placed the microphone on a stand and started to play. She wondered why she was even needed if he could sing as well as play.

"_Well she wants to be a singer in the band,_

_Maybe I'll give the girl a hand and a microphone,_

_Looks like she's all alone,_

_She can bring a friend though she's not my kind of friend,_

_She keeps staring me out with her black and blue eyes._

_And I can take her dancing just to give the girl a chance,_

_And I was never that good at being nice when I should,_

_I guess that she'll forgive me right before she tries to kill me,_

_Cause I sold her on yesterday's,_

_Come take me home eye..._"

_Well, that explains it_, she thought to herself. He couldn't sing. But that wasn't what he was showing her. Somewhere between the way he stood with confidence and his cheeky grin, he managed to keep her attention perfectly. His stage presence was unmistakable and was exactly what she lacked.

"_And Chelsea said she's got nowhere to go,_

_And if she does she's getting there slow,_

_And I can help her out but I've got somewhere to be,_

_And that's the very thing when your dealing with me,_

_Do do do do do do do do do..._" He grinned at her as he finished and she shook her head.

"This is why you need to get someone else. I can't do that." She told him and he rolled his eyes at her.

"We've got plenty of time to practice, Rookie. Now give it a go." She huffed at that, standing up again.

"When are you going to stop calling me that? It's been months." She told him and he shrugged.

"Who knows? Now stop stalling and start _singing_." He told her and she threw him a death glare before taking the microphone from him.

"Fine. But I still don't like this song." She told him as he started to play again. Tia watched her carefully as she seemed to put all of her effort into loosening her stance.

"_It doesn't hurt me. _

_Do you want to feel how it feels? _

_Do you want to know, know that it doesn't hurt me? _

_Do you want to hear about the deal that I'm making? _

_You, It's you and me. _

_And if I only could, _

_I'd make a deal with God, _

_And I'd get him to swap our places, _

_Be running up that road, _

_Be running up that hill, _

_Be running up that building. _

_Say, If I only could, oh... _

_You don't want to hurt me, _

_But see how deep the bullet lies. _

_Unaware, I'm tearing you asunder. _

_Ooh, There is thunder in our hearts. _

_Is there so much hate for the ones who love?_

_Tell me we both matter, don't we?_

_You, _

_It's you and me, _

_It's you and me who won't be unhappy. _

_And if I only could, _

_I'd make a deal with God, _

_And I'd get him to swap our places, _

_Be running up that road, _

_Be running up that hill, _

_Be running up that building._"

Tia watched closely as Sarah didn't move, but somehow lost the stiffness of before, her eyes glowing with an intensity that Tia had never seen from the young woman before. _She's singing for Tiberius, _the asari realized, and she couldn't help but hope that the turian would return soon. Before Sarah was driven to do something she would regret.

* * *

"What is it with you and roofs?" Philip asked as he and Tia followed her up to the roof of his apartment. "Is this an extension of the dandelion thing?" He asked and Tia frowned.

"What dandelion thing?" She asked.

"Rookie likes dandelions. She 'admires their ability to survive'." He said and she was caught off guard by how well he had remembered their conversation.

"You've got a good memory." She said and he grinned, passing her a beer.

"Well, you gave me every reason to remember." He said, his voice filled with suggestion. She blushed a little in response as she remembered what part of their conversation he was referring to.

"It'll take stronger stuff than this to get me drunk." She told him and Tia sighed.

"I wish the same was true of me." She said ruefully and Sarah grinned at her.

"Tia, between my height and... big bones, I must be almost double your body mass. It's not that surprising that I can handle my booze better than you." She said and Philip smirked.

"Yeah, Tia can barely handle one bottle." He said and the asari stuck her tongue out at him.

"It's not my fault that I'm not as... _Curvy_ as other asari." She said and Philip's grin widened.

"No complaints from me." He said and the two girls shook their heads at him.

"You are such a flirt." Sarah joked before deciding to change the subject. "So, what's with you and recreating high school dramas from the late twentieth century?" She asked and Philip narrowed his eyes at her.

"I'm sorry, which one of us knows all of the theme tune to The Fresh Prince of Bel Air?" He asked and she shrugged.

"Blame my mum. Who will blame my granddad. Who will blame my gran-gran. Who will blame _her_ grandmother, who was probably around to actually remember this shit. I had a lot of free time, growing up." She told him and he frowned.

"Yeah, you didn't actually go to school, did you?" He asked and she shook her head.

"Nope."

"Lucky." He said, sighing. "I... Didn't have an easy time at school. I came from one of the really shitty bits of the city. The kind of place where intolerance is rampant and assholes like the ones who run Cerberus and Terra Firma are praised as heroes." He said bitterly and she frowned slightly. Once upon a time, that kind of bigotry had been beyond her comprehension. But now, she knew better.

"I take it you didn't fit in there?" She asked and he shook his head.

"Not even a little. That's why I left. But being here has shown me what life is _supposed_ to be like. I guess I'm just trying to make the most of it. Seize the day and all that shit." He said and she nodded, realizing that he didn't want to talk about it anymore.

"So, if we both know so much about old American culture, which one of us is the Tom Paris of our little group?" She asked and he frowned.

"The who?" He asked and she sighed.

"First Bill and Ted and now Star Trek. All of the classics are going to become lost to the recesses of the extranet..." She said, shaking her head.

"Have you told him the news?" Tia asked suddenly and Sarah shot up, remembering.

"No! I totally forgot." She said and Philip frowned.

"Wait, what news?" He asked and she smiled at him.

"I got you a patrol job." She said and he grinned at her.

"No way!" He exclaimed and Tia nodded, chiming in.

"The Executor isn't happy about Sarah going it alone until Smiley gets back." She said and he narrowed his eyes a little.

"Ah. So this is the 'keep Rookie sane' assignment?" He asked. "I imagine patrolling the catwalks alone is driving you crazy." He said and she shrugged, not wanting anyone else to know about her feelings towards Tiberius.

"A little." She admitted and he grinned.

"It'll give me time to persuade you to try the other songs from your 'no' list." He said, grinning, and she groaned. "I'm glad you agreed to help us out, Rookie." He said and Tia frowned.

"What is this 'us' business? This was your insane idea." She reminded him and he waved his hand dismissively before turning back to Sarah.

"Anyway, you're not bad. You just need to learn how to act on stage." He told her and she let her sub-harmonics growl with frustration and resentment. It wasn't her fault that she wasn't good at this stuff. And she didn't want to be. She was only bloody well doing it because they had pestered her into it. "I've got an idea." Philip said, pulling up his omni-tool. "Check this out. This vid has been circling the net for years. Try and guess who the singer is, I bet you'll never get it." He said before playing a video file that looked as if it had been recorded on an old omni-tool.

Sarah watched carefully, noting the crowded nightclub where the recording was taking place. By the looks of things, she dated the video at over twenty years ago. The background noise died down as the camera focused on the stage and a slender, red-haired woman stepped out onto it and began to sing.

"_The boys who kiss and bite,_

_They are the brilliant ones who speak and write with silver luck..._

_They sing in clever tongues,_

_Oh how my knees go weak to be the one -_

_she kicks and bucks._

_Always quick to follow,_

_The boys are too refined,_

_Won't matter tomorrow,_

_Oh, to be in his mind,_

_And if the timing is right to sneak off into the night,_

_I'll let myself be taken just for the thrill._

_And if I'm given the chance to be a doll in his hands,_

_I will be sure we shake the mountains while we dance._"

As soon as she opened her mouth to sing, Sarah recognized her. It was younger than Sarah knew her and the change of hair color was a little distracting, as were the faint glow of orange cybernetics beneath her skin. Reminders that she hadn't always been the woman Sarah knew.

"Mum..." She whispered, smiling a little. She had heard about the undercover mission on Omega to catch the Ardat-Yakshi from her Aunt Jack, but her parents never liked to talk about it. Her mother would get embarrassed and from the way her father's sub-harmonics responded when asked about it, it had almost ended badly.

"What? No, it's Commander Shepard." Philip said and Sarah froze as she realized that he had heard her.

"I told you that you should have told him." Tia said and Sarah's sub-harmonics screamed _Not Helping_ at her, although she couldn't hear it.

"Tell me what?" Philip asked and Tia gave Sarah a look of _I told you so_.

"If you don't tell him he'll just...Okay, maybe he won't figure it out but that would be really cruel. Come on, you slipped up. Deal with it." Tia told her and Sarah growled at her.

"Guys, what's going on here?" He asked and Sarah glanced up at him, caught off guard by the worried expression he was giving her. He was more concerned for her than anything else and she sighed, lying down where she was sitting.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." She said and Tia folded her arms, realizing that Sarah hadn't actually told anyone outright before. She and Tiberius had figured it out for themselves and everyone else who knew had always known.

"Do you want me to tell him?" Tia asked and took Sarah's silence as permission, figuring that she was communicating something in sub-harmonics that she couldn't hear. "Sarah's surname. What is it?" She asked Philip who shrugged.

"Dunno. Don't know yours either." He pointed out and she narrowed her eyes at him.

"No, you can't _remember_ mine." She said and he rolled his eyes.

"It's some long-ass salarian name. I can't be expected to remember that shit." He said and she frowned a little.

"I... I didn't think you had recognized it as salarian." She said and he shrugged.

"Not that hard, given how long it is. I'm not a complete idiot." He said and Sarah smiled a little.

"That's debatable." She said and Tia rolled her eyes at her.

"Do you want me to tell him or not?" Tia asked and Sarah nodded.

"He won't believe it from me." She said and Tia realized that she might be right.

"So, are you going to tell me or not?" Philip asked and Tia grinned.

"Sarah's surname is- Wait, is it double-barreled?" She asked and Sarah nodded.

"Yeah. Order doesn't matter." She said and Philip frowned at them.

"Are you going to tell me or not?!" He asked impatiently and Sarah sighed.

"I'm Angel." She said simply and Tia pouted a little.

"I wanted to tell him." She said and Sarah shrugged.

"You were taking forever." She said as Philip frowned at both of them.

"Bullshit." He said and Sarah shrugged again.

"Told you so." She said to Tia who frowned.

"It's true." She said.

"Prove it." He said, his face defiant.

Sarah sighed before activating her holo-locket, revealing a picture of her family.

"Shit. Sorry I didn't believe you." His face went from shock to shame in a matter of seconds.

"No big." She said, shrugging. It was a little unbelievable. More than a little, she guessed. But that summed her up, didn't it? _Unbelievable_. Or was _unexpected_ better?

She realized that she had been lost in her thoughts for several minutes before anyone spoke to her again.

"Why didn't you just tell me, Rookie?" Philip asked gently and she shrugged.

"I didn't want you guys to judge me because of my family. I had to figure out who I was outside of them. I didn't tell the others, they just figured it out." She told him and he nodded, believing her.

"It's okay. Judgment free zone here. Trust me, I know about not wanting to be judged on family." He said.

"I know. Sorry." She said and he shrugged.

"No need to apologize. So, think your parents will show for the anniversary celebrations?" He asked and she frowned, realizing that she didn't actually know.

"Dunno. They showed for the ten year one but they haven't mentioned it in any of their messages." She wondered at that, falling into her own thoughts again. She really hadn't properly talked to her parents in months and she felt a little guilty about it. She had been far too distracted lately, but she knew that it was no real excuse as she fell silent, slipping further into her own thoughts.

If Red had been there, he would have gently touched her arm and let his sub-harmonics trill with comfort and reassurance. Her heart ached at the distance between them, and she wondered if she hadn't been so dense, if she had just said _something_, would things have turned out differently...?

"Sarah?" Tia asked and she pulled herself from her thoughts again.

"Yeah?"

"Don't."

"I know."

"Then tell him when he gets back."

"No. I... _Damn it_..."

"Yeah. That just about sums it up."


	10. Chapter Ten - A Dose of Common Sense

**AN: Thanks to everyone who has favourited, followed and double thanks to everyone who has reviewed.**

**Special thanks goes to my beta Spyke1985! You're the best!**

**Okay, last update for today. Chapter 11 should be up in about a week.**

**Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Ten - A Dose of Common Sense**

_Sarah sat crouched on the roof, sniper rifle in her hands. Watching. Waiting. She couldn't remember what she was waiting for, what she was expecting to appear in her scope, but she knew that it was important._

"_Been waiting long?" A voice whispered in her ear as strong arms wrapped around her midsection, causing her heart to begin to race and her cheeks to flush a little. She dropped the rifle and turned to find who she had been waiting for. Who she was always waiting for._

"_No." She lied to the dark-plated turian in front of her, her small, nimble fingers reaching up to trace the vibrant red markings across his face as his own three fingers moved to trace the deep blue ones across hers, increasing her pulse even more and causing her breath to hitch in anticipation. She had been waiting for far, far too long._

_His hands moved down to brush her waist, pulling her closer to him. She was wearing her usual gray vest and jeans, minus her jacket and visor. She rarely got to see him without the tint of blue covering everything and it made him seem so much more real. Made her heart tug even more when his green eyes met hers. But right now, it wasn't her heart that had her attention, it was the heat growing between her legs as his hands teased her gently._

_Patience had never been one of her virtues and she decided that she had had enough of his teasing, so she pressed herself closer to him and gently nibbled the underside of his mandible, earning her a deep growl that only made her need for him more intense. She quickly moved her hands across the clasps of his armor, wishing that he had worn something a little easier to remove. But then he wouldn't be him. She gave a self-satisfied smirk as the last piece fell away, her lips having never left his face, and he growled again, his chest vibrating slightly beneath her hands. Almost imperceptibly._

_He seemed to lose his own patience at that, talons ripping through her clothes with a raw passion that she had rarely seen from him. The idea that she was the cause of this side of him showing itself made her give her own growl of pleasure, as he began to nuzzle her neck, his tongue moving slowly and making her wonder how the hell he still had the presence of mind to tease her. She rolled her hips against his, hoping to spur him on. It seemed to work, as he let loose another growl, moving his tongue from her neck. She gave a whine of frustration and he laughed softly in her ear. That pulled her out of her lust-fueled haze for a moment as her heart jumped to her throat and seemed to lodge itself there as he lowered his forehead to hers, his piercing green eyes staring at her with much, much more than just predatory lust._

"_Blue, I-"_

_BLEEPBLEEPBLEEPBLEEPBLEEP_

Sarah awoke abruptly, turning over so quickly that she fell out of bed and sharply onto the floor of her room.

"Cazzo!" She yelled as a sharp pain shot through her leg and she realized that she had banged it badly against the side of her bed, drawing blood from the sharp edge. Her carpet was now stained with purple blood as she sighed, waiting for the wound to close. It took a while and she figured there would be an angry purple line across the lower section of her calf for the rest of the day.

"You okay?" Tia's voice called out from the next room as she knocked on the door.

"Yeah... Just... Fell out of bed." She said, not wanting to open the door and let Tia see the purple blood stains everywhere. She decided to quickly switch her shorts for joggers before leaving her room, carefully slipping through the door, opening it as little as she could get away with, so as to not risk Tia seeing anything. Her asari roommate greeted her with a cup of coffee, for which Sarah would be eternally grateful.

"You hurt yourself?" She asked and Sarah shook her head.

"Liar. You only swear in untranslatable languages when you injure yourself." She observed and Sarah sighed at the habit she had picked up from her mother.

"It's not my fault your translator doesn't do Italian." She muttered as she downed her coffee, ignoring the scalding feeling as the hot substance - which she suspected wouldn't pass toxic screening the way Tia made it - worked its way down her throat.

"Bad dream?" Tia asked and Sarah blushed, shaking her head.

"No. Just... _Weird_ dream." She said shyly, her blush deepening, and the asari grinned smugly.

"_Ah._" She said and Sarah glared at her.

"_Don't._" She warned, but the asari kept grinning.

"So... Is it _not_ bad news that I used up all of the hot water?" She asked and Sarah groaned, annoyed that this was still a problem when they were living on a _fucking space station_.

"Shut up." She said as she downed the end of her coffee.

"Don't worry, he'll be back in a couple of weeks." She said and Sarah rolled her eyes.

"That's what you said a couple of weeks ago." She pointed out and Tia gave her a sympathetic look.

"Look, I know it's not easy being separated from your bondmate bu-"

"_No_. Stop right there. Red is _not_ my bondmate. He is a friend who I may or may not have slight romantic feelings for. That's all." She said and the asari sighed, shaking her head. She was often astounded by Sarah's stubbornness, but this had to be setting a new record...

* * *

"Scared everyone away, huh?" Sarah growled at the voice behind her, quickly spinning to hit whoever had gotten that close. But he dodged her fist. "I think I'm getting better at that." He said and she continued to growl, refocusing her attention on the punching bag in front of her.

"Leave, Philip. _Now_." She snarled at him, and he raised an eyebrow.

"What's got you so worked up?" He asked and her growl deepened. She was _not_ about to have that conversation.

"Nothing." She said, starting to hit the punching bag once again.

"Yeah. Looks like 'nothing'." He observed and her growl deepened once more. It hadn't subsided for hours and she figured that he was right. Whoever might have been considering using the C-Sec gym had probably been scared away by her clearly aggressive demeanor. Any turian within a mile radius would know to keep their distance. She was showing all of the classic signs of separation from her bondmate, and anyone would be able to see it. Anyone but her.

"Leave." She told him again and he shook his head.

"Sarah, I'm not leaving. Something's been bothering you for weeks now. Are you stressed because of the gig tomorrow? Because you've got nothing to worry about. Seriously, you're gonna rock." He told her and she shook her head, clenching and unclenching her hands into fists to try and expel her excess energy.

"It's not that... I..." She started, unable to articulate what was bothering her.

"Come on, talk to me. I thought we were friends." He said and she sighed, losing her frustration-fueled anger for a moment.

"We _are_. I just..." Her growl turned into a feral snarl for a moment as she once more felt attacked by her frustration at her own feelings. She had ridiculous amounts of pent up, stress induced energy, and no way to expend it. Short of destroying every piece of equipment in the gym. She had already busted the treadmill in the apartment.

She threw a wild punch at the bag and slipped, tripping over herself and hitting the wall. Philip caught her before she hit the floor and she was very suddenly aware of how his skin felt against hers, how he was easily holding her, hand just brushing her waist as it rested on her hip, how his lips were just moments from her own...

She shook herself, pushing away before she did something she would regret. She _really_ needed to get laid. She cursed her turian physiology, knowing that she needed to get rid of her build up stress, although she refused to acknowledge what was _causing_ the stress. It most definitely was _not_ that she had bonded to Tiberius, and the distance between them was causing her body to respond with crazy amounts of stress, doubled by the fact that she hadn't _actually_ told him how she felt about him, which caused its own stress.

"Are you hurt?" He asked and she shook her head, although he frowned, indicating to her leg where her black joggers was sticking to her skin. "It looks like you're bleeding." He said, moving towards the wound. She immediately backed away.

"It's fine." She hissed sharply. "It'll stop in a moment." She said and he folded his arms.

"Sarah, it looks bad. Just let me look at it. I do know what I'm doing." He said and she shook her head furiously.

"I'm telling you, it's fine!" She said, knowing that he wouldn't back down until he was sure that she was okay. If she had learnt anything working with him over the last few weeks, it was that he cared about her. And she had to admit that she had come to rely on his upbeat attitude and bad jokes to keep her mind from the absence of Tiberius. It was still there, but Philip had a way of pushing it to the back of her mind.

"It's _dripping_ with blood, I mean- _What the hell_?" He said as he looked at the bottom of the leg of her joggers where blood had started to drip out. Purple blood. Sarah sighed, falling back so that she slid down the wall and came to sit on the floor. Philip grabbed the gym's med kit and sat down next to her. He pushed the clothing away from the wound and he silently went to work, cleaning out the wound and applying a bandage.

"Aren't you going to ask?" She asked softly and he sighed.

"To be honest, I don't even know what the question would be..." He admitted and she smiled weakly.

"Hey Sarah, why do you have purple blood?" She offered weakly and he nodded.

"Hey Sarah, why do you have purple blood?" He repeated as he finished patching her up. She shook her head, climbing up and starting to pace. She _really_ wanted to run. She wanted to run away and not stop. But, for once, she was tethered to the truth by her friendships.

"I just..." She started but her throat seemed to close up. What would he think of her once he knew the truth? He would be revolted. Repulsed. She was sure of it.

"You have a medical condition?" He guessed and she wondered if she should just take the out. "Sarah, you don't have to worry about what I might think. Judgment free zone, remember?" He said, his words cutting into her, deeper than they should.

"Judgment free zone, huh?" She scoffed before pulling off her visor and yanking her hair away from her fringe plates. "I am a _hybrid_. Half-human and half-turian." She hissed at him, her tone slightly manic. "Still not going to judge?" She spat angrily, storming away from him.

He grabbed her arm before she could get too far, pulling her back so that she was facing him. He could see the tears lacing her ice blue, turian eyes and he suddenly saw a side of Sarah that he was sure she kept well hidden. Despite all of her bravado and snarky attitude, she was insecure. It didn't match up with his idea of Sarah, the woman who was old beyond her years and simply didn't care what anyone thought of her. He wondered if this was the side of Sarah had she had only shared willingly with Tiberius, and that Tia had glimpsed through keen observation. Her gaze fell to the floor and when she next spoke she sounded angry and bitter.

"I am literally a turian in human skin." She told him and his hand moved over her arm, showing the clear definition of plates beneath her thin skin. In the areas where the plates weren't, the thin outer layer of skin merged with the thicker skin beneath it. It was as if someone had taken a small turian female and covered her in a thin layer of human skin. Now that he could see it, he couldn't believe that he hadn't noticed it before, although she had always been careful to cover herself with modest clothing. Suddenly her strange proportions were very noticeable, though not disturbingly so. "I look too human to be a turian, but I act too turian to ever truly be a human." She said and he frowned a little.

"Why are you doing that?" He asked and she frowned back at him in confusion.

"Doing what?" She asked.

"Acting as if I'm about to run away from you. I'm not running, Sarah." He told her and she kept frowning.

"Why not? I'm a hybrid freak." She spat and he shook his head.

"That's not true and you know it. I think that whatever is messing with you has you doubting yourself, and you shouldn't." He said and she shook her head.

"Phillip, look at me. How could... I mean, how could anyone..." She trailed off, unsure of how to voice what she felt. _How could anyone love something like me?_ It had never bothered her before. She had always been happy with who and what she was. But she had never really thought about falling in love.

"Oh, _Sarah_..." Philip said, his tone carrying all of the connotations of '_don't be so silly_'. She sighed, steeling herself to push away from him and head home. She would probably end up telling Tia everything and then... Hell, she'd probably go home for real. Stop waiting around for Tiberius and just cut her losses. There was no way that he could-

Her train of thought was interrupted by Philip lowering his mouth to hers, kissing her gently, tentatively; as if testing the waters. She immediately stiffened up, before pulling away and running as fast as she could from whatever the hell had just happened between them.

* * *

Sarah returned to the apartment to find it empty. She started to pace agitatedly, unsure of what else to do. What else could she do? She wanted to talk to Tia. Or did she? She knew that there were unresolved... _Things_ between her and Philip. Honestly, it had kept her from ever looking at him that way.

Apart from once or twice.

But who could blame her? No one could claim that he wasn't a good looking guy. But... He wasn't Red. That was her problem... And she suspected it always would be her problem. But he'd left and had been gone for _weeks_. If that wasn't a clear enough message that he didn't feel the same about her, she didn't know what was. If he felt the same way then how could he stay so far away? How would it not be driving him mad?

So, she _should_ move on. Shouldn't she? Yes. Of course she should. She couldn't just _wait_ for him. She wasn't some pathetic young girl who was going to wait around for some guy. No matter who he was.

Right?

Her thoughts were interrupted by the door beeping, alerting her to someone on the other side. Tia would have just let herself in, so Sarah knew that it wasn't her.

"_Go Away!_" She growled in Turian Common. Since arriving on the Citadel, she had only spoken TC when she'd been alone with Tiberius, in order to avoid suspicion. Now she simply didn't care.

"Sarah?" Philip asked from the other side of the door.

"_Leave me alone._" She said and she heard him sigh loudly.

"Sarah, please just let me in. I want to apologize." He said and she bit her lip, her sharp teeth drawing blood, before sighing and opening the door.

"I'm sorry." She said, aware that there were better ways to handle what had happened than to run away. She switched back to speaking Human Common, not wanting to have this conversation via translators.

"I should be the one apologizing. You were distressed and I took advantage and I'm sorry." He said and she shook her head.

"It's not like I was wasted or anything. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have run." She told him and he shook his head.

"I should have just told you instead of kissing you but... Sarah, you have to know that there is nothing wrong with you. And any guy not willing to look past... _This,_" He indicated to her face. "Isn't worth it."

"Is that your way of telling me that you can 'look past' it?" She joked and he stepped closer to her, nodding.

"Yeah, it is." He said honestly, his voice low. She felt her mouth go dry. She knew all too well that the turian reaction to stress was for her system to become flooded with hormones. The fact that she was still young didn't help. She either fought it off or she screwed it off.

Option number one wasn't open.

She would need a sparring partner for that, and only two people she knew on the Citadel were good enough to challenge her. Tiberius and Tia. Tiberius wasn't around and Tia, while good, couldn't make up for Sarah's superior strength.

Then there was option number two.

Which wasn't really an option, because the other person would have to know about her being a hybrid.

_Which Philip did_, her mind supplied unhelpfully.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked and she sighed.

"What about Tia?" She asked and he frowned.

"What about her?"

"You two have... That weird thing that you two have." She said and he sighed.

"Why is this the first thing girls ask me?" He groaned. "I already told you this. Tia turned me down shortly after we first met but she was the only person I knew when I first arrived here, so we kept hanging out. But there isn't anything between us. She has made it more than clear over the years that she wants nothing more than friendship from me." He told her, his hand moving up to play with her hair. "Is that all you want?" He asked softly and she sighed, looking away.

"I... You know that I don't want any kind of real relationship." She said and he nodded, moving his lips to her neck, starting to kiss her softly and she realized that she was teetering on the edge of reason.

"I know." He said softly, his hands on her waist. They were unpracticed with turian females, but she was too worked up to care.

"I would just be sex." She warned him, biting back a growl of pleasure as he pressed her body against his.

"I am perfectly happy with that." He said, pulling away from her neck to show a cheeky grin before he pressed his lips to hers again. They were soft and fleshy like Rael's had been and she hoped that humans wouldn't be all that different. Her lips parted with pleasure, as he stroked her waist in just the right way, and his tongue made his way into her mouth. The kiss was sloppy, he was a little too pushy and his mouth had the ashy taste of cigarettes.

But she didn't care.

The main, overriding problem were his eyes. When she opened hers and looked into his stormy gray ones, she was struck by the fact that they were definitely _not_ that deep, piercing shade of green that she craved.

She pushed the thought away, pulling her top off over her head as he removed his own. She moved her hands along his chest, feeling the muscles moving beneath his skin as he started to remove her jeans. They were both far too impatient to wait around, and she could feel his hard length through his own trousers as she helped him to remove her own.

At that point she was suddenly struck by the fact that they were still standing in the middle of the living room and started to laugh a little.

"What's so funny?" He asked her and she shook her head, taking his hand and leading him back into her room. Her bed was small (she had never really considered the possibility of another person sharing it with her), but it would do. She pushed him back until the backs of his legs hit the edge of the bed and he fell backwards onto it. Before he could get back up, she was straddling him, kissing him along his neck. He laughed a little at her impatience, before slipping his hand between her thighs, causing her to growl a little as he caught her by surprise.

She knew that she was similar enough to a human female in that department for him to not have any trouble. And she quickly realized just how _little_ trouble he was having as he found her clit and began rubbing in just the right way that made her growl once more with pleasure.

"You keep doing that and I'm going to come before you eve-" She was cut off by a moan as he kept teasing her and she moved down to his underwear, realizing that somewhere he had lost his pants without her noticing it.

"Wait, do have a-" He asked but she cut him off with an impatient growl.

"Do you want me to bore you with a biology lesson, or do you trust me when I say that you can't knock me up?" She asked and he nodded before she removed his underwear as fast as she could as he moved to kiss her again, before positioning his length at her entrance.

"Stop teasing and just do it." She growled, as he lazily circled her clit once more, her breathing heavy and ragged. He laughed softly before pushing into her slowly and she growled deeply once more. That was all the encouragement he needed to start thrusting and she kissed frantically along his neck again, her pulse racing as her body reacted to his touch.

She still couldn't shake the nagging feeling clouding everything. That it wasn't _right_. That _he_ wasn't right.

She pushed the thoughts away, instead focusing on the feeling of him pumping in and out of her, hitting her in exactly the right spot. Over and over again. The feeling of his hands teasing her breasts, ignoring the fact that there was two fingers too many. Ignoring the fact that they didn't fit together exactly right.

It wasn't long before all rational thought escaped her and she was growling in his ear as her muscles clenched around him and pleasure cascaded through her, pulling him with her over the edge.

He gave a few more lazy thrusts before pulling away and she was once again struck by the fact that his eyes weren't the right color as they met hers. She smiled weakly at him, the fact that she had been ignoring, and running away from, _finally_ sinking in.

She was bonded to Tiberius, and she would _always_ be bonded to him. Even if she didn't want to be, and even if he didn't want her to be. It wasn't something that she could change.

"Sarah?" He asked and she realized that she had been with her own thoughts for several moments and was biting her lip so hard that it was bleeding. She looked up at him and saw that his expression was a mirror of her own. A hollow laugh escaped her at the sight.

"That was all a load of bull, wasn't it? What you said about there being nothing between you and Tia?" She asked and he sighed.

"No. She _has_ made it clear that she doesn't want to be more than friends but... Somewhere along the way she stopped being a good friend who I thought was kind of hot and became... Something else altogether..." He admitted and Sarah nodded, laughing again.

"Yeah. Same." She admitted and he frowned before realizing what she meant.

"So, you and Smiley...?" He asked and she sighed.

"I fell for him. Bonded to him. And... I've been running from it ever since I realized." She admitted and he nodded.

"That the bondmate thing Tia told me about?" He asked and Sarah nodded.

"Yeah." She said and he frowned a little.

"The way she said it, it sounded like a two-way thing." He said and she sighed, nodding.

"Between two turians, it always is. Hormonal reaction to pheromones or something. No one is _exactly_ sure why that's the case. But obviously, I'm not a full-blooded turian. The normal laws of nature don't apply." She told him, before laughing again.

"What?" He asked but she kept laughing, shaking her head.

"This is weird. Talking about this with you. Naked." She told him and he rolled his eyes.

"Yeah. We just had sex, remember?" He said sarcastically and she rolled her eyes, nodding.

"I know. But it's still a little weird." She admitted and he shook his head as he got up and put his pants back on.

"Better?" He asked and she smiled at him.

"I didn't say that I wasn't enjoying the view." She said playfully and he folded his arms.

"Just not turian enough for you?" He joked back and she shook her head.

"Just not _him_." She admitted and he nodded as she put on some pajamas.

"Yeah. I know what you mean." He said and she frowned a little.

"Ask her again." She said and he shook his head.

"No. She made it clear that she doesn't want to be more than my friend and I don't wanna lose that." He said, sighing.

"Trust me. She's changed her mind." Sarah said and he nodded.

"You gonna tell Smiley?" He asked and it was her turn to sigh as she looked towards the small box on her desk. She hadn't opened it since Tia had first given it to her. She was too scared by what it might mean.

"Yeah... I think it's time to stop running." She said and he grinned at her.

"I can totally see it. Five years from now you two'll both be respectable C-Sec officers, living in a fancy part of the ward, married and pregnant with your first little hybrid baby of your own." He told her and Sarah's face fell a little, but she pushed back the thoughts that were starting to lurk on the edges of her mind.

"Living right next door to you and Tia." She said and he smiled.

"Yeah... For the first time in my life, a future like that doesn't seem so far-fetched." He admitted and she nodded.

"I know what you mean..."

* * *

Tia hated working late but she knew that it was necessary. Tomorrow was the twenty year anniversary of the end of the Reaper War, and if she wanted the day off to play in the band tomorrow, she had to do prep work over night. Philip was supposed to be helping her but she had expected him to bail. Even if he was there, he would probably end up being more of a hindrance than a help, anyway, she figured. Sarah wouldn't be much help either. She had little patience for such work anyway, but there was no way that she could remain focused right now.

"Need a hand?" A voice came from behind her but she didn't turn around, too engrossed in the datapad in front of her.

"Five weeks?" She asked and he sighed, although it sounded more like a growl to her.

"Yeah, I know." He said.

"She's not going to forgive you, you know? At least, not easily." Tia said as Tiberius sighed again, sitting down next to her.

"I wouldn't expect anything less from her. And I deserve it." He admitted.

"So, you finally got some sense knocked into you?" She asked and he nodded.

"Yep. My granddad can be extremely blunt when he wants to be. Once he figured out what was wrong, he practically pushed me back onto the transport. I thought that after what happened to my parents he would agree with me but..."

"He actually had some common sense?" She asked and he nodded.

"Yeah. Pretty much." He said and she finally looked up from her work, rolling her eyes, as his constant fidgeting in her peripheral vision distracted her from her work. She suspected that if she could hear his sub-harmonics, they would be growling with agitation. The theory was confirmed by the wide berth that the other turians in the office seemed to be giving Tiberius.

"You've made yourself sick." She observed.

"Yeah. Serves me right I guess." He said, not entirely succeeding in biting back a frustrated growl, and she snorted.

"Yeah, it does. I mean, dumb move, Smiley. You're not even twenty yet. You know that bondmate separation is worse the younger you are. Especially when you haven't _actually_ marked her." She said and he nodded.

"That's an understatement." He growled and she rolled her eyes.

"You can't ignore biology, Smiles. So, does this mean that you're going to tell her how you feel?" She asked and he nodded.

"Yeah..."

"About damn time."

* * *

**AN: I know, I know! Sorry about the cliffhanger! Chapter 11 is coming asap, I promise!**


	11. Chapter Eleven - The Calm Before the Sto

**AN: Thanks to everyone who has favourited, followed and double thanks to everyone who has reviewed.**

**Special thanks goes to my beta Spyke1985! You're the best!**

**It's here! The chapter where stuff happens! Just one more left of Part One.^^**

**Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Eleven - The Calm Before the Storm**

Sarah was in a rush when she entered C-Sec HQ. She hadn't been able to get to sleep after Philip had left but she'd become absorbed in an RPG on her omni-tool and had underestimated how long it would take her to get ready.

So, she didn't even notice the dark plated turian next to Tia watching her intently, his focus especially drawn to the charm bracelet on her wrist. Two half hearts. One red. One blue.

"Hey." He eventually said, softly, causing her gaze to jerk upwards to him as she froze on the spot.

"_Red_..." She whispered as he stood up, unsure of the reception he would receive. He was mildly surprised when she ran forward, pulling him close to her and into what would have been a bone-crushing hug, if he hadn't had battle hardened plates protecting him. "I missed you." She told him as he took a few moments to relish in her familiar touch and the all too familiar scent of Earth flowers mixed with something new that he couldn't quite identify...

By the time he did, she had pulled away from him and had started hitting him.

"Ow, Blue!" He protested but she kept hitting, a fire lit behind her eyes.

"Five weeks!" She yelled, and he nodded sadly.

"I know, I know..." He said, but she kept on.

"Five bloody weeks! You have _no_ idea! I mean, I don't even get a goodbye, but you give Tia a charm bracelet to pass on? And don't even think of citing cultural differences as an excuse because you know that that shit won't fly with me!" She yelled, finally stopping her assault as she placed her hands on her hips and stared him down.

"I know, Blue... That was cruel of me." He told her, his sub-harmonics trilling with apology through the agitation and frustration that had taken root in her absence.

"Yeah, no shit." She muttered and he frowned as he remembered what he had smelt on her.

"So, you got a new boyfriend?" He asked, trying to keep the jealousy and pain out of his sub-harmonics. _He_ had left _her_. If she had chosen someone else, it was no one's fault but his own.

"None of your business." She told him sharply, folding her arms, and he sighed. It was now or never, he decided.

"What if I want it to be?" He asked softly and he caught her sub-harmonics trilling with surprise and happiness before she silenced them, and the small indication of her potential feelings gave him enough courage to step towards her, placing his taloned hand on the side of her folded arm.

"You left." She reminded him and he let his sub-harmonics trill with apology again.

"I'm an idiot. And the closer people get to me, the more I push them away." He said and she nodded, sighing.

"Yeah. But somehow I managed to fall for you anyway." She admitted, her tone resolute. Once she made up her mind to do something, she did it. That included confessing her feelings to the turian she loved.

He immediately stepped closer to her and brought his forehead down to hers, just as she remembered that she had decided to tell him _what_ she was before she asked him about his own feeling towards her. _Shit_, she thought as she realized that she messed up her timings.

"There's still something I haven't told you and it's important." She admitted. "Really important. So, no big confessions of feelings or anything until I've told you. Okay?" She asked and he could see how distressed the secret was making her, so, instead of telling her the very thing he had been desperate to for weeks now, he simply nodded.

"Okay." He confirmed and she gave him a grateful smile.

"I promise that I'll tell you before the day cycle's up. But right now I have somewhere to be. Now, where did the other two go?"

* * *

"Hey, can I talk to you?" Philip asked quietly and Tia frowned. As much as she knew that she shouldn't be eavesdropping, she wanted to make sure that neither of them 'chickened out', as she had heard Philip say. She had tried chicken once at his behest, and she hadn't been impressed. Although, what exactly the small bird had to do with cowardice, she could never figure out.

"But, Philip..." She whined back softly and he grinned at her, shaking his head.

"Come on, there's something I need to tell you." He said and she nodded reluctantly.

"_Fine_." She said and smiled back at him as he laughed softly. Once they were in the next room, she returned to speaking at a normal volume. "So, what did you need to tell me?" She asked and couldn't help but notice how he blushed slightly and started to fidget. It was cute. _No, no it isn't. He's just a friend_. She thought to herself as he sat on the edge of a desk to stop himself from pacing.

"Okay, I just wanted to tell you this because you're my best friend and I've never kept secrets from you, and keeping them now is really weird so-" He started to ramble and she held a hand up to stop him.

"Philip? You're talking a little too fast. Wanna slow it down a little for me?" She asked and he smiled sheepishly at her.

"Sorry. Just, okay you know how you said that you didn't want to be anything more than friends when we first started hanging out? I said that that was totally fine, which it was. The more we started hanging out, the more obvious it became that it would never have worked out. I mean, you're smart, like _smart_ smart, and you're... you are genuinely interested in all of that fancy, boring crap that I can't stand. But you're funny and sweet and we somehow found enough common ground to get along. Plus, you don't look down on me even though you know where I come from. So, you're a good friend and I was more than happy to never think about dating you again..." He said and Tia gritted her teeth in an effort to not cry. She knew all of this and she didn't need him to reiterate it all for her.

"So, is there a point to all of this?" She asked, trying to keep the bite from her words but not quite succeeding. He sighed, shaking his head.

"Crap. I'm not explaining this right... I _was_ fine with it until... You remember last year? We went out for your birthday and that total douchebag started flirting with you, then when you started flirting back... I just... I realized that I didn't want to just be friends. That you meant more to me than that. But, you had made it clear that you didn't want to go out with me and I didn't want to lose our friendship. I still don't. But... I guess this is my way of asking if you want to go and get coffee sometime or something..." He said and she seemed frozen in place as her mind went to its usual standby of overloading her with questions.

"We go for coffee all the time." She eventually managed to point out, and he rolled his eyes at her, still clearly a little on edge as he waited for her answer.

"Then we do something else. If you want to..." He said and she nodded.

"I, erm... I have this thing. About people leaving. It's a long story and I'll tell you it sometime. You just... You have to promise me that if this doesn't work out that we can still be friends." She told him and he nodded.

"Tia, we'll _always_ be friends." He said and she smiled at him.

"Then okay. I'll let you buy me a drink or something sometime." She told him and couldn't help but laugh softly as he gave her a huge, child-like grin.

At that point Sarah entered the room, Tiberius just behind her, the both of them smiling like children with a secret.

"Guys, we're gonna be late." Sarah told them and Tiberius gave her a concerned look as his sub-harmonics trilled with worry.

"You're going out on patrol?" He asked and she blushed a little.

"No, actually, I'm performing." She admitted and his sub-harmonics began to trill with surprise.

"Performing?" He repeated and she shook her head.

"It's nothing. Philip and Tia roped me into the band and we got the early slot down in the arse-end of the lower wards..." She muttered sheepishly and he smiled a little.

"I look forward to seeing it." He told her and her blush deepened as she headed out of HQ.

* * *

"I hate the both of you for this." Sarah hissed at Philip and Tia as they got ready to start performing.

"Come on, Rookie. It's a crowd pleaser." Philip told her as he started playing and she let her eyes scan the crowd. Her eyes fell on familiar, vibrant green ones and she was both calmed and thrilled at once as she spotted Tiberius watching her in the crowd.

"_Where have all good men gone,_

_And where are all the gods?_

_Where's the street-wise Hercules,_

_To fight the rising odds?_

_Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?_

_Late at night I toss and turn and dream of what I need._

_I need a hero,_

_I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night,_

_He's gotta be strong,_

_And he's gotta be fast,_

_And he's gotta be fresh from the fight,_

_I need a hero,_

_I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light,_

_He's gotta be sure,_

_And it's gotta be soon,_

_And he's gotta be larger than life-_"

BANG!

The three C-Sec officers on stage immediately rolled into action, all of them carrying concealed weapons. Sarah's visor automatically keyed up its combat functions, but she instead used it to help her search for Tiberius amongst the screaming civilians and the troops in yellow and white armour that were filing into the ward. As soon as she caught sight of him, her heart started to thunder in her chest and she felt as if it had stopped still while she had been looking.

"Go! We can handle ourselves." Tia told her and she nodded, wishing that just for once her biotics would activate on command. She felt almost naked in her red silk shirt and black jeans, with no armour or shields. But she needed to get to Tiberius and that simple fact made her move with quick precision, despite the crowds, mowing down any of the armoured assholes in her way.

"Blue, we need to get to the catwalks." He told her as soon as she was in earshot, and she nodded her head, the dull panic of being surrounded by the crowd was slowly creeping into her mind.

"Agreed." She said and followed his lead, watching his back. There was something _wrong_ about the soldiers filing in. But she wasn't thinking as each one entered the range of her pistol, wasn't calculating. She acted on instinct, knowing exactly when to shoot. And she didn't try to think, didn't try to analyze. She knew that that would only pull her out of the zone she was in.

"Blue?" Tiberius asked her as they climbed up onto the catwalk and she nodded, lowering her gun.

"There was something... _off_ about those soldiers. Something different." She told him.

"Do you know what?" He asked, used to trusting her instincts.

"No. Not yet." She admitted before smiling. "I missed this."

"Being shot at?"

"_You_. You overgrown pyjak." She said, allowing her sub-harmonics to trill with affection, and he grinned back at her, taking courage from the fact that she seemed to return his feelings, at least partially.

"Same." He admitted and her heart leapt a little, despite their situation.

"So, any idea who those guys were?" She asked and he frowned a little, sub-harmonics trilling with confusion.

"You don't know?" He asked and she shook her head.

"No. Should I?" She asked and he sighed.

"Yellow and white armour can only mean one thing. Cerberus." He told her and she frowned.

"They've been out of action for almost twenty years." She told him and he shook his head.

"But not eradicated. It looks like they've been busy. Or maybe they're imposters." He said, shrugging, and she got an awful feeling of impending doom in the pit of her stomach, which was _never_ a good sign.

Her visor chimed, alerting her to new orders being issued. Most officers were being told to stay put, the extra security that had been put in place was paying off.

"We're being ordered to dock control to try and get rid of their ships." She told him and he nodded.

"We can get there via the catwalks." He said.

"You take the ones down there if I take the ones up here?" She asked.

"Sounds good to me." He acknowledged as they began to move in the right direction. Things quieted down as they moved through the vacant cat-walks, only interrupted when he occasionally got a good shot of an enemy down below, so he decided to use the opportunity to talk to her, to try and get a better sense of her feelings towards him. "You were good down there." He told her and she blushed a little.

"On stage or on the battlefield?" She asked, her tone a little shy, not quite brimming with her usual confidence and bravado.

"Both, but I was more talking about the stage." He admitted and she shook her head.

"I can't believe they talked me into that stupid song..." She muttered and he let his sub-harmonics trill with question.

"How _did_ they manage that?" He asked and she groaned.

"They gave me a choice. It was that or I Don't Want to Miss a Thing by Aerosmith. I chose the lesser of two evils." She told him, smirking a little.

"What song would you have chosen?" He asked and she keyed it up on her visor, transmitting it to his comm.

"_Drag myself from my bed,_

_Around twenty past six,_

_Get my kids up, make breakfast,_

_One egg, two toast, three Weetabix._

_And as I sit down I look up,_

_And you're standing in the doorway, sun at your back,_

_In my old brown dressing gown,_

_Well, no one can love you more than I love you now._

_But I gotta go, running for the bus,_

_Coat flying and I try not to miss it this time,_

_But the drivers waiting and that's strange,_

_Kids on the top deck, quiet for a change._

_And there's no rain and no roadworks,_

_In the bus lane and all my hurts run away,_

_And I'm smiling as I'm punching in._

_The day I died was the best day of my life,_

_The day I died was the best day of my life,_

_Tell my friends and my kids and my wife,_

_Everything will be alright,_

_The day I died was the best day of my life..._"

"Morbid." He commented and she rolled her eyes.

"I know but it reminds me of my childhood. My gran-gran loves this song." She said, smiling, and he smiled back.

"So, you think you're gonna die when you're most happy?" He asked and she smirked.

"I hope not." She said and he raised a brow plate.

"Why not?" He asked and she smiled shyly.

"Because if today turns out like I think it will, then the best day of my life would be today. You know, minus the Cerberus attack of course." She told him and he kept grinning, figuring what she meant.

"How do you think today's going to end?" He asked her, his sub-harmonics trilling with affection, and he didn't miss how it made her blush.

"We kick their asses, of course." She settled for saying before changing the subject. "Tia was pretty handy with her weapon out there." She observed, chafing a little from the lack of targets within reach of her pistol, wishing for her rifle. "I thought her specialty was hand-to-hand."

"It is. But she knows her stuff when it comes to weapons." He said and Sarah frowned.

"So how come I didn't see her name on the scoreboards when you tested my weapons proficiency?" She asked, narrowing her eyes a little, and his sub-harmonics trilled a little with guilt.

"There's erm... There is a separate scoreboard for recruits who skip the Academy." He told her and she frowned.

"So why wasn't I on _those_ boards?" She asked.

"I erm... I wanted to compare your scores to mine. Especially with the sniper." He said and her frown deepened.

"So, where did I score on the real boards?" She asked.

"Top end of average." He told her and she rolled her eyes.

"You know, now possibly wasn't the best time to knock my confidence." She told him snarkily and his sub-harmonics trilled with apology.

"It's not as if you're shooting anything up here." He said and she sighed.

"And don't I know it." She huffed, rolling her eyes, as she opened the door to the next section, revealing two of the armoured soldiers in sniper positions. She got the first with a headshot and got the other through the chest, wounding, but not killing, him. "And now for some answers." She said as she moved down towards the soldier.

"Be careful." Red warned her and she nodded as she removed the helmet of the soldier in front of her.

He wasn't human.

Nor was he implanted with Reaper tech like she heard that the Cerberus soldiers her parents had fought had been. He was... If she hadn't been what she was, she may have called him a monster, the skin of one of his cheeks missing, giving way to a deformed mandible, his eyes a strange shade of yellow that made her hair stand up on end, and what skin he had looked... sickly.

She _should_ have been horrified. She _should _have backed away in disgust and put the poor creature out of its misery. She was literally faced with her worst nightmare, the reason she had always feared hospitals...

And she couldn't bring herself to feel disgust or hatred or fear... Only pity and empathy that made her eyes prick with unshed tears on his behalf.

"Who are you?" She asked softly, a little afraid of the answer.

"I am a soldier..." He managed, slowly, his breathing laboured and his voice sounded warped. As if he had the second voice box of an adolescent.

"For who?" She asked, again softly although fear had begun to claw away at her, telling her to run from the thing that she had been so close to being herself.

"The Illusive Man." He managed after several moments and Sarah frowned, focusing on the information she was being given instead of the poor wretch of a creature who was giving it to her.

"You mean Cerberus?" She asked, knowing full well that the Illusive Man had died years ago.

"Yes..." He replied and she bit her lip, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to fall as she watched the life of the being in front of her slip away. She hadn't wounded him that badly but she suspected that he hadn't been stable to start with. Good for nothing but cannon fodder, ensuring that the Cerberus forces were never outnumbered but nothing more.

"Why are you here? What do you want?" She asked, unprepared for the answer she would receive.

"You." He said simply, causing her heart to stop dead and her blood to chill in her veins with fear.

"What? Why me?" She asked, although she suspected that she already knew, and that knowledge made a cold feeling of dread start to creep up her spine as she bit down harder on her lip.

"You are like us." He managed to say and she had to gulp back the sense of panic that was beginning to grip as her worst fears became realized.

"I am _nothing_ like you." She spat. "I wasn't grown in a lab."

"You are like us." He repeated and her denial fell into frustration which, in turn, fell down her face in the tears that had managed to escape the iron wall she had built around herself.

"If I'm just another one of you, why do you need me?" She finally managed to ask through gritted teeth, the words sharpened by so much pain that they cut through Tiberius' heart as he watched the exchange.

"You are like us but we are imperfect..." He managed to explain, and Sarah did everything she could to hold back a sob. This... _thing_ had been created in some kind of sick attempt to recreate her, but they hadn't gotten it right. They needed her for that. Not that she was quite right, either.

"I am so, _so_ sorry..." She told him softly as he drew his last, shuddering breath. This was all because of her. She had caused this, whether directly or indirectly... Because he had been right. She might _pretend_ to be a real person. Pretend to be human, say that she was turian, but in the end she _wasn't_. She was a horrific creature just like him, a thing of nightmares told in stories to small children in order to scare them into good behaviour.

She was pulled out of her thoughts by Tiberius' hand on her shoulder, but it did nothing to quell the wave of harsh truth rising through her. She noticed her biotics dancing across her skin but, for once, they didn't dissipate with her attention. Instead they seemed to intensify as the truth drove itself further into her mind.

_You're not human._

_You're not turian._

_Stop pretending to be..._

"Come on, we're close." She finally said, her tone dead and her sub-harmonics silenced. She didn't have the ability to express the turmoil within her so she didn't even begin to try.

"No." Tiberius said stubbornly but she refused to face him. She felt that, if he saw her now he would _truly_ see her and he would run for the hills. He would tell people that he had once known a hybrid monster and lived, and nobody would believe him. "Blue, look at me." He said softly but his words tore through her like daggers and she couldn't help but flinch at the impact.

"We have to keep moving." She finally said, her tone still dead.

"No. Not until you talk to me." He told her softly, touching her shoulder gently. His touch sent a jolt through her, setting fire to all of the emotions that she had suppressed to a smolder beneath her iron wall. Her sub-harmonics burst to life with a whole spectrum of emotions that melded together into an unrecognizable lurch of sound, not unlike a sob.

"What do you want me to say?" She hissed, so quietly that he almost missed it. "Do you want me to tell you that it was all a load of bull? That I don't know what he was talking about? Because I won't lie to you, Red."

As soon as she had uttered his nickname, he had pulled her close, into his embrace, ignoring the blue glow of biotics over her eyes that had overloaded her visor (thankfully the safeties had stopped any damage from reaching her eyes) and the pulse of them across her skin that she figured _must_ be hurting him at such proximity, but he didn't seem to care.

"It's okay, Blue." He said softly and she shook her head, tears cascading down her cheeks.

"No. It's not." She told him, shaking her head. "He was right. I'm just like him... A deformed _creature_."

"No. You said it yourself, you weren't raised in a lab." He said and she pulled away from him, pulling back her hair and removing her damaged visor.

"But I'm still a... A hybrid." She admitted and he didn't react, the affection and acceptance in his sub-harmonics not missing a beat.

"Blue, I don't care. _I love you_." He told her and her breath hitched in her throat, her biotics finally dying down.

"But how can you? _Look_ at me." She groaned, but he shook his head, pulling her close to him once more and lowering his forehead to hers, plates meeting plates.

"It doesn't change you. You're still stubborn and hot-headed and kinder than you want to be. You're still the woman I fell in love with. Always will be." He told her and she nodded, mutely, unable to do anything but accept his words.

"Red, I love you too. And I'm too turian for that mean anything other than..." She trailed off and his taloned fingers gently moved to her cheek and neck gently and almost innocuously brushing the place where bondmarks would be placed.

"I know, ani, I know." He said and her heart constricted as he used the turian term of endearment for bondmates. But then she was suddenly struck by the fact that they were still, technically, in the middle of a battlefield.

"We really do need to keep moving." She sighed, reluctantly, and he nodded.

"I know. But as soon as this is over..." He trailed off and her imagination quickly took hold, causing her to blush furiously.

"I'm gonna hold you to that." She told him, grinning, and he grinned back as they headed into the next section, only to see a whole group of soldiers beneath them.

"Yeah, we're definitely close." She whispered and he nodded.

"No way around." He whispered back and she grinned at him, her biotics once again pulsing across her skin.

"Then we go through." She said as his sub-harmonics trilled with surprise at her apparent control over her biotics, and she just grinned at him. The last block had been removed. She was more in-tune with that part of herself that she had stopped relying on somewhere in her anger. Her instincts were good, and she'd forgotten how to listen to them. She had stopped trusting them. And with that self-doubt had come the lack of biotics. "Watch this." She said before hurling herself from the catwalk and into the middle of the soldiers, her biotics exploding outwards and knocking back most of the enemies.

"Hello boys. Looking for me?" She asked as they took a moment to ready their weapons before firing. Tiberius growled at her reckless behaviour as he moved as quickly as his rifle would allow, taking down as many of the enemies as he could to stop them from overwhelming her.

It didn't take them long to clear the area and as soon as they had, he quickly made his way down from the catwalks, his sub-harmonics growling with frustration and a little anger. Sarah gave him a sheepish look.

"Ah. I know that sound." She sighed and he growled a little louder.

"That was stupid and reckless and... and..."

"I know, I'm sorry." She said, reassuringly. She may have worked off some of the built-up stress energy from their separation but she knew that he was still suffering from the ill-effects, and probably would until she let him mark her. A thrill went down her spine at the very thought, and she moved closer to him, letting her sub-harmonics tell him what she was thinking, which caused his own to growl back as she grinned at him.

"As _soon_ as we're done here." He promised her as he stepped closer and she felt her heart thunder in anticipation.

But she stepped away from him, frowning, as if bucket of cold water had been dumped over her.

"What? What is it?" He asked and she narrowed her eyes, surveying the room.

"Someone is coming..." She muttered and he frowned at her.

"An enemy?" He asked and she shook her head, her eyes quickly surveying the downed enemies.

"No... Someone else..." She muttered as she grabbed a shotgun from one of the bodies.

"Rookie? Smiley? You guys there?" Philip's voice rang out.

"Just go ahead and give our position away to everyone." They heard Tia grumble as Sarah gave a sigh of relief.

"Hey guys." Sarah said as they approached. "What are you doing here?"

"Got orders to meet you here. Apparently _their_ orders are coming from beyond those doors." Tia explained and Sarah began to feel overcome by nerves.

"Wait, shouldn't they send someone to help?" She asked and Tia sighed, realizing that Sarah had removed her broken visor.

"They concentrated their attack on HQ. The Executor was going to send a couple of Spectres our way, but it looks like they're tied up. It's just us." She said and Sarah nodded, resolutely.

"Then we finish this." She said as Tia moved to start hacking the door. "Room filled with big boss bad guys? No problem. I'm Angel Motherfucking Shepard-Vakarian. This won't end well for them." Sarah said, as much for her sake as for her friends'.

"We're with you, Blue." Tiberius told her and she smiled at him, blushing a little.

"Damn straight." Philip said and Tia rolled her eyes.

"I can't believe that I agreed to go on a date with you." She said, shaking her head, and Sarah grinned at the both of them.

"I was half convinced that you would wuss out." She said to Philip who rolled his eyes.

"Same here." He told her and she shrugged, before she heard Tiberius groan next to her.

"I really wish that I hadn't figured out what I just figured out..." He muttered and she let her sub-harmonics trill with apology.

"Five weeks." She told him and he growled back, although he nodded.

"I know. It was just easier when it was some faceless..." He started and Sarah pulled him close.

"Hey, I love _you_, remember?" She said and he nodded.

"I know, ani. I know." He told her softly.

"Guys, I'm almost done here." Tia called out and the other three readied their weapons.

"How many enemies do you think?" Philip asked and Sarah shrugged.

"Dunno. Lots, probably." She offered and he snorted.

"Helpful." He said, sarcastically, and Tiberius growled again.

"Red? Knock that shit off." Sarah warned him. "Or, at least, direct it towards the bad guys."

"Ready?" Tia asked and they all nodded in response.

"Ready." They said in unison before opening the door to what appeared to be an empty room.

"Huh. Was the intel bad?" Philip asked, but the rest of them shared a knowing look that screamed '_trap_'. But Sarah wondered who the trap was for? The officers that had been sent after them? Or the hybrid woman they had been searching for?

Sarah looked to Tiberius, her instincts telling her that as much as they knew it was a trap, forward was the only way. She watched the expression cross his face that she had grown accustomed to, that told her that he was calculating the odds and figuring out the best course of action.

_Onwards?_ She asked him with her sub-harmonics and body language and he nodded.

_Onwards it is._

They walked into the room as if they owned the place and Philip was the only one who jumped a little when they were promptly surrounded by Cerberus agents.

"Oh no, how unexpected." Sarah commented, sarcastically. She had learnt battlefield quips at the feet of her father, and she damn well knew how to be snarky in the face of danger.

"_Cocky thing, aren't you?_" A man asked as he approached via the catwalk and she made an effort to smirk, concentrating on how he sounded like Darth Vader instead of the imminent danger she was facing.

"Ooooh, _ominous_. Fancy facing me like a man, or am I going to have to kill you while you remain cowering in the shadows?" She asked, hoping to give Tiberius enough time to calculate a way out of their situation.

"_I don't have time to talk to scum like you_." He said and she raised an eyebrow at that.

"'Scum like me', huh? Well, that's a new one. Care to elaborate?" She asked and she could swear that he was sneering at her, even if she couldn't see him properly.

"_Less than human. You will serve our cause. Nothing more._" He told her and she folded her arms.

"Uh-huh... So, are you going to fill me in on what this 'cause' actually is?" She asked, still sure that he was smirking at her which was doing nothing more than spurring her smart mouth onwards, hoping that she was buying enough time. The fact that Tia had disappeared just before they'd opened the door hadn't been lost on her.

"_The advancement of humanity_." He sneered and she felt his glare shift to Tiberius, causing her to give a defensive growl. _Nobody_ messed with her bondmate.

"If you're so hell-bent on the 'advancement of humanity', why are you trying to perfect the hybrids?" She asked, hoping to turn the man's attention back to her.

"_They make useful soldiers and reduce the loss of human life. Your kind are nothing better than monsters from tales of old and you will, eventually, be slain as such._" He told her and she let her brow plates disappear into her hairline.

"Oh? Wanna say that to my face or are you going to keep hiding in the shadows?" She asked once more, and she watched as it worked and the figure stepped closer to the edge of the catwalk.

"_You are pitiful. We shall take your genetic code and then put you out of your misery. And there is nothing you can do to stop us._" He said and she felt her heart warm a little as Tiberius gave a protective growl, but she simply smirked.

"Oh, I know. I just said that so that she could get behind you." She said hoping beyond hope that she and Tia were on the same wave-length. Which, apparently, they were as he immediately spun around only to be hit back over the edge of the catwalk by a decloaking asari. "Anyone moves and I kill your boss." Sarah called out to the hybrid soldiers surrounding them and they seemed to take her word for it, before she turned and whispered to Tiberius. "I'm so glad that worked. I've wanted to use that line for _years_." She told him and he grinned at her, shaking his head a little.

She almost didn't notice Philip stiffen up next to her but it was Tia that asked.

"Philip?" She asked softly, jumping down from the catwalk and using her biotics to break her fall. He shook his head, remaining mute.

"Call them off. _All of them._" Sarah growled and the man in front of her nodded.

"_They are looking for you anyway_." He said and she wondered what was making his voice sound the way it did. Did he have Cerberus implants? He looked fairly normal.

"Who are you taking your orders from? Who is looking for Sarah?" Tiberius growled at the man who sneered back at him.

"_The Illusive Man_." He answered simply and Sarah shook her head.

"Bullshit. He's dead and has been for years." Sarah retorted but the man in front of her simply smiled.

"_What do you think people would think of you if they knew what you were?_" He asked her and she shook her head at the obvious attempt to change the subject.

"No, no. You were about to tell me just what exactly is going on." She told him but he kept smiling as if he hadn't heard her.

"_I think that even those you call friends would shun you._" He told her and she sighed, ignoring him.

"If you're not going to tell me then we'll just kill you and be done with it." She told him but her face fell as one of the consoles burst to life and Tia moved over to it.

"It's transmitting... I'm sorry Sarah, it's transmitting _you_. Your identity, biological profile, _everything_... There's no way to get it back." She said and Sarah frowned.

"Where is it transmitting to?" She asked, trying to remain calm, and Tia gave her a sympathetic look.

"Everywhere. Every console and every screen on the Citadel and all ships in range." She told her and Sarah growled in anger, a poor effort to keep her fear in check.

"We don't have time for this." She said but the hybrids chose that point to attack, quickly overwhelming them and allowing their leader to escape. Sarah growled at that, knowing that she might not get another chance to find out who was chasing her. She let her biotics loose, momentarily unwilling to harm the creatures attacking them until she saw them surrounding Tiberius. At that point she let loose a growl, letting her biotics tear them limb from limb.

It didn't take long for the room to be cleared, but her biotics refused to fade until Tiberius pulled her close to him.

"It's okay, ani. I'm okay." He told her and she nodded, wrapping her arms around him to confirm what he was saying.

"You're bleeding." She managed, her hand finding a wound on his arm.

"So are you." He pointed out and she nodded as she became aware of her own wounds.

"I heal quickly." She told him before pulling away to survey the area, trying not to note the purple blood everywhere.

"Sarah, everyone knows now." Tia said and she nodded mutely in response. She couldn't quite grasp what that would mean. It was too big of a change.

"How long have you known?" She asked and the asari smiled gently at her.

"Months now. You're really bad at keeping secrets." She said and Sara snorted hollowly in response.

"Yeah. Understatement of the century. So, everyone knows, the big bad leader guy got away and we have no idea who the shadowy asshole even is. That about sum up this clusterfuck?" She asked them and Philip shook his head.

"That's not... Exactly true." He said quietly, his gaze not leaving the floor, and everyone frowned at him.

"Philip, what is it?" Tia asked him gently and his gaze suddenly moved upwards, locking with hers.

"I know who he is." He said and Tia moved her hand to his arm in reassurance.

"Who?" She asked and he sighed.

"His name is Philip Jones Sr. and, yes, it's as bad as it sounds." He managed to whisper out and Tia immediately pulled him into a hug.

"I am _so_ sorry." She told him and he shook his head before moving his gaze to the other two.

"I didn't... I didn't know. If I did, I would have told someone, I swear." He said and Sarah nodded.

"We know, Philip. It's okay." She told him before her omni-tool flashed at her and she activated it. "They're retreating. You guys are being ordered to help with cleanup. I am being ordered to the hospital." She said, her voice quiet.

"I'll come with you." Tiberius said and she smiled weakly.

"Now you disobey orders? I... I'll be fine. I just..." She said, fighting the tears that threatened to fall as she started to crash from the adrenaline.

"Blue, what is it?" He asked and she gulped back the sob that she felt building.

"Something's wrong. I think... I think someone got hurt. I have to go. I'll meet up with you later, okay?" She asked and he nodded.

"Yeah, ani. Okay."

* * *

**AN: Additional - Hehehe. Told you stuff happens! Just in case you were wondering, the second song in this chapter is The Day I Died by Just Jack. I figured it's a little more obscure than usual. Or maybe not. (I'm just gonna go ahead and assume that you all know I Need a Hero...) ^^**


	12. Chapter Twelve - The Day I Died

**AN: Thanks to everyone who has favourited, followed and double thanks to everyone who has reviewed.**

**Special thanks goes to my beta Spyke1985! You're the best!**

**It's here! The chapter where *stuff* happens! Last chapter of Part One but don't worry! There are still two more parts to come. ^^**

**Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Twelve - The Day I Died**

Sarah made her way to the hospital via the catwalks, not wanting to run into anyone. She didn't want to deal with the stares. Her step finally faltered as she reached the hospital and her sense of foreboding grew.

"I figured I would find you up here." A familiar voice came from behind her and she smiled weakly.

"That predictable, huh?" She asked, not succeeding in stopping her voice from breaking. She was tired. Just... _tired_.

"Oh, honey..." Her mother said, pulling her into a hug. Something in the back of Sarah's mind reminded her that the entire point of her being here was to prove that she was strong enough to manage on her own. But she was too tired to care. "Bad day?" Her mum asked gently and a little jokingly, causing Sarah to choke out a hollow laugh.

"You have no idea." She said as her mother pulled away and sat down on the edge of the catwalk, indicating that Sarah should sit next to her. "Who got hurt?" She asked and her mother's face fell.

"You've always been too sensitive. You got your fear of hospitals from me, you know? When you were a kid, I didn't do or say anything but you still picked up on the fact that I was scared for you when we went into one." Sarah shook her head at the obvious attempt to stall.

"Mum, who was it? Where's Dad?" Sarah asked and her mother shook her head.

"Your father is fine. He's with your aunt Sol. She got wounded. It's nothing permanently damaging..."

"But?" Sarah asked, knowing that there was more.

"Sarah, it's okay." Her mother lied and Sarah gave her a look that told her that she knew. "Her wounds weren't that bad. They'll heal."

"_But_?" She prodded and her mother sighed.

"She doesn't want anyone to know." She said softly and Sarah frowned.

"Know _what_?" Sarah asked.

"Corpalis. She's in the initial stages and she won't be bad for years. Not until after the boys leave home, thankfully. But she didn't want anyone to know." She said and at that Sarah pulled her knees up to her chest and wished that the day of horrors would just end.

"I wish I had some good news for you but..."

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry, Sar. We can't contain it. Everyone knows who and what you are." She said and Sarah sighed, nodding.

"I figured as much. So, what now?" She asked, knowing the answer.

"You know that I hate to be the one to say this but..."

"But I have to hide, right? Leave here." She said and her mother nodded.

"I promise that I will do everything in my power to make sure that Cerberus can't touch you but, I'm sorry Sarah, there will be others." Her sub-harmonics trilled with sympathy and Sarah nodded.

"I figured as much. I have to leave everything behind, don't I?" She asked and her mother frowned a little.

"You mean every_one_?" She asked and Sarah let out another hollow laugh.

"Yeah." She said and her sub-harmonics chimed in to tell her mother everything she needed to know.

"Oh, Sarah... I wish there was another way." She said and Sarah nodded.

"I know. But wishing for something doesn't make it real..."

* * *

Sarah ignored the beeping of the apartment door as she packed her things, hoping that she was packing the right things but unable to see through the haze of tears that refused to stop.

She didn't notice the door stop beeping.

"Blue..." She heard from behind her and she stopped still.

"You hacked the door?" She asked, not wanting to address the real issue.

"No, Tia gave me a key. I was just ringing to be polite but since you wouldn't answer..." He said and she sat down on her bed next to her bags.

"They're not going to stop coming for me." She told him and he nodded, sitting next to her.

"I know." He said and she wiped the tears from her eyes, glad that they had stopped falling.

"The Normandy leaves tomorrow and I'm going to be on it." She told him.

"I'm coming with you." He said and she shook her head.

"No, you're not. Red, I'm not staying there. I have to disappear. At least until after this Cerberus issue is dealt with. It'll be hard enough for just me. We won't both be able to vanish. Not together." She told him and he shook his head.

"No, Blue, there has to be another way..." He started but she just shook her head, her sub-harmonics trilling with despair.

"Red, if you can think of one then I am all ears." She said before facing him. "I don't want to lose you." She said and he shook his head.

"Blue, you're not going to lose me. No matter how long I have to wait for you." He told her and she bit her lip, hard enough to draw blood.

"It could be years before it's safe again. I mean, we don't even know where to start looking for them." She said and he shook his head.

"I don't care. Blue, I love you. I will _always_ love you." With that he lowered his forehead to hers and she felt her heart constrict and she wished that she could stay there forever.

"I love you too, Red. But... I just keep thinking that the next thing I tell you about myself will be the thing that sends you running." She admitted and he chuckled softly.

"Blue, nothing that you tell me could ever make me run or stop loving you." He told her and she raised her eyebrows.

"I can't have kids." She told him.

"I still love you."

"I don't know how long my natural lifespan is. I could have a hundred more years or I could only have ten."

"_I still love you_. I love you, no matter what. I've bonded to you, Blue. That will never change." He told her and she gave him a bittersweet smile.

"You deserve so much better than me." She told him and he shook his head.

"Don't, Blue. Don't start with that. You're brilliant and beautiful and I can't imagine having fallen for anyone else." As soon as he had finished she pressed her lips to his plates. The kiss was passionate and a little bit desperate, as if she couldn't bear another second of them tiptoeing around each other with words that, in the end, meant so little. Neither of them would believe the strength of the feelings the other had for them until they were shown it, and they were both determined on showing the other.

She moved herself so that she had one leg over each side of his waist and continued to kiss him. He moved his hand to the side of her neck and she moaned into his mouth, wanting nothing more than for him to mark her, her instincts drawing her own hand to his neck. He gave her a growl before pulling away from the kiss.

"Do it." He growled and she gave him a disbelieving look.

"Do you really want to be marked by me? To lose all chances of a normal mate and family?" She asked him and he laughed softly.

"Have I not made that clear, ani? Unless you don't want me to mark you..." He said and she shook her head.

"You don't know how much I want that, _ani_. I just had to know that it was what you wanted." She told him and her breath hitched in her throat as his talons dug in a little to the right spot and she growled at him. "_Stop teasing._" She told him and he smiled before finally digging them in deep enough to mark her and she growled before digging her own talon-like nails into the rough skin of his neck, the sound of his growl intensifying the heat that was pooling in her groin as she kissed along the underside of his mandible.

Then there was _that_ look. His deep green eyes pierced hers with a look of predatory lust mixed with not just a deep longing but also, what she could only identify as, _love_, confirming his feelings for her beyond all doubt.

With that she began to move her fingers over his armour, ignoring the damage and blood-stains. She didn't want to remember the bad parts of the day. _He loved her_ and in that moment it was all she wanted to know. She couldn't think about their impending separation and how she would lose him for an undetermined amount of time. All that mattered was that he was here with her now and, despite the lust growling through his sub-harmonics, he was deliberate to keep his touch slow and loving as she removed her top and he began caressing the soft skin of her waist in _exactly_ the right way to make her growl at him with pleasure and impatience.

The pieces of his armour clashed to the floor in quick succession but were ignored by both the turian and hybrid as they kept their mouths together, their hands anxiously moving across each others' bodies, as if trying to commit everything to memory.

It wasn't long before Tiberius began to growl with impatience and Sarah couldn't help but quirk her browplates at the sound. The raw passion he was displaying was so uncharacteristic of him and so, _so_ much better than anything her subconscious could dream up. She rolled her hips against his, eliciting a deeper growl from him before she let her talon-like nails cut through his undersuit, as his own talons sliced through what clothing she hadn't yet gotten around to removing, revealing the delicious sight of his fully erect cock beneath her.

Her breathing was hard and ragged, matching his own, and her heart was thundering in her chest as his eyes met hers once more. In that moment, she was sure of nothing more than the fact that she loved him.

She started to growl again and the sound caused him to stand upright with her, pushing her body against the wall as she hooked her legs around his waist and he nipped down her neck. The sudden ferocity of the act served to do nothing more than increase her need for him as he slowly slid himself inside of her, causing her to give another moan of pleasure.

After he had started to take her against the wall, she had been so sure that he had gone beyond the point of any reason but she was being proved wrong by his deliberately slow movements that had her riding so close to the edge of climax. She moved her hand to the soft skin under his fringe in response, carefully teasing it so that he let out an almost feral growl. His movements became faster and a little more frantic in response, quickly pushing her over the edge as she cried out his name, pulling him not far behind her.

They rested as they were, leaning against the wall, for several moments before she began to kiss along his bondmark.

"You know, I think I finally understand the fascination with lips that the other species all seem to have." He commented and she couldn't help but smirk a little.

"Oh, Red. I haven't even _begun_ to show you why they're so great." She commented suggestively, knowing full well that he would be good for several more rounds before the morning came.

* * *

"I don't want to go."

There is was. The truth. She was being ripped from his side by circumstance and she _didn't want to go_.

"I don't want you to go." He told her honestly, his fingers moving to brush her bondmark, causing her to blush and smile at him. "But I want you to live more." He admitted and she sighed.

"You're being very sensible about this." She told him and his sub-harmonics trilled with a little humour and a lot of sorrow.

"I fear that if I wasn't, you would never leave. And then Cerberus would come and take you from me in a much more painful way. Blue, I want nothing more than to stay by your side forever." He told her and, despite her every effort, tears began to fall down her face.

"I promise that I will do everything in my power to come back to you, ani." She said and he nodded. "Just promise me something in return?"

"Anything, ani." He told her as she gave him a weak smile.

"Don't do anything stupid. No matter what happens, no matter how this ends... Just promise me that you'll look after yourself?" She asked.

"Of course." He promised and she gave him one last, bittersweet smile.

"Goodbye." She said softly before kissing him one last time and then quickly heading up to the catwalks and away from him.

"Goodbye." He said back, although he doubted that she heard him. He felt... empty. It wasn't the same feeling of frustration that he had felt before. He knew now, beyond a doubt, that she belonged to him as much as he belonged to her. Now he just felt very much alone without her by his side.

He wasn't sure how long he had been stood outside of Tia's apartment when he heard it. An explosion a few sections away, from what he could tell. It sounded small and controlled. He headed towards it as quickly as he could, figuring that he could help.

By the time he arrived, the area had been sectioned off already and there was a group of C-Sec officers, including Tia, clearing away debris.

"Hey. What happened?" He asked the asari, still too preoccupied by Sarah's departure to notice the stoney nature of her features.

"It looks like one of the explosives Cerberus set up to get by the security lockdown. It wasn't detonated until someone got too close." She said, her tone dead.

"Any casualties?" He asked and she nodded.

"Just one. They were too close to the explosion to get a positive ID. But this was found not far from the site of the explosion." She told him, her lip trembling a little as she handed him something and he took it gently, his world falling out from under him as he realized what it was.

Half of a charm bracelet with one charm hanging from it.

A blue half heart.

* * *

"It doesn't mean anything. That could have belonged to anyone." Philip reasoned as he paced the empty C-Sec office. Tia sat on the desk, her knees pulled up to her chest, trying her best not to cry. Tiberius stood leaning against the wall, his hand clamped tightly around the mangled charm bracelet. He hadn't said anything since Tia had given it to him but his sub-harmonics were screaming with pain.

"The explosion was on the catwalks. No one else ever uses them." Tia said softly before turning to Tiberius. "You okay?" She asked and he wrenched his gaze up to meet hers, unable to say anything for several moments.

"I thought that I would know." He admitted before lapsing back into silence for a few moments, unsure of how to articulate what he was feeling. "You always hear the stories about when bondmates die. The other just _knows_. I didn't feel anything until..." He said and Tia nodded. He was still in shock, that much was obvious. She hated it. One cycle ago everything was fine. Better than fine.

And now one of her only friends was dead, leaving her other friend without his bondmate.

She wondered how long he would last before doing something stupid. The pain that he was in was clear and she didn't know if she could handle losing the both of them.

"You ever going to be okay?" She asked him gently and he shook his head.

"No. I don't think so." He told her honestly. As soon as he said it, his omni-tool flashed at him, although he made no attempt to check the message.

"It might be about..." Tia started and he gave her a dead look before nodding and activating the device.

"What does it say?" Philip asked and Tiberius shook his head.

"Nothing." He replied.

"Well, who sent it?" He asked.

"Nobody." He replied and the human frowned before looking at the message himself and confirming that it, indeed, said nothing and was, indeed, from nobody. Which was, of course, impossible. What the message did have, was an audio file attached.

"Play it." Philip told him and he did so, the music filling the room very familiar to both Tia and Philip.

"_I'll cry with you honey if you need me to,_

_Dry your tears, dry your tears for you,_

_There is no crime, there is no crime,_

_You and I were meant to live our dreams._

_So be very kind,_

_Don't let the world, fall on your shoulders,_

_If so, oh hopefully,_

_I would find, I would find you again._

_Oh this is just what we need,_

_And this is finally for real,_

_I guess we never wanted anything else,_

_I guess we never wanted anything,_

_And you were right to love me._"

"It's a recording. From one of our band rehearsals." Philip said and Tiberius frowned.

"What's the noise at the beginning?" He asked, trying to keep his mind from anything but the aching in his heart caused from hearing her voice again, and they both gave him blank looks.

"What noise?" Philip asked.

"It sounded like a series of high-pitched beeps." He said and Tia frowned, transferring the file from his omni-tool to a nearby console.

"What are you doing?" Philip asked as Tia ran the file through an analysis program.

"Sarah once told me about an old form of human communication. Morris code?"

"Morse code." He corrected and she nodded.

"Which is what this is, according to the analysis software. Five letters in human common. A-L-I-V-E. Alive?" She asked and Tiberius's eyes snapped up to meet hers, a little bit of hope daring to enter his heart.

"That has to be Rookie! See? She's not dead!" He said and Tia frowned.

"We can't know that." She said and Philip raised his eyebrows at her.

"Tia, the only person I can think of that would be capable of sending a blank message with absolutely _no_ return information - not classified or unidentified, but _missing_ - is the Shadow Broker." He said and some of the sorrow seemed to lift from her features.

"Who is known to associate with Commander Shepard." Tia said.

"_Exactly_. If she wanted to hide, the best way to do it would be to fake her death. And everyone would have to believe it. Believe our reactions, especially Smiley's. But she couldn't let him think that she was dead permanently. She knew that it would kill him. Hence the incredibly cryptic message that no one else would understand." He said and Tia smiled at him although Tiberius shook his head.

"We can't know that it's from her." He said and Tia frowned at him.

"But do you think that it is?" She asked and he sighed. He couldn't deny it, even if it was nothing more than empty hope, his heart was telling him one thing.

Sarah was alive.

* * *

**End of Part One**

* * *

**AN - Additional: ^^ Part 2 coming soon...**


	13. Part 2 - Chapter Thirteen - A Long Way H

**AN: I'm back with a brand new beat! Jk, only Part two. :D**

**Thanks to everyone who has favourited, followed and double thanks to everyone who has reviewed.**

**Special thanks goes to my beta Spyke1985! You're the best!**

**Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

**Part Two - The Angel and The Demon**

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen – A Long Way Home**

**The Citadel - Upper Wards **

**2219 - 23 Years After the End of the Reaper War **

"_Hey there Delilah what's it like in New York City, _

_I'm a thousand miles away, _

_But girl tonight you look so pretty, yes you do, _

_Times Square can't shine as bright as you, I swear it's true. _

_Hey there Delilah don't you worry about the distance, _

_I'm right there if you get lonely give this song another listen, _

_Close your eyes, listen to my voice it's my disguise, _

_I'm by your side. _

_Oh it's what you do to me, _

_Oh it's what you do to me..._"

"I should've known that I would find you up here." Philip said as he approached the turian sitting on the roof of his apartment, ignoring the party going on below him. "You know, if you wanted to be here to congratulate us, the traditional method for doing so is to get hammered in our apartment with everyone else."

"I didn't feel like partying." Tiberius replied as Philip sat down next to him with a beer in each hand.

"You never feel like partying, Smiley. It would conflict with your ominous brooding thing. There's a reason they've nicknamed you The Demon, you know. Beer?" He offered and the turian shook his head. "Right. You still don't drink." He paused, waiting for the turian to say something, but he stayed silent, which wasn't unusual for Tiberius, but Philip suspected that it had more to do with the date than anything else. "Tia's been keeping herself busy organizing this party. It's way more extravagant than necessary. I'm sure I don't even know half of these people." He commented and the turian nodded.

"Not surprising given that it took you two three years to get engaged." He commented and Philip nodded.

"Yeah, I guess. Six, if you're counting from when I first met her. She was the one who decided to have it today, you know?" He asked and the turian shook his head.

"I had assumed that it was you. Seemed like it would have been a good excuse to miss work on the busiest day of the year." He commented and Philip snorted.

"As if the Executor would take any excuse from us today. The Anti-Terrorism Task Force can't take the day off on the anniversary of the end of the Reaper War." He commented and Tiberius nodded.

"Not that anything actually happened. I could have used the distraction." He said and Philip sighed soberly.

"So, what's the thinking this year? Dead or alive?"

"Alive."

"Good. You're less mopey when you're convinced she's still kicking." Philip said and Tiberius shrugged. He knew all too well that he had hit low points in the last three years. But there were odd little things; times when life went right for no apparent reason and he would swear that someone had to be pulling the strings. And every time he'd receive a message from nobody that simply said 'sorry'. It was such a _Blue_ thing to say that he was sure that it was her. But then he wouldn't get one for several months and he would wonder if he had been clinging onto blind hope in his desperation.

Philip watched his friend carefully as he stayed silent and fidgeted with the little blue half heart charm that he was sure the turian kept on him at all times.

"Smiley, I hate to say it, you know I do, but... It's been three years. Maybe it's time to move on." The human suggested and Tiberius shook his head.

"You say it as if it's so simple." He said and Philip shrugged.

"Look, we both know that we're no closer to catching these bastards than we were three years ago. And until we make some progress, it's too dangerous for the two of you to be reunited. What makes you think you'll ever see her again?" He asked and Tiberius sighed.

"She promised." He said simply before Philip nodded and changed the subject, knowing that the turian didn't want to talk about his lost love anymore.

"Who'd have thought we'd be here three years ago?" Philip asked and Tiberius gave a sad smile.

"Well, I was sure you and Tia would never get together. And I was pretty sure that you would end up fired. And I was definitely sure that we would never be friends. So, I think it's safe to say no one." Tiberius told him and Philip laughed a little shaking his head.

"Yeah. No one sounds about right." He commented and the turian frowned at him a little.

"Won't Tia be looking for you?" He asked and Philip shook his head.

"Nah. She sent me up here. I said that you'd want to be alone but she wanted me to make sure that you didn't 'do anything stupid'." He said and Tiberius shook his head at the asari's worrying.

"I wouldn't ruin this for you guys." He told him and Philip raised an eyebrow.

"I can't help but notice that you didn't say that you wouldn't do anything stupid." He pointed out and Tiberius gave what Philip figured was probably the equivalent of a sad smile.

"Don't worry, I promised Blue I wouldn't." Tiberius said and Philip shook his head.

"You two and your promises..." He muttered and their omni-tools flashed at them. "Damn it, I can't believe the Executor is calling us into work tonight. Tia is gonna have a shitfit."

* * *

"I'm sorry that I had to call you all in tonight. I promise that I won't keep you long." Executor Vakarian told them as they arrived in the office.

"Couldn't this have waited until the morning?" Tia asked, folding her arms, and the Executor shook her head.

"I'm afraid not. Cerberus has made a move. A big one." She told them and the asari immediately moved her hands to her hips and raised her eyebrow.

"Where?" She asked, immediately interested.

"Earth." The Executor told them, immediately grabbing everyone's attention.

"What the hell would they hit on Earth?" Philip asked and it was Tia that answered.

"They hit the Think Tank, didn't they?" She asked and the Executor nodded.

"Wait, the what?" Philip asked and Tia sighed, rolling her eyes.

"Trust you to never read the reports. They're a group of scientists on Earth. They act as our first line of scientific defense against Cerberus. Their exact location is kept a secret." Tia told him and the Executor nodded.

"That just about sums it up. So you must realize how serious it is when I tell you that two of their members were attacked a few hours ago." The Executor told them and Tia frowned a little.

"Were they hurt?" She asked, clearly concerned, and the Executor narrowed her eyes a little but shook her head.

"No. They're fine." She said and Tia held her stare. Philip and Tiberius watched the two of them, feeling as if there was an entire layer to their conversation that they were not party to.

"Was Dr Mizuiro one of them?" The asari asked, causing the Executor's sub-harmonics to trill a little with surprise before she clamped down on them.

"Yes, she was. She managed to hold off the attacker while she and her colleague escaped." Executor Vakarian told them as Philip frowned.

"Wait, so who is Doctor What's-Her-Face?" He asked and Tia sighed, bringing up the doctor's file on her omni-tool.

"Doctor Azula Mizuiro is the youngest member of the Think Tank. She got her PhD last year and her thesis on the uses of gene therapy to combat degenerative diseases has helped to reduce the symptoms of several severe genetic conditions, including Corpalis Syndrome. However, she hates publicity. There are no clear pictures of her available but we know that she is a human female in her early twenties, reasonably tall and has short red hair and green eyes. Her most distinguishing features are a scar over her right eye and her glasses. That's all we've got." Tia said and the Executor nodded.

"That about sums it up. Of course, they work out of an Alliance R & D lab and they've been given plenty of security but the scientists, Dr Mizuiro in particular, object to their presence. So I'm sending you three on the first transport tomorrow morning. Hopefully you'll be able to keep them safe while getting some good intel on Cerberus activity." She told them and Tia frowned.

"You're sending us? All three of us?" She asked and the Executor nodded.

"Can you think of a reason why I shouldn't?" She asked and Tia shook her head.

"If anything, I think you should have sent us sooner." The Executor's sub-harmonics trilled a little with apology and guilt at that.

"I would have if it had been possible. We didn't want to draw attention to them." The Executor said and Tia sighed.

"Yeah, and look how well that turned out."

* * *

Philip watched Tia as she slept on the transport, wondering if she was okay. He knew that every year she let herself get too worked up between worrying about Tiberius and her own struggles with what had gone down three years beforehand with Sarah. He felt as if things would have been easier if she had actually died or if they could keep in constant contact with her. But all three of them worried about her, even after so many years. It was hard not to when they kept on broadcasting news vids and documentaries on her. The dead hybrid child of two famed Spectres made for good ratings apparently...

"Stop staring." Tia groaned as she rolled over to face him, opening her eyes to frown at him.

"Sorry." He said and her frown deepened.

"I know that look. You're worried about me." She said and he nodded, sighing.

"Yeah. You were kind of short tempered with the Executor." He said and she raised an eyebrow.

"You think I wasn't right?" She asked and he shook his head.

"Not at all. It's just not like you." He said and Tia kept frowning.

"Philip, Dr Mizuiro is just about the only chance we have right now of stopping Cerberus from creating more hybrids. Trust me, we should have been sent to keep her safe years ago. You'll understand when we get there." She said cryptically and he sighed, nodding.

"Okay then. We should get up. We'll arrive in the next couple of minutes." He told her and she groaned.

"But I don't wanna." She said and he laughed at little, kissing her softly.

"I know, babe. But it's not gonna look very professional if we show up late." He said and she groaned again.

"When the hell did you become so responsible?" She asked and he laughed again.

"I blame you for that." He told her as the small transport landed at the docks just next to the Alliance labs. They disembarked and were greeted by a woman who appeared to be in her early forties. She was tall and slim with long, blonde hair and dark eyes.

"Good morning. I'm Dr Kirmasova. Or Nataliya, whichever you prefer." The woman told them as they disembarked, and Philip recognized her thick accent as Russian.

"You're one of the scientists?" Philip asked and she nodded.

"Yes. I'm the xeno-biologist of our little group. I decided that I should be the one to greet you and fill you in." She explained and he frowned a little.

"Are you the one in charge?" Philip asked and she shook her head as she began to move towards the Alliance buildings and the three C-Sec officers fell into step behind her.

"No. No one is technically 'in charge' of our little group but Azula normally handles the new security." Nataliya explained and Tia couldn't help but smirk a little.

"Except she doesn't know that we're here." She observed and Nataliya gave an apologetic shrug.

"She hates it whenever security is increased. She says that it's unnecessary, and that it does nothing but interfere with her work. When approached about the possibility of help being loaned from C-Sec, she refused it outright." She explained and Tia nodded in understanding.

"So, you went behind her back?" Philip asked and the doctor nodded.

"I had to. She may not want to admit it, but things are getting too dangerous." She said and Tia gave a slightly distant look before asking her next question.

"What's she like?" She asked and Philip frowned at the seemingly random question.

"Damn smart and the hardest worker I've ever met." Nataliya offered but Tia didn't seem satisfied.

"I meant outside the lab." She said and the doctor gave a sad smile.

"She doesn't exist outside of the lab. She sleeps here, eats here... She's barely left the lab in the entire time I've known her. And since we were attacked, I've begun to fear that she'll never leave again." She explained.

"You sound worried for her." Tia observed and Nataliya stopped still, turning to face the three of them.

"You must understand that our work here has painted a bullseye on our backs. And Azula is the prime target. But she seems to have no concept of her own mortality. And she just loves to piss people off. Whether it's the other members of the team, the Council or Cerberus itself. Sometimes I think she only knows how to communicate in sarcastic comments. You three are going to have your work cut out for you, she'll try to drive you away with everything she's got." She warned.

"But you seem close to her." Philip noted and Nataliya nodded.

"Only because I've known her the longest, apart from Cee and Damien, of course. I have tried to get her to go out and have fun. To meet new people. It... It never ends well. From what I can tell, she lost someone close to her. I tried to ask her about it once. Asked who had died to leave her so... disconnected. She just gave a bitter laugh and said 'me'. Take from that what you will." She said before they started walking again. Philip gave a sideways glance to Tiberius but his facial expression was as stoic as ever.

"You're awfully open with this information." Tia said, frowning, and the woman next to her sighed.

"Not with everyone. In fact, I respect her too much to give this information out, normally. I care about her as if she were family. But, like I said, she has a habit of chasing people away. She will tell you to leave and she will not be kind about it. I am simply giving you a basis for her behaviour in the hopes that you do not do as she asks. She may not see it, but none of us are soldiers. She may be a biotic but if Cerberus decides to launch a bigger attack, we will be defenseless." She said and Tia nodded.

"You don't have to worry about that. Trust me." She assured the woman as they entered one of the buildings and she moved to the intercom that connected them to the labs.

"Zu? You in the lab?" She asked.

"Yeah, where else would I be?" A female voice replied, shortly, through the speaker, barely audible over the static.

"We've got some new security arrivals." She said, visibly crossing her fingers.

"From where?" The voice asked, suspicion evident.

"C-Sec." Nataliya replied and the static seemed to increase for a moment.

"I told the Executor that we didn't need her to send anyone. I bet she sent some rookies just to spite me..." The voice replied angrily and Nataliya shook her head.

"Actually, she sent three special agents." She replied and the line went silent for a few moments.

"Who?" The voice finally replied and Nataliya frowned a little.

"Agents Jones, Tallin and Namar." She said and the line went silent for a few more moments.

"Tell them to leave. Tell them to leave and to tell their boss that if this is some kind of sick joke, I'm not laughing." The voice replied, quieter than before.

"Zu..."

"I mean it, Nat." The voice called back and the woman turned off the intercom.

"Should we leave?" Philip asked and everyone shook their heads at him.

"Have they gone?" The voice came back, softer than before.

"Yeah." Nataliya lied and they heard the lab door open. Tiberius barely caught a glimpse of the red haired geneticist before she saw them and immediately ran back into the lab.

"Nataliya!" The voice screamed over the intercom and Tia rolled her eyes before speaking into it herself.

"Hey there, Dr Mizuiro? This is Agent Namar speaking but you can call me Tia." She said brightly.

"Leave." She said and Tia sighed.

"No need to be rude about it." Tia said.

"Pay no attention to the woman behind the curtain." The voice replied and Tia rolled her eyes.

"Hey, did you know what your last name means in ja-"

"Fine! Tia, fine. You win." The other voice grumbled before the woman left the lab again and turned to face them, hands on her hips and glaring through safety glasses. She was wearing a black turtleneck and a knee length, red tartan skirt with black tights and boots under her scruffy white lab coat. Her vibrant red hair was cut into a choppy bob with thick bangs that fell over the top of the large plastic glasses, only partially covering the large scar over her right eye. Tiberius couldn't help but frown at her tired, green eyes. For some reason he had the overwhelming feeling that they weren't the right colour...

Then his eyes came to fall on the red half heart that was on a chain around her neck, just as her scent reached him.

"_Blue_..." He whispered, feeling as if all of the air had been knocked out of his lungs. She shifted her weight at that and her stance softened as her gaze fell.

"Been a while." She managed, still not moving closer towards him, and he nodded.

"Three years." He said softly and she flinched a little.

"I... I appreciate you guys coming all the way out here to help but I don't need the extra hands. Really. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to work to do." She said hurriedly before returning to the lab. Tiberius was stunned by her sudden disappearance but Tia just sighed.

"You'd think that she would get better at not running away from her problems..." The asari said as Nataliya followed Sarah (or Azula or whatever she was calling herself) into the lab before coming back out.

"She's disappeared." Nataliya told them and Tia nodded.

"That's okay. We know where she'll be. Honey, can you go and speak to her?" She asked Philip who frowned at her.

"Shouldn't that be Smiley's job?" He asked and she shook her head.

"Not right now." She said and he left as she turned to face Tiberius.

"You okay?" She asked and he shook his head.

"I don't know. I wasn't... I didn't think that I would see her again until after we'd dealt with Cerberus. If she was even still alive..." He said and Tia nodded.

"I didn't want to say anything in case I was wrong." She told him and he nodded.

"It's okay. I just... Spirits, it's like waking up from a bad dream." He admitted.

"She'll stop running. She just doesn't know how to handle this." Tia said.

"I'm not sure I do, either..."


	14. Chapter Fourteen - Water-Coloured Memori

**AN: Hey everybody! Sorry about the wait. More chapters to come in the morning but right now I'm falling asleep at my computer...**

**Thanks to everyone who has favourited, followed and double thanks to everyone who has reviewed.**

**Special thanks goes to my beta Spyke1985! You're the best!**

**Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen - Water-coloured Memories**

"You and roofs. Some things never change." Philip said as he found Sarah sitting, clutching her knees to her chest and crying silently. He sat down next to her and put his hand on her shoulder. "Hey, it's okay, Sarah." He said and she gave a hollow sounding bark of a laugh.

"I had forgotten what my name sounded like." She told him, frowning a little and willing the tears to stop.

"Should I call you 'Azula'? What kind of name is that anyway?" He said and she looked away sheepishly.

"Azul means blue in Spanish." She told him and he smiled, shaking his head.

"Why'd you run, Rookie?" He asked and she smiled at the old nickname.

"Because three years is a long time. Although, sometimes it feels like no time at all. When I saw him it felt as if we had just said goodbye yesterday..." She admitted and Philip sighed.

"So, if you feel that way then why did you try to send him away?" He asked and she shook her head.

"I'm not the same girl he fell in love with, Philip." She told him and he laughed a little at that.

"Really? Because running away is very you, Rookie." He told her and she gave him a weak smile.

"I guess some things really don't change. But some things do. I mean, just look at you. At some point in the last three years a small rodent died on your face." She joked and he laughed a little, pulling a mock frown.

"Not you too. Everyone is hating on the beard." He said and she gave him a weak smile.

"Tia hates it too?" She asked and he nodded.

"She keeps on threatening to call off the wedding unless I shave it off." He told her and she sighed before taking off her safety glasses and replacing them with real ones, at which Philip frowned. "Since when do you wear glasses?" He asked and she sighed, running her hand through her short, red locks.

"Like I said, three years is a long time. The scar isn't just for show. I did get caught in that blast. I didn't die, obviously, but I did get pretty badly injured..."

* * *

**Three Years Ago - The Normandy **

"Hey." Sarah didn't bother sitting up as her mother walked into her room, too preoccupied with staring out of her window as she lay back on her bed, her head dangling, upside down, over the side.

"Hey." She replied as her mother lay down next to her.

"There a reason we're upside down?" She asked and Sarah sighed a little, trying to ignore way one side of her face ached beneath the bandage. She wondered if she'd ever be able to see out of her right eye again.

"It's really hard to cry when you're upside down." Sarah said and her mother gave the best nod she could in such a position.

"Yeah. I guess it is. You haven't really talked to anyone since you got up. I just wanted to say that if you needed to talk to anyone, I'm here." She said and Sarah gave her a weak smile. "I'm glad you're back. We missed you." She said, and Sarah felt as if she wasn't just talking about her departure for C-Sec.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to become so wrapped up in... What happened." She said and her mother gave her a sympathetic smile.

"It's okay. You're too much like your father, sometimes. You just needed to figure it out for yourself." She said and Sarah snorted softly.

"Is that why you killed those bastards before I got the chance?" She asked and her mother gave a guilty shrug.

"Like I said, you're too much like your father. You need someone standing in the way of your shot to get you to back down. I couldn't let you become like me. Revenge isn't something you can ever recover from." She said and Sarah frowned a little.

"But you still killed them." She stated and her mother nodded.

"Anyone who messes with you has to deal with me and your dad." She said simply and Sarah gave a grateful smile before it became a frown once more.

"I don't know why you were so bothered about me not getting revenge. It's not as if I was any better to start with." She pointed out and her mother shook her head.

"You're back, aren't you? It was just a matter of time." She said and Sarah gave a sad smile.

"And some really good friends." Sarah said and her mother nodded.

"Your aunts told me that you ended up with quite a little posse." She said and Sarah snorted.

"Posse? Philip would love that. And Tia would roll her eyes at him. And Red... Red would ignore them and then I would catch his eye and grin and he would give that little almost-smile he does." Sarah said, letting her hand trace the bondmark that was still fresh on her neck, before continuing on in response to the question in her mother's sub-harmonics. "There was always the policy growing up. I'd talk to Dad about the turian stuff and sniper rifles, and I'd talk to you about human stuff and boys. I'm not sure if this comes under 'turian stuff' or 'boys'." Sarah said, honestly, and her mother let her sub-harmonics trill with motherly comfort.

"What's he like?" She asked and Sarah gave a sad smile at the memories that were only a few hours old.

"He's tall, dark and very handsome. And quiet. And he keeps to himself a little too much, to the point at which really knowing him is almost impossible. And he's sensible and thinks before he acts and yet, somehow manages to not be boring. And he's smart and... he just seems to get things that other people don't see. He's just... He's _Red_, you know? And, I guess it shouldn't have surprised me so much when I fell for him..." She admitted and her mother laughed softly.

"Yeah, that sounds about right. He marked you before you left?" She asked.

"Yep. Is this too weird? I mean, it feels weird that I haven't even talked to you about him before."

She asked and her mother smirked.

"Not at all. Grandma Hannah didn't know your dad and I were seeing each other until after he had marked me, so I have no room to talk. That's the way it works with turians. You meet your bondmate, you realize they're your bondmate, you mark them. Much less mess than the human way. I know that it drove your father crazy to wait so long to mark me." She said and Sarah smiled.

"I can imagine." She said before her smile faded and she started to frown again. "Is it supposed to feel like this?"

"Feel like what?" Her mother asked and Sarah sighed.

"Like my heart is somewhere else. Like it was ripped from my chest and I should probably go back for it if I want to keep going…" She said and her mum gave her a weak smile.

"I don't know about 'supposed to' but, yeah. That's exactly how it feels." She said and Sarah frowned.

"How did you cope? When you were locked away?" She asked.

"Badly. I don't think there is a way to 'cope'. I want to tell you that it gets better over time, but it doesn't. You just have to distract yourself." She told her, wishing that she had better advice to give.

"So, where am I going? Somewhere sunny I hope." Sarah tried to joke, to lessen the pain of reality. Wherever she would be, it wouldn't be with _him_.

"Wherever you want, Sar. Liara can set you up with whatever background and qualifications you need." She said and Sarah gave her a sheepish grin.

"That feels like cheating." She said and her mother snorted at that.

"Sarah, you may not have had anything resembling a formal education but it was a damn good one. Plus, you inherited your intellect from me." She said and Sarah smiled.

"Just not your battle skills." She countered and her mother nodded.

"Sarah, putting a gun in your hands is a waste of your brain. You gotta go with what you're good at. For your me and your dad, it's killing mercs. But that doesn't mean that it's the same for you." She said and Sarah nodded.

"I want to help fight Cerberus. Not with you guys but I think I can help with the hybrid… problem." She said and her mother regarded her closely before speaking again.

"Okay." She said simply and Sarah offered up a weak smile before moving onto her next question.

"How long do you think I'll have to disappear for?" She asked and her mother sighed.

"I honestly don't know, Sarah. We can't risk them realizing that you're alive." She said and

Sarah frowned, keeping her eyes on the stars.

"If they figure it out, they'll try to get to me through him, won't they?" She asked and her mother nodded.

"Yeah. It's a safe bet. I know that you didn't want to make such a drastic change when you went to C-Sec but the hair might not cut it..."

"You mean the eye thing?" She asked and her mother nodded.

"Yeah, it would make them look human." She said and Sarah nodded.

"Yeah. I'll see the doc about it in the morning..." She said reluctantly before they both lapsed into silence for a few moments.

"I like your hair." Her mum commented. "Red's a good colour on you."

"Thanks. I like it too."

**Two and a Half Years Ago - Edinburgh City Centre **

She pushed herself to stand in the crowd. To try and desensitize herself to the panic. It was a good distraction. Not much made her feel anything but the loss of Red anymore. The panic that gripped her when standing in a crowd was one of the only respites she could get.

After five minutes she had to leave the crowded street, unable to stand it any longer. She headed into a small cafe that she hadn't yet visited, which wasn't that surprising. She pushed herself to concentrate on her studies, trying to find anything that would distract her from the hole in her heart. It left little time for trips into town. Such ventures did nothing but leave her with time alone with her thoughts. Which was the last thing she needed.

She ordered a hot chocolate instead of a coffee; she had enough trouble sleeping without overloading herself with caffeine. She made an effort to smile at the barista and was mindful to thank him. She couldn't let herself fall back into Angel mode. But he kept frowning at her.

"Do I know you from somewhere?" He asked and a little fear gripped her heart. Could he have recognized her from the news reports about her death? But then their eyes locked and she knew exactly who he was.

_Harry. _

She hadn't meant to see him. She couldn't. Not when she was so drained by the loss of Tiberius. She simply didn't have it in her to face whatever he might say.

"No, I'm sorry. You must have me confused with someone else." She said and gave him a quick smile, not noticing how the brief hope in his eyes died. She hadn't considered that he had heard the news and also thought her dead.

She headed away as fast as she could, her sub-harmonics trilling with regret and loss, when she bumped head-first into a female turian entering the cafe, causing her to drop the stack of textbooks she had been carrying.

"I'm so sorry." The turian said to her and Sarah noted that she was relatively short and had lilac colony markings. She frowned at the turian as she realized that the words hadn't come through a translator but were surprisingly well spoken in Human Common for someone with no lips.

"No, it was my fault." Sarah replied in Turian Common and the turian frowned at her.

"You speak TC surprisingly well." She commented and Sarah shrugged, suddenly realizing that

knowing TC may not fit in so well with her cover.

"About as well as you speak HC." Sarah observed and the turian nodded.

"Yeah, well, I'm a xenolinguistics student at the university." She said and Sarah nodded.

"I'm a genetics student myself." She offered, smiling. She hadn't so much as seen a turian in almost a year and she had to admit that it was nice.

"Wanna sit and talk? I could really use the HC practice from someone who can hear my sub-harmonics. I'm assuming you've had the hearing implants since you seem to have the vocal ones." She observed and Sarah nodded.

"Yeah, no problem. I'm Azula." She said, a little regretful at having to offer her cover name, taking a little solace from its meaning.

"Wait, doesn't that mean... Isn't it the name of a colour in one of the common Earth languages?" She asked and Sarah nodded.

"Azul means blue in Spanish." She clarified and the turian frowned a little.

"Your parents named you 'blue'?" She asked and Sarah gave a weak smile, shaking her head.

"It's a long story." She said and the turian nodded, seemingly accepting her non-answer.

"Just call me Cee. Everyone here does." The turian told her as she bought her own coffee, Sarah doing her best to avoid Harry's gaze before they headed off to sit down upstairs.

"So, Cee, what made you study here?" She asked and the turian gave a shrug.

"It's easier to learn xenolinguistics when you're forced to speak at least one of the other languages constantly. Although I'm struggling with the inflections. I'm used to my sub-harmonics doing all of the work." She said and Sarah nodded.

"Yeah, I hear that's a bitch." She said and Cee's sub-harmonics trilled with question.

"I don't mean to pry, but I'm just wondering why you have the implants to begin with." She asked a little uncertainly, and Sarah's sub-harmonics trilled with regret before she could clamp down on them and Cee's eyes quickly darted to her neck, finding her bondmark.

"Oh. You have a turian bondmate?" She asked and Sarah sighed, shaking her head.

"I'm sorry; I don't like to talk about it." She said and Cee nodded, sub-harmonics trilling with apology.

"I'm sorry, Azula. I didn't mean to... I'm not so great at personal boundaries." She said and Sarah gave her an understanding smile.

"It's fine, really." She said and Cee nodded, her sub-harmonics trilling in thanks.

"So, there's a party being held this weekend by some of the med students. Some guy named Damien and his... girlfriend, I think the term is. Do you want to come with? I still don't know too many people." She said and Sarah gave her a sad smile.

"I'm really sorry, Cee, but I don't do parties." She said, letting her sub-harmonics tell the turian that she didn't mean it personally, and Cee nodded in understanding.

"That's alright. So, inflections?"

**Two Years Ago - University Library **

"So, you're the one who's been taking out all of the books on turian physiology." A heavily accented voice came from behind her and Azula - she hadn't been Sarah for over a year now - turned around to see a tall, slim, blonde woman in her early forties.

"Yeah, I'm a genetics student. Background reading." She explained and the woman nodded.

"You know that you can download the digital versions, right?" She asked and Azula shrugged.

"I don't like using them. I prefer the real thing." She said and the woman nodded.

"Understandable. So do I. Why do you need all of these books, though? Some of these are very random." She observed and Azula shrugged once more as she sat down at a table and began sorting the books.

"I read this paper on turian bonding across species by Dr Kirmasova and it got me thinking because, from an evolutionary point of view, it doesn't make any sense. Two different species can't interbreed to produce fertile offspring. With the exception of asari, of course. Except, turians and humans can have children which is really weird, given the vast difference in their evolutionary backgrounds. Then I remembered that the Protheans gave the asari biotics by manipulating their genome and so then I thought…" The woman in front of her frowned and Azula realized that she had just rambled on about her idea to a complete stranger. In her defense, she had no one else to tell. Her only friends were Cee and, by extension, Damien. Cee didn't know the first thing about biology and Damien's field of knowledge didn't much extend beyond the OR.

"You're talking about hybrids?" The woman asked lowly and Azula shook her head.

"Of course not. This is just scientific curiosity. Nothing more." She said quickly and the woman nodded.

"I think I've heard about you. You're the girl who transferred from the colonies and aces every test. Your professors think that you're either a genius or obsessive." She observed and Azula nodded in response.

"Probably a bit of both, to be honest. Although I had thought that 'girl with the huge scar' was the name I was currently going by." She said, sighing. The woman was instantly struck by how much older this girl looked than her actual age. She looked more than a little tired and as if she was starting to get sick from stress.

"So, you somehow find the time for extra research on top of your course studies?" She asked, ignoring the snarky comment, and the girl gave a dismissive wave.

"Please, I finished learning the course syllabus years ago." She said, a little impatience and frustration entering her tone before she sighed, realizing that the woman wouldn't leave. "I'm Azula Mizuiro. And you are?" She asked.

"Just call me Nataliya. That kind of research is restricted for a reason, Azula." She said and the young woman nodded.

"I know. It's just... if it were possible for turians and humans to have perfectly normal children, without all of the health defects that the Shepard-Vakarian kid or the Cerberus hybrids had, then..." She trailed off and Nataliya frowned at her a little.

"This sounds a little personal." She ventured and Azula snapped her eyes up quickly to meet hers, the deep shade of green no longer looking so dead, and she narrowed them before answering.

"My best friend (my only friend, really) has a human bondmate and they're really happy together but Cee has always wanted to have kids and I know that it really bugs her that they can't have any." She said and Nataliya nodded.

"You think that it's possible?" She asked and Azula nodded.

"I'd need to do some more research, this is just a side project, but I think so." She said and

Nataliya nodded.

"I must confess that I'm intrigued. I know that Cerberus has made the subject of hybrids somewhat of a taboo, but I think that if some positive work was done in that department, that might change."

"That's exactly what I was thinking..."

**One and a Half Years Ago - A Small, Quiet Bar **

"How did I let you talk me into this?" Azula groaned as she sat down next to Nataliya, who passed her a beer.

"Because it was this or the hospital." She replied, taking a drink from her own bottle and pulling a face. "Urgh, that's terrible. But it'll have to do."

"Nat, really, I have work to do." She protested, starting to fidget where she sat.

"No, you don't, Zu. You're sick with stress and have been since I first met you. You need to get out and have fun. Relax." She said and Azula sighed, not touching her drink. It would do nothing but dull her ability to distract from the ache of her heart and not touch the pain at all.

"Please, Nat, I'll be fine. I just have to keep busy." She said and the older woman shook her head before looking Azula dead in the eye, seeing both the strong, confident young woman and the scared little girl who wanted to go home.

"Where's home for you?" Nataliya suddenly asked and Azula shrugged.

"Wherever I sleep." She said and Nat shook her head.

"'Home is where the heart is', so where is that?" She asked, noticing how Azula's hand went to the necklace of a red half heart around her neck.

"Doesn't matter. I can't go back." She said and Nataliya gave her a sympathetic look.

"Who did you lose, Zu? I know that look. Someone close to you died. Who was it?" She asked and was caught off guard by the harsh, bitter laugh that escaped from the girl as her hand moved to the scar over her face.

"Me." She replied simply, her gaze moving to the singer on the stage, ignoring the woman in front of her. Sarah had died and everyone knew it, although she hoped that Red didn't believe it. She knew that her aunt Liara would tell her if anything happened to him but she couldn't help but worry and miss him. This was why she'd never wanted a bondmate. Why she'd always been so opposed to the idea. But the thought that she might one day get to see him again... It had once filled her with hope, but now? Would he even recognize her? She couldn't stop the thoughts, which she normally worked so hard to ignore, from overwhelming her and escaping as tears as she let the dull buzz of the bar and the music from the singer on stage wash over her, part of her hoping to drown in the noise because she was just so sick of fighting. Of struggling to just stay put. To keep going on, knowing that he was out there somewhere. Waiting for her.

"_He said, 'Will you come travel the world with me?',_

_She said,_ _'With you babe, I'll do anything',_

_I'll do anything,_

_Married by December and the kids are on the way,_

_She's got twins in her belly and they know it's not the same._

_Because time goes by and love grows,_

_Because time goes by and don't we know._

_I heard this song and I hope that we're the same,_

_I heard this song and I hope you feel the same,_

_Because hope,_

_Hope lasts a long time,_

_And you,_

_You feel my real life,_

_And love,_

_Love lasts a long time,_

_And you,_

_You see my real mind..._"

**One Year Ago - Azula's Office **

"So, you finally get an office and your first move is to set up a cot?" Nat asked as Azula concentrated on the terminal screen in front of her.

"Yep. It's not as if I sleep anyway." She said, before noticing the worried look Nataliya was giving her. "Look, I want to take these Cerberus bastards down. It's... Let's just say they're to blame for this." She explained, indicating to her scar.

"Zu, I had no idea..." Nat said and the redhead nodded in response.

"I just... I have to stop them. I'm not going to waste this opportunity." She said and Nat sighed as she leant on Azula's desk.

"Then stop pushing everyone away. Zu, we're part of a team here and as much as I find your snarky attitude endearing, the others don't like you very much for it." She said and Azula sighed. She refused to shut herself down as she had when she became Angel but that meant that the pain, and her tired attitude towards it, was showing.

"Nat, we're all working on different projects. You and I are the only ones working on the hybrid problem. I don't see why I have to try and play nice." She reasoned and the older woman sighed again.

"Because alienating everyone isn't the best way to make friends." She countered and Azula rolled her eyes.

"I don't want to make friends... _Bosh'tet_!" She yelled, hitting the terminal and Nat raised her eyebrow.

"Isn't that a quarian swear?" She asked and Azula shrugged.

"I feel like tech responds better when I communicate in its native tongue. Not that tech likes me, anyway." She said, sighing.

"What are you trying to do?" She asked and Azula shook her head.

"There's something wrong here. The communication protocols... I think they've been hacked.

But I'm terrible with this shit." She said and Nat frowned at her.

"You know that this is why we have a security team, right?" She asked and Azula gave her a blank look.

"We have a security team?" She asked and Nat sighed.

"Zu, we're in an Alliance lab, of course there's a security team. Plus they've got some extra help on loan from the Council. Follow me." She said and Azula did just that as she lead her through to quite a large office where she was faced with several krogan along with the usual Alliance soldiers, who were all eying the krogan suspiciously and keeping their distance.

"Hey, can anyone help my friend here? She thinks that she's spotted an irregularity in the comm protocols." Nat asked and the leader of the krogan made his way over to them, causing Azula to crack a wide grin, showing off her unusually pointed teeth in a way that she usually avoided.

"Your friend have a name?" The krogan asked.

"Azula." She replied and he gave a laugh.

"Really? I think I'll call you Pixie. You look like a pixie." He said and she raised her eyebrows at him.

"Oh yeah? Tell me, do you want a small human woman to break your nose in front of all of your friends?" She asked and he laughed again.

"You've got a quad human. I'm Mordin." He said after they had finished pretending to introduce themselves to each other. Repeating the same dance she had performed when she visited Hilary in Vancouver before she had graduated.

"Okay Mordin, this is kind of a tech problem. I wouldn't want to overtax your brain." She teased and he laughed again.

"Alright then, give it to the humans." He said and Nat couldn't help but smirk.

"So, this is the problem?" She asked Azula who gave her a questioning look. "You're secretly a krogan."

"Brilliantly deduced, Sherlock." She said as she handed her data over to the human soldier who approached her, wishing that it was Tia instead. She missed her old friends. She missed _him_. But if she could help to put an end to Cerberus... She could never go back. She knew that. But maybe forward wouldn't have to be so lonely. Assuming, of course, that he would want to leave everything behind to be with her. Which she could never be sure of and would, really, never ask of him...

"You were right... This looks like... Cerberus. Someone has been hacking our systems to send intel to Cerberus. Good catch." The Sargent told her, as Azula simply nodded. There was no way that she was going to say that she only recognized the irregularity from when she and Red had been chasing down the restricted medical tech. The tech Cerberus had been using to create the hybrids. She still hated that it had taken her so long to figure it out.

"Can you figure out who it was?" She asked and the Sargent nodded.

"They were clever about covering their tracks but not clever enough... Dr Gale." She concluded and Azula gave her a significant look.

"You're sure?" She asked.

"Positive. He used his omni-tool and he's the only one on campus running that particular model." She explained.

"You keep track of that stuff?" Nataliya asked, concerned.

"Of course." The Sargent replied and Azula turned to face Mordin, her body aglow with biotics.

"Well, let's go and ask him about it. You with me, Mordin?" She asked and he laughed, nodding.

"Of course, Pix." He said, as they headed down to the labs where the other scientists were currently congregated. Azula quickly incapacitated Dr Gale with her biotics and one of the others ran up to her.

"What is the meaning of this?!" He asked and Nataliya offered up the datapad.

"We have reason to believe that he has been sending details of our work to Cerberus." Nat explained and they all frowned at her.

"But he can't be..." One started to object and Azula simply shrugged, still keeping Dr Gale incapacitated with a stasis field.

"We could ask him." She said, moving towards him.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Dr Gale shouted. "Get her away from me! She's crazy!"

"Don't even try that. We have the evidence, Gale. Zu is just being nice." Nat explained and he narrowed his eyes at her.

"Why?" Azula asked and he practically spat at her.

"Asks the hybrid sympathizer! They are good for nothing more than slaves and you would have us accept them into society! Help them!" He screamed and she nodded.

"Of course I would. And I think that makes me more human than you." She told him, no anger present in her tone. She no longer had any use for it. She wasn't built for anger or violence, and never had been. "I'll keep him here until the cops show." Azula told them.

"What? Don't have the guts to kill me?!" Dr Gale asked and he was answered by a shot from Mordin's shotgun, causing Azula to spin around and face him, biotics still flaring.

"What was that for?" She asked and he shrugged, holstering his weapon again.

"Pix, he was a threat. He had to be dealt with." He reasoned and she glared at him.

"We don't shoot unarmed prisoners. Are we clear?" She hissed at him and he simply laughed as he followed her out of the room and away from prying ears.

"Ha! You are _so_ your mother's daughter." He said and she sighed, shaking her head.

"How is she? And everyone else for that matter. I only get the updates Auntie Liara sends and she can't go into too much detail in case the messages are intercepted." She said and Mordin gave her a sympathetic look.

"They're okay, Pix. And they're doing everything they can to stop Cerberus but... it's like fighting smoke. The galaxy's a big place and they have plenty of places to hide. It doesn't help that they're keeping their attacks to a minimum." He said and Azula sighed.

"So, they're not really a threat to anyone but me right now." She summarized, and he nodded.

"Yeah."

"And what about..." She trailed off but the krogan took her meaning.

"He's managing about as well as you, from what I could gather the last time I was on the Citadel. He practically attacked me, demanding to know if you were okay. I think the lack of contact has been getting to him." He reasoned and Azula had to stop the tears from forming in her eyes.

"Yeah. It's not been easy. What did you tell him?" She asked and he laughed.

"I asked him if he honestly thought a little blast like that could take out a Shepard. And then I told him that if he wanted any more details, he should just look in the mirror to get a fair idea." He said and Azula sighed, letting a few tears slip down her face.

"I'm glad you're here Mordin but..."

"You wish that they could have sent him?" He finished for her and she nodded. "I've been helping out the Council. Proving the krogan are ready for a bigger role in galactic politics and all that. It would have looked suspicious to not send me."

"How long are you sticking around?" She asked.

"Just six months and then I get rotated out." He explained and she nodded. Six months with a constant reminder of the life she had left behind. It would either strengthen her resolve or break her completely.

**2 Days Ago - The Local Highstreet **

"Nat, I don't need new clothes." Azula said, folding her arms.

"You need something. We're celebrating! It's not every day you make a breakthrough like this one. Plus, this is my effort to cheer you up. Cee's been getting worried about you." Nataliya told her and Azula rolled her eyes.

"Cee's always worried about me. Wait, is this why Damien's been trying to scan me when he thinks I'm not looking?" She asked and Nat sighed.

"Yes. Apparently something has been blocking his scans." She said and fixed Azula with an accusatory glare.

"What? I don't like doctors, I don't like hospitals and I _really_ don't like scans." She said and Nat sighed once again.

"Zu, you're sick. Anyone with half a brain can see that." She started but Azula shook her head.

"I know, Nat. But it's not something that can be fixed by doctors. I'm not even sure that it can be fixed any more. Maybe I'll live out the rest of my life as a ghost. However long that is." She said and Nataliya was taken aback. This wasn't the longest Azula had spoken for, but it was the most she had ever said.

"We worry about you, Zu." She said and Azula laughed a little at that. It seemed like everyone spent their time worrying about her. Which had always been the case. Red had understood. Red always seemed to understand, even when he didn't even know the full picture. He knew her and she missed that. She missed _him_. But she couldn't dwell. Dwelling lead to other people worrying. Which, apparently, led right back to dwelling.

A fucking circle of pity.

"Well, don't. I'm dealing. I've always dealt and I will keep dealing." She said before sighing in frustration at the build-up of the crowds. "Can we take a shortcut?" She asked and Nat nodded as they began to head through the little back alleys.

"We only worry because we care." Nat told her and Azula sighed, nodding.

"I know you do. And I appreciate it. But please don't. I can take care of mys- LOOK OUT!" She yelled, biotics flaring. She pushed Nataliya out of the way of the two agents shooting at them. She figured that it was probably Cerberus. But they seemed to want her dead, not captured.

So, they were chasing Azula and not Sarah.

She just couldn't stay safe, could she? She thought to herself as she threw a couple of warps at the agents, hoping to take down their shields, as they headed back to the safety of the campus.

The agents got to her first and she cursed as she attempted to use her biotics to disarm them. She was suddenly, painfully aware of how out of practice she was. She had kept up a punishing exercise routine. She had to, to keep the symptoms of bondmate separation at bay, but it wasn't enough. She hadn't practiced her hand-to-hand in three years and she had kept the use of her biotics to a minimum.

By some miracle, she managed to disarm them and hold them back long enough for them to escape back into the lab.

"You're bleeding." Nat observed and Azula quickly thanked her foresight as she was wearing black clothing. Nat could see nothing more than a dark patch on Azula's jumper.

"So are you." She countered, looking at the scratch on Nat's head.

"Not badly. Did you get hit?" She asked and Azula shook her head.

"No, I'm okay. Really. Just a scratch." She lied. She healed fast and the bullet had only scraped her. The wound was deep but would be gone in a week. Medigel could handle it for now.

"Azula, I know that you hate them, but I think it's time for more security." Nat said and Azula shook her head.

"No. Ever since the krogan left, it's just been one group of idiots after the next. They do nothing but hang around and distract me while I'm trying to work." She said and Nat sighed, nodding.

"Okay, then."

* * *

"And that brings us up to date. Kind of. I didn't want to bore you." She said and he nodded.

"So, Rookie, I guess if Cerberus is after you, you're good at your job." He said and she smirked.

"Very good. It's been three years and I've had nothing better to do than work. I work, breathe, eat, sleep and then do it all again. Hoping that one day it gets easier. And it never does." She told him and he nodded.

"Smiley told me as much. He still loves you, you know." He told her but the pain was just too much. Like being exposed to sunlight for the first time in years, his words seemed to scorch her skin and she flinched away. She just wasn't ready.

"So, what about you? What have you been up to these past three years?"


	15. Chapter Fifteen - From Another Point of

**AN: Another chapter! Yay! One more to come later. ^^**

**Thanks to everyone who has favourited, followed and double thanks to everyone who has reviewed.**

**Special thanks goes to my beta Spyke1985! You're the best!**

**Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen – From Another Point of View**

"So, what about you? What have you been up to these past three years?" She asked and he sighed.

"Are you sure you want to hear this from me?" He asked and she nodded.

"Yeah. I'm sure." She said softly and he nodded.

"I must warn you, it's not been all sunshine and rainbows." He told her and she gave him a weak

smile.

"I know."

"Okay then…"

* * *

**Three Years Ago – The Citadel**

"How many more of these are there?" Tia asked in the brief break in the movie marathon.

"A lot." Philip admitted and she shook her head. "What? You said that you wanted to see a film."

"Yes, Philip, _a_ film. Not… I don't even know how many this is. But it's a lot." She said but she was smiling.

"You have to admit that they're good, though." He pointed out and her smile widened.

"Yeah. And thanks." She said. He knew all too well what she was thanking him for. She was worried about Sarah and he had been trying to take her mind off of it.

"No problem." He told her, holding her hand over the armrest of the chair.

Of course, right at that moment her omni-tool flashed at her and they both simultaneously rolled their eyes.

"Who is it?" He asked and she sighed.

"Who else?" She replied, causing him to groan.

"Another bar?" He asked and she nodded.

"Yep. I can handle this myself if you want to stay." She told him but he shook his head.

"Nah, I've seen them all a thousand times anyway. I just hope that he realizes that he tore you away just before the really good ones." He said and Tia rolled her eyes.

"Philip, once I've seen one film about one cool, British spy, haven't I seen them all?" She asked and he laughed a little as they headed out of the cinema and towards the shadier parts of the ward.

"Not at all. So, where is he?" He asked and she sighed again.

"Around the corner." She said and, sure enough, when they rounded the corner they found a very drunk turian lying on the floor. "Great. Just great."

"Do you think we should lock him in his apartment until he sobers up? This is getting ridiculous." Philip asked and Tia shook her head.

"Don't tempt me. What's ridiculous is that he hasn't realized that alcohol doesn't work yet. If it did, you'd see a lot more drunk turians." She pointed out and Philip frowned.

"But alcohol cures everything." He countered and she rolled her eyes again as they moved to pick him up.

"Come on, Smiley." She said and he groaned, getting up with a little help from the other two.

"Blue?" He asked groggily and Tia sighed.

"No, Smiley. Sarah's gone, remember? It's me. Tia." She told him as they moved him to a transport and keyed in his apartment.

"Yeah, and her annoying boyfriend. Philip. Who you can't stand." Philip added jokingly and Tia grinned sheepishly at him. "What?" He asked.

"Boyfriend?" She asked and he blushed a little.

"Yeah, I mean, we have been going out for a few weeks so…" He started and she silenced him with a kiss.

"I like the sound of that." She said as she pulled away and he frowned.

"Me being your boyfriend or me shutting up?" He asked and she grinned at him.

"Both." She clarified and Tiberius gave a groan.

"Now I remember why I got drunk in the first place…" He muttered and Tia sighed before glaring at him.

"Yes, we get it. Your bondmate left. But it was either that or die for real. And when she comes back, I refuse to be blamed for the man she loves becoming a drunk in her absence." Tia told him and Philip tried his hardest not to smile at her.

"Yeah, thanks _mom_." Tiberius answered sarcastically and Tia just gave him a disappointed look.

"If I recall, this kind of destructive behaviour is exactly what killed your mother." She said harshly. Her words had obviously shocked Tiberius and Philip had to wonder what had prompted such a harsh attitude.

"That was uncalled for…" Tiberius muttered and Tia sighed.

"No, it wasn't. You're giving up. Don't. Keep fighting. She's coming back and you need to believe that." Tia told him and he shook his head.

"Tia, what if she doesn't?" He asked and Philip flinched. His voice sounded small and broken and so unlike the Tiberius he knew.

"Please, she's way too stubborn not to." She said confidently, almost dismissively. "Smiles, when you left she got through _all_ of Mordin's ryncol. If she hadn't had her impressive metabolism, she would most likely be dead. But the next day she told me that it hadn't helped so she didn't touch it again. Trust me when I say that she loves you as much as you love her." She said and he sighed, shaking his head.

"I just… It doesn't seem real. One minute we're best friends and dancing around our feelings and the next, I realize that, not only have I fallen for her hard, but that she feels the same way. And then she's ripped away from me in what is perhaps the cruelest way. If she was dead then it'd be easy…" He said and Tia pretended not to know what he meant.

"But she's _not_. She's still alive and probably as messed up as you are, right now. And she is going to come back to you." She told him and he gave a hollow laugh as they reached his apartment. Tia walked him to bed before she and Philip moved around his apartment and, thankfully, found it empty of booze.

"I'm locking him in." Tia said and Philip frowned a little.

"I was joking, you know." He said and she sighed, nodding.

"I know. But he needs to sober up and realize that the booze isn't helping. Maybe then he'll come back to work and help us to get Cerberus. He hasn't seemed to have twigged that getting them is the quickest way to get her back." She said and Philip folded his arms.

"You'd think he'd be after vengeance." He commented and Tia gently put her hand on his arm.

"I don't think he knows how to make the fight personal." She told him and he nodded.

"I'd be more than happy to give him some pointers…"

**Two and a Half Years Ago – C-Sec Training Rooms**

"Damn it!" Philip yelled as he ran into cover. "Remind me again why we're using live ammo?" He asked as Tiberius sniped down the three mechs chasing him.

"Because that's the kind of hardcore shit you have to deal with if you want specialist training." Tia told him over the radio as she hacked into the door.

"But why am I always the distraction?" He asked as he ran from cover to cover, keeping the attention away from his girlfriend.

"I'm sorry, when you can hack a door as well as I can, we'll switch places." Tia told him.

"Same goes for sniping." Tiberius offered and Philip groaned, ignoring the fact that his arm was bleeding. The wound wasn't bad and the medigel would take care of it. He knew that six months ago he would have been whining about it but now he couldn't afford to. For once, he felt a sense of responsibility. As much as Tia told him that the actions of his father weren't his fault, Philip couldn't help but feel that it was up to him to stop the man. He felt nothing but hatred for him after the way he had acted.

"Got it!" Tia cried and the mechs deactivated as the door opened and the test was over. Philip sighed with relief as he moved towards Tia and pulled her close.

"Philip, we're still at work." She told him, slightly warningly, but he ignored her, giving her a quick kiss before pulling away. She would have probably been mad if she hadn't been blushing a deep shade of blue.

"You two are sickening. You know that, right?" Tiberius told them and Tia rolled her eyes at him.

"Sorry, Smiley. We'll try to keep PDA to a minimum." She told him and Philip snorted.

"Says you." He countered and she sighed.

"Yeah, says me. And I have the final say." She told him and he frowned.

"Wait, why?" He asked and she smirked.

"You know why." She said and he narrowed his eyes at her.

"You wouldn't."

"Oh, I so would."

"And I'm going to pretend that I don't know what you two are talking about…" Tiberius groaned and Tia rolled her eyes.

"Uh-huh. Just like I pretend those aren't talon marks on the wall in the spare room of my apartment." She said and Philip frowned.

"How can you still afford that place without a roommate?" He asked and Tia shrugged.

"When I got sent the last rent money from Sarah, it was more than enough for several months. It was sent just before she left." She told him.

"But you'll run out soon?" Philip asked and she nodded.

"Well, yeah. Which is why the talon marks are a problem." She said and Philip tried to look nonchalant as he said the next thing.

"If your roommate didn't sleep in the spare room, you wouldn't have that problem." He told her and she folded her arms, grinning at him.

"Look at you trying to be subtle. If you want to move in, just ask." She said and he shook his head, grinning.

"Fine. I'm asking. I practically live there anyway." He said and she grinned.

"That you do. I propose we go out to celebrate." She said and Philip grinned.

"This is why I love you." He told her and she blushed once more before turning to Tiberius.

"You in, Smiles?" She asked and he shook his head.

"No. I've got another shift." He said and Philip frowned at him.

"Back to back shifts, again? Smiley, when do you sleep?" He asked and Tiberius shrugged.

"I… I'm having trouble sleeping." He admitted and Tia nodded understandingly.

"Bad dreams?" She asked and he frowned at her. "Sarah used to get them when you left. It didn't help that she talks in her sleep. Used to keep me up half the night."

"Well, I'm just trying to tire myself out to avoid them." He said and Tia nodded.

"Alright then. But next time you save someone when you're out patrolling, be nicer about it. People have taken to calling you The Demon." She told him and Philip frowned.

"How come I don't get a cool nickname?" He asked and Tia shook her head, smiling.

"Come on, you."

**Two Years Ago - The Citadel**

"Do you want me to lock you in your apartment until you sober up?" Tiberius asked as he sat down next to Philip.

"She's gone." He said simply and Tiberius sighed.

"I didn't think she'd actually go." He said and Philip barked out a laugh, shaking his head.

"Of course she did. It's my fault." He said and Tiberius frowned at him.

"How so?" He asked and Philip responded by draining the end of his drink.

"When she got the chance to go, to work with the Spectres as a tech expert, I wasn't... happy for her. I got upset that she would even consider leaving for so long. As if I didn't matter." Tiberius gave him a look and Philip suspected that his sub-harmonics were giving voice to sympathy.

"I'm guessing that pissed her off?" He asked and Philip nodded.

"Yeah, no shit. I just... The stupid thing is that I don't think she was ever really thinking about going." He said and Tiberius raised a brow plate.

"You think she left just to spite you?" He asked and Philip shook his head.

"No. I think that she wanted to go, but had never really thought of it as an option. And then I start acting as if I honestly think she's going to go and she started to wonder if we were as close as she thought. Which is ridiculous. I was just... I didn't want to lose her, you know? And now I have anyway. But, I just... After all the shit she has about being left by people, she's the one to leave me." He said and Tiberius shakes his head at the obvious.

"She left you before you could leave her." He said and Philip shook his head.

"I was never going to leave her." He said and Tiberius sighed.

"She's an asari and not a particularly old one at that. Everyone leaves." He told him and Philip frowned.

"I was never going to leave her." He repeated before pulling a small box out of his pocket.

"I feel like that's significant but I don't know the first thing about human mating." Tiberius said and Philip sighed.

"It's a ring." He explained but Tiberius kept giving him a confused look. "Like bondmarks except not as... primitive."

"Okay, no need to insult me. So, she didn't know, you pissed her off and she left."

"Yep."

"Sucks, doesn't it?"

"Yep."

**One and a Half Years Ago - Huerta Memorial Hospital**

"Hey Tia. It's me. Philip. Look, I'm not calling for me. I must assume that that's what you think since you haven't responded to the other dozen messages I've sent. Look, this isn't some kind of effort to win you back. Trust me, if it was, it would be a hell of a lot more impressive than a few messages. Look, Smiley's in the hospital. It's not bad but it shouldn't have happened. He's getting reckless, Tia. And it's got me worried. I'm no good with this shit but you are so I need you back here..."

"You can stop recording. I'm here." A voice came from behind him and he turned to face her, forcibly stopping his heart from leaping to his throat as he caught sight of her. She was wearing a dark combat suit and he could swear that she looked leaner, as if she had been regularly putting her combat skills to use. Skills she hated using.

"Tia. You could have called." He said and she shrugged.

"You said it was urgent so I was on the first transport here." She told him and he nodded, not wanting to address the elcor in the room.

"He's down the hall getting checked out. He... He's doubting the fact that she's still alive. It's been a few months since she last left one of her little notes. Everyone is refusing to acknowledge that she's still alive and it's driving him crazy. Nothing I say is having any effect." He told her and she sighed, shaking her head.

"Is he...?"

"No. But he's getting reckless. It's like he's forgotten how to duck." He said and she sighed again, shaking her head. He could tell what she was thinking as clearly as if she had said it aloud. "Don't do that, Tia. Don't blame yourself." He told her and she smiled weakly at him.

"I forgot how well you know me." She said softly before frowning. "Anyway, I'd better go and talk to him before he leaves and picks a fight with a krogan or something."

"Yeah." He replied simply and she nodded, the tension between them clearly making her uneasy.

She left for a few moments before returning, frowning a little.

"He's already gone." She told him and he shrugged.

"He'll have gone back to the office. He never goes home. What trouble can he get into?" He asked and Tia sighed, shaking her head.

"Well, now you've said that, he really will get into trouble. Come on, I'll hack his omni-tool. I should be able to get a location."

"Just like old times?" He asked and she gave him a quick smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Don't push it." She told him and he suspected that she had meant it jokingly. He followed her out of the room as she started the trace.

"So... How've you been?" He asked and she rolled her eyes.

"You never could just be silent, could you?" She asked and he shrugged.

"As I recall, you figured out a way to shut me up." He said cockily and she stopped where she stood, turning to face him.

"You don't sound mad." She said, almost accusingly.

"Why would I be mad?" He asked and she frowned.

"I walked out on you. I pulled a Sarah and I ran away." She said and he shrugged.

"Tia, you deserve better than me. I've always known that. I'm just some kid who ran away from home and managed to scrape together a mediocre existence. Everything good I've ever had came from you. And I screwed that up. So, no. I'm not mad. And, I know I should have said this at the time, but I'm happy for you and proud of you for landing that job." He said, repeating the speech that he had rehearsed a hundred times in his head. His closure speech.

"I... No. I don't _deserve_ anything." She said quietly before her omni-tool beeped. "I've got a location." She told him and he nodded.

"Lead the way." He said and she nodded before leading him towards C-Sec, although not via the quickest route to the building. "Where is he?"

"He should be just down here..." She trailed off as she saw Tiberius facing off with a rather large krogan.

"Hey! Back down!" Philip shouted as he stood between the two of them. "I said, _back down_."

To his relief they both gave a growling noise before standing down.

"When did you grow a quad, human?" The krogan asked and Tia folded her arms.

"Mordin, when did you get here?" She asked.

"Yesterday. I'm still running errands for the Council." He replied and Tiberius growled.

"I need answers and he's the only person I've come across capable of giving them to me." He said and Mordin shook his head.

"Pix sure does know how to pick 'em." He muttered and Tiberius seemed to calm down. His shoulders slumped a little as he prepared to ask his question.

"Is she... Did she really die in that explosion? Have I just been living on blind hope?" He asked and the krogan sighed.

"I can see why you'd be having doubts about her death. That was kind of a small explosion and Sarah was a tough one... I can't answer your question but I will tell you one thing; blind hope isn't so bad. It's a lot more than a lot of people have. Even if she were still alive, we wouldn't be able to talk to her. At least, not in any great depth. But, if she were alive, and I had to guess, I'd say she'd probably be doing about as well as you are right now." The krogan said, pointedly, and Tiberius nodded. "So, don't worry about it. You'll see her again, whether it's in this life or the next." He said, quickly losing his serious tone. "Now, if you'll excuse me, the Council needs to see me."

At that he took off, leaving the three friends more than a little confused.

"So, that was helpful." Philip said, sarcastically, but Tia kept frowning.

"Actually, it was..." She muttered before turning to Tiberius. "Read between the lines, Smiles. She's alive and well but you're going to have to hold off on seeing her just a little while longer. It's still too dangerous." She said and he took a deep breath before nodding.

"Yeah. Thanks, Tia. I think I'm just gonna head home. The doc said I needed some rest." He said and she nodded, letting him leave.

"Okay, he never goes home and he _never_ listens to doctors." Philip said and Tia shrugged.

"He's been running on a very exhaustible supply of hope for a very long time now. I just hope that Sarah's doing better than he is." She said and Philip nodded.

"Wanna get a drink? As friends, I mean." He said and she shook her head.

"No. I'm sorry." She said and he frowned.

"Tia, you were my best friend for three years. My only friend. I don't wanna think that I screwed that up." He told her and she shook her head again.

"No, Philip, you haven't screwed anything up. I have. I can't go back to being your friend because I never stopped being in love with you which, I know, is something that I really have no right to say any more..." She said and he sighed.

"Then let's not go as friends." He said and she frowned.

"Philip, I don't... Don't do this just because you don't want to lose me as a friend." She told him and he shook his head.

"Tia, I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. And neither should you. We both made mistakes. But that doesn't mean that I ever stopped caring about you." He said and she frowned.

"When did you become so... sensible?" She asked and he shrugged.

"Don't get used to it. I've had six months to analyze everything that went wrong with us. The conclusion that I came to is that we're both idiots. But, hey, I figure being idiots together is better than being idiots alone. And in my entire life, I've never had anyone that I've been close to, like I've had you. I don't want to lose that. I don't want to lose you." He admitted and she stood sheepishly, her body language telling him that she was desperate to kiss him but was holding herself back.

"I don't want to lose you either." She said and he nodded.

"So, how about that drink?"

* * *

"Suffice to say, I swept her off her feet (again), we started dating again, Smiles was relatively happy - or, you know, sane, at least - and I finally got around to giving her that ring. And then we got a call about Cerberus attacking you guys and here we are. Now, I still want to know what your _real_ reason is for not immediately running into Smiley's arms." He said and she sighed, shaking her head, knees clutched tighter to her chest.

"Your timing sucks." She said and he frowned.

"How so?" He asked and she sighed.

"Cerberus attacked because I made a breakthrough in my research. You'll hear about it tomorrow when we brief you guys but, for now, let's just say that in a few weeks I should have something we can use." She said and he frowned.

"Like what?" He asked and she suddenly froze a little, becoming very small and quiet and so unlike the woman he knew. This was the side of her he had seen fleetingly the day before everything had gone to hell. The side that he suspected the separation from Tiberius had only fed and made grow.

"What's the longest time we've managed to keep a captured Cerberus hybrid alive?" She asked quietly and he was caught off guard by the question that he knew she knew the answer to.

"About six months. I don't exactly know why, it's all very technical, but we simply can't keep them stable." He told her and she nodded.

"That's because they're not. Like you said, it's all very technical and, no offense, but I doubt you'd understand it. Basically, their bodies slowly poison themselves from the inside out." She told him, her voice still quiet.

"Rookie, what are you saying? _All_ hybrids? You can't possibly mean..." He trailed off and she sighed.

"I am not so poorly designed. Clearly, I am capable of lasting much longer than my lab-born brethren. But I'm not perfect. Comparable to first-gen technology, there are always bugs. Not like the Cerberus hybrids, they're more like cheap knock-offs. But I am _far_ from perfect, and my life span is doubly so." She said and he frowned.

"Rookie-" He started but she cut him off.

"I'm working on it. But there's no guarantee that this line of research will lead to a solution. I'll know in a few weeks but until then... I can't watch him watch me die, Philip. If this doesn't work... I'm like an open flame and the last thing I want is for him to get burnt." She said and he frowned.

"There you go getting all poetic. It's like the fucking dandelions all over again. Look, I get it. I mean, you're talking to the guy marrying an asari, _I get it_. But he's going to get hurt anyway. Just don't spend so much time worrying about it that you miss what time you have with him." He said and she sighed, nodding.

"I... I just need some time to think. To figure out what to do. We'll hold a briefing tomorrow morning. 0600. I need to tell everyone where Nat and I are now, anyway. Why we were attacked in the first place..."

"Okay then. I'll tell the others."

"Philip?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks. And I'm glad things worked out with you two. You're good together."

"Thanks."


	16. Chapter Sixteen - Old and New

**AN: Okay, this is the last of this little spurt of uploads. ^^**

**Thanks to everyone who has favourited, followed and double thanks to everyone who has reviewed.**

**Special thanks goes to my beta Spyke1985! You're the best!**

**Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Sixteen - Old and New**

"Let me guess; you didn't sleep last night?" Tia asked Tiberius as she sat down next to him, carefully noting his tired features.

"That obvious?" He asked, as he ignored his food and she shrugged.

"Only to your friends." She said and she considered, not for the first time, getting a better translator that would give her some clue as to the emotions he was expressing in the frequencies she couldn't hear. "So, talk to me."

"She ran away."

"She always runs away." Tia replied quickly and dismissively, causing him to sigh.

"Three years is a long time." He said.

"It's… Not a short amount of time, I'll give you that. But better late than never, right?" She asked and he gave her a pained look.

"Tia, what if she's moved on?" He asked and she sighed. This wasn't like Tiberius. He always kept his own council, rarely ever talking to anyone else if he could avoid it. Anyone but Sarah. He would only ever talk to Tia if she pushed, never voluntarily giving information.

"Smiles, if she was another turian, would you be asking this question?" She asked him and he shook his head.

"Well, no, but-"

"Then _don't_. She may be able to put on a little makeup and cover up her plates and pretend that she's human, but we both know that she's a little _too_ turian." Tia told him and he nodded.

"I know, it's just-"

"Give her time, Smiles. You two have all the time in the world to be awkward around each other now."

"Yeah. I guess we do…"

* * *

"Who is it?" Sarah (or was it Azula?) called from her office as Tia knocked on the locked door.

"Me." Tia replied and the door opened, revealing Sarah in the same clothes as she had been in yesterday, minus the lab coat, moving hurriedly about the room, turning over stacks of datapads as if looking for something. Tia moved into the room and the door locked behind her.

"Tia! Sorry about the mess. I hate having to organize my data." She said and Tia was immediately struck by the fact that her friend had placed a hair band behind her plates, pinning her fringe back away from them.

"You sure that's wise?" She asked, indicating to the visible plates, but her friend simply shrugged.

"I hate my fringe. I've always hated it. My hair naturally objects to being cut this way and it just gets in my way. It was annoying me and I figured that I might as well continue on with my trend of bad decisions…" She said as she continued to rummage through the mess that covered a small cot in the corner of the room that looked like it was rarely used, although Tia suspected that it was still her friend's choice of sleeping arrangements. She figured that her sleeping habits were probably as messed up as Tiberius'.

"You think how you acted yesterday was a mistake?" Tia asked.

"Yes. No. Maybe…" She said before sighing. "Every instinct I have is telling me to run to him right now but… _I_ left _him_. It wouldn't be fair to just expect to pick up right where we left off."

"Sarah, where was that exactly? You two didn't exactly have what you might call a 'standard courtship'. You ran away, then you stopped running and _he_ ran away, then he stopped running and by the time the both of you got around to realizing that being in love might not be the source of all the problems in the galaxy, as you seemed to think before, you were attacked and forced to fake your death. We both know that there wasn't another option and he knows it too." Tia said and her friend let her gaze fall to the floor.

"You probably shouldn't call me Sarah anymore. Sarah's been dead for three years, remember?" She said and Tia sighed, nodding.

"So, _Azula_?" She asked and Azula shrugged.

"What? I like it. Plus, there's something nice about getting to choose your own name." She reasoned and Tia smiled at her.

"You could have chosen any name and yet you chose the one he gave you. _That_ is how I know that you still love him." Tia told her as Azula sat on the edge of her desk, and the asari sat next to her.

"How did you do it? You left and came back." She said and Tia let her gaze fall to the ring on her finger.

"Sa- _Zu_, I never stopped blaming myself for that. It was a stupid argument and I let my abandonment issues get the better of me. I never should have left. But that was my fault and my mistake. You didn't choose to leave, you had to. He understands that. Don't let your misplaced guilt ruin what you two have. I don't think it'll be as difficult for you two as you seem to think it will be." She said and Azula nodded. "But, it's more than that isn't it?" She asked and Azula shifted a little, guiltily. "Wait, are you _still_ trying to fight this?" Tia asked, incredulously and Azula gave a little half shrug.

"I... Tia, is it so surprising? I'm not exactly a team player, never have been. I don't like having to rely on other people and the idea that I'm so dependent on the presence of one person..." She trailed off and Tia gave her a sympathetic smile.

"You don't want to get hurt again." She surmised and Azula nodded in response. "Sar- Zu, he was hurt as much as you. Trust me when I say that he's not leaving again."

"Philip told me what happened. But, Red never moved on?" She asked and Tia just gave her a pointed look.

"Did you?" She asked and Azula gave her a sad smile, confirming once and for all that this was the friend that Tia had known.

"Of course not."

* * *

Philip wasn't a fan of scientists. As a rule, they tended to make him feel a little defensive. Stuff that they thought 'simple' tended to be a little over his head. Hell, Tia's tech talk was probably the fastest way to get him to sleep. He had left high school at sixteen with a solid C in science and the research being done here was cutting-edge. It was so far over his head that he would probably need to get to it via mass relay.

So, during the briefing, he proceeded to zone out as each group of scientists talked about their progress, until it was Azula's turn to talk. He figured that he should probably try to pay attention to her research.

"Last week we received the last piece of data from the Mars archives and it allowed us to piece together the exact genome of the perfect hybrid. We were right, Prothean DNA was the key. We just didn't know which strands to look at." She said and the other scientists frowned at her as they grappled with the implications of what she was telling them.

"How exactly would this 'perfect' hybrid be created?" One of them asked and Azula grinned.

"They'd be born, just like you or I. The parents would only need mild gene therapy to make the birth possible." She told them, which only seemed to shock them a little more.

"But, what do you mean by 'perfect'?" Another asked and she pulled up the relevant data on a pad in response.

"I mean that there would be none of the competitive inhibition between chiral receptors that we've been seeing and none of the autoimmune response, either. They _should_ be perfectly healthy. I have used the genetic code of Subjects One and Two to produce several images of what a human/turian hybrid should look like." She said pulling up some pictures on the screen in front of her. Philip frowned at the images that were very close to what Azula looked like, minus small changes like gender, plate colour, height and skin tone. All things that changed in each image anyway. "Some turian traits are always dominant over their human counterparts and vice versa, so all of the hybrids _should_ look fairly similar. It's not until subsequent generations that greater variety occurs, but it would still be nothing damaging or… how should I put this? Less than aesthetically pleasing."

"So, you've perfected the turian-human hybrids. I fail to see how this helps us combat Cerberus." Another scientist said and Azula folded her arms, rolling her eyes.

"It's not _just_ turian and human. It's all species. I could bore you with a Prothean history lesson, or I could just tell you that they laid the groundwork in most sentient species. I mean, obviously the line has been drawn at hanar and elcor. But still, if you keep it to the humanoid sentient races, hybrids should be perfectly possible." Azula said, but Nataliya nodded to the scientist.

"You do, of course, have a point. This information doesn't, on its own, help against Cerberus. But it does lay the groundwork for manipulation of the hybrid's genetic structure. In time, we could weaponize this data. In combination with the virus that Gamma team is working on, it could be used to further destabilize the hybrids' system, disabling them permanently." She said and Azula shot her a glare.

"Don't beat about the bush, Nat. You're talking about genocide." She spat bitterly and Philip got the sense that this was a rerun of an extremely worn out argument.

"Just of the Cerberus hybrids. Zu, they're not stable. They _will_ die and it won't be pleasant. If anything, this would be an act of kindness." Nataliya said softly, but Azula shook her head.

"No. We can use the same technique to stabilize them." She said, causing a shocked silence throughout the room.

"You're proposing that we _help_ the enemy soldiers?" One of the scientists asked and Azula nodded.

"Look, I know that it sounds crazy. But they're only loyal to Cerberus because they're promising to stabilize their condition. If we offer them it for real, they might turn from Cerberus." She said and Tia shook her head, finally entering the conversation.

"That's a big might, Zu. You know that I am a big believer in the use of insane tactics but this is crazy, even by your standards. Which is saying something." She said and Azula sent her a pleading look.

"It could work." She said but she kept shaking her head.

"No, it wouldn't. Zu, they've been raised by Cerberus. Brainwashed. It's all they know. They have no reason to believe us and, even if they did, they would never turn." She said but Azula just sighed.

"I'm not completely insane. We should keep the virus as Plan B but… I can't kill anyone without giving them a choice, Tia. And even if we do manage to kill them, then what? We have no real leads to get those behind this. This might be our best bet." She said and Tia turned to Tiberius.

"You think it could work?" She asked but he frowned.

"I think that it would shine a huge spotlight on you." He said to Azula, catching her off guard a little.

"I know." She said and she could hear the frustration in his sub-harmonics.

"Right. You'd willingly put yourself in danger. No shock there, then." He said angrily and she nodded.

"Yeah. I would. Because it's the right thing to do." She told him and he sighed.

"It _could_ work. But it's dangerous and stupid and reckless." He told her and she gave a tiny smile.

"All of my hallmarks, then." She said before turning to the other scientists. "We'll continue to work on both plans and I'll also continue my work with Subjects One and Two."

"So, you're actually going to do it, then? Try and create a hybrid?" One of the scientists asked and she nodded.

"You don't sound too happy about it." She observed and he folded his arms in response.

"Of course not. You're messing with things you shouldn't be. The child will be considered an abomination and ostracized." He said and Tia spoke up once more.

"I think you're giving people too little credit. As I recall, the response to everyone finding out about the Original Hybrid was, overall, a positive and hopeful one." She said and the scientist scoffed.

"Only because she died before any negative response could surface. It was probably a mercy that she died in that blast." He said and Tiberius let out an angry, protective growl.

"_What did you just say?_" He hissed and Philip put a hand on his shoulder.

"Smiley, _calm down_." He said before turning to the scientist. "Sarah was a friend of ours. Please be more respectful."

"I'm sorry." He said and Azula struggled to find her voice again, all of her words dying in her throat as it seemed to close up. She could make neither head nor tails of Tiberius's reaction. Did he react that way to defend her or the memory of who she had been?

"This is all assuming that this will work. What if you can't weaponize the data _or_ stabilize the hybrids?" One woman asked and Azula's eyes took on a deadened look before she spoke again.

"We move onto Plan C." She said simply.

"Plan C?" Tia asked and Azula refused to meet her gaze.

"We use me as bait. Get some solid intel on Cerberus's whereabouts and hopefully blow them up." She said simply and everyone stared at her in shock, apart from Philip. If she couldn't stabilize her condition, she was living on borrowed time.

If she was going to die, she was going to take as many of those bastards with her as she could.

"We can talk about this more later. For now, we should get to work." Nataliya said and everyone murmured in agreement before heading out of the room.

Azula was only a little down the corridor before she was pulled into an empty room by a furious Tiberius.

"What the hell was that?!" He demanded and she shrugged, pretending to not know what he meant.

"A recap of our work so far." She said and he growled a little in frustration.

"You know what I mean!" He said and she shook her head, tiredly.

"No, Red. I don't." She replied and he glared at her.

"Do you have a death wish?" He asked, lowly, and she shook her head before returning his glare.

"No. This isn't how it works. I'm a grown woman and I make my own decisions." She told him shortly and he ceased all efforts to hold back his growl.

"Not when you refuse to see how your decisions affect others!" He shouted back but she held his glare, her own frustration from three years of separation bubbling to the surface and igniting into anger.

"But it's still _my_ decision to make! I am all alone in this, Red. Because, in the end, it all comes down to _me_. It's _my_ responsibility." The pain was clear in her voice but he couldn't see past the anger at her decision.

"I won't let you throw your life away!"

"Why the hell not?!"

He faltered at that.

He_ should_ have just told her right then and there that he still loved her - that he had never stopped loving her - but, before he could make up his mind, she was speaking again.

"Yeah, I thought so." Her words were heavy with hurt and anger as her biotics flared across her skin and she left the room, leaving a very confused and hollow Tiberius in her wake.

* * *

"_All this feels strange and untrue,_

_And I won't waste a minute without you,_

_My bones ache, my skin feels cold,_

_And I'm getting so tired and so old._

_The anger swells in my guts,_

_And I won't feel these slices and cuts,_

_I want so much to open your eyes,_

_'Cause I need you to look into mine._

_Tell me that you'll open your eyes,_

_Tell me that you'll open your eyes,_

_Tell me that you'll open your eyes..._"

She knew that it was a bad idea to leave the building with Cerberus still in the area but she couldn't stay still. Her biotics were still flaring and she couldn't deactivate them. She didn't know where to go, she didn't have her own place since she slept in the lab. There was only one place she could go.

"Zu! What the hell happened?!" Cee asked as her friend walked into her apartment, finally letting her biotics flare enough to be seen, dropping the barrier that had holding back both the blue flames and her tears.

"I... I can't..." She started and Cee gave her a sympathetic look, unable to get to her for the whirlwind biotic energy swirling around her friend. At that moment, Azula was reminded of the moment on the Citadel when she had lost control of her biotics and Red had simply ignored them as he held her close and told her he loved her.

The memory just brought forth more tears as the biotic energy crackled around her, causing her hair to lift from her features.

"Zu, are you going to stop destroying my apartment anytime soon?" Cee asked but her friend didn't seem to hear her. "_Sarah!_"

"Wha-" Sarah was pulled from her daze as her friend used her real name, the shock causing her biotics to dissipate. "How did you...?"

"You're _really_ terrible at keeping secrets." Cee told her, rolling her eyes, and Sarah let out a strange mix of a sob and laugh.

"Yeah, I'm starting to get that..." She said as she sat down on Cee's sofa, pulling her legs up to her chest.

"So, what did he do?"

"Wha-"

"Red. I'm assuming you found him. What happened?" Cee asked and Sarah rested her head on her knees, curling herself up into an even smaller ball.

"So, do you just know everything?" Sarah asked, the intended humour absent from her voice.

"You talk in your sleep. It's cute, if a little annoying. You've crashed here a couple of times over the years and it became quite easy to find out what you've been hiding."

"How come you never mentioned it?"

"Well, I know that I have a habit of overstepping boundaries and... Well, erm... Some of the things _may_ have been a little personal." She stammered and Sarah blushed furiously.

"Do I want to know?"

"Probably not... I mean, you're surprisingly coherent for a sleep talker. A little _too_ coherent. So, you had to fake your death to escape Cerberus and you left your bondmate behind. Have I got that right?" Sarah just nodded at that, unable to speak. "So, now he's back?" Another nod. "So, what's the problem?"

"What... What if he doesn't..." Sarah started and Cee's subharmonics trilled back with disbelief.

"I have always known that you're crazy, Zu. Everyone knows that. But, this? Questioning whether your turian bondmate still loves you? That's absurd, even for you." She said and Sarah sighed.

"Even if he does... I'm scared of what that means." Sarah admitted hollowly and Cee sighed before standing up.

"Get up." She told her friend who just gave her a questioning look. "Come on."

"Why?"

"Because you're going to straighten yourself out, march yourself back there and kiss the boy." Cee told her and Sarah groaned.

"Cee..." She started but her friend just gave her a _look_.

"No. You are not staying on my sofa and eating all of my dextro ice-cream. Which, by the way, is kind of a give away on the whole hybrid thing." She said and Sarah groaned once more, burying her head in her knees again.

"I don't wanna..."

"Yes, you do. Now get up and... What was it you told Damien to do when I was the one whining about whether or not he loved me?"

"'Bust a move'?"

"Yeah. So, get up and _bust a move_!" Cee said and Sarah nodded, before standing up and wiping the remnants of her tears from her eyes.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." She admitted, reluctantly, and Cee smirked.

"You say that like it's a surprise." She commented and Sarah dropped her gaze, looking more than a little sheepish.

"Thanks, Cee. I think... I think I'm done fighting against my feelings. I think now I want to fight _for_ them."

"Sarah, _leave_. For fuck's sake, leave and get the guy."

"Okay, okay, I'm going. But, just before I go?" She said, pulling up her omni-tool.

"Yeah?"

"Here. Give these to Damien. He'll know what to do." She passed her friend the correct files and Cee gave her a look of disbelief.

"Are these what I think they are?" She finally managed to ask.

"Yep."

"But... There's no way that you're allowed to just _give_ me this..." Sarah shrugged at that.

"Who would stop me? The Alliance? The Council? I think it's safe to say that I'm the only one with any real authority on this and I say that if you and Damien want to have kids, who the hell am I to stop you."

"You know, I think you like making enemies." Cee said and Sarah smirked at her, shrugging.

"Everybody needs a hobby." She reasoned.

"Thank you." Cee pulled her into a hug and Sarah couldn't help but grin. After all of the bad things, all of the hurt that she had seen and endured, this felt _good_. If ever she had a normal life, if ever she _could_, she would want to help people like Cee.

If only life were that simple...

"He's waiting for you." Cee told her and Sarah pulled away, nodding.

"I probably won't be able to see you again for a while..."

"_Sarah_! Go!"


	17. Chapter Seventeen - Forwards, Not Back

**AN: Guess what I got you guys for Christmas? ^^**

**I just wanted to say thank you with all of my heart to all of my readers. I mean, seriously, you guys spoil me rotten. Over 10,000 views, 50 favourites, 100 follows and 40 reviews. You guys are seriously brilliant and I can't even begin to believe the response this story has generated so thankyouthankyouthankyou and I wish you merry Christmas/whichever religious festival you celebrate in the winter (I'm not religious so I'm celebrating commercial Christmas) and a happy new year! ^^**

**Of course, as always, special thanks goes to Spyke1985 for betaing for me. You're the best!**

**Hope you enjoy!**

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**AN - Additional: The two songs in this chapter are In My Veins by Andrew Belle and It's Time by Imagine Dragons (I'm a huge fan of ID) but I also realised that I didn't point out that the song in Chapter 14 is Twenty Seven Years by Eleanor Mawson which I should have done because she's a local artist and I don't think you can find her stuff online yet but she's in the process of setting up a Youtube channel so I'll put up the link once she has since I totally love her stuff.**

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**Chapter Seventeen - Forwards, Not Back**

Sarah had arrived back at the Alliance building nine minutes and forty three seconds ago. Tiberius knew this, because that's how long he had been standing outside her office, trying to decide whether or not to go in. Would she even want to see him? Would she just kick him out?

"If you let it get to ten minutes, then you're truly pathetic," Philip said as he approached, causing Tiberius to snap his head up to face the human. "Look, Smiley, trust me on this; you _want_ to go inside. _She_ wants you to. She'd just never say it because she's Rookie and she's stubborn." At that point, Philip just left. Tiberius barely waited another second before glancing down at his omni-tool.

9 minutes and 57 seconds...

He knocked on her door, hoping that he would have the courage to tell her the things he had been desperate to for three years.

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"_Nothing goes as planned,_

_Everything will break,_

_People say goodbye,_

_In their own special way,_

_All that you rely on,_

_And all that you can fake,_

_Will leave you in the morning,_

_But find you in the day._

_Oh, you're in my veins,_

_And I cannot get you out,_

_Oh, you're all I taste,_

_At night inside of my mouth,_

_Oh, you run away,_

_'Cause I am not what you found,_

_Oh, you're in my veins,_

_And I cannot get you out._

_Everything will change,_

_Nothing stays the same,_

_Nobody here's perfect,_

_Oh, but everyone's to blame,_

_Oh, all that you rely on,_

_And all that you can save,_

_Will leave you in the morning,_

_And find you in the day..._"

Sarah cursed a little as her door beeped at her. She knew without a doubt who would be on the other side. She wished she could say it was because she knew that only four people would be knocking on her door - three of which she knew to be busy - not that she simply _knew_. But she _did_ simply _know_. Another reminder of how things had changed in the past three years, though if she was being honest, she knew it had started to change before she'd left the Citadel. She'd put it down to her simply becoming more observant, but that rationalization only went so far.

So, she was very much aware that behind the door was the familiar presence of Tiberius. Her heart seemed to tug at the knowledge, as if trying to drag her back to his side. She was struck by the fact that - for once - she didn't _want_ to run. She'd been running before because it had become her habit, but if she was going to run now, she knew that it would be _to_ him. She'd always known that she hadn't stopped loving him, but… Three years of self-doubts were chasing themselves around her head, leaving her unsure of everything. She knew that she had to try and fix things, to bridge the three year gap that had left her in this limbo state, not quite as bad as she had once been, but not quite whole, either.

The door beeped once more, reminding her of that last night before leaving the Citadel. She wouldn't ignore him this time. This time, she'd be the one to make things right.

_If he even wants you to_, her traitorous mind prompted, and she nodded to steel herself, her determination setting in. She _had_ to do this.

No other options.

She opened the door as she dialed down her music, turning to face the dark figure in her doorway. All of the air seemed to evacuate from her lungs as she noticed the awkwardness of his stance, the nerves showing through his sub-harmonics. He was as nervous as she was, prompting her to give him a weak smile.

"Hey," She eventually managed to say softly.

"Hey," He replied in kind, and they both stood for a few moments before she realized they were just standing there awkwardly, blocking the doorway.

"Erm, come in…" She said, stammering a little awkwardly as she stood back to let him enter the room.

"I… Um… Can we talk?" He asked, and she could sense his hesitation. She marveled a little at that. Three years absent, and he was still as familiar to her as ever. She knew that the last three years had changed him - she could see that clearly - but it hadn't touched what made him _Red_.

"Yeah…" She told him, putting all of her effort into not pacing. She could see he was doing the same, prompting her to speak up. "I actually… I wanted to talk to you. About things. I've been… Avoiding things. You. And I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, I just…" Her words seemed to escape her at that. Things had been easy between them once, but she had no idea how to get back to that point.

"Blue…" He started, but she shook her head, raking her hand through her hair as she gave a slight growl of frustration at herself.

"I don't want to fuck this up. And I am. And I don't know how to not, I mean, how do I stop whatever it is that I'm doing that's messing things up? Because I just can't figure it out, I don't know how to… I just don't know, and it's the worst feeling in the world-"

"Blue, I get it."

She nodded as he interrupted her, then shook her head. "No, you don't. I'm being inarticulate and vague. I think we both know _exactly _what we need to talk about but… I don't have the _words_," She admitted, before leaning against the wall, pulling her hair from her features as she removed her glasses.

"Yeah, me neither," He told her, and she gave a short, soft laugh.

"_Great. _Well, neither of us knows what to say. Fucking _perfect_," She muttered before lapsing back into silence.

"So, how've you been?"

She snorted a little at that. "Seriously? _That's_ what you're going to go with?" She asked, causing him to shrug.

"It's better than silence," He figured.

She sighed and nodded sadly. "Alright then, what do you want to know?"

"Anything. Everything, I guess."

"It's been a long three years. Well, in some ways it has. In others… It hasn't."

"Yeah…" He agreed softly.

She tried to think of where to start, but there were too many ways to tell the story. The successful student inspired to make the galaxy a better place. The hybrid trying to figure out how to stabilize her condition. The shell of a girl, waiting for her _heart_ to come home…

"Well, I got my degree, got my PhD, worked on genetic disorders for a while, and I've been tackling the hybrid problem for about a year now. I've made a grand total of three friends; Cee, her bondmate Damien, and of course, Nat. Honestly, I've been too busy for much else, so that about sums up the past three years for me..." She trailed off, shrugging as her gaze dropped to the floor.

"Yeah, I know the feeling. I think I just spent all of my time trying to keep myself busy..."

She nodded in response, knowing what he meant all too well. "The first year was bad. The second was worse. And the third… I began to wonder if things would ever get back to how they had been. If they ever _could_." Tiberius shifted at that, making Sarah wonder if the conversation had drifted too close to _them_. "Sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"No. It's okay. I just… It was scarily accurate. Because that's how it's been for me too," He admitted.

She gave him an awkward shrug. "I…" She didn't have the words. How was she supposed to articulate everything she was feeling? The way she felt as if she was being pulled in two by her head and heart as they fought it out.

_She loved him_.

Why was it so hard to say? She wondered, although she knew the answer. It was hard because she had changed and so had he. They had but they hadn't. She was more than willing to try. He already had her heart, everything else was just logistics. She had never believed that love conquered all because the concept had seemed so absurd. A chemical imbalance that inhibits one's ability to function wasn't something to be lauded, rather it was something to be warned against and avoided.

Except it _wasn't_. He had her heart and, beyond all reason and common sense, that was okay with her. She just had to _tell_ him...

"Okay," She finally said, taking a deep breath as she began to wring her hands together, pacing a little before stopping to frown a little, biting her lip hard enough to draw purple blood. She had made her decision and she was _going_ to tell him. It might be rushed and ineloquent and the wrong way to go about things, but when had they ever done things the _right_ way? "I'm just going to be honest and blunt because, let's face it, I'm _really_ bad at anything else, and I've been trying to figure out how to approach this gently, and how to be subtle about it and patient with you, but I'm the _least_ patient person I know, which, quite frankly, is saying something. So, here it is: I love you. That hasn't changed, and I don't think that it'll ever change. I _know_ that three years have passed, and we've both changed, but... At the same time, we haven't. So, I love you, but I know that I'm not a full blooded turian, and there's a very real chance that you never _fully_ bonded to me, and that you've moved on. And that's okay, because as much as it would break my heart, I know that you... Well, I already told you this three years ago, but you can never have a normal life with me, so I'm just... I'm giving you a free out. You don't have to pretend or lie to spare my feelings. Just, go back to the Citadel and know that I'm not angry or-"

"Blue, _wait_ a minute." He walked over to where she was pacing, gently touching the sides of her arms to hold her still as he noted the tears lacing her not-the-right-colour eyes. "You thought that I never fully bonded with you?" She looked away, giving an awkward half-shrug. He sighed at that, shaking his head a little. He'd spent so long doubting her feelings for him that he'd never stopped to consider that she might doubt _his_ feelings for _her_. He supposed that the separation had gotten to both of them more than they had realized, as he gently moved his fingers to the bondmark on the side of her neck. "I meant what I said when I marked you, I will _always_ love you. That's never going to change."

Heat flushed over her face as she met his eyes for just a moment, hope radiating from them before she looked down again, sighing. "I feel the same way... I just... Damn it. The last three years have just been... _Difficult_. Everyone's been turning to me," She explained. "The Council, the Alliance… They've all been turning to me for answers, to try and figure out what to do about the hybrids, and it's all been on me. No parents, no boss, and no _partner_ to talk anything out with..."

She trailed off, pausing momentarily at that, as her heart ached at the memories of their roof-top conversations on the Citadel, before continuing. "I want to say that the responsibility has changed me; made me into the leader everyone seems to expect me to be. But… It hasn't. I'm still just that dumb kid who has no idea who she is or what she's doing…" She sighed, pulling away from him a little as she folded her arms across her chest. She felt tired. "This all just seems completely random, doesn't it? I don't mean to whine on at you, I just… Damn, I was just trying to explain why…"

"It's okay, Blue. I understand." And he did. Turians weren't supposed to live alone; they didn't deal well with isolation. Sarah had people around her, but her secrets had kept her truly isolated from everyone else. Tia had always made it her job to make sure _he_ didn't let the isolation get to him, but it hadn't always worked. His friendship with Sarah had been the first _real_ connection he'd made in years, making her absence even more noticeable. So, he understood completely how isolated and alone she felt.

She would never need him to protect her, never need him to hold her hand, but she needed to know that she wasn't alone. She was too damn quick to shoulder everything by herself in an effort to protect others. It was one of her more infuriating qualities, but also one of the things he loved most about her, though he could see it was taking its toll on her. He knew that she would never share her burden with him until he told her he wanted her to. As much as she would never admit it, she was too selfless for her own good.

_Kinder than she wants to be..._

"And, I know who you are. You're Sarah," He told her simply, as he stood next to her, stepping closer to her once more. He half expected her to push him away, his heart warming when she instead smiled a little at the memory of him telling her the same thing three years earlier. Before things got complicated. "You're Blue, and anyone can see that hasn't changed. You're still stubborn and hot-headed and kinder than you want to be. A little tired, maybe, but still the same."

She nodded at that, her eyes still not quite meeting his. "Yeah, tired's right. I'm tired of running, Red," She told him, lowly, as she finally met his gaze. "It's been too long and it's just too draining…"

"Yeah… I'm tired of running, too." He shifted closer to her, and he could tell by her expression that she was torn. "But, you're not alone anymore, Blue. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. It'll take more than Cerberus to take me from you again."

Her gaze shifted away again, as she raked her hand through her hair once more. "This is going to sound awful but… Part of me wishes that you had moved on. I… I should have a warning label or something – 'approach with caution or you will get hurt' – because there is no happy ending to this tale. Even if we defeat Cerberus, my life will never be simple. The thought that I will forever be dragging you from danger to danger-"

He cut her off. "Blue, stop. Stop trying to scare me away. I meant what I said; I am tired of running, and I knew all of this when I marked you. I don't do or say things I don't mean, you should know that by now."

A smirk tugged at the corner of her mouth. "I _do_ know, it's one of my favourite things about you, I just had to be sure. Because I meant it too. I'm done. I've finally found something worth staying for. Something worth fighting for. Something I know I can't live without. I love you and I always have, I just… I wish that this could be easy."

"Who says it can't be?" He asked as he stepped closer to her, his fingers brushing the strands of red from her plates, revealing them to be scarred along the right side. "I love you, Blue. Scars and all. It doesn't have to be more complicated than that."

She sighed at that, not moving from his touch. "I just wish that you didn't have to give up so much to be with me. Give up a _normal_ life. I feel selfish for even asking for it from you."

"When did you start overthinking things?" He wondered.

She gave a weak smile in response. "It's a bad habit I've picked up lately…"

"Well, _don't_. Blue, _I need you_."

She blinked. There was a reason those words were considered more powerful to turians than saying 'I love you'. They hated to show weakness in any way, so to admit that someone held your heart so completely…

In the age-old battle between head and heart, Sarah's heart had finally won out as she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him forward as she pressed her lips to his plates, as passionately as she could, given the inter-species differences. He parted his lips a little in response, allowing her tongue access. The kiss was deep and slow, breaking down every last barrier that her fear and anxiety had erected in the past three years, leaving only the simple truth that she had missed him. That she had ached for his presence for three long years. She focused all of her thoughts on communicating to him how much she loved him, how much she had missed him, as the knot of anxiety that she had been carrying around in her stomach all day seemed to unravel, and ignite into a burning desire that spread quickly through her.

_I need you, too_, she told him through her thoughts, hoping desperately that it would work. She had been shunning her 'gut instinct' ever since she'd begun to realize that it might be something more, but this was different. This was worth it. He stared at her, his eyes wide with disbelief, as she pulled away from the kiss, their breathing a little heavy as she gave him a small, sheepish smile.

"Blue?" He asked softly.

She gave an awkward half-shrug. "It's a long story but… Turns out that the reason why my instincts are so good is because I'm a little bit telepathic," She admitted, causing him to give her a dumb-founded look.

"Wait, you're _what_? Is that a hybrid thing?"

She shook her head at that. "No, it's a Blood Born thing."

His sub-harmonics trilled with question.

She sighed a little, trying to organize her thoughts into something that would make sense to someone who hadn't been raised in a family where she was the outsider for _not_ being telepathic. "Do you remember what I told you about the Blood Tied? There are also legends about their children, the Blood Born. Every species has latent telepathic abilities, but the Blood Tied are supposed to be able to access them more easily. I never really thought about it because all Blood Born have been krogan since the Blood Tied bond can only be formed between two krogan, or between two members of different species."

She paused, sighing softly. "It's not really a conscious thing but… I do pick up on thoughts and feelings more easily than others. It's just a heightened version of what humans call 'gut instinct'. Stuff that's all normally subconscious. But when I was back home, my mum called in some favours with old friends to help her to hunt down Cerberus, so my aunt Samara was onboard for a while. She helped me figure out that this kind of weak telepathic bond was possible, but… It would require me to completely open myself up to another person…"

She trailed off as he began to understand what she was saying. She always hid behind her secrets. She may not _like_ them, but somewhere along the way they had become her safety net. No one could hurt you if you never let them get close. And yet, here she was, allowing him to see inside her thoughts in the ultimate display of trust. If anything proved that what they once had was salvageable, it was this.

He pulled her close to him once more, his mouth plates brushing her lips in invitation. She kissed him again, becoming quickly overwhelmed by the feeling of love and belonging he was sending her, erasing any doubts that may have lingered in the darker corners of her mind.

_This_ was where she belonged, of that she was sure. He had made it clear that nothing could keep him from her side, not even her own self-doubts, and she knew that the same could be said for her. She _would_ survive this, because she had no intention of leaving him alone ever again.

_That a promise?_

She was impressed by how quickly he was grasping the telepathy between them, their excited states making communication much easier and clearer than it would be normally. _Always..._ She thought as his hands moved down to stroke her waist, eliciting a low growl from her as he began to tug her jumper over her head, but she stopped him, pulling away to talk aloud.

"Just double checking here, but shouldn't we take this slow? Isn't that normally how these things go?" She asked, a little hesitantly.

To his credit, he pulled away a little to give her room. "Do you want to take things slow?"

"Not even a little."

"Then why-"

She gave a short, nervous laugh. "I don't know. It's a human cultural thing, just ignore me..." She told him dismissively, before her lips were on his mouth plates again.

He pulled away a little, frowning. "Blue, if you're not sure-"

She cut him off, using the contact that still remained between them to convey her feeling of certainty. "I've been living on Earth for the past three years, and human culture tends to take a bit more of a judgey approach to the physical side of relationships than turians do. I swear, half the fucking planet's sexually repressed," She told him, drawing out a smile from him.

"You have no idea how much I've missed you," He murmured as he brought his tongue to her neck, tracing her bondmark, making her weak in the knees.

_Then show me_, she told him through their bond, before she tugged her jumper over her head, discarding it to reveal the scarred skin beneath, though he didn't seem to be bothered, his gaze drinking in her form, not averting from anything.

_Scars and all_, he reminded her as he continued to kiss her. She bit back a moan as his hands traveled down from her arms and neck to her waist, his talons drifting across the sensitive skin ever so lightly, sending shivers down her body, straight down between her legs.

"You're very good at that," She told him out loud as she pulled away a little, moving her lips to his neck. _Kissing, I mean,_ she clarified through their bond, causing him to grin a little.

_You are an excellent teacher and I am an attentive student_, he replied, his hands trailing down to her ass, lifting her onto the edge of the desk, allowing him to stand in front of her, giving him the maneuverability to press himself close to her. The armour he was still wearing was cold against her skin, causing it to rise into little goosebumps as she gasped a little at the stark contrast of the metal to the heat radiating from her skin.

One of her hands moved to his waist, despite the fact that he couldn't feel it through the thick metal of his armour, causing him to give a slight growl of frustration. But he was careful to keep his touch slow, knowing full well that she was too impatient to let him continue at this pace for long.

She moved her other hand to the sensitive spot beneath his fringe, gently teasing so that he had to bite back a growl as his heated gaze drifted over her once more, eventually settling on her left hand, noting more scars. His sub-harmonics trilled with question as his fingers gently traced the pattern there, different to the scorch pattern across her other side.

_Lab accident, _she explained softly, feeling his understanding through their bond as he moved closer to her, nipping at the side of her neck, causing the growl in her sub-harmonics to deepen as she kept her fingers teasing the sensitive spot beneath his fringe, his own making fast work of removing her skirt as she kicked off her boots.

He slowly started to move down from her neck, the feel of his rough tongue on her exposed skin causing her to bite her lip a little as she moaned, moving herself against the hard metal of his armour, trying to bring some relief to her aching cunt as he continued his torturously slow pace. She tried to convey her frustration to him, but he seemed to be ignoring her in favour of pushing her closer and closer to the edge.

His fingers moved to fumble with her bra, but after a few moments, he simply used his talons to slice through it, causing her to smile at one of the only signs of impatience he ever displayed. To her delight, he began to move his tongue down to her newly freed breasts, slowly circling each of her nipples in turn as they pebbled, showing him just how crazy he was driving her.

She moved her hands to start unfastening his armour, sure that she would find him already hard and waiting, but he covered hers with his own, pinning them to the desk on either side of her as he moved his tongue down further, and her breath hitched in anticipation of what would come next. Her back arched and her body shuddered with pleasure as he moved his tongue lightly across her core after removing her already dampened underwear. She spread her legs wider as he ran his tongue over her a few more times, eventually stopping his teasing to concentrate on her clit as he began to circle it slowly, causing her to moan, her hips bucking a little, silently begging him to keep going.

She arched her back again; her breathing ragged as she suddenly became very aware of the fact that this was _her_ Red. He was finally back with her, and her heart swelled with the knowledge as it seemed to be trying to pull itself from her chest and bring her closer to him, accentuating the pleasure coursing through her as she felt an orgasm build, wiping all coherent thought from her mind as she eventually came, crying out his name.

He paused for a few moments as he felt the ghost of her pleasure through their bond, before he started nipping at her once more, moving back up to her neck, running his tongue along her bondmark as she waited a few moments for rational thought to return. As soon as it did, she quickly moved her nimble fingers across his remaining armour, stripping him down to his undersuit in record time, before sliding off the desk herself and pushing him back to the spot where she had been.

_Your turn_, she thought, grinning, as she kissed along his neck, her hands helping him out of his undersuit. It didn't take long for his state of undress to match her own, and she was careful to repeat his movements almost _exactly_ as she ran her tongue along the sensitive skin beneath his plates, her fingers gently trailing along his plates, noting the small differences. She was sure he'd gotten taller and a little broader, her light touch finding a multitude of small scars that she was sure hadn't been there before. She let her sub-harmonics trill with question, imitating him once more.

_Battle scars_, he explained. She nodded in understanding as she continued to move her tongue down, over the sensitive skin of his waist, slowly making her way down to his cock, which was already unsheathed and rock hard. As soon as she ran her tongue along his hard length she felt him shudder beneath her, as his sub-harmonics began to growl with red hot lust that had her cunt aching for attention once more.

She ran her tongue up and down his member a few more times before she took him into her mouth, being _extremely_ careful with her teeth, knowing that as much as they weren't as sharp as a turian's, they still weren't as blunt as their human counterparts. His growl deepened, sounding with a moan in his primary vocalizations that made her sub-harmonics growl in response as she felt the slickness grow between her thighs, moving her fingers between her folds in an effort to relieve some of the need that once more reminded her of just how long it had been.

"_Blue_..." Tiberius gasped as she moaned once more, pulling her away from him ever so slightly, giving her the clear message that he desperately wanted to be inside of her. As soon as she stood up, he was on her again, and suddenly found his body pressed up against hers as he moved faster than she could track, his hands moving to tease the sensitive skin on her waist as she moaned with delight at his apparent impatience for her. She found herself once more backed up to the edge of the desk where she lifted herself up, hooking her legs around his narrow waist as he entered her.

Despite their impatience, he moved slowly, making her wonder if he was concerned about hurting her as she wrapped her arms around his torso, moving up to tease the spot beneath his fringe. Her question was quickly answered, though, as he nuzzled his face to her neck, allowing himself to be enveloped in her scent. She could feel through their bond that he was reminding himself this was _real_, that she was here. She pulled her head back from his before pressing their foreheads together, hoping to convey everything she was feeling back at him as her eyes locked with his.

At that, she rolled her hips against his, quickly establishing a rather rough pace. It had been _far_ too long for both of them. He quickly began to move in unison with her, matching her pace exactly as he slid his thick length in and out of her, loving the feeling of her muscles around him as her breath became irregular beneath the sound of her moaning his name. It was the most erotic thing he had ever heard, and coupled with the feel of her tightening around him as he drove her closer and closer to her climax, it brought him ever nearer to the edge of his own release.

Tiberius quickened his pace, rapidly bringing her to the brink of orgasm as his hard length pumped in and out of her, the ridge of his groinal plating hitting her sensitive nub on every stroke. It wasn't long before her body was wracked with pleasure as she came around him, dragging him with her as he spilled inside of her.

This time, she was the one nuzzling her face into the crook of his neck, looking for confirmation that he was real, that he wouldn't fade or slip away from her. She couldn't smell his scent as strongly as he could smell hers, but it was enough to put her at ease. It had been three very long years, but now that she had him back, she had no intention of going anywhere else, ever again.

"Blue... I love you," He told her out loud once more; making sure that nothing was left unsaid, as she moved her head back up from his neck, pressing her forehead to his gently.

"I love you too, Red," She replied softly, her sub-harmonics trilling with contentment as she was filled with a feeling of belonging and safety that had eluded her for over six years. Maybe she couldn't go back, couldn't reverse time to before she had been ripped from him by circumstance, but maybe that was okay. The prospect of forward no longer looked so terrible to her. The landscape of her future was no longer so bleak.

"When was the last time you slept?" He asked her gently, noting the dark circles under her eyes as he felt her exhaustion through her bond, his talons running tentatively through her hair.

She shrugged in response. "I don't sleep. Not really. When I get too exhausted, I often pass out at my desk. I think the last time was before you arrived here," She admitted.

His sub-harmonics trilled with understanding. "Same. I think we could both use some rest."

She nodded in reply. "Yeah. Some rest would be nice..."

* * *

"_So this is what you meant,_

_When you said that you were spent,_

_And now it's time to build from the bottom of the pit,_

_Right to the top,_

_Don't hold back,_

_Packing my bags and giving the academy a rain check._

_I don't ever want to let you down,_

_I don't ever want to leave this town,_

_'Cause after all,_

_This city never sleeps at night._

_It's time to begin, isn't it?_

_I get a little bit bigger, but then I'll admit,_

_I'm just the same as I was,_

_Now don't you understand,_

_That I'm never changing who I am..._"

Sarah groaned as her omni-tool blared at her, signaling that it was morning already. She went to pull her blanket up to ward away the cold morning air, when she felt a warm three-fingered hand move across her side, and a newly-familiar form nuzzled into her neck, causing her to smile despite the unholy hour as she received proof that her memories of the night before were entirely accurate.

"Sorry, I'm usually woken by nightmares before this thing goes off..." She muttered as she turned to face him, a blush forming across her cheeks at their closeness. She wondered if her insides would ever stop fluttering at the thought of him being hers.

"I was already up, anyway," He told her.

She smiled as she realized that the connection between their minds was still open as his talons traced the edges of the scars that trailed down her right side. "You're worrying." She observed, her voice soft, as he sighed a little before letting his sub-harmonics trill with reassurance.

"It's nothing."

She wondered at that, their connection not strong enough to let her know if he was lying or not. She was only getting the impressions of emotions, meaning that all she could tell was that he was reveling in the moment as much as she was, neither of them wanting to return to the harsh realities of the world beyond her small cot.

Not that she wasn't still keeping things from him too, but she couldn't do it. She couldn't tell him.

The worst part of working on the Corpalis trials had been the bondmates. When they'd brought their bonded into the labs for treatment, she'd seen the look in their eyes, heard the pain in their sub-harmonics as they watched the person they loved slowly slip away from them...

She couldn't watch Red go through that. Not for her. Her chances of figuring out how to stabilize herself were good, she figured. She just couldn't bear to cause him any pain over something that may never happen. And in the end, even if she couldn't stabilize herself, she had no intention of dying the slow, painful death she had seen the other hybrids endure. The slow rotting of the major organs, coupled with brain damage that would accumulate over time until her body just gave up...

She'd rather put a bullet between her eyes and be done with it.

She noticed him tense up momentarily, and froze as she wondered if he'd picked up on any of her thoughts through their newly-formed bond, but his sub-harmonics continued to trill with adoration, echoing her own, not missing a beat.

He knew that she was keeping _something_ from him. He'd managed to pick up on that much the night before. He was about to ask her about the things she was keeping hidden, but he knew, from the overwhelming feeling of guilt and sorrow that accompanied the question she sensed in his mind, that she didn't want to keep it hidden.

"You know that you never have to lie to me," He told her softly. She had nodded in reply, moving a little closer to him as he noted the pain in her eyes.

"I know but I'm lying for me. Can you just… Let me do that? Please?"

He nodded in response, knowing that she was trying to protect him from something but he could sense that there was more to it than that. Something she was hiding from. "Does it hurt?" He asked, referring to the missing section of skin that revealed the charred plates of her right shoulder beneath it, in an effort to change the subject.

"No. The nerve endings were in the skin which isn't there anymore so I can't really feel much of anything there," She admitted as he pulled her closer. She had explained that their bond would only work with direct contact, much like asari melding, so he was quick to draw her to him to use it to convey the reassurance that was sounding in his sub-harmonics.

"I just want to stay here forever…" She told him softly.

He smiled at her. "Yeah. Me too."

She frowned as his gaze stayed on her scars. "I know they look bad," She told him. "I've had three years to get used to the scars, but I know how shocking they look. Even after three years of healing..."

"The scars don't bother me. They're proof of everything that you've survived. They show that you're a fighter. It's just... They're also a reminder that I almost lost you."

She shifted a little at that, guiltily, although she sensed that there was something more to his comment. "What? What is it?" She asked softly.

He sighed a little as he tried to figure out how to word his reply, though he needn't have bothered as she could sense his intent. "At the risk of sounding like an overprotective bondmate... Yesterday, when you ran off, it worried me a little. I _know_ that you can take care of yourself, but... Cerberus is still in the area, and... I guess I just would have felt a little better if I had been at your six."

She nodded at that, their connection helping her to understand how he felt. "I know, I get it. It... It was possibly one of my more reckless moves but I had something that I _had_ to do."

"Blue, I'm here now. So please, talk to me. Just like you used to."

She understood exactly what he meant. Whenever either of them had had a problem, they had turned to the other. She couldn't deny that she had missed that over the past three years. "I may have... Given Cee the genetic resequencing codes for her and Damien," She admitted sheepishly.

"Why are you expecting me to disagree?" He asked, causing her to frown a little, her sub-harmonics trilling with the uncertainty that he could feel coming from her.

"Because... I don't know. Everyone's been arguing about whether or not the hybrids are 'ethical' and I just went ahead and ignored them all."

"Blue, I think we can safely say that your opinion is the only one with any weight in this."

She gave him an incredulous look at that, her sub-harmonics trilling with disbelieving humour. "You know how ridiculous that sounds, right?"

At that he shifted closer to her, lowering his forehead to hers. "You made the right choice, ani," He muttered, the contact of their plates only enhancing their newly-formed connection, allowing him to share his reasoning using her own expert knowledge of xeno-biology.

Finding your bondmate triggered the same behaviours and instincts that hitting the matron stage did for asari. Of course, some turians ignored them, but the feeling of wanting to settle down and start a family were persistent, only increasing with age. Cee was a few years older than Sarah, and she'd always wanted children of her own. As far as Tiberius was concerned, Sarah had done the right thing for her friend. He figured that it would be difficult for anyone to argue against that.

"Some people will still try," She pointed out.

He couldn't help but agree as the memory of the ass of a doctor who had insulted her the day before filled both of their minds. "Yeah, well, screw 'em."

She laughed a little at that, shaking her head a little.,"I think my attitude has rubbed off on you," She joked, before taking a deep breath as her features took on a more serious look. "But... Maybe I _shouldn't _be making these decisions. Maybe it's _too_ personal."

"You think that you only helped her because she's your friend?" He asked, following her train of thought. "Blue, we both know that you'd have helped her no matter who she was."

She sighed in response. "It's not just that, Red. I'm... I'm the first of my kind. Is it so bad that I don't want to be the last?" She asked him, honestly searching for an answer, so that he could see the internal struggle she'd been faced with ever since she'd started her work. It had never really been a question of what would happen if she didn't succeed; it was a question of what would happen if she _did_. She had struggled to find her place in the galaxy, and was still struggling; though having him there did make her burden easier to bear.

"No. It's completely understandable," He told her. She smiled, her sub-harmonics trilling with the gratitude that she was sending him through their bond. "I don't know if I'll ever get used to this..."

"Sorry... I should have probably asked before I tried to make the connection..." She stammered a little.

He shook his head at her jumping to apologize, just like always, smiling at her. "No, I mean it in a good way. This feels normal. Right."

She raised a browplate at that. "The semi-telepathic connection to your hybrid bondmate seems _normal_ to you?"

"Weirdly, yeah."

"Yeah... Me too..."

* * *

**AN - Additional: Is it weirdly perfect that this fell on Chapter Seventeen, just like in SYA? ^^**


	18. Chapter Eighteen - Nightmares

**AN: Another chapter now that exams are out of the way. Yay!**

**Thanks to everyone who has favourited, followed and double thanks to everyone who has reviewed.**

**Special thanks goes to my beta Spyke1985! You're the best!**

**Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen - Nightmares**

Sarah sighed, taking her glasses off to rub her tired eyes, as she leant back in her desk chair, surveying her small office. There was no two ways around it; the place was a mess. In her defense, it was her only living space and she'd never before had to worry about anyone but Nat seeing the barely organised chaos.

However, slowly over the past week, it had also become Tiberius's space as well - mostly because there was _just_ enough space for everyone to stay in the Alliance facility during lockdown. Not that she minded - quite the opposite, in fact, she was more than happy to spend as much time with him as possible - but it was bringing to light some of the bad habits she had acquired over three years of being a workaholic loner.

She frowned a little as her mind drifted to her love, bringing a rather alarming realisation to the forefront of her mind.

She couldn't sense him.

For the first time in over a week, she had absolutely no sense of him. She had never expected that their bond would be as strong as it was, although it still wasn't anything more than a vague sense when they weren't close, but now the absence was more than a little alarming to her.

She quickly got up from her desk and headed out of the office, careful not to seem too panicked, well aware that there was probably a reasonable explanation for his apparent disappearance. She would readily admit that she had very little knowledge of how her 'ability' worked. As far as she knew, the problem could very probably be on her end.

Her thoughts immediately stopped in their tracks as she opened her office door, only to find that she was no longer in the Alliance facility, but, rather, a crowded nightclub. She would have been confused if she wasn't being overwhelmed by an all-too-familiar panic.

"_That's her!_"

"_The freak!_"

"_Get her!_"

She suddenly found herself completely helpless as angry hands grasped at her from every direction, tearing both cloth and flesh in a desperate attempt to get her.

In her terror, she became frozen, unable to fight her way out or activate her biotics.

"_Blue?_"

She spun around, trying to find the source of the faint voice in the depths of harsh screams. However, her search was cut short as two strong arms wrapped around her. She turned to find that they belonged to her bondmate, the sight of him silencing everything else around them.

"_Hey, it's okay. I'm here. I've got you,_" He murmured softly as he moved his hand gently to her cheek.

She nodded in response as the world faded around them.

* * *

Tiberius hated guard duty.

Cerberus had been quiet since their last attack. It had seemed to be more of an opportunist attempt than anything else so, with no one leaving the facility, they hadn't attacked again.

He had mostly been spending his time with Tia and Philip trying to figure out where their base of operations was on Earth. But all three of them had been volunteered to help out with general security.

Which meant hours on his own.

When they said that you're not supposed to separate bondmates, they weren't kidding, he thought as he began to feel himself become agitated. He let a small growl of impatience slip, wishing that his body would simply settle down already. But he knew that wasn't likely. At least, not anytime soon.

"What's bothering you?" Philip asked as he snuck up behind the turian..

Tiberius shook his head. "Nothing. Just... Tired."

"Ah. So, after three years your body is finally rediscovering sleep?"

"Something like that," He replied as Philip sat next to him.

"So, where's Sarah? Or Azula or whatever. You know what? Fuck it. I'm just gonna call her Rookie."

Tiberius simply shook his head before replying. "She's sleeping."

"So, you're not sleeping as well _because_..." He trailed off, causing Tiberius to sigh in response.

"Because I'm on guard duty," He said, as if it were obvious, but Philip simply rolled his eyes in response.

"We both know that me or Tia would cover for you. So, what's the real reason?"

He looked a little sheepish at that. "It's erm... Overwhelming. Having her back after three years, I mean."

"Overwhelming? How?"

"Just... There's a reason why bondmates never separate for more than a few months at a time."

Philip just frowned at that. "That sounds like a reason why you'd be spending _more_ time with her, not less."

Tiberius sighed, trying to figure out how to explain it. "Exactly. Just... I don't know how badly she's feeling the effects and if she's not as bad... I don't want to be too clingy, you know?"

"No. I don't. Smiley, it doesn't matter whether or not she's having as strong a... biological response as you. You were the first _real_ friend she made outside of her family since Harry. She's missed you, bondmates or no, and she's going to want to spend as much time with you as possible."

Tiberius gave his friend a quizzical look. "There's no way you pieced this together yourself."

Philip just shrugged. "Tia's been worried about both of you," He reasoned. "Look, I won't pretend to know anything about this bondmate thing but Tia says that you're both going to be hit by three years of... 'nesting instincts', I think she said. I don't know. I tuned out after she started babbling about the evolution of social behaviours in different species. All I remember is that it has something to do with why you guys are shit at lying. Well, apart from you. You seem to be the exception to the rule. Anyway, she's worried about you guys. She says that separating for so long has probably fucked you both up more than a little."

Tiberius scowled a little at that. "I'm not _good_ at lying."

Philip help his hands up at the offended tone in his friend's voice. "Woah! Chill out. I didn't mean anything by it. Just, you can't tell what you're thinking unless you say it. Most turians tend to wear their heart on their sleeves a bit more."

"Sorry. Just... Lying is considered a bit of a negative skill by turians."

"Yeah, humans too. Just, not as much, I'm guessing?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

Philip nodded before frowning a little, returning to the original topic of conversation. "You know that she'd understand, right? In fact, she's probably wondering why you're not spending more time with her."

"I know. But she knows as well. Neither of us are particularly good at relying on other people. I'm trying to spend time away from her to prove that I can."

Philip frowned a little at that.

"What?" Tiberius asked.

"Nothing... Just reminds me of something Rookie said a little while back about... Something else."

Tiberius narrowed his eyes, knowing that his friend was skirting around something, before simply sighing. "I know she's hiding something," He admitted, his voice low. "She's told me as much herself. But then, if she wasn't, she wouldn't be Sarah."

Philip looked a little conflicted, as if unsure of whether or not he should say anything. "I think she just doesn't want to worry you," He finally settled on saying, prompting his friend to nod.

"I know. Philip, this is Sarah we're talking about. She's easier to read than an open book at times."

"So then, why are you still so unsure about her?"

Tiberius simply sighed at that. "Because we've been separated for three years. The... _issues_ that caused aren't just going to go away. But, you're right. I think I'll-"

Philip frowned as his friend suddenly froze, his head whipping around. "Smiley, what is it?"

Tiberius stood up at that, making his way towards Sarah's office. "I, erm... Nothing."

Philip frowned as he watched his friend practically run out of the room.

"Well, that was weird..." Tia said as she appeared out of thin air next to him.

"_Jesus_, Tia!" Philip exclaimed. "Remember that conversation we had about boundaries? This counts."

She folded her arms at that. "Spoilsport."

"Seriously, Tia. It's not cool to spy on people when they're having private conversations. In fact, if there are no enemies around, just assume that you shouldn't be using your tactical cloak."

She shot hit a cheeky grin at that. "_Really_? Because I don't remember there being any enemies around last night..."

He groaned a little at that. "Seriously, why were you spying on us? I doubt you were simply curious about what guys talk about."

"I'm worried about those two," She reasoned before frowning. "But, here's a question: what made him run off so suddenly?"

"No idea. Probably just remembered that his girlfriend is nearby and available for sex."

"Bondmate," She corrected.

"What's the difference?"

"Bondmate is actually more like 'wife'."

Philip just rolled his eyes at that, shaking his head. "Fucking turians, man. You know what? I give up. I am done trying to understand those two and their weird relationship..."

* * *

Tiberius followed the feeling of terror to Sarah's office, opening the door to find her thrashing in her cot, her biotics sending datapads flying across the room. He quickly made his way over to her, ignoring the sting of blue energy. She seemed to be expelling the energy at random, the lack of focus making it less powerful than when she used them in battle.

He trilled reassurance through his subharmonics, hoping that it would be enough to calm her down, but she only seemed to settle mildly, still tossing and turning. At that, he instead focused on their telepathic link, hoping to reach her without her waking violently. He knew first hand that she had a tendency to throw punches when thrown off guard.

He still wasn't used to the telepathic link, especially since Sarah was the one with the ability, not him. It didn't feel as strange to him as he thought it would, but he still had no idea what he was doing.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm here. I've got you," He said aloud, hoping to convey the sentiment behind the words to her through their bond as he gently stroked her cheek.

After a few moments she settled down, becoming still, although she kept frowning, a tear falling from her scrunched up eyes. Before he could figure out how to respond, she shot up, into his arms, gasping for breath.

"Red?" She finally managed.

He let his subharmonics trill with affirmation. "I'm here."

She nodded before pulling away, wiping her eyes. "Damn it," She muttered before glaring at him. "I wasn't crying."

"I never said that you were," He told her, although he let his subharmonics trill with humour.

She growled back at him. "I _wasn't_! Human eyes water all the time. Why did I end up with all the go se human genes..."

He quirked his browplate at that, detecting more venom behind her words than she had meant. _Something_ was definitely bothering her. Something she wasn't telling him. So, he simply wrapped his arms around her, catching her off-guard. He could feel her momentary uncertainty before she hugged him back, her subharmonics trilling with thanks.

"I really need to get a translator upgrade. I can't understand half of the profanity you use... And I know you weren't crying," He lied, causing her to snort a little.

"No, you knew I was and now you're just trying to placate me. I just... It's easier to be angry," She admitted. "But it's not as if I can be angry at my dreams..."

He frowned a little as he realised exactly who her anger was directed at. "You can't be angry with yourself, either."

She shook her head at that, pulling away from him. She avoided his gaze as she quickly changed out of her shorts and into some jeans, leaving her vest, but her subharmonics sent him a very clear signal.

_Just watch me_.

"I've gotta go," She said, kissing him lightly on the side of his mandible before quickly grabbing her brush, pulling her fringe down over her plates.

"_Blue_..." He started but she cut him off.

"_Red_. We'll talk about it later, okay? I promise. I just... There are a couple of things I've been putting off for the past week and I think the stress was what caused the nightmare."

He folded his arms at that. "Would these things happen to be incredibly dangerous?"

She gave him a sheepish shrug. "Not exactly. Not in the short-run, at least. More like... Risky. But don't worry, I know what I'm doing."

He sighed at that. "Any plans of actually telling me what you're doing?"

She shook her head as she headed out of the room. "No. Sorry. No time. I promise I'll tell you later, okay?"

She headed out of earshot before he could reply.

* * *

Sarah tried to not feel guilty about running out on Red as she made herself some coffee but she couldn't help it.

She _was_ angry with herself. She couldn't not be. She wasn't necessarily with _herself_, per se, but she was finding her flaws even more infuriating than normal. Now she had a future to live for, but a very good reason why she might not get to.

She was determined to move on and simply live her life, however long she may have left of it, but it was difficult at that moment. She would occasionally find herself daydreaming of the future, only to be brought crashing back to reality. It wasn't exactly a pleasant feeling. But she was determined to get over it. If there was one thing she could do, it was push through the crap.

And, even if she couldn't do it for herself, she would pull herself together for him. He had enough of his own crap to deal with without having to deal with hers as well.

"If you're making coffee, I could use a cup."

Sarah jumped at the sound of Nat's voice behind her, pulling her from her thoughts. "Right," She replied, distractedly. "I, erm, was actually going to come and speak with you. There are a few things I need to bring you in on."

"Like why you're friends with three C-Sec officers, despite having never mentioned living on the Citadel? And the fact that you have a bondmate? A bondmate who was _very_ quick to defend the Original Hybrid last week." She gave Sarah a pointed look that the younger woman couldn't help but squirm under.

"Mierda..." She settled for saying, causing Nat to shake her head as she rolled her eyes.

"Once I figured it out, it was kind of obvious."

"Yeah, yeah. I can't keep secrets, I get it."

Nat moved closer to her at that, concern clear on her face. "It does explain some things. Why you're so reluctant to take action against the Cerberus hybrids; why you were so determined to help Cee; why you were so upset when we ran the projections of how long Sarah would have lived, had Cerberus not killed her..."

Sarah looked away at that. She didn't want Nat to pity her but she was sure that if she looked up, pity would be all that she would see

Nat didn't say anything more. She simply passed Sarah a datapad. The younger woman gave her a confused look, to which she simply replied with a reassuring smile.

"This is just some preliminary work. I can't promise anything but... It looks good."

Sarah didn't bother to hide her disbelief at just how positive the data looked.

"I'm surprised you haven't done this yourself. It took me all week but I can't imagine a better reason for a week off from our other work."

Sarah gave a sheepish shrug at that. "I've been busy..."

Nat rolled her eyes once more. "You're terrible at looking after yourself. You're too busy worrying about others. So, how about _you_ worry about the Cerberus hybrids and _I_ worry about _you_?"

Sarah gave her a grateful smile. "Sounds fair but... Do you really think it's possible to get something useful within a year?"

Nat sighed. "I don't know. But it's not impossible, so it's already got a leg up on most of the projects you've taken up in the last three years."

"People use the word 'impossible' far too frequently..." Sarah mused, her smile widening.

"Does your bondmate know?" Nat asked softly, halting Sarah's smile.

"That I'm a hybrid? I should hope so. I mean, he's seen me naked enough times. Although he was rather distracted at the time..."

"_Zu_, you know that's not what I meant."

Sarah sighed, folding her arms. "I know... And, no, he doesn't. You saw... One the Corpalis trials, you saw what the bonded were like. I can't do that to him. I won't."

"Zu, you're so busy looking out for everyone else, I worry about who looks out for you."

"Everyone and no one. And, yes, it's as confusing as it sounds but I'm used to it."

"Just because you're used to being alone, doesn't mean that you should be," Nat pointed out, causing Sarah to nod.

"I know. I'm working on it. Promise. But, right now, I have to go and update the Council."

"You mean you haven't already? Zu, it's been a _week_."

"Hey, I'm a scientist, not a politician. Although I somehow doubt that it's going to stay that way..."

* * *

Sarah couldn't help but wonder if her parents had ever gotten a 'stunned silence' out of the Council. She made a note to ask them at some point as she regarded the holograms in front of her, waiting for them to say something. She wasn't all that surprised when it was the human councillor who spoke up first.

"Dr Mizuiro-"

"Councillor, there's no need for pretense, please. It's Shepard-Vakarian." She decided it was probably a good idea to remind them of why her opinion was 'the only one with any weight in this', as Red had said. But, then again, he wasn't a politician either.

"Dr Shepard-Vakarian," He corrected, reminding Sarah why she missed his predecessor so much. She, at least, had been understanding towards Sarah's cause, if not enough to take any action. "Are you trying to tell us that you intend to give this information to anyone who wants it?"

"Actually, I'm trying to tell you that I already have. And that I plan to again. If people want this, I don't think that it's within our rights to withhold it." She was careful to not let anger mar her words, instead trying to convey the emotion behind her words. But the councillors weren't ones to be swayed by such things.

"If this information gets out, what's to stop organisations like Cerberus from using it?" The human Councillor continued.

"Why would they? They're using the idea of a 'cure' to ensure the loyalty of the hybrids. If there was no need for one, why would the hybrids continue to do their bidding?"

The human councillor simply shook his head at that. "Do you really believe that? If you do, then you're more naive than I thought."

The turian councillor nodded in agreement. "It is a security threat, Doctor."

Sarah had to stop herself from rolling her eyes at that. Of course, this would be the one thing that they would both agree on. "As I've said, it's a moot point. It's already done. And, as I'm sure Executor Vakarian has told you, the team here is working to locate the Cerberus presence on Earth. I have every confidence that the threat they pose will be dealt with soon. I'm sure that some of you would wish the hybrid issue to be put to rest at that point however, and I'm sorry to have to tell you this but, as long as I'm still standing, it's still an issue. I don't plan on staying hidden away for your convenience once this direct threat is over."

The asari councillor stepped in, giving her a reassuring smile that, really, had little warmth to it. "Doctor, I have complete sympathy with your cause, however you must understand the position we are in."

Sarah once more found herself putting effort into not getting angry with the Council. She knew that the asari and human councillors in particular had a tendency to view her as little more than a child. Her Aunt Bakara had once told her that it was not age that made someone wise, it was experience and pain. Sarah figured that she had enough of both to last three lifetimes.

"No offence, councillor, but you don't. It doesn't matter if the love of your life is turian, human or even hanar, you will never be faced with an inability to have children. So, I don't believe that you _can_ understand. You're too busy looking at the big picture to see the little ones..."

The quarian councillor was the next to step forward, for which Sarah was grateful. Despite the fact that she was half-human and half-turian, the quarian and krogan councillors had been her greatest supporters by far on the Council. Perhaps the greatest indicator that that would have been the case should have been that she was not recognised as either a citizen of the Human Alliance or Turian Hierarchy and, yet, was recognised as both an honorary krogan and quarian. It certainly did nothing to help her identity issues...

"Well, I, for one, understand perfectly. And, I have to say, I would actually be grateful for a better look at her data and I have no issue with her sharing it with others in a similar position."

At that, Sarah's eyes drifted down to the human wedding ring on the quarian's finger, surprising her a little. She couldn't help but give a warm smile. "The data needs to be adapted for each case but if you send me the genetic codes for you and your husband, I'd be more than happy to take a look."

"I think I'll take you up on that."

Sarah tried her hardest not to laugh at the outraged look on the turian councillor's face coupled with the way the human councillor was gritting his teeth.

"Please, can we remain objective here?" The asari councillor interjected, before turning to her salarian counterpart. "What do you think, Daelon?"

"I agree that we should not remain ignorant of the hybrids but I also think that creating more hybrids at this juncture is a bad idea."

Sarah once more prevented herself from rolling her eyes. How could the Council be so opposed to taking action? Although, if her parents' stories were to be believed, this wasn't new behaviour.

"I disagree." This time, it was the krogan councillor who stepped forward. "The Blood Born is correct. Anyone can see that the hybrids are not inherently evil. Cerberus has simply been twisting their minds, as they have tried to do with many others over the years."

Sarah once more had to stifle a smile as both the turian and human councillors seemed to be fuming. She wondered why they were so opposed to the idea of the hybrids. Maybe they were just scared of change.

_Idiots_.

"Well, you have the data now and you know my argument. I'm going to continue working against Cerberus, you have my word on that, but I refuse to keep his information from people who want it. Unfortunately, I'm just not that heartless..."

She shut off the connection at that. She knew that the majority was not on her side, but she hoped that would change with time. She wouldn't claim to know the first thing about politics but she supposed that she would have to learn. It was damn clear that if the hybrids were to have any chance, someone would have to speak up for them.

And she was fairly certain that job would fall to her...

* * *

To say that Sarah had found the meeting with the council tiring, would be an understatement. She knew that she would simply have to get used to it, but it didn't make the politics any easier.

Before she knew it, she had headed straight towards the security offices. She wanted Red nearby and, for once, she wasn't going to try and deny it.

"Fuck Rookie, what attacked you?"

She turned to see Philip leaning against the wall of the corridor, regarding the various plasters on her inner arms and the back of her hands. "I brought Nat in on the whole 'I'm a hybrid' thing and she took some blood for... Well, you know. Turns out it's kind of hard to get blood from a hybrid that's terrified of needles."

He raised his eyebrow at that. "_You're_ scared of needles?"

"Shut up..." She muttered, shaking her head. "I just don't like sharp and pointy, okay?"

"But you're dating a turian."

"Yeah, last time I checked, Red wasn't covered in needles."

"No, but he's... Well, turians are kind of _pointy_."

Sarah failed to hold back a laugh at that. "I still can't believe you haven't caused a diplomatic incident..."

"Hey, there's still time," He joked back before his expression became decidedly more sober. "Why haven't you told Smiley?"

She shifted guiltily as she realised what he meant. "I just... I can't. You've seen how happy he is. How happy we both are. I can't ruin that. I won't."

He frowned at her. "Don't you think he deserves to know?"

She shrugged. "He _deserves_ to have a normal bondmate who can live out the rest of his days with him and give him a family. I'm making the best of a really shitty situation."

He sighed at that. "Rookie, what are your chances of figuring out a cure? No bullshitting."

She gave it a moment of thought before responding. "I don't know. It looks good, especially with Nat helping, but I can't make any promises," She admitted.

"And what about when you get worse? I found your data and I understood enough to get the gist. You have six months before you start to show symptoms and twelve before the damage become irreversible. In eighteen..." He trailed off but she nodded in understanding.

"In eighteen, none of this will matter anyway. Look, I'll blow up that bridge and cover the bodies in lime when we get to it. For now, it's not a problem. Just... We both need normal right now, you know?"

He sighed. "I just don't think you should keep secrets."

"I agree with you there. Trust me, I'm tired of it."

He nodded. "I understand why you're not telling him just... Talk to Tia about it, at least? I'm know I'm no good at this shit and I'd hate to think that you're shouldering this all by yourself."

She shook her head at that. "No... I don't want to tell everyone but Red. That's not fair to him."

He frowned at her. "But you told me."

She shrugged. "Yeah but that was back when I had every intention of telling him," She reasoned, causing him to sigh.

"You know that this is going to bite you in the ass, right?"

She nodded. "Yeah. I know," She said as he gave her a sympathetic look.

"Alright then. Just as long as you know what you're getting yourself into..."

Sarah gave him a weak smile as Tia and Tiberius approached.

"Hey," He said as he moved to stand next to her, clearly uncertain about how he should be acting in public.

Sarah decided to halt his uncertainty by taking a hold of his hand, leaning against him a little. Reminding herself that she had something solid and real to fight for as she battled her tiredness.

"Hey," She replied. "Can we talk?"

"Yeah. Of course."

At that, she lead him back to her office before shutting the door. He sat down next to her on her cot as she rested her head on the cowl of his armour, ignoring the uncomfortable jab of metal to her cheek.

"Blue?" He asked.

She mumbled a little in reply, causing his sub-harmonics to trill back with question. "Give me a minute. I'm comfy," She repeated, more clearly.

He rolled his eyes before wrapping his arm around her side. "I don't see how you can be. Isn't my armour hurting you?"

"Yeah, but I really do need to talk with you. I figured getting you naked would only distract me."

"You know, I _do_ own civies."

"I know, but they're just as distracting. At least with your armour, my laziness counterbalances my libido."

"Really? Maybe I should start wearing less armour..." He joked, causing her to grin at him. He grinned back, to which she tilted her head a little, her adoring eyes seemingly tracing his features. "What?" He asked, feeling a little self-conscious.

"Nothing. Just... You smile more now. It's... Odd. But nice. I like it when you smile. You only do it when you mean it... Okay, I'll just... Stop talking now..." She trailed off, sheepishly, her face flushing a light purple, causing his smile to widen further.

"I blame all of this extra smiling on you, you know. You're messing up my brooding, dangerous vibe."

"Yeah, Philip mentioned something about you being known as the Demon of C-Sec," She teased but his gaze quickly shifted to the floor. "What? What is it?"

"What exactly do you know about what happened when... When you left?" He asked, hesitantly.

"Philip told me about the time he and Tia had to lock you in your apartment."

"Did he tell you why?"

"He said that... Well, that you were drinking a lot..." She trailed off but he simply sighed, shaking his head.

"I should have known Philip would have told you the official story..."

She frowned at that. "The 'official story'? So, what really happened was _worse_?"

"I wasn't drunk that night. I was... Concussed."

Sarah's browplates flew up at that. "Tell me what happened." She kept her voice as soft as possible, wanting to be there for him as much as he had been for her.

"I, erm... Well, I wasn't working at the time."

Sarah nodded. "Philip said that Aunt Sol had given you some time off."

"More like I was suspended... I took kind of a 'shoot first, ask questions later' attitude to my work. I would pick fights whenever I saw the opportunity and I was harsher towards everyone... Eventually the executor told me to take some time to get my head on straight again. I simply looked for fights elsewhere... Tia and Philip covered for me, making sure I could never be held accountable or arrested but... I think I scared them. Tia, especially. And then when I got _really_ hurt... I guess it was the wake-up call I needed."

Sarah was a little stunned at his revelations, although it did make much more sense to her than Philip's story had. "I'm so sorry," She managed to whisper, causing him to shake his head at her.

"It's not your fault, Blue. I've built up a lot of anger over the years, it was bound to come back and bite me eventually. I just... I don't know. It was years ago, now. Something I'd just rather put behind me. I just thought that you should know... Because, this morning, when I said that you can't be angry with yourself, I meant it. Just because your rage isn't directed at other people, doesn't mean that it can't still do harm."

She looked away at that, guiltily. "I, erm... I spoke to the Council today."

He shifted to sit upright at that, allowing the change of subject. "What did they say?"

"The usual bull. I was right about them not being happy about the idea of more hybrids but I don't think they plan on killing me or anything. At least, not yet." Her joke had little humour to it.

"You're not going to back down." It wasn't a question, merely an observation, but she shook her head anyway.

"No, I'm not. It's just..." She trailed off before activating her omni-tool, bringing up an extranet page. "Here, look at this. These are all people who are involved with someone of a different species. I'm wondering who speaks for them. I know that the quarian councillor has a human husband but... The general opinion on hybrids is still negative, thanks to Cerberus. But I think that I can change that."

He simply regarded her for a few moments before sighing, tugging on her wrist so that she sat back next to him before he pulled her up so that she was straddling his waist. He rested one hand on the side of her hip, the other tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as he tried to figure out how to word his response. "So, how are we going to do this?"

She cocked her head to the side a little at that. "That's it? No objections about how dangerous this is going to be or anything?"

He sighed, his hand softly tracing her jaw. "No. Blue, I've seen you charge a krogan before, remember? I may forget at times, but I know that you can handle yourself. So, I'm here if you need me, but I'm not going to get all 'overprotective bondmate' on you. I know what it's like to have someone worry about you and to feel restricted by that... I don't want you to worry about worrying me."

She pressed her fringe plates to his at that, letting her subharmonics chime with the gratitude that was radiating from her.

"Even if it means that you have to keep secrets from me," He added softly, causing her breath to catch in her throat as her eyes scanned his own, looking for a hint of doubt.

"I was planning on telling you, actually. I kind of got guilted into it and... I don't want to break this. Whatever we've managed to salvage and build upon. I don't want to be the reason it fails."

"Blue, I understand why you're keeping it from me. So, if you don't want to face it, I won't force you. Sometimes hiding from something is the only option we have..."

"What about bravely facing it head-on?"

"Sometimes that does more damage than good..."

"You really don't mind if I don't tell you?"

"Blue, I promise, it's okay."

Something about his words sounded familiar, ringing alarm bells in her mind. When had she heard him say something similar?

"Now, what _are_ your thoughts on the hybrid PR issue?"

She pulled herself from her thoughts, frowning a little at his words as she thought it over. She ran her nails lightly over the sensitive spot beneath his fringe, just to keep her hands busy, causing him to shudder a little next to her as she grinned a little. "I guess it's an issue of perspective. I know that the hybrids are a bit of a media shit-storm but... Some people are horrified by them. By _me_, even, not just the Cerberus ones. And I just don't get it. I mean, clearly I'm not horrified by myself but even the Cerberus Hybrids... I know how _others_ see them but I can't feel anything but pity for them. I know that I'm just lacking an outside perspective so I'm wondering how you see me. Am I a turian with more soft bits or a human with less?"

He shook his head as he let his subharmonics trill with amusement, lowering his forehead to hers once more. "Neither. You're just... _you_. Unique and different but familiar and home at the same time. And I love all of you. Even your hair."

She raised a browplate at that. "My hair?"

"Yeah. Hair is _weird_. I mean, there's no way this much of it can fit on your head," He commented.

She let her subharmonics trill with amusement as she smiled at him. "Mine's just really thick."

"I always thought it was strange. Plus, you had even more of it than most human women, back at C-Sec."

"Turians may not have the genes for hair but you produce proteins faster. My hair grows twice as fast as a human and I'm too lazy to deal with it too often."

"Well, as much as hair is weird... I think I miss it now. Although, I definitely like the new colour," He admitted.

She couldn't help but blush in response. "I like it too," She told him, a little shyly, shifting a little as he attempted to lean back, with no real place to move. "We really need a better place to sleep. This cot is small enough when it's just me..." She mused.

"You know, I might just have to agree with you on that," He said as she grinned at him, her fingers lightly tracing between the clasps of his armour. She had grown tired of sitting on the uncomfortably bulky metal.

"I think I might grow my hair back out," She commented, causing him to nod in agreement.

"You should. But keep the colour."

"I plan on it. I might also grow my fringe out..." She trailed off.

He sat up a little at that, keeping her on his lap as he felt her uncertainty through their bond that she was deliberately keeping open. "Everyone would be able to see your plates." He knew that she already knew that but he also knew that she would need some prompting before continuing.

"I'm tired of hiding," She admitted softly. "Plus, it's not as if I'm not identifiable now, anyway. Huge, disfiguring scars tend to be noticeable. And... If we pull this off and can cure the Cerberus hybrids... I can't stay hidden in the shadows anymore. It's not normal. I need to be visible to fight for the hybrids. Plus... I never really admitted this to anyone but... I _want_ a normal life. I never thought I could have one but... Maybe I just have to earn one."

"Do either of us even know what 'normal' is?"

She shrugged, smiling a little. "I don't know. What would you say is normal?"

"_This_. Being here with you. It's both normal and perfect."

She blushed a little at that. "Who knew under all that cynicism was a romantic?"

"Hypocrite," He murmured as he leant forward and began lightly nipping her neck, earning him a tone of surprise followed by one of pleasure from her sub-harmonics. "So, what would this 'normal' life be like?"

"I don't know... I guess that's part of the appeal. I can't say that I'd particularly want to go back to living on ships. Or on the Citadel. And I'm not a huge fan of Earth, either."

"Really?"

"I may have gotten over my bad memories but I still have them... I think I'd want to live somewhere remote." She felt a wave of nostalgia come from him at that and she let her subharmonics trill with question.

"I think I know just the place," He told her, causing her browplate to quirk up at him as he paused his actions at her neck, instead moving his hand to her waist. "There's a little colony not too far from Palaven. All beaches and it's warm all year around."

"Sounds like paradise."

"Yeah... It kind of is..."

She frowned a little as she felt him shutting down thoughts before she could sense them. "How are you-"

He cut her off by moving his hand to her breast, causing her breath to hitch in her throat. "I think that I should be allowed _some_ secrets. Don't you?"

She shook her head a little but couldn't hold back a moan as she felt her nipples harden beneath her bra. A single week of almost constant, mind blowing sex wasn't enough to satisfy three years of wanting, she had quickly discovered.

"You make a very persuasive argument..." She managed as she squirmed a little in his lap, quickly finishing the job of removing all of the armour that she could reach, leaving him in just his undersuit, his boots and the armour just above them.

"You know how annoying these are, right?" He asked as he tugged at her vest, referring to her insistence on wearing tight jeans that he always struggled to remove.

She helped him pull the offending piece of clothing off, kicking them over to the other side of the room before sitting back on his lap. "Yeah, being the only one of your kind doesn't leave you with a lot of clothing options. Speaking of, you have to stop ripping my clothes when you get impatient. I'll run out soon."

"You're one to talk. Plus, I don't hear you objecting all too often."

She simply shrugged at that. "What can I say? It _is_ pretty hot. Just inconvenient."

He simply responded by lowering his mouth to her breast, circling her nipple with his rough tongue, drawing a soft moan from her as she moved her own hands to begin teasing the soft spot beneath his fringe. After a few moments, he lifted his head back up to rest his forehead on hers again, causing her subharmonics to trill with question.

"So, what else would this perfect future contain?"

She gave him a weak smile at that, avoiding his gaze. "Red... What's the point of speculating about the future? Especially when everything's so crazy and uncertain right now..."

"All the more reason to have something to look forward to." At that, he moved his hands to her waist, causing her to moan, biting her lip a little.

"Hmm... You don't play fair..." She murmured ruefully before smiling, rolling her eyes a little. "Alright, we'll play it your way... Erm... Okay, I'm out of ideas..." She gave a half hearted shrug, smiling a little as she moved her lips to his neck, running her tongue lightly across his bondmark.

"What about a house to live in? A big one," He managed, despite her insistent touch. He felt her smile widen a little as she finally got into his little game.

"Just not too big. I grew up on ships, I'm not used to big, open spaces. Just big enough for us and a couple of k-," He felt her stiffen as she caught herself, mid-sentence, "-Cats," She finished, unconvincingly.

"Cats?"

"Yeah. Little furry mammals that humans keep as pets."

He rolled his eyes a little at her obvious attempt to hide whatever she had been about to say. "I know what a cat is, Blue. I've never _seen_ one, but I know what it is." She dropped her gaze at that, prompting him to move his palm to her cheek in comfort. "You weren't going to say 'cats', were you?"

"Of course I was," She lied. She was well aware of the fact that he knew she was lying, but she kept going. "I like cats. They're less needy than dog or varen and-"

"Blue..."

She sighed a little, finally facing him. "Do you really want to have this conversation now, Red? It was a slip of the tongue, nothing more. I honestly don't even know where that came from. Like I said, it's pointless to worry about the future. We've got bigger problems right now. Too much fighting left to see the end of it."

He frowned a little at that. "Opinions towards the hybrids are worse than you let on, aren't they?"

"Not worse just... I have to finish my work here before we even get onto that. I just can't think that far ahead. I _need_ to stay in the present." He didn't need the strange new connection between them to know that she needed him to agree to this. She needed to stay grounded in the here and now, where she was finally happy, if a little daunted by the tasks ahead of them.

"I understand, ani."

She gave him a grateful smile at that before nuzzling into his neck. "And I can think of something in particular I want, right _here and now_," She murmured into his collar, causing him to grin a little as he pulled her closer.

"You're insatiable."

"I'm sorry, was that a _complaint_?"

"Merely an observation," He replied, a little hurriedly, before stopping, causing her to pull away a little so that she could catch his questioning gaze. "You know that... Well that..." He frowned a little at his loss for words before simply conveying through their bond what he meant.

_He was there for her if she needed him_.

"I know," She told him, nodding. "But right now I don't need to talk or worry about things. Right now, I need you to help me forget, well, everything."

"Oh, I think I can _definitely_ do that..." His voice was low, suggestion filling his subharmonics as he moved his hands down to her arse, pulling her towards him once more.

"You ever going to make good on all this talk?"

"_Definitely_..."


	19. Chapter Nineteen - The Truth

**AN: Hurried upload between lectures!**

**Thanks to everyone who has favourited, followed and double thanks to everyone who has reviewed.**

**Special thanks goes to my beta Spyke1985! You're the best!**

**Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Nineteen - The Truth**

Tiberius was awoken by a bright light at the far end of the room, causing him to groan. He was sure that it was far too early to be up. After allowing his eyes to adjust, the light finally registered as the terminal at the other end of the room, making him groan once more as he sat up, glaring a little at the woman behind it, curled up in her blanket as she worked.

He sighed, pulling himself up, out of bed. "Can't sleep again?"

She shook her head, her gaze fixed firmly on the screen in front of her. "Headache," She explained. "Plus, I had an idea, so I figured I might as well work. Sorry if I woke you."

He moved over to her, resting his hands on her shoulders as she worked. "I can't believe I fell in love with an insomniac..." He murmured, earning him a smile. "Come on, Blue, you need your sleep."

"No, hang on, I just have to finish this one thing..."

He rolled his eyes. How many times had he had to pull her away from her work when they were working at C-Sec? Probably about as many times as she had to pull him from his, he figured. It, apparently, was a habit neither of them had dropped, although he now had a new tactic in distracting her from her work.

"Come on, Blue," He murmured in her ear before lightly nipping down her neck, not missing the way she pressed her thighs together when she squirmed, trying to not let her mind get distracted as he moved his hands down to her waist, stroking lightly, pulling a light gasp from her lips.

She frowned, shaking her head a little. "No, just five more minutes..."

"We both know that when you _say_ five minutes, you mean another hour," He reasoned, moving his hand down lower.

"No, just, if I lose this halfway through, I'll forget where I was," She told him, pushing him away from her as she kept her gaze firmly on her work. She gave a grim smile of satisfaction as he left her alone after that, although she worked as quickly as she could, hoping that he wouldn't just fall asleep in the interim. Although, if he did, she would just wake him up again. She figured it would be the least he deserved.

Finally, she finished her work. "Okay, so maybe ten minutes. But, still..." She trailed off as she turned to face him, only to see that he was stuck in place with a stasis field. "Wait... Shit, did _I_ do that?"

"Yes, and I would be thankful if you would let me out, please."

She frowned a little. "How is it lasting this long...?"

He sighed. "I really have no idea. Again, can you get me out?"

She shrugged. "Not really. I always just let it wear off. Like I said, it normally doesn't last this long. But then again, in the past I would have already worn down my biotics in battle. I guess not using them might cause a bit of a build-up... Can you move?"

"A little. It seems to just be pinning my limbs in place at key points. I can still talk, obviously."

She put her hands on her hips as she stepped closer to him. "Well, I guess this is what you get when you try to interrupt my work."

He gave her a disbelieving growl. "Blue, I tried to get you to get some sleep and now I'm trapped here. How is that fair?"

She nodded. "You're right. You deserve much worse for those dirty tactics," She told him, stepping closer to him once more so that her body was flush with his, very glad for his habit of not wearing clothes to bed.

"We both know that it's the only tactic you respond to," He replied as she began to kiss along the sensitive skin of his neck.

"I would argue if you weren't right..." She murmured, her kisses moving down along his cowl, trailing closer and closer to the sensitive skin along his waist.

"_Blue..._" He moaned, his plates shifting.

"Yes?" She asked, softly teasing the sensitive skin with her tongue.

"Keep... Ah, yeah, just..."

She pulled away. "What was that?"

He answered her with a growl. "_Don't stop._"

"I didn't hear a please in there."

His growl deepened as he gave her a disbelieving look. "Seriously?"

She raised an eyebrow, her fingers just brushing the sensitive skin of his waist for only a moment, drawing a deep moan from him.

"Okay, okay, _please_..."

She grinned a little, knowing that this was entirely unfair of her. "That's better," She replied, moving her mouth down to his fully opened plates, coaxing his cock out with as little touch as she could manage, knowing that it was driving him crazy.

"Stop teasing..." He moaned.

She grinned, pulling away from his now fully-erect member. "What was that? You wanted me to stop?"

He growled once more, although this time it had a much more feral edge to it. "_Blue..._"

She took pity on him, knowing that he couldn't manage a more articulate response. She ran her tongue along the underside of his cock, still keeping her movements at a speed that she knew would be tortuously slow. Although she knew that her fun was almost at an end as she saw her stasis field start to flicker. She was half-tempted to initiate another one when it failed completely.

Before she could register what was going on, the world seemed to invert. The next thing she could make sense of was the sound of her own gasp at the familiar feel of Red taking her from behind, his pace fast and unrelenting as she struggled to find purchase, realizing that he had bent her over her desk.

She rapidly found her breath quickening as his cock hit her in just the right spot on every stroke. She was already worked up from the time spent teasing him, it didn't take long for her to reach the precipice of orgasm, the feel of him spilling inside of her acting as the final push over the edge, leaving her gasping for breath.

When she was finally ready for coherent thought, she turned to her bondmate, folding her arms. "See what happens when you try to distract me from my work?"

He grinned at that. "Worth it, " He told her, drawing her into his arms. "So, can we go back to bed now?"

She nodded. "Yeah, yeah..." She inspected the tattered remains of her shorts that he had, apparently, sliced through. "Didn't we already go over you not ripping apart my clothes?"

He shrugged. "If you hadn't been wearing them, it wouldn't have been a problem. I don't understand your need to wear clothes when you sleep."

"Yeah, when Cerberus attacks us in the middle of the night and you're scrambling around for a pair of pants, I'm just going to point and laugh."

He raised a browplate at that. "Yeah, I'd probably just forego pants at that point..."

She shook her head, smiling, as he pulled her down onto the bed.

"Now, for Spirit's sake, _sleep_. We might actually be able to salvage a couple more hours before we have to get up."

"Right. Sleep. Got it. Or, you know, since we're both already up and my pants are already ruined..."

He groaned shaking his head. "You're going to be the death of me..."

* * *

Philip raised his eyebrow at Tia as Tiberius and Sarah entered the security offices, both looking as if they hadn't had enough sleep.

"'Morning, you two," He said, noting how Sarah went straight for the coffee. "Sleep well?"

Sarah groaned, shaking her head. "I'm not a good sleeper," She explained.

Tia frowned. "A holdover from your separation?"

All three of them noticed how she tensed a little; it had always been her give-away when she lied.

"Yeah, must-be..."

"But you're sleeping okay, though?" Philip asked Tiberius, earning him a glare from Sarah, confirming that this was a side-effect of her condition.

"Kind of..." Tiberius replied, earning him a knowing smile from Philip.

Sarah hit him lightly on the arm, in response.

"What?" He asked innocently.

She shook her head. "You know what."

"I thought you'd be in the lab," Tia observed.

Sarah held up her datapad in response. "I can work from here for a while. I spend so much time in the lab; I've barely seen you guys at all in the past month."

"Yeah, we'd almost started to think you were avoiding us," Philip joked, earning him another glare from the hybrid.

"I haven't been avoiding anyone, I've just been busy. In case you haven't noticed, there's kind of a time-restraint on this. Cerberus gets more and more comfortable every day and each of those days, about a dozen of their hybrids die." No one missed the bite in her voice.

Tiberius touched his hand to her arm. "We'll get them, Blue."

She nodded, smiling reassuringly. "I know," She replied before frowning as he rolled his shoulders. "You okay?"

"Yeah, just, new rule; no more biotics..."

"Agreed," She answered.

"Been there," Philip interjected, earning him an eyeroll from the two women in the room.

"You know," Sarah started, turning to Tia. "I've been wondering how those two became friends since they don't exactly have a lot in common but they just spend their time talking about us, don't they?"

The asari nodded. "Yeah, pretty much."

Sarah sighed, her gaze resting on the datapad in Tia's hand. "Got any more info on what Cerberus are up to?"

Tia shook her head. "More of the same. They know that you're all here and they know that you're not moving. We're just trying to figure out exactly where in the city they're holed up but... It doesn't seem centralized in any way. We get a little bit of suspicious activity here and there across the city, but nothing to indicate a base of operations."

"So, no chance of anyone being allowed home anytime soon?"

"No, sorry."

"Where would you go anyway, Rookie?" Philip asked.

"I'm not asking for me. Some of the scientists here actually have lives and families."

Tia shrugged. "They knew what they were getting into when they signed on to this team."

"Yeah, but a lot of them didn't think we'd actually end up in a lockdown situation. I was talking to Amber about it yesterday and people are starting to get a little on edge."

Tia frowned. "It's only been a little over a month."

Sarah sighed, shaking her head. "Sometimes I forget you guys have been spec ops agents for years now. Listen, normal people need interaction with the outside world to stop them from going crazy. Amber's not seen her eight year old daughter in over a month. I mean, she gets scared when no one leaves the hall light on for her. What's she going to think when her mother doesn't come home? A month is an eternity for a child. She's not used to her mother not being there and she had no time to get used to the idea and it's more than a little worrying, I-"

She was pulled from her train of thought by Tiberius touching her arm, checking that she was okay through their bond. The glazed look her eyes had taken in the last few moments left as she locked her gaze with his, her breath a little gasping, as if she had just been pulled from beneath water.

"You okay?" He asked softly.

She nodded. "Sorry... I just... Spirits, I hate when I do that. I just... I think I'll head back to the lab. Maybe being around other people when I'm this tired isn't a good idea..."

Tiberius gave an affectionate trill of his subharmonics, earning him a weak smile as she returned the sound, kissing him lightly on the side of the mandible before leaving.

"Okay, I'm just going to come out and say it; what the hell was that about?" Tia asked, folding her arms.

"What was what about?" Tiberius asked, returning his gaze to the work in front of him.

"We've been here over a month and I haven't seen any evidence that Sarah really knows anyone but Nat and now she's suddenly really worried for another scientist and knows loads of personal details about her? It makes no sense."

Tiberius shrugged. "Look, if you want answers why don't you talk to _her_?"

Philip snorted at that. "You know that this is Tia you're talking to, right?"

The asari just shook her head. "I'm worried. Sarah has always kept her secrets but... Well, it would be just like her to keep something to herself, even if it hurts her."

Philip just gave Tia a pointed look. "Babe, have you even tried asking her?"

"No, we've both been too busy. We haven't exactly had time to chat lately," She reasoned, shrugging.

Philip sighed, shaking his head. "Maybe Sarah's right... We've been specs ops for too long."

Tia shook her head. "Nah. Trust me; it takes more than a couple of years of this shit to become truly removed from normal society."

"Well, you would know..."

Tia rolled her eyes as she leant over to see what Tiberius was reading on his omni-tool, her eyebrow shooting upwards at her discovery. "'Human mating rituals'? I thought you two were doing well in that department," She teased.

Tiberius glared at her, growling a little with annoyance. "That's not- I was- _Different context_!"

Tia's smile widened. "I know, I'm teasing you."

He shook his head. "Philip's attitude is starting to rub off on you..."

"Ti, your best friend is human, why didn't you just ask about human dating?"

He raised a browplate in response. "Well, you're his fiancée. Do you honestly think he should be giving romantic advice?"

"Ah. Okay, well, when you put it like that, I agree. You're probably better off with the extranet."

"Hey!" Philip objected.

"Hush, you," Tia replied, playfully.

"Why are you looking up human stuff, anyway?" Philip asked. "You're dating _Sarah_. She's practically a turian, anyway."

"But she's not. She's also half human. It really bugs her when people try to put her in one category or the other, so I'm trying to not treat her like just a 'turian'," He admitted.

"Aww, that's so sweet," Tia said before turning to Philip. "See, _that's_ what a considerate boyfriend looks like. I hope you're taking notes."

Philip responded by turning and glaring at Tiberius. "Dude, stop setting the bar so high. _Seriously_..."

Tiberius rolled his eyes. "Philip, if the bar was set any lower, you'd hit your head on it… look, I'm just trying to not mess things up, okay? Now, can you help me out or not?"

Philip shrugged. "The problem with human women is, despite our insistence to the contrary, they're all different. As far as Sarah's concerned, she's pretty laid back, dude. As long as you're not a complete asshole, you're probably fine."

Tiberius sighed at that. "Remember when things were simple?"

"No. Things are never simple, they just get complicated in different ways..."

* * *

Tiberius got through his work as quickly as he could, while still sure to not be making mistakes, getting away about half an hour earlier than he had anticipated. To his surprise, Sarah had also, apparently, gotten away from the lab early, presumably to catch up on sleep. The fact that she slept so little, often claiming 'headaches', hadn't gotten past his attention.

He tried her omni-tool and was automatically patched in.

_She must've accidentally changed the answering protocols again,_ he thought to himself as he prepared to speak into it, alerting her to the fact that her omni-tool was transmitting, however he was stopped by the sound of her voice coming through the device.

"_Okay, let's try this again... If I don't do it now, I'll never manage it. Computer, begin recording._

"_If you're watching this then... Plan C went ahead as planned. And, I'm sorry for that, I truly am. If I really did go through with it, I'm guessing that you weren't happy about it. If I know you at all, I know that you'll be angry and looking for answers. I guess I'm recording this to try to give you some, even if they are a little late._

"_So, here it is. You're probably wondering why the hell I gave up when there were other options and, you're right. There are other options. None with such a high chance of success, but still, not such an improvement to warrant my sacrifice, right?_" She sighed, as Tiberius kept listening, unable to bring himself to turn off his omni-tool.

"_The truth is, if this cure doesn't work, I won't be sacrificing much. At the point at which I made this recording, I have a little over ten months left before the damage becomes irreversible. I... I am more stable than the Cerberus hybrids, but not stable enough... If you're watching this then the cure didn't work and there... is no hope left for me..._" Her voice cracked. "_Computer, pause recording._" She stopped talking for several moments, nothing coming through his omni-tool but a static-y sound that he knew was a result of higher frequency sub-harmonics. He knew that it was a mercy that omni-tools didn't transmit those frequencies. He suspected that if he could hear them, it would break his heart. She hadn't said anything that he didn't already know but it was no less difficult for him to hear.

"_Computer, resume recording._" Her voice was so soft and strained that he almost didn't catch it. "_Now you're probably pissed off... wondering why I didn't tell you. I just... I can't justify lying to you other than to say... when you look at me now, you don't see a dead woman. You see a future for us. How can I take that away from you? I guess... I just wish that I still had that, you know? That I didn't know. Every time you start talking about the future, you have no doubt that it's going to happen. And, even if it's just for a few moments, I don't, either... I don't know, maybe that's selfish... I can't tell if I'm doing it for me or for you, anymore - maybe a bit of both - but... I have no idea what I'm doing, all I know is that right now, you're not hurting... I don't know if it's ever worth risking that... So, just... I hope that you can forgive me and... I can wait, Red._" Her voice cracked once more, becoming strained. "_You know I never had much faith in gods or the Spirits - a result of my upbringing, I guess - but my parents did always talk about a bar in the afterlife. I know you've never been one for drinking but, I'll be waiting there for you... Just know that I can wait a little longer... In fact, I'll be kind of mad if you show up any earlier than thirty years from now, maybe forty... Computer, pause recording._" At that point her voice became so strained, cracking every other word, it eventually dissolved into the sound that he had come to know, all too well, was her unique equivalent of crying.

He was hurrying to her office before he had even shut off the omni-tool, the sense of sorrow and regret radiating towards him growing more intense as he approached, bypassing her lock on the door.

She scrambled up as he entered the room, quickly wiping away the tears from her eyes. "Hey," She said softly, clearly more than a little startled by his arrival, her tear-laced eyes wide with surprise.

"Hey," He replied, unsure of what else he could say. "You okay?" He finally asked, a little lamely.

She nodded. "I'm fine."

He shook his head at the bad lie, moving towards her so that he could pull the strands of her hair that had become stuck to the tear tracks down her cheeks. "Blue, what is it?" He asked, deciding that it was probably best to not reveal the fact that he had been accidentally spying on her, even if he hadn't learnt anything that he didn't already know.

"Red, just... you know that I love you, right?" She asked, her eyes desperately searching his for an answer.

"Of course," He answered, pressing his forehead to hers. "Of course I do."

She gave him a weak smile, running her hand through her hair. "I'm sorry, it's just... Sorry, I haven't slept properly in days and it's messing me up and then I have to deal with stressful shit all day and I just... I'm reaching my tolerance..."

"Then let me help."

She nodded. "Yeah... I guess there's always that small part of me that tries to shoulder everything by myself. But... maybe that's half the problem." She sighed before frowning at him a little. "Wait, why are you mad at me?"

He shook his head, maintaining his stoic features. "I'm not mad at you," He lied.

She gave him a disbelieving look, folding her arms. "You are. You're furious. And _scared_. And... And you can't believe that I would think that a note would be enough... Wait, what?" She stared at him expectantly.

He shrugged. "You keep on accidentally setting your omni-tool to auto-answer..." He replied, not wanting to admit to spying.

"Oh... well... shit... And, it's not an accident. I set it before I go to sleep if you're not here so that I don't sleep through a call..." She admitted, her gaze dropping to the floor as she hugged her arms close to her chest.

He didn't reply. He had no idea what to say.

Eventually she spoke up. "This was only ever an emergency measure. Just in case I got worse quickly and never got the chance to explain. I guess I had planned on telling you when I had a better idea of whether or not Nat's cure would work."

"I know," He told her softly. "I've known for a while now..."

She frowned. "Then why didn't you-"

"Because I also know that you needed to think that I didn't know."

She sighed, shaking her head. "But you're still _angry_ about it. Dammit, this is just like you, Red. You don't _tell_ me when you're mad; you just give me a load of passive aggressive bullshit until you work through it."

His subharmonics gave a disbelieving trill at that. "Because, you know, you're one to talk about keeping things from people."

"Not important stuff! Not stuff to do with _us_."

"Then what the hell does _this_ count as?!"

"This is _my_ problem!"

"That's your problem, Blue! It's always _your_ problem! You never see how stuff might affect other people!"

"No, the problem is that I see all _too_ clearly..." Her voice was low as she slumped against the wall, raking her hand through her hair. "_This_ is why I didn't want to tell you, Red."

He sighed, folding his arms. "Blue, you... you need to trust people more. You should trust _me_."

She frowned. "I _do_ trust you."

"Then why didn't you trust that I could handle this information?"

She was at a loss at that. "I guess... I didn't see it like that. I just didn't want to hurt you... I'm sorry."

He sighed. "I'm still mad, Blue, but now I'm mad because I can feel you becoming guilty over thinking you've hurt me but you haven't even asked me about it."

She simply gave him a questioning look, unsure what he meant.

"You say that you'd rather not know but... I don't agree with that. I'd rather shoulder this with you so that you're not alone."

She just looked at him, shaking her head, disbelief evident in her gaze. "Spirits, what did I do to deserve you? I just seem to keep fucking everything up and you don't... You stick it out."

_Yeah, well, we're not all as good at running away as you are..._

"Wow, that was... _harsh_..." She muttered as if he had said the words aloud.

"Wha- I didn't-"

"No, you're right. I _am_ good at running away. It seems to be the only thing I'm truly gifted with."

"Blue, I didn't- I mean, I would never have _said_..."

She nodded, sighing, as put all of her effort into stopping her lip from trembling once more. "I know. Trust me; I have accidentally slipped into enough people's heads to know that they can't control what they think."

"Like this morning?"

She nodded. "The longer I'm around someone and the higher emotions are running, the easier it is to slip into it. Hell, I have to spend all of my time keeping track of what people have _told_ me and what I've just picked up... Sorry, I didn't mean to pull us off into a tangent about more of my problems."

Tiberius sighed. "Blue, I think a tangent was the least I deserved..."

"If I wasn't fucking _spying_ on your thoughts, I wouldn't have heard it..."

"No complaining. This bond thing was your doing."

She nodded. "Exactly. I mean, I didn't even _ask_ or anything. Why are you with me, Red? I'm a total bitch!"

He gave her a light trill of his sub-harmonics, the turian equivalent of a kind smile. "You're not as bad as you seem to think, Blue. You make mistakes, like anyone else."

"No. I _can't_ make mistakes. Not anymore... Mistakes are _fatal_..."

"Blue, you can't beat yourself over every little thing because you're scared that history will repeat itself."

She sighed. "I know. Trust me, I'm through with scared. I've had enough of it... I swear, if Nat's cure does work, I'll eventually be killed off by stress-related illness."

He ignored her bad joke, simply cutting through to the underlying issue. "Blue, it will work."

She frowned a little at him, disbelieving. "You really believe that, don't you?"

"Of course I do. Blue, you're one of the strongest people I know. If anyone can pull through this, it's you."

She groaned, shaking her head. "As sweet as that sentiment is, there so many things wrong with that..."

He rolled his eyes. "Let me guess; scientists make the worst patients?"

She nodded. "All of the cynicism and self-diagnosis as doctors, without the actual medical training."

He frowned. "So, have you just been treating yourself?"

"Well, no. That implies that there's a treatment. Nat figured out a potential cure, but, while related, it's a little different to the cure for the Cerberus hybrids. Nat's working on me, and I'm working on them."

"How close is she?"

Sarah shrugged. "She'll come up with the cure, I have no doubt about that. It's just a question of whether she can do it in the next ten months before the damage becomes irreversible. If not, you can either let me go ahead with Plan C or you can watch me die, slowly and painfully for six months."

He sighed. "Can we just... What was it you said before? 'Wait until it's a problem'?"

She nodded. "Yeah... We can."

He pulled her into his arms, simply taking comfort from the fact that she was here _now_. "Blue, you were wrong," He told her softly.

"Oh? Any particular thing I was wrong about or just in general?" She replied, just as softly.

"I still see our future when I look at you."

"My god, you are _such_ an optimist... And I love you for it. So, what? You still see our mid-sized house near the beach and filled with cats?"

"'Filled' with cats? I thought it was only going to be a couple."

She shrugged as best she could while not moving from his embrace. "I could never have pets as a kid. I'll probably end up compensating..."

"Blue?"

"Yeah?"

"I actually think I'd be okay with just staying like this forever..."

"Yeah. Me, too..."


	20. Chapter Twenty - As Normal As It Gets Ar

**AN: S'up, bitches?**

**It's so weird. It feels like this and Let's Try This Again (my other Shakarian fic) are racing each other. FM has the lead, but LTTA is gaining rapidly.**

**Also, if I disappear after tomorrow, it's because I'm gonna buy some MS points and get me some Citadel DLC action!**

**Once more, I love all of you guys for reading, following, and favouriting, and virtual hugs go to those of you who have taken the time to leave a review, it's always awesome to hear that people like my stuff! ^^**

**Of course, super thanks, as always, go out to Spyke1985 for betaing this! You're awesome! ^^**

**Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty - As Normal As It Gets Around Here**

"Would you just let it go?" Sarah asked, folding her arms as she sat across the sofa from Tiberius.

"All I'm saying is that you can't just concentrate on offensive moves," He countered.

"It's worked for me for years! I don't need you coming in here and messing up my strategy!"

"Charging in guns blazing is not a strategy! It's suicide!"

"It's worked pretty well so far!"

"Don't mistake luck for skill."

Philip sighed, eventually sick of listening to them argue. "Do I need to give you two a timeout?"

"It's not my fault he won't stop criticizing me!" Sarah replied.

"She refuses to listen to reason!" Tiberius countered.

Tia just shook her head. "I thought we agreed to not get involved with their stupid arguments after the last one..."

"I know but this might be the most ridiculous one so far."

"We're not arguing," Sarah told them, earning her a pair of raised eyebrows. "We're having a lively debate."

"Exactly," Tiberius told them, moving closer to Sarah, earning a raised eyebrow from her, although she didn't object or shy away from his touch as he moved to start nuzzling her neck. "I was just trying to show Sarah here that her lack of forethought means that she has a nasty habit of getting into... _compromising positions._"

She gave him an incredulous look at the innuendo, before trying to shift her weight, only to find that he had trapped her where she was. She shook her head at that, biting her lip a little as she decided that two could play at that game. "Oh, I think I'm _exactly_ where I want to be," She told him, letting her subharmonics growl a little beneath the words as she hooked her legs around his waist, almost pulling him completely off the sofa in order to get loose, grinding her hips against his just little, in, what she thought, was quite a subtle move.

"Oh, okay! We are still in the room, you know!" Tia objected, causing Sarah to turn bright purple at the idea that she hadn't actually been as subtle as she had thought.

Tiberius gave her a humoured look, but reluctantly pulled himself from his bondmate as she grinned at him sheepishly through her blush, in a way that he could only describe as downright _adorable_.

"Okay, now I get it. You guys just have these ridiculous arguments for the makeup sex," Philip said, prompting Sarah to throw a cushion at his head.

"They're not ridiculous!"

Tia raised an eyebrow at that. "Sarah, you were arguing about _videogames_."

She shook her head. "Okay, we were _debating_, not arguing, and you're not allowed to make fun of my gaming habit. I didn't exactly have much else to do when I was a kid."

Philip frowned at that. "Rookie, you lived on the _Normandy_. Are you honestly telling me that you couldn't find something more interesting to do?"

Her gaze dropped a little. "I... was in the medbay a lot. So, no, I couldn't really do anything more interesting. Not that I would want to. I used to get so excited after I saved up my pocketmoney for weeks to buy some crappy old game from years ago."

"Wait, aren't your parents loaded?"

Sarah shrugged. "I guess. Why?"

"Well... just, normally the kids whose parents have money just get given stuff. They don't have to save up for it."

Sarah snorted at that. "You have obviously never met my parents. I mean, do I seem like some spoiled brat to you?"

"Point taken."

"Exactly," Sarah replied as her omni-tool beeped. "Gotta go," she told them, after reading the message.

"Everything okay?" Tiberius asked.

She nodded, giving him a reassuring smile. "Yeah, Nat just needs another sample. Plus, my own results from last night should be ready in the next little while. See you later?"

"Okay," He replied, quickly pressing his forehead to hers in goodbye, just before she left the room.

"So, are they using Sarah as a basis for curing the hybrids?" Tia asked. Philip decided to just remain quiet, knowing that he shouldn't know _anything_ about her work.

"Something like that," Tiberius replied, shrugging, his voice devoid of the suspicion that Philip had noticed a couple of months back, leaving the human to conclude that his friend _knew_. He sighed a little at that. Moments like this, where they were all together, were rare. Sarah and Nat were, understandably, wrapped up in their work and, if he was being honest, the three C-Sec agents weren't much better. They all felt the weight of their responsibility bearing down on them, making it difficult to keep things straight at times. He knew that it didn't all rest on them, that there were others in this fight, taking care of other aspects of Cerberus, but they had to keep communication limited. Only essential information got in or out, to stop Cerberus from getting their hands on any intelligence, but it meant that it was easy to feel alone and isolated.

He figured that if he hadn't had Tia, he would have gone crazy long ago.

As if sensing his thoughts, the asari reached her hand out to where his was on the table. "Hey, what are you thinking so intently about?"

"Nothing," he replied quickly, before indicating across the room. "Please tell me we were never that bad?"

Tia smirked a little, shaking her head. "You don't want me to answer that," she told him, before frowning at his still distant expression. "Honey, what is it?"

He sighed, shaking his head. "Nothing. Just… I might go stir-crazy soon if I have to stay here much longer."

"Thinking of sneaking out?"

He smiled a little at her joke, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Nah. As much as the outside world is tempting, getting shot at by Cerberus isn't worth it."

She smiled at him, sensing the true issue behind his words. "We'll get them, Philip. We're getting closer." It was true, they _were_ getting closer, but the progress was too slow. They both knew that.

He nodded his head, giving a reassuring smile that she didn't believe for a second. "Yeah…"

* * *

"_You could be happy and I won't know,  
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go._

_And all the things that I wished I had not said,_  
_Are played in loops 'till it's madness in my head._

_Is it too late to remind you how we were,_  
_But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur._

_Most of what I remember makes me sure,_  
_I should have stopped you from walking out the door._

_You could be happy, I hope you are,_  
_You made me happier than I'd been by far…__"_

Sarah smiled at the wave of nostalgia as the sound of Philip playing his guitar coming from the lounge distracted her from her hunt for lunch. Her smile took on a bittersweet edge, however, as he finished the song, remembering the 'good old days', the memories that were always tinged with a little regret. She didn't think that things would have turned out differently if she had confessed her feelings to Tiberius earlier, Cerberus would have still attacked and she still would have been injured in the attack before having to leave, but when it looked as if their relationship might only last months anyway, the idea that they might have had a few more, back before the weight of the galaxy was on their shoulders…

She didn't like to dwell on what she would lose if Nat's cure didn't work out. Thankfully, Tiberius had a way of pushing those thoughts to the back of her mind. They both felt the same jarring sensation sometimes, though, when they started to think beyond the next few, crucial months, only to remember that the future was anything but sure for them.

"You're still a shit singer," she told Philip as she approached, sitting opposite him.

He simply rolled his eyes at the comment before sighing. "Rookie, you know, it might be helpful to keeping secrets if you let the other people who know, know who else knows."

She frowned a little. "Okay, you're saying words, but they don't match up in a way that makes sense. Did you have a stroke or something?"

He rolled his eyes at the bad joke. "I know that Smiley knows. It might have been nice if you had told me that he knew, so that I wasn't watching my words around him still."

She looked a little sheepish at that. "Sorry. I… I guess I didn't think. Plus, I didn't tell him, he found out months back. And then I found out that he found out. It was all very dramatic."

Philip ignored the way she tried to brush it off as a joke, as if it hadn't been any kind of big deal. "He doesn't seem… I don't know, I think I expected more…" he trailed off, unsure of how to articulate what he meant without offending her, but she understood his meaning regardless.

She shrugged, looking a little tired. "He's remaining positive. We both are."

"Wait, did you just say that _Smiley_ was being _positive_? What kind of weird, alternate universe have I walked into?"

She smiled a little, shaking her head. "Well, maybe it's just that I'm a cynical bitch, and he's positive by comparison. Although, even I'm quite optimistic right now. Usually this kind of treatment would take _years_ to develop, but Nat's progress is astounding. Things look very positive. Although, I guess I'm still a little worried... but Red's keeping me sane, helping me to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I can't believe I thought that I could manage this all on my own. I would have been a wreck by now, I'm sure of it…"

He raised an eyebrow. "Wow, Rookie admitting that she needs someone else, I never thought I'd see the day." She just rolled her eyes in reply, so he continued on. "I'm sure it doesn't help that you don't _like_ keeping secrets in the first place."

She nodded, smirking a little. "Yeah, which is ironic, since I have so many of them to keep. Although, I don't plan on keeping them much longer…"

"So, is that why you're getting so sloppy with your disguise?" He indicated to her attire. She had stopped wearing the heavy layers of clothing she had always favoured, showing the odd frame that lay beneath, distinctly turian in nature, although hidden beneath soft skin. At that moment, she was wearing just a tank top, the lack of sleeves revealing the section on her upper right arm where her skin had been burnt clean off, revealing the slightly damaged plates beneath. Her hair had gotten longer as well, her fringe now covering her eyes when left alone, her glasses the only protection against the annoyance, although she seemed to be settling for simply pulling the hair out of the way instead, leaving visible the one feature that clearly screamed 'turian'.

"Yeah, I just can't be bothered any more. You know, no one's even mentioned it? I think they're all afraid of offending me or something. Either that or they just asked Nat. Anyway, I'm kind of using this as a trial-run for when I go out into the big bad world without hiding for the first time in… well, _ever_. I'm through with secrets."

He smiled, trying to be reassuring since she was so obviously terrified by the thought of going out into the world without the safety blanket of her secrets. "Good, because you're terrible at keeping them."

She smirked back. "As if you're much better. After all that shit you gave me about not telling Red stuff…" She trailed off, seemingly as surprised as he was at the words coming from her mouth, although she quickly covered it up.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He knew she wasn't buying it. Hell, even he could hear the cracks in his voice.

"Now who's a bad liar?"

He sighed agitatedly, shifting so that he was sitting forward more. "Look, this isn't the same-"

"Philip, it's _exactly _the same! You're keeping things from her because you think you're protecting her."

He shook his head, his darkened gaze turning away from her. "Look, Rookie, I don't expect you to understa-"

"You feel guilty for leaving," she interrupted, shocking him a little. "You had to leave, to get out of the dead-end track you were on, and get away from the family that wouldn't accept you for who you were. Except, your younger sister. She was the one person that actually understood you, and you left her behind. So now you're on Earth, you're feeling guilty, and things are looking worse than ever with Cerberus. Your sister is your best bet for intel on the whereabouts of your father, so you're trying to find her, but you're scared that she won't forgive you for leaving her there. And you won't tell Tia any of this because you're trying to protect her from the past that still haunts you, as much as you try to deny it." She finished what she was saying, the glazed look that had fallen over her eyes finally lifting, leaving her looking, not just tired but _worried_.

Not that he really noticed. He was still trying to digest the information that he thought no one else knew. "You know," he finally managed, still frowning with confusion, "sometimes I think you're completely oblivious to what's going on around you, but other times… other times, you seem _too_ astute."

She shrugged, not wanting to freak him out. Hell, her telepathy freaked _her_ out most of the time. "You give yourself too much credit. It wasn't that hard to figure out."

_Technically true,_ she thought, _but I wouldn't have had the faintest clue if it wasn't for my... __**abilities**__..._

He sighed, leaning back in his chair once more, a little relieved to actually be able to talk to someone about it. "I haven't seen her in... God, it must be seven years now. She was only fourteen at the time. She'll be twenty one now... That's so weird."

Sarah nodded. "Tell me about it. I haven't seen a single member of my family, apart from Mordin, in three years. I spent the first fifteen years of my life with almost no contact with anyone outside of the close-knit group and now..."

"Now you're on your own," he finished for her.

"Yep. How'd you deal with it? When you left for the Citadel, I mean."

He shrugged. "I think there was maybe... three days before I met Tia. Before that I was... I guess I was just glad to be out of there. I didn't really think about the fact that I didn't know anyone."

"I had... a few months before I met Cee. I didn't mind being on my own, but not knowing what was happening with everyone I care about? It drove me crazy."

Philip nodded, before frowning a little. "Wait, you really don't know _anything_?"

She shook her head. "Even Aun- the Shadow Broker couldn't help to send messages safely. I saw Hilary once or twice while she was still at flight school, but we had to be careful about the meetings. I couldn't risk anyone finding out that I was still alive. If Cerberus had known that I was still out there, they would have... well, there would have been only one sure way to get to me. Through the people I love."

"Can't most of the people you love take care of themselves?"

She nodded. "Of course. But, not everyone. Hell, a strong enough force could have taken you three down and we still have no idea how many hybrids Cerberus has... I would never forgive myself if anything happened to anyone I cared about because of me."

"Rookie, if Cerberus hadn't attacked, do you think the Executor would have ever sent us?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I was furious enough when she did have reason to send you, convinced that she had put you all in unnecessary danger-"

"Okay, you do know that we're all specially trained operatives now, right? I haven't been behind a desk since before you left."

She smiled, happy for all her friends had accomplished in her absence. "I know, I just... I worry. I'm a worrier. Plus, I call bullshit, Spec Ops means more paperwork, not less." He smirked at that. "Anyway, even if Cerberus hadn't attacked, I think it would have just been a matter of time before she sent you. Like I said, I'm a worrier, and she knows that. I was going crazy, not knowing what was happening with everyone. Plus, being separated from my bondmate didn't help. So, yeah, she would have sent you eventually. Speaking of, was she alright when you left?"

He nodded, frowning a little. "Yeah, of course. I mean, she's my boss, so I don't really know her, but I think so. Why wouldn't she be?"

Sarah shook her head, dismissively. "No reason. I'm a worrier, remember?"

He smiled at that. "Well, as far as I know, there's no reason to worry. The latest reports from the Normandy were the same as ever; no incidents to report, but no leads either. The most interesting news from the last three years is probably Riley."

"Riley?"

"Yeah. Kara and Lona's daughter."

Sarah's gaze dropped at that. "See what I mean? I didn't even know. I'm close with all of my family, but to hear nothing for three years? It's just too weird..."

"Well, if I find my sister, we can hopefully get enough info to lift the lockdown and get out of here. Then you can catch up with everyone."

She smiled at that. "You know who might be able to make that search go faster? Your bondmate! Go, tell her."

Philip frowned a little. "She's not my bondmate, she's my fiancée."

"I've seen the way you two look at each other. She's definitely your bondmate."

"Okay, I'm still not sure on the whole 'bondmate' thing. So, you and Smiley are married, right?"

She shrugged. "Kind of. It's like being married, but _really_ meaning it."

"You've lost me again."

She sighed, rolling her eyes. "You can't equate it over. I am tied to him in a way that humans just... _don't_. Turians evolved in very tight family groups, they are much more dependant on social interactions than other species. Family connections are hard-wired once made."

"Yeah, yeah, Tia tried to explain it, but it was stupidly boring."

"Then don't ask. Look, basically, our bodies attune to each other on a basic, chemical level, so that we only respond to each other's pheromones. It also makes other stuff easier."

He frowned. "'Other stuff'? Wait, do I actually want to know?"

She rolled her eyes. "In one sentence: bondmates are evolution's way of setting up a solid family unit by making sure you're a good match and then making sure you stick together, which is why it's such a weird fluke of biology that Red bonded to me at all..." She then start to blush a little, looking a little sheepish. "But, from a less clinical point of view, I just... even if I wasn't terrible with words, I doubt I would have adequate ones for how I feel about him, you know?" She was bright purple by the time she finished, hiding her face behind her hands in embarrassment.

He couldn't help but laugh a little at that. "Yeah, the girl who hates to rely on anyone, let the boy, who also hates to rely on anyone, steal her heart. It's a classic fairytale."

"I actually always prefered the original fairytales. You know, where everyone died gruesome deaths. Far more realistic."

"And if anyone ever needed proof that you and Smiley belong together..."

* * *

"Hey, Nat, have you seen-" Sarah halted midway through her sentence as she sensed an almost nauseating wave of worry emanating from her friend. "Is, erm... Is everything alright?"

"Hmm? Oh, yes. Everything's fine," she answered distractedly. "Why do you ask?"

"Because you're worried about something," Sarah answered simply, wondering a little why her telepathy seemed more tuned in than normal.

Nat sighed, shaking her head. "I'm sure it's nothing..."

"But?"

"But, _nothing_. You need to stop worrying so much."

Sarah smiled a little at that, nodding. "Maybe you're right. Okay, I just need to find the treatment I made up earlier and then I'll be out of your hair for the rest of the night. Red says he's got a surprise for me. I'll admit, I'm a _little_ bit wary, but it's so sweet of him, I don't even care."

That only seemed to intensify the worried feeling coming from her friend.

_Flashes of fire..._

_Her leg burning..._

_Screaming for those she knows are lost..._

Sarah pulled herself from her friend's mind as fast as she could, walling herself up as best she knew how.

"Nat, seriously, what is it?" She asked, her friend's determination to keep it from her dropping at the seriousness of her tone.

"As I said, I'm sure it's nothing. Just... a bit of a roadblock."

"What kind of roadblock?" She tried desperately to keep the fear from her voice, but it wasn't working.

"The kind that can be overcome. I just... I need _time_," Nat admitted, her gaze not quite meeting Sarah's.

"Time that we don't have?"

"Maybe... Zu, look, I _promise_ you that I will do everything I can to make sure you get you two get your future, okay? This is just one more problem, and it's one we _can_ deal with."

Sarah nodded, putting her effort into keeping her features still, although she didn't bother to silence the worried whines in her subharmonics, knowing that Taliya couldn't hear the-

_Wait, Taliya?_

_He always called her Taliya..._

Sarah had to figure out how to stop herself from delving into the thoughts of others without meaning to. It was just too much for her to handle, especially when the memories were so... _personal_. Hell, that would be like someone peering into her memory of saying goodbye to Red three years ago, or what had happened to her and Harry...

She had no business seeing that.

"Nat, it's okay. _Really_. I just... thank you, for doing this for me. I can't begin to tell you how much I appreciate it. Now, if I don't go now, Red will start to wonder where I am..."

She grabbed the vial on the desk before heading out of the lab, only to run straight into Red, waiting for her.

"You okay, ani?" He asked softly, drawing her into his arms.

She melted into his touch, letting down her guards so that he knew what had happened, without her having to tell him aloud. "I really need to figure out a way to stop from slipping into other's thoughts. Sometimes I couldn't even do it if I tried, but some days, like today, I don't know why, but I just can't stop it."

"Hey, it's okay, these aren't your memories," he murmured reassuringly, running his talons through her lengthening hair.

"But they happened to _somebody_, not just that but a _friend_..."

His subharmonics trilled with reassurance as he pulled away a little. "Maybe we should head to your office."

She nodded, understanding that they shouldn't be having this conversation where anyone could walk in on them.

The second they were behind closed doors, she collapsed onto her bed, exhausted. She smiled a little as Red lay down next to her, although her gaze remained fixed on the ceiling.

"There was a house fire," she explained softly. "Before that she had a husband and a son. Now she has neither. It's why she's so determined to help me, so that we can have a future together. But she's never told me. So now, everytime I see her, I'm going to have to look her in the eye and pretend I don't know."

She felt his hand become entwined in hers as he just kept on trilling reassurance and comfort. It was a few moments before he spoke again. "I might have something to take your mind off it."

"Yeah? Is this your surprise?" She asked, turning onto her side to look at him.

He nodded, his free hand moving up to brush some of the hair from her eyes, gently tracing her scars as he went. His other hand left hers, briefly reaching around before returning, pressing a small disc into her palm. "It's an encoder. It's not secure for long range use but planetside communications should be safe. The signal should be completely undetectable and undecipherable for anyone tapping it. I figured you needed to see the good you were doing first hand, and since you couldn't leave and no one's allowed to enter..."

"You got me a way to call Cee?"

He nodded, pressing his forehead to hers. "You need to see the good."

She grinned at him before leaning forward, softly pressing her lips to his mouth plates, earning her a pleased trill of his subharmonics. "You have no idea how much I love you..."

He smiled at that, his subharmonics trilling with a little humour, and a lot of love, echoing her own adoring tones. "I think I might." They remained like that for a few moments before he indicated to the disc. "So, are you going to use it or are you going to let it go to waste?"

"Now?"

"Well, why not? It's not too late yet."

She nodded in agreement, getting up so that she could load the encoder up onto her terminal, before sending a communication request to her friend.

She answered almost immediately.

"Zu!" Cee cried.

Sarah grinned at her friend. "Hey, Cee."

"Wait, I thought you were on lockdown. No communication in or out."

Sarah's grin widened a little, blushing just a little as her eyes drifted to where Red was sitting at the other end of the room, focused on his datapad, pretending not to listen. "Red worked something out for me."

Cee grinned in response to her friend's evident happiness at having her bondmate back. "_Oh_? So, am I going to actually get to see your bondmate, or are you keeping him hidden away."

Sarah shrugged. "So long as he's not too busy pretending to not listen to us." Red looked up at that, causing her to shake her head. "Get over here and say 'hi'."

He rolled his eyes before getting up, making his way back over to her desk.

"Red, this is Cee. Cee, this is Red. I'm sure you've both heard enough about each other from me."

"Hey," Tiberius said to the turian on the screen while she folded her arms, giving him a stern look.

"So, you're Red," she commented, her slightly frosty tone making Sarah frown a little. "Look, I know that you two only separated because of Cerberus, but Zu was a wreck from the moment I met her. If you _ever_ hurt her like that again, I will pull your plates off one by one, starting with your fringe. Understood?"

Red nodded quickly. "Yes, Ma'am."

Sarah shook her head, well aware that her friend had just essentially threatened to skin him alive and chop off his balls. "_Cee_, come on, be cool. It wasn't exactly easy on him, either."

"I'm just saying, Zu. I care about you, and I don't want to see you hurt again. Plus, I owe you so much..."

Sarah shrunk away from that, sheepishly. "Cee, you don't owe me anything-"

"Zu, if it wasn't for you, I would never have gotten together with Damien. And between stupid biology and ridiculously outdated adoption laws, we never would have had the opportunity to have children."

"How are the treatments going, by the way?" Sarah asked, eager to change the subject.

Cee grinned, her subharmonics trilling with happiness. "Last one was yesterday, so now it's just a waiting game."

Sarah frowned. "Wait, if you came off the hormonal regulators when I told you to, you should go into heat in the next month."

Her friend shook her head. "Six weeks ago. The doc said that being on Earth has messed up my cycle. So, now I have to wait five months."

Sarah sighed. "One of the annoyances of being a diestrous species, I'm afraid."

"Tell me about it. You know, Damien said that human females are just constantly fertile. How crazy is that?"

"To be fair, even on Earth, humans are an oddity," Sarah reasoned.

"Wait... so how does that work with hybrids?" Cee asked.

Sarah's gaze dropped at that as she carefully kept her subharmonics in check. "Well, as with almost all hybrid traits, one of the species' genes will be dominant over the other. I think it's turian for fertility cycles, but I'd have to check."

Cee frowned a little, her subharmonics trilling with question. "You have to check your own fertility cycles?"

Sarah's gaze dropped even further. "That's, ah... that's one of the flaws in my own genetic code. I don't _have_ a fertility cycle. A wrong base sequence got switched out somewhere so the tertiary structure of... and I'm boring you with science, aren't I? But, don't worry, I fixed it for all new hybrids. I just, can't fix it for me. Too tricky. I'll probably make things worse in the long-run."

Cee shook her head, her subharmonics trilling with sympathy and apology. "Zu, I had no idea. I mean, look at me going on about having kids and-"

"Hey, Cee, stop it. Seriously. I'd just... rather not talk about it, okay? The important thing is that I fixed it for everyone else. Including you."

Cee nodded. "Yeah, I really hope that this lockdown doesn't last too long. I'd feel better if you or Nat were around to make sure things are alright."

Sarah gave her friend a reassuring look. "I'm sure it won't last that lon-" she was interrupted by the sound of her terminal beeping, informing her that she had mere seconds left. "Sorry, the encoder only gives us a few minutes."

"Alright. I hope to see you soon."

"Same," Sarah replied as the terminal deactivated. Red quickly made his way over to her, placing his hand on her shoulder reassuringly as she rested her head in her palms.

"You okay?" He asked.

She nodded tiredly. "Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you, for this. You were right, I needed to be reminded of the good we do. It's just so easy to lose sight of it when it feels as if Cerberus is around every corner..."

He remained silent, just allowing his subharmonics to trill with reassurance until she sat up properly, sighing a little, showing him the vial she had retrieved from the lab earlier. "On a different note, I made this up earlier. I know that my eyes have been bothering you and, quite frankly, they're bothering me too. This should reverse the suppression of my turian genes, give me _my_ eyes back."

He smiled a little at that. She had been right, it was a little unnerving to have her gazing back at him with those green, human eyes instead of the ice blue turian ones he had grown to love. "So, what do you have to do?"

She pulled a medkit from her desk drawer, extracting a needle. "I need to inject it."

"You're going inject _yourself_? Blue, you're terrified of needles, I don't see that happening."

She was about to argue, but her gaze dropped only to see her hand trembling a little. She sighed, knowing that she wouldn't be able to manage it. "Dammit... I'll go get Nat."

"Blue, hold on a second, I can do it. I _have_ had medical training, remember?"

She frowned a little, clearly reluctant, but finally just gave a resigned sigh. "It just goes in the arm, like a vaccine," she told him, handing him the needle.

"Don't look," he told her softly.

She nodded, shifting her gaze away as she did her best not to tense up, knowing that it would only hurt more. "This is a right pain..." she grumbled.

"So, think of something else," he replied.

"Like what?"

He was very quick to reply silently with something more than a little distracting through their bond, causing her to bite her lip as she tried not to move an inch, despite the memories flooding her mind.

"There, done," he told her, placing the needle down as he turned her around to face him, his hands resting lightly on the curve of her slender waist as his eyes seemed to scan hers.

She laughed a little at that. "Red, it'll take a couple of days to work. You're not going to be able to _see_ the change."

He sighed a little at that, but nodded in understanding. "Okay, I guess that makes sense..."

"But, you did give me some _really_ good ideas on how to pass the time..."


	21. Chapter Twenty One - Live While We Can

**AN: Back again, bitches!**

**Maybe I should stop referring to people as 'bitches'...**

**Maybe I should just stop swearing. I blame the internet...**

**Also, guess who finished the Citadel DLC! All the feels, guys! Seriously.**

**Alright, I would like to say sorry for the lack of action lately, it's all been very mushy and not much has been happening, but Part Two is coming to an end so that is all about to change. ^^**

**So, thank you to all you guys for reading (I still don't quite believe that anyone does), especially those who take the time to follow/fav, with super, mega, awesome thanks to all of you who review, since improvement is impossible without feedback!**

**And, as always, triple super awesome thanks go to ****Spyke1985 for betaing! You rock!**

******Now, on with the story. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty One – Live While We Still Can**

"_And in the sea there is a fish,  
A fish that has a secret wish,  
A wish to be a big cactus  
With a pink flower on it.  
And in the sea there is a fish,  
A fish that has a secret wish,  
A wish to be a big cactus  
With a pink flower on it._

_And the flower_  
_Would be its offering_  
_Of love to the desert._  
_And the desert,_  
_So dry and lonely,_  
_That the creatures all_  
_Appreciate the effort_," Sarah sang as she moved between the consoles in the lab.

Tia smiled at her friend, shaking her head a little. "Some things never change..."

"To things never changing!" Sarah shouted in reply enthusiastically, grinning widely, as she raised her mug.

Tia frowned a little. "You don't actually have alcohol in there, do you?" she joked.

Sarah rolled her eyes jokingly. "Unfortunately not. It's just coffee."

"Speaking of things never changing, I'm guessing that your caffeine addiction is as strong as ever? Seriously, Sarah, when was the last time you slept?" she asked teasingly.

Sarah just snorted. "Sleep? Ain't nobody got time for that."

Nataliya rolled her eyes at her from the other end of the lab. "I would argue with her but she's right. Now that we're this close, it's best to just push on."

Sarah nodded in agreement. "Exactly."

She was interrupted by Nataliya as she frowned at the data in front of her.

"This can't be right…"

Sarah frowned, looking over, before sighing. "No, it's right."

"And it doesn't affect your growth or anything?" Nataliya asked as her friend began to return her focus to her own work.

"I had to have hormone treatments for a while when I hit puberty, but I'm fine now. Seriously, Nat, we need to focus our effort on other areas," she said as she focused her gaze intently on the console in front of her, pointedly ignoring the odd look Nat was giving her.

Tia narrowed her eyes a little but Nataliya shook her head at her when she gave her a questioning look. She felt as if she was missing something but she got the very clear impression that she shouldn't ask.

"And you're sure these new extrapolations are accurate?" Nat asked, frowning a little at the other terminal.

Sarah sighed at that and Tia got the sense that it had been prompted by more than just her work being questioned. "Yep. Our work so far isn't going to cut it. And we only have seven months left," she said, her tone still flat as she kept her focus on her console, giving Tia the impression that she might break it if she tapped the buttons any harder.

Nat just shrugged, a new look of determination crossing her features. "Well, I did always work better under a time restraint," she reasoned.

Sarah gave her a brief but grateful smile as they both returned to their work, music still playing over the speakers. Tia found it fascinating to watch Sarah work; she definitely seemed more comfortable here than she ever had at C-Sec, although Tia wondered if that wasn't more to do with Tiberius's return. The change since arriving had been clear in Tiberius and, from the way Nat was acting, it was also clear in Sarah. They seemed _happy_ and, so long as their work didn't keep them from each other, they never left each other's side.

"Time restraint?" Tia asked, deciding to voice the question that had been bothering her since Nataliya had said it. She got the distinct sense that Sarah had been hiding something from her the past month, as well as Philip. Philip never kept _anything_ from her so she figured that he was in on Sarah's secret and she had asked him to keep it quiet. She knew that she shouldn't be snooping but… it would be just like Sarah to keep a secret that compromised her security and just like Philip to put his loyalty to his friend above his better judgement.

"The hybrids are destabilising quickly. If we want to help, we have to be quick," Sarah lied.

Tia narrowed her eyes a little. "If that's the case then can't we just wait them out?" she asked, knowing that the plan wasn't viable but wanting to get more information on what was actually going on.

To her slight disappointment, Nataliya was the one who answered her. "Well, no. They just replace the hybrids whenever they burn out and every generation lasts a little longer than the last," she explained, causing Sarah's subharmonics began to growl with irritation, although the other two women couldn't hear it.

"But they're _people_. They shouldn't just be replaced like that," She added bitterly.

Nataliya nodded. "You're right, of course. They shouldn't," she agreed before deciding to change the subject. "I'm still a little curious as to how you were actually conceived. Your genetic code shows that someone figured out the basis for our work…"

Tia grinned, turning to her friend. "Story time."

Sarah rolled her eyes. "_Fine_… I'm waiting for the computer to run these comparisons anyway," she started before sitting on the edge of the bench. "Okay, so, my mum's always been one of those people who are just… _maternal_, you know? She was just this total mother-figure to most of her crew," she explained.

Nat and Tia both nodded in response, sharing a knowing look. Tia had never doubted that Sarah was very much a big sister. As much as she would never call upon her friend to help with a grown-up witness back at C-Sec, any below the age of thirteen meant calling her immediately. Nat had had a similar experience with the children of the patients on the Corpalis trials.

"Oh, I think we've got a fair idea of what you mean," Nataliya said.

Sarah narrowed her eyes a little at her friends, not really comprehending what they were trying to get at. "So, anyway, when my mum was chasing down the Collectors she met this guy; Mordin. He was a total mad scientist type and, unsurprisingly, they got on famously. They used to spend all their time modding the cybernetic implants Cerberus had given her to revive her. Most of the mods were things like giving her a synthesised second voice box and allowing her to digest dextro substances."

"Wait, how many cybernetics does she have?" Tia asked.

Sarah shrugged. "Like, a shit-ton."

Tia raised an eyebrow at that. "A shit-ton? Is that a scientific unit of measurement?"

Sarah nodded in reply, grinning. "Yeah. It's slightly less than a fuck-ton and a little more than a bitch-ton," she joked back before returning to her story. "So, anyway, this was about the same time that my parents got together. And, clearly, they couldn't have kids so, when my mum was locked up by the Alliance, he worked on the problem and, when she was released, he implemented the mods. She actually didn't know what the mod was until she ended up pregnant with me."

Tia frowned. "Wait, he didn't tell her?" she asked, incredulously, but the two scientists just shrugged.

"He couldn't promise her anything. You don't make promises you can't keep," Sarah explained but Tia still looked confused. "Look, _nothing_ is certain. Hell, I'm not even _certain_ that we exist on the same plane of consciousness. We can deal in probabilities but not certainties. Never certainties," she explained and Nataliya nodded.

"We're not saying that it wasn't unethical. Just that we understand. Only one being knows for certain how things will turn out and I haven't seen Him around here lately."

Tia nodded in understanding. "So he didn't want her to get her hopes up?"

"Yeah. Look, when we say things like 'the chances of stabilising the hybrids is good' we mean that there's a _high_ probability-"

"But we can't be certain," Nat finished.

"'Always expect the worst.' Then there's a chance that you'll be pleasantly surprised but you'll never be caught off-guard," Sarah explained.

Tia narrowed her eyes a little. "Is that what Plan C was about?"

Sarah folded her arms at that, regarding her friend carefully. "Huh. I was wondering when you'd ask about that."

Tia shrugged. "I figured Tiberius may have talked you out of it."

Sarah shook her head. "I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told him; we'll deal with it when it's a problem," she said firmly.

Nataliya nodded, smiling a little as her hand began to rapidly move across her datapad. "As much as we don't like to make promises… We're well on the way to stabilising the hybrids. Plan C shouldn't be an issue."

* * *

"_You said your dad is in jail__,__  
for sleeping with students__,__  
I noticed your mother is never in town__._

_You get all the attention that they never give,  
__by getting fucked, drunk and sleeping around__,_

_You got your first tattoo when you turned thirteen,_  
_A sticking poke from a car that you lost your virginity in,_  
_Stealing beers from your brother, passed out,_  
_And leaving town is all you ever talk about._

_Oh come on, it's not so bad now, come on,_  
_Oh come on, things aren't so bad now, come on…_"

She smiled a little at the familiar lyrics playing over the speakers as she entered their quarters, but it quickly faded as she saw Philip staring intently at a datapad. "Hey," she greeted as her gaze swept the room, resting on the search algorithm running on his terminal.

"Hey." Philip didn't look up as he replied.

She frowned, wondering what had his attention so completely captured. "What are you working on?"

He sighed, finally looking up. "I think I've found something…"

"What? What is it?" She murmured as she sat down next to him.

"I, erm… We need to do more, Tia. To try and _find_ Cerberus."

She frowned a little. "Philip, we're doing everything we can. _You're_ doing everything you can," she told him but he shook his head in response.

"No. There's one last thing I could do. It probably won't amount to anything but… There is one last place we could go for leads."

Tia moved closer to him as she realised what he was saying – what he had been working on so intently over the past few months - hoping to comfort him with her presence.

"Philip, we talked about this just after the initial Cerberus attack. The chances of finding out anything are slim to none," she told him softly.

"But there's still a chance," he replied adamantly.

She nodded, reluctantly. She could clearly see how much his past hurt him, so she found it hard to justify him willingly exposing himself to that hurt. "Yeah. There's still a chance."

"Then I have to do it, Tia. I'll head off tomorrow."

She sighed a little. "Okay, then. Just… I know that it's not the best plan but I don't care, I'm coming with you."

He sighed a little, shaking his head. "Tia, I can't justify putting you in harm's way like this…"

"Just as I can't justify allowing you to go alone."

He grinned a little at her stubbornness, shaking his head. "You're going to come no matter what I say, aren't you?"

She grinned back a little, shrugging. "Sorry. It's what you get for deciding to marry a stubborn asari."

"I wouldn't have it any other way," he said before kissing her softly, putting his datapad down. "You know, you've gotten awfully protective of me since you hit the matron stage," he told her as he pulled away.

She spluttered in response for a few seconds before responding. "I didn't think you'd noticed."

He just grinned at her. "I wonder when you'll stop underestimating me," he mused as she rolled her eyes a little, smiling back. "It wasn't that hard to figure out. You did hit three hundred and twenty eight on your last birthday."

She shrugged. "I guess," she replied before frowning a little. "So, what's going on with Sarah?"

"Nope. I'm not telling you anything."

She gave him a pleading look. "Come on, I'm worried about her."

He shook his head. "No. I promised Sarah I wouldn't tell," he told her firmly, causing her to sigh. "Look, if you want answers then I suggest you ask her."

"I would but… Well, I think she's busy right now."

Philip rolled his eyes as he caught her meaning. "Those two are just… I don't know. I guess they're just making the most of… well, I guess it's not really that surprising…"

Tia frowned, trying to figure out what he knew. "Philip, seriously, what's going on? I'm worried."

He sighed, shaking his head. "I'm worried, too," he admitted, before frowning a little. "You've been hanging around the labs, right?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Why?" she asked, wondering where he was going.

"How close are they? To stabilising the hybrids, I mean." The raw concern in his voice gave him away as Tia gaped at him.

"She's not stable?" She whispered.

He winced a little. "Tia, I promised I wouldn't say anything."

She nodded. "Has she told Tiberius?"

He nodded. "It took her a long time; she didn't want to worry him unnecessarily, but he figured it out anyway."

Tia sighed, frowning a little. "Typical Sarah, trying to deal with everything by herself."

Philip shrugged. "I think she's just trying to spare us any additional pain."

She shook her head. "You know, I think I almost preferred it when she was trying to be mean. Her damn selfless behaviour is gonna be the death of her…"

* * *

"That was Tia," Tiberius said as he sat back down next to Sarah.

She gave him a questioning look. "Why did she call you? We're stuck in the same building. Well, I guess you guys aren't stuck here but still, Philip's lazy attitude must be rubbing off on her."

He looked a little sheepish at that. "Actually, I think she was a little wary of catching us doing… something else."

She grinned at him. "Now there's an idea," She said before frowning a little. "Wait, we've not been that bad, have we?"

"I'm not complaining."

She shook her head at him. "So, what was she calling about?" She asked, occupying herself by absent-mindedly running her fingers over his bondmark, prompting his subharmonics to trill with contentment as hers trilled back, echoing his.

"She and Philip are leaving tomorrow."

Sarah pulled away a little as she frowned at him. "Leaving? Where are they going?"

"They're not leaving Earth. Philip just figured that the best way to get information on his father's activities would be to go and talk to his family."

She frowned, her subharmonics trilling with worry. "He talked about tracking down his sister, but it was a while back. I thought nothing had come of it. And, you said he's leaving with Tia? Shouldn't she be as far from that mess as she can get?"

"They can take care of themselves," Tiberius reminded her. "Plus, do you honestly think she'd let Philip deal with this alone?"

She sighed. "I know, I just… I hate to think that he's pushing himself to do this for me."

Tiberius shook his head. "Blue, he needs to do this. I think he's needed to do this for a long time now."

She nodded. "Who needs vids, eh?" She said dryly.

He nodded. "Yeah. Though I do worry about how Tia's gonna cope with that level of family drama," he admitted.

Sarah just shrugged. "I would have thought that she would be used to it. If being orphaned twice doesn't count as 'family drama', I don't know what does," she reasoned before frowning a little as Tiberius stared at her, his eyes wide and his subharmonics trilling with disbelief. "Ah. That's one of those things that I'm not meant to know, isn't it?" she asked, looking a little sheepish, as he nodded.

"I know that she never told anyone but Philip and I only know because I read her file," he told her.

She bit her lip as she shifted awkwardly. "I didn't even know that I knew until I said it," she told him, shrugging. "I just sometimes pick up on things people don't say. And other times I'm completely oblivious."

He sighed a little, his subharmonics trilling with amusement as he pulled her close to him, wishing, not for the first time since they had started living together, that he was wearing something other than his armour. "Tell me something I don't know."

She grinned at him, still looking a little sheepish. "Gotta love the gut instinct."

"You mean the _telepathy_?"

She looked away, shaking her head. "No, see, that still sounds weird… It makes me feel like I should be a bald guy in a wheelchair…"

"You lost me again…"

She sighed, shaking her head, before frowning a little. "I don't suppose you'll fill me in on the details now that I know?"

"Nope. You'll have to ask Tia for that."

She sighed. "But who knows how long she's going to be gone," she argued, but rolled her eyes at herself. "You know what? I don't want to find out from you anyway. I respect her privacy too much."

He let his subharmonics trill with question and a little disbelief. "You know this is Tia you're talking about, right? The queen on violating other people's privacy," he joked, but she just shrugged.

"I know but it still doesn't feel right," she admitted as Tiberius's omni-tool beeped at him.

He groaned as he saw the ID on the display. "Speaking of family drama…"

She let her sub-harmonics trill with question. "I thought you liked having your grandfather back in your life. Having a family connection again."

He nodded. "I do it's just… He knows something's up. He has to, I've suddenly gone dark. I told him that I was going to be out of contact for a while, but it's been months now…"

Sarah looked away, her subharmonics immediately beginning to trill with guilt.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to cause any problems with your family." She said and he sighed, shaking his head before touching his forehead gently to hers.

"I didn't mean it like that, Blue," he told her softly and she shrugged.

"I know. It's just… I guess I'm just sick of hiding. Old news, I know, but… I guess I'm just…"

"I know, ani," he told her. She was scared. He knew that much, although she would struggle to tell him aloud.

She smiled at him. "It's weird… I'm not even sure of which me is _me_ anymore. I mean, I spent three years not using my real name. Even before that, I was Just Sarah, and before that I was Angel. I haven't been Sarah Shepard-Vakarian in almost ten years. So, which one is me?"

"Well, that's easy," he told her simply, lowering his forehead to hers so that he could once more admire the fact that her eyes had returned to their original ice-blue colour. "You're Blue."

She smiled at that. "Alright then, _Red_." She grinned, moving so that she was sitting in his lap. "I guess it's not too terrible," she teased as she moved her lips to his neck, lightly running her tongue along his bondmark, causing his subharmonics to take on a slightly more lustful tone as he moved his hands to her sides.

"Blue, if you keep doing that, I won't be able to keep talking."

She gave him an impish grin as she pulled away. "That's kind of the point, Red."

"What if I have something interesting to say?"

She shook her head, suppressing a smirk. "No, that's just too easy…"

He laughed softly, shaking his head. "Yeah, I guess I walked into that one..." he joked back before looking a little sheepish. "I, erm... I got you something."

She frowned a little. "You know, you're just making me feel bad now. I never get you anything."

He smiled at that, shaking his head. "Well, you're not allowed to leave the facility, so you're forgiven. Plus, I don't need anything but you. Which brings me back to this…" He moved over to the other side of the room, finding the hiding place that he had discovered behind the piles of papers that she never bothered to move, but refused to file away in case she ever needed to refer back. He would always question her preference for working on real paper instead of datapads, but he had to admit that Cerberus would struggle to decipher her handwriting if they ever got their hands on her work…

He moved back over to where she was sitting, her subharmonics trilling with question as he handed her a box that was identical to the one that Tia had passed onto her from him three years ago.

"I figured that I should be the one to give it to you this time."

Her hand immediately moved up to the necklace that she always wore around her neck, with the red half-heart from her broken charm bracelet, only to find that it wasn't there.

"Just open the box," he told her softly. as he stood up to stand next to her, trying to keep the nerves from his subharmonics. He still had very little idea about human mating rituals and, as much as Blue claimed that she didn't care; he wanted to get it right.

She seemed to delight in opening the box as slowly as she could, being extremely careful when untying the ribbon around it instead of just pulling it off or cutting it with her talon-like nails. It was worth it, however, when she opened the box and gasped softly.

"You fixed it," she said in an almost whisper as she pulled the charm bracelet from the box.

"I... I didn't get to give it to you properly the first time so..." He trailed off, shrugging, but her gaze was drawn to the new addition to the bracelet, between the two half hearts. "I know you said that you weren't bothered about human rituals but... I guess I figured that we should do something at least vaguely right..."

"Red?" she said, interrupting his rambling as she stepped closer to him, the charm bracelet still in her hand, her fingers absently stroking the newest addition; a small, diamond ring. He nodded mutely in response, not trusting himself to say anything that wasn't completely idiotic. "I…" she started, but trailed off, seemingly in a similar predicament.

"You know, my research seemed to suggest that there was a question that went along with the ring," he told her as he wrapped his arms around her sides, bringing her closer, drawing confidence from the way her subharmonics were trilling. There had once been a time that he was almost sure that that sound only existed in over dramatized romance vids because the real world was just too bleak to ever allow that kind of unconditional love to exist between two people without tearing them apart forever.

He had never been so glad to be wrong.

"But-"

He stopped her as he realised where she was going. "I know, Blue, but I figure, we have to live while we still can."

She nodded, although it was still a little distracted. "Red, you know that my answer to that question would only ever be yes but... I don't want you to feel obliged to do this for me."

He shook his head at that. She seemed to spend so much time making sure that he wasn't inconvenienced or put out in anyway by their relationship and she just didn't seem to get it. She was worth all of it to him. "Blue, I don't feel obliged to do anything. I _want _to be your bondmate and your husband."

She grinned at him. "Then yes, Red. I'll marry you," she told him, her subharmonics trilling in an effort to show him everything she was feeling, although she suspected that it wasn't enough. Nothing could ever be enough to articulate how much she loved him. "But no frilly dresses."

"Well, no. That would just be ridiculous."

* * *

**AN: Next chapter should be up either later tonight or tomorrow.**


	22. Chapter Twenty Two - Facing Demons

**AN: Well, here it is.**

**Once more, thanks go out to all you guys who read. with double thanks to everyone who follows/favs, and triple, magic thanks to all y'all who leave reviews. You guys rock!**

**Special thanks to Spyke1985 for being an awesome beta! Your rock the most!**

**Okay, hope you enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty Two - Facing Demons**

"Morning, Mrs Tallin," Tiberius greeted softly as Sarah groaned, curling up with her blanket, not wanting to leave the warmth of her bed, although she had a smile across her face.

"Morning, Mr… Erm… Mizuiro? Shepard-Vakarian? I don't know. Ask me when I'm awake," she muttered, pulling her blankets tightly up under her chin.

He shook his head at her, his subharmonics trilling with humour. "Didn't you _like_ being nameless back in the day at C-Sec? Something about it being 'mysterious'…"

She gave him a wicked grin as she sat up. "Don't deny it; my mystery was downright sexy."

He nodded, nuzzling her neck a little. "I'll admit, it had a certain charm. But I much prefer _this_. Knowing you."

"Me too," she admitted softly, before groaning a little as she stretched. "What time is it?" she suddenly asked, prompting him to check his omni-tool.

"Just after eight," he told her, prompting her to groan once more.

"Red?"

"Yeah?"

"It's too cold."

He nodded. "How do you think I feel?" he asked as he wrapped his arms around her.

She moved the blanket so that it was covering both of them, snuggling up to his warmth. "Do you think we could get away with working on datapads and just not move for the rest of the day?"

He grinned at her. "I like the way you think." She grinned back before frowning a little, losing herself in her thoughts as she often did. "Something's bothering you," he observed, causing her to stiffen momentarily. She really didn't want him to ruin things by asking about her health. Perhaps Nat was right to remain so optimistic but... Sarah found it more and more difficult with each day that passed. "No, I don't mean _that_..." he said, catching her off-guard by reading her so well, "well, actually, yes, that as well, but something else is bothering you."

"Sometimes I forget how well you know me," she murmured into his cowl as he kept her close, running his talons through her hair.

"So, are you going to tell me?" he asked softly.

She simply sighed. "It's just… Philip's standing up to his demons and facing his past and when I was given the chance I ran away… just like always," she told him, causing his subharmonics to trill with question. "I saw Harry… I saw him a couple of times, actually. Back when I was a student."

"You think that you should have said something to him?"

Sarah nodded a little. "I think that I was afraid of what he'd say. That he'd blame me," she admitted, the broken edge to her tone meaning that Tiberius couldn't help but hold her tighter as he heard her subharmonics trill with regret. It was clear what she wanted to do but he knew that she would need someone to tell her that it would be okay.

"Come on," he said, pulling the blanket from both of them so that she held him closer for a few moments as she adjusted to the cold morning air.

"Where are we going?" she asked, frowning a little as she wondered what had happened to their plan of staying in bed all day.

"To face your demons," he said simply.

She folded her arms, raising a browplate at him. "We're on lockdown, remember?"

He just shrugged. "It's an emergency situation," he reasoned.

She sighed. "Red…" she started, her mind running over hundreds of arguments against what he was suggesting, but he stepped close to her once more, wrapping his arms around her so that any nerves or anxiety were washed away by the overwhelming feeling of safety that he brought her.

"Blue, you need this," he said simply, and she was once again struck by just how well he could read her. She was used to picking up on what other people were thinking or feeling without them telling her, but she still wasn't used to being the recipient of such intuition. However, from Red she didn't mind. He knew her and she simply didn't mind.

"I love you, ani," she told him softly; sure that she didn't say it enough. She was still too used to trying to distance herself from people but she knew that she never wanted to create any distance between her and the turian in front of her. "Never doubt that."

"Never…"

* * *

Tia liked to think that she was good at reading people. Always had been. It had been a skill that had served her more than well in the past and she had learnt to appreciate it. She liked to think that she could read Philip better than most, although he still managed to surprise her on occasion. Now was not one of those occasions, however, as he refused to stop fidgeting, deliberately setting a slow pace as they approached the small diner where they had tracked his sister down.

"You sure you want to do this?"

He nodded, steeling himself with determination. "I have to, Tia," he told her simply.

"Okay then," she replied, taking his hand in hers. He gave a grateful squeeze as they headed into the diner before letting go, giving her a slightly apologetic look. She understood. She had seen the stares as they had walked down the street. She fully understood that this was a part of the city that rarely saw other races and, as a result, bigotry was rampant.

They made their way over to a small table in the corner, sitting opposite each other. Tia was pretty sure that her fiancée was putting all of his effort into not visibly shaking. Although his nerves seemed to turn to amazement as the waitress walked over. She was short and plump, with thin brown hair down to her shoulders. Tia reckoned that she was maybe a year or two younger than Philip and the resemblance was clearly there, marking her as his younger sister.

"Alicia?" Philip asked, his voice a little hoarse, as she approached.

She frowned a little before her expression transformed into a disbelieving stare. "Phil?! Oh my goodness!" she exclaimed as she sat down next to him, wrapping her arms around him. They were both grinning as she pulled away, staring at him as if she had never seen anything more unbelievable in her life. Tia felt very much as if she was intruding but she knew that Philip wanted her close by. They both knew that the pleasant reunion wouldn't last long.

"Hey," he eventually managed. "I missed you."

"I missed you too. Where have you been?" she asked, although Tia noted the undercurrent of anger beneath her disbelief and joy. "Dad tried to find you but he never could. Philip, I thought that… I feared the worst."

"Oh, Al… I didn't mean to make you worry."

She nodded as if she didn't quite believe him. "It's okay. You're here now," she told him, although she seemed to be clenching her jaw a little, holding back what she really thought of his disappearing act. "So, where you been?"

"I've been living on the Citadel, working at C-Sec," he told her. To her surprise, Tia couldn't tell what the small girl (Tia had difficulty thinking of her as a woman) thought about this information. Her gaze drifted to Tia and the asari tried to remain still under her scrutinising glare.

"Who's your friend?" Alicia asked her brother who tried his best not to look uncomfortable.

"Al, this is Tia. Tia, this is my sister Alicia," he introduced, barely avoiding stammering awkwardly.

Tia tried to smile warmly, extending her hand. After a few moments Alicia took it, clearly a little uncomfortable around the asari.

"Nice to meet you," Tia told her, doing her best to keep her voice warm and sincere.

Alicia nodded. "You too." Both Tia and Philip let the obvious lie go, although Philip couldn't help but notice how his sister's gaze fell on the ring on Tia's finger. She had always been the smartest of the four siblings. "So, you two work together?"

Philip shot Tia a quick look that screamed '_Help me! I'm drowning!_' but she wasn't sure what she could do. Neither of them had talked much about what they would say. Philip knew his sister best but it had been six years. They couldn't really plan for any eventualities, so they had decided to just play it by ear. Something that Tia hated with a passion, but that, somehow, was simply how Philip operated.

"We're part of the same team," Tia answered.

Philip nodded, seeming less on edge, but he let his gaze drop a little in thought before continuing. "Yeah. But that's possibly the most underwhelming description of our relationship… she's not here because she's my friend, Al. She's here because she's my fiancée."

His sister seemed to take a moment to digest that information, gritting her teeth a little. "Right… well… I'm happy for you, Phil. Really. But maybe it was better that Dad never found you. You know what he's like."

Philip nodded. "I know. But, Al, Dad _did_ find me. About three and a half years ago."

She shook her head. "No… he would have told me. Plus, if he had, then why didn't you come home?"

"Because he didn't ask. He wasn't there looking for me. Al… what do you know about Dad's been up to since I left?"

"He… God, Phil, he was _furious_. He was… more difficult than usual. I spent most of my time at friends' houses. But… then he got his act together, a little over a year after you left. He got a job off-world. It was good money and he's been… looking after me." Philip could see the traces of guilt in his sister's eyes. She knew _exactly_ who their father was working for; she was just turning a blind eye, for whatever reason.

"Al, do you know what that job was?"

Her gaze dropped. "He was never specific…" The reasoning was hollow, and she knew it, so she gave up trying to say anything else.

"Al, he's been working with _Cerberus_. Three years ago he wasn't looking for me; he was hunting down a friend of mine. And he succeeded, Al."

She shook her head. "Look, Phil, I don't know what you want. Dad doesn't speak to me about work; he just sends me the money."

Philip gave his sister an incredulous look. "Since when do you care about _money_, Al? It's not worth it, and you know it. Plus, it hardly looks like he's taking _good_ care of you from where I'm sitting."

She glared at him, folding her arms. "You lost the right to take that attitude with me when you bailed six years ago. I work here because I _want_ to, not because I have to. You have no right to judge the things that I do or the choices I have made. I have my own problems, Phil, and it wasn't as if you were around. I had to take help where I could get it."

He wasn't sure how to respond to that. She was right. He had abandoned her, and yet he had still expected to find the young, idealistic girl who had so much more potential than this. He wondered what had happened to her dreams. Had she even finished high school? Had she given up on her dreams along the way or was she simply struggling to reach them? Would things have been better if he had stayed?

His thoughts were still being plagued by these questions when one of Alicia's friends interrupted them.

"Al, the school just called. Something about a fight. I'll hold the fort until you get back."

Alicia immediately jumped up at that, a worried look on her face. "Is Phil okay?"

Her friend nodded. "A little bruised up I think, but mostly okay."

"Wait, what?" Philip asked, thoroughly confused.

Alicia sighed, turning to her brother once more. "As I said, I have my own problems now. Dad doesn't talk to me about his work, but even if he did… I'm on my own, Philip, and I _have_ to look out for my son. So, just leave. Please."

Philip had no response as she left.

* * *

"Maybe this was more dramatic in my head…" Tiberius sighed as he filled out another piece of paperwork that would allow them to leave the building for a day.

Sarah laughed a little as she focused on her own work. "Did you think we could just waltz out?"

"Well, I was hoping to not give you time to… what's that human phrase? 'Chicken out'?"

"That's the one," she replied before her gaze dropped a little. "But… you're right. I need to do this. Before… I just… I don't have a long list of regrets. I can live quite happily with almost every decision I have made, but not that one. I have been running from my guilt for so long and… now my time is up. I should face the music."

Red frowned a little as she spoke, noticing how she was holding back tears as she spoke. He moved over to her, feeling her guilt bubble to the surface. "Blue…"

She cut him off before he could start reassuring her. "It's what started this whole trend of running from my problems and, as I have said before, I am done running. So, it makes sense to go back to the beginning. Make things right while I…"

_While I still can._

He pressed his forehead to hers, his subharmonics trilling with reassurance as he tried to convey hope through their bond, but she was pushing it away more than usual. After a few moments his own thoughts became clouded with a little confusion as something felt off.

Sarah ran a little hotter than humans usually – she had a whole rant about how it messed with some of her human enzymes or something, but he couldn't remember most of it – but she still felt cool to him. Not today, however, as he realised that she, if anything, felt _warm_ against him.

He pulled away a little, trying to not let his subharmonics trill with worry as he looked her over. She still had her blanket wrapped around her, tight under her chin with just one hand poking out, clasped around her datapad. The changes had been so subtle over the past few weeks but, now that he was looking for them, they were almost painfully obvious. Her cheeks were tinged with a light purple, more so than usual, but the rest of her skin looked a few degrees paler. He would have said that it was just the lack of exposure to sunlight if the change hadn't just occurred in the past month or so. The dark circles beneath her eyes seemed darker, and she had lost some of the roundness to her features, replaced, instead, by the sharp angles of turian features. She didn't look fit as she had during their days at C-Sec, but neither had she the pleasing curves that civilian life had left her with. There had always been places where her plates were so close to the surface that they could almost be seen; over her arms and her ribs, but not like this. She was nothing but skin, plate and bone.

"Stop looking at me like that," she snapped, fixing him with a glare. "I'm just running a little fever. I'll be okay again in a couple of days."

"Blue, when was the last time you ate?"

She shrugged. "This morning, I guess. I… know that I haven't been eating much but… my digestion isn't great right now. Some days I can't tolerate dextro, others I struggle with levo."

"Blue…" He wasn't sure how to voice his worries. She should still have six months left, but if she kept getting worse at this rate, he doubted she would last that long.

She sighed, knowing his thoughts. "Look, it's bad right now, but it's going to stop getting worse. I'll have a few months of just being generally sickly as my body struggles to maintain itself. Eventually, roughly six months from now, something will fail that can't be fixed as my brain starts to go. This is a slow process, Red…"

"I know, Blue," he told her, pressing his forehead to hers once more as he resumed trilling reassurance at her, careful to keep his worry from his tones, knowing that it would only make _her_ worry. "I just… you are really bad at making sure you take care of yourself. You keep pushing yourself, even on the bad days."

She nodded. "Of course I do. The other hybrids don't stop destabilising just because I am. I can't just take a sick day because I'm a little under the weather."

"But you're not doing them any favours by running yourself ragged, ani."

She sighed. "I know. It's just… difficult to keep the balance, you know?"

"I know," he told her, wishing that he knew the first thing about biology so that he could help her, "but, just know that you're not alone in this."

"I know, ani," she replied softly before kissing him gently, trying to return the way his fingers were gently stroking her cheek without extracting herself from her blanket. "I know…"

* * *

Philip was silent as they returned to the sky car, worrying Tia. It was so unlike him to not speak at all, but right now she could see that he was hurting and, for once, she was at a complete loss for how to help. She had never had to deal with family like this.

Philip only turned to face her once they had reached the empty car park, leaning against their sky car as he seemed to still be trying to figure out what to say. "I don't know what I expected," he eventually settled for.

"You seemed… let down," she prompted softly.

He sighed, shaking his head. "Al was… she was really smart. She's right, Tia, I bailed on her. No one else looked out for her and, in the end, neither did I. You've heard about what my dad's like. I have two older brothers as well, have I ever told you that?"

She shook her head. "You never mentioned them."

"Rick and Jordan. Both have been in and out of jail more times than I can count. Jordan's just an idiot but Rick? If there was ever a reason I wanted to get into law enforcement, it was to keep bastards like him off the streets. A few weeks after he ended up in jail for the first time, Mom left, never to be heard from again. I think she just gave up on the lot of us. Al was too young to even remember her. All she ever had was a father who could never _really_ be classed as 'there', two brothers who were only home between sentences, and me. And then I left."

"Philip, you did what you had to. You were sixteen, yourself. You shouldn't have had to look after her."

"'Shouldn't have' has so little meaning in places like this, Tia. I think you know just as well as I that kids are often forced to shoulder responsibility that they shouldn't have to."

"Yeah…" She had nothing else to say to that.

He sighed once more, shaking his head. "It's all so fucked up. I mean, she's got a kid? And he's in school? I just… she was the smart one. She wasn't one of _those_ girls, you know?"

"Honey, you don't know what happened. You can't sit there and make guesses, just like you can't let your guilt over leaving eat you up."

He nodded. "I just… she was polite, but I could see it. How angry she was with me. This is all so fucked up. I decided long ago that I wanted nothing more to do with my fucked up family but… I guess they decided that they want nothing more to do with me either, huh?"

Tia gave him a sympathetic look as she moved towards him, wrapping her arms around him. He was almost a head taller than her so, when he wrapped his own arms around her in return, he very much enveloped her. She wanted to comfort him, but also to show him that he _had_ family. He had her, and Smiles and Rookie. The four of them had built up this strange, make-shift family over the past six years and he needed to be reminded of that. That there were people who cared about him.

"Get in the car," she told him as she sat in the side with the controls.

He frowned. "Where are we going?"

She gave him a cheeky smile. "Just get in."


	23. Chapter Twenty Three - When Everything F

**AN: Hey guys! I guess it's been a while, or has it? I've been very busy lately.**

**Thanks again to everyone who reads, especially those who follow/fav and super special thanks to everyone who reviews. You guys are awesome!**

******Super awesome thanks to Spyke1985 for betaing for me!**

******Okay, hope you guys enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty Three – When Everything Falls into Place, Just Before it Falls Apart**

"Tia?"

The asari groaned, knowing what _that_ frown meant. "Honey, we've been over this; there's nothing more we can do until Cerberus makes another move. We needed this."

He nodded, sighing a little as he looked out across the beach. "I just… I guess I feel a little guilty when the others are stuck in the facility."

"Taking a couple of weeks for ourselves when we're not needed isn't a bad thing. Smiles and Rookie needed their space and we needed a decent honeymoon."

He finally smiled at that, drawing her close to him. "Yeah, I still don't quite believe it. So, how does it feel to be _Mrs_ Namar?"

She cocked her head a little at that. "Wait, you were serious about that?"

"About me taking your name instead of the other way around? Absolutely. I need the distance from my family and you need the reminder of yours."

"And to think I used to call you an idiot…"

"To be fair, you weren't wrong."

"No, but you're _my_ idiot…"

* * *

"You've gotten _sloppy_ over the past few years," Tiberius told Sarah, laughing a little as he pinned her down with her arms held tight behind her back. She snarled in response as she tried to move out of his grasp, attempting to shift her weight to compensate for how her illness had weakened her muscles. She had kept herself in shape, as exercise made a good outlet for the stress of being separated from her bondmate, but she was under no illusions that between the lack of real combat, or any kind of training, and her becoming... _weak_, she was far from combat ready.

Which was not a situation she was used to. Or one that made her particularly happy. If the cure for the other hybrids worked, she didn't want to leave it in someone else's hands. But that meant that she had to be able to handle herself. Which is why she had turned to Tiberius to help her get back up to how she had been. Although, he seemed to find it a little too funny when he knocked her on her ass.

"Okay, all you're going to do is dislocate your shoulder," he told her as she continued to struggle.

Her growl deepened, her subharmonics filled with anger. She _hated_ not being able to defend herself, cursing her lack of foresight in allowing herself to get like this. The rational part of her mind knew that muscle memory was a powerful thing, that it wouldn't take long for her to regain what she had let slip away, especially given that they had barely been at this a week.

But it wasn't the rational part of her mind that responded to her being pinned down like that, as she let loose a biotic shockwave, knocking her bondmate from her.

She immediately pounced on him, making sure that he couldn't move his arms or legs, the biotics flaring across her skin compensating for her lack of strength.

"I thought we said no biotics."

"You pushed," she told him, "and this is my response to pushing."

"You can't always rely on your biotics."

"Don't be a sore loser."

He laughed a little at that before raising his head so that his mouthplates were pressed to her lips. She immediately responded by kissing him, although she refused to shift her weight. He began to make lustful growls with his subharmonics that seemed to reverberate through her, straight down to her groin. Her concentration slipped for a moment or two, enough time for her biotics to weaken just enough for her bondmate to flip her over, pinning her once more.

"Who says I lost?"

She grinned in reply, shaking her head. "Fine, fine, I get it; biotics aren't always reliable. Now, are you going to finish what you started or-" She groaned as her omni-tool began to beep at her, sitting up.

"I'd love to," he told her, gently nipping at her neck, "but then we'll be late."

She huffed a little at that, her gaze darkening as she was faced with what she had planned to do that day. He gently brought a talon up to brush away a strand of hair that had escaped her ponytail. "I'd almost forgotten," she admitted gently.

"Blue, if you don't-"

She shook her head. "Don't. Don't give me an out, because I might just take it."

"Okay then," he agreed softly before bringing his browplate to hers.

* * *

"Are you going to keep standing there or are you going to go inside?" Tiberius finally asked his bondmate, who had been rooted to the spot for the past few minutes. If he couldn't feel the anxiety pouring from her, he might have thought that she was simply taking her time to enjoy the fresh air.

He had to admit that, despite their careful planning, he was a little fearful that Cerberus would find them. While being stuck in the facility was boring, he would take that boredom in a heartbeat if it meant that Sarah was safe.

Although it wasn't as if anyone could identify her now. She was wearing a large black duffel coat that aptly covered her less-than-human features, even as exaggerated as her illness had made them. Of course, her hair had grown out so that she no longer had a fringe to cover her plates with, so she had ended up settling for a hat that she had told him was supposed to look like a 'panda', but which he just found bizarre.

"I-" Sarah started, but decided against it, simply nodding mutely before opening the door.

"_Four letter word just to get me along,_

_It's a difficulty and I'm biting on my tongue and uh,_

_I keep stalling, and keeping me together,_

_People around gotta find something to say now._

_Holding back, everyday the same,_

_Don't wanna be a loner,_

_Listen to me, oh no, I never say anything at all,_

_But with nothing to consider they forget my name, ame, ame._

_They call me girl,_

_They call me Stacey,_

_They call me her,_

_They call me Jane_

_That's not my name,_

_That's not my name…"_

_Sarah shook her head, simply stopping in the middle of the song. "No, I was right the first time," she told her friend as he stopped playing the piano. "Some songs simply can't be translated without losing their meaning…"_

_Harry sighed as he sat back on his stool, leaning back against the wall as he turned to face her. "Damn. Oh well, I have more here." Sarah nodded, looking over his list, wondering how much time he had spent putting it together. "Thanks again," he told her as she perused the list, "for helping me with this project. There aren't many people who speak fluent Turian and Human Common."_

"_No problem. I just hope you get a good grade out of it."_

"_Me too. Maybe you could submit it to your school as well, or is that not how your grades work?"_

_Sarah shrugged. "I'm homeschooled, so I don't really have graded projects. I've already taken all of the standardised tests and have all of my high school qualifications."_

"_Ah, is that you had your nose buried in books the last time you were here?"_

_She nodded. "Yeah, I guess I got kind of wrapped up in my work."_

"_Did you take music?"_

_She shook her head. "I focused on science and maths, with a few languages and cultural studies thrown in there for good measure. I didn't see much point after I did my singing grades…"_

"_Or you were just too lazy to learn to play an actual instrument."_

_She rolled her eyes, throwing him a mock glare. "Yeah, call me when you have two A-grade General Certificates and two A-grade Advanced Certificates in mathematics."_

"_You took two different versions of maths both times?"_

_She nodded. "Core maths both times, statistics for the General Certificate and further maths for the Advanced Certificate."_

"_Nerd," he joked before sighing once more as he regarded the work they still had left to do. "Okay, I think we need a break."_

"_Hallelujah," she replied, grinning, as he got up to sit next to her on his bed._

"_Let's go out tonight."_

_She raised an eyebrow. "What's the occasion?"_

"_If I'm not mistaken, it was your birthday last week. Come on, I know a place that'll serve us."_

"_Honestly?"_

_He nodded. "Well, I mean, you're hardly small, so you'll probably pass for older." She hit him across the arm in response. "I meant that you're tall," he clarified, holding his hands up in defense._

"_Yeah, okay then. Shall I call Hillary and Mordin and make a night of it?"_

_He shrugged. "Well… I hate to say it, but Hillary probably won't get through the door and, well, I was hoping that it would be just us…"_

_She narrowed her eyes a little, suddenly very conscious of their proximity. "Why?"_

_He responded by pressing his lips to hers in a kiss that was about as chaste as a kiss on the lips could get, given that neither of them were particularly practised in such things. "That's why," he told her as he pulled away._

"_I thought we weren't doing that anymore," she told him. They had dated for about a month a few years back, and he had been her first and only kiss, but they had been barely more than children, simply wanting to grow up as fast as they could, with no real romantic feelings behind the gestures._

"_I changed my mind…"_

Sarah pulled herself from the memories brought on by the music playing over the speakers in the empty café.

"Hey, we're closing in a minute. I can make you something quick to go, though," the only other occupant of the room told them, a man Tiberius recognised to be Harry. Sarah gripped her bondmate's hand so hard that he thought it might break, making him wish that he had worn his armoured gloves. He was about to respond when Harry frowned at Sarah. "Hey, I know you. You're Cee's mute friend."

Tiberius raised a browplate at that. "'Mute'?" he asked.

"Yeah. Or, she's never spoken to me. At least, not after the first time. She only came in here once or twice with Cee, but that scar's kind of memorable."

Tiberius nodded, refraining from the urge to shake his head at his love's sudden inability to speak. "Maybe I should bring her here more often if she's always this quiet."

"Funny," Sarah drawled in response, narrowing her eyes, before her subharmonics trilled with surprise at her sudden confidence.

Tiberius simply gave her a smug look as Harry grinned. "Ah, so she does speak," Harry joked.

Sarah simply shook her head. "You're both idiots…" she muttered.

"So, are you two dating or what?" Harry asked, clearly curious about their handholding.

"Bondmates," Sarah informed him, earning her another smile as she slipped a little too easily into the easy banter, having to remind herself that she still had to tell him who she actually was, and he may not be so warm after that revelation.

"Good for you two. Wasn't Cee dating a human for a while?"

Sarah nodded. "Damien. They bonded a couple of years back."

"Apart from her, I've only known one other human-turian couple. Kind of. I knew their daughter, at least…" He tailed off, his gaze darkening. "Anyway, you two probably don't want to listen to my rambling. You probably came here for coffee."

Sarah nodded before frowning a little. "So, what happened to your friend?" she asked softly.

He snapped his head up, locking his gaze with hers as he narrowed his eyes. "Who says anything happened to her?"

"That look you had did," she told him.

He sighed, shaking his head. "I don't make a habit of reliving my mistakes with strangers."

"Your mistakes?" Sarah couldn't help it; she was too damn curious. "What do you mean?"

He gave an irritated sigh. "I messed up. We both got hurt and I ended up… in the hospital. By the time I was better, she was nowhere to be found. Probably hated my guts. About a year later, I found out that she had died. Probably still furious with me."

Sarah shook her head vehemently. "It wasn't… it wasn't your fault. She should have known better than to wear her colony marks in public."

He was too furious with himself to question how she knew so much about what had happened, practically seething as he gripped the table. "No… You want to know the truth about Sarah? She thought that she knew everything, and she _could_ ace any test you put in front of her. Hell, at fifteen, she had seen more of the galaxy than most people do in a lifetime, but she didn't _know_ anything. She had grown up in a bubble, removed from normal society. _I_ knew better, but I was stupid…"

Sarah shook her head, unable to take any more of him blaming himself, as she ignored the counter between them, throwing her arms around his neck so that she pulled him into an awkward half-hug over the intrusive surface. He was startled by the sudden move at first, ready to push her away from him, until his mind registered the familiar bone structure that wasn't quite human.

"Sa-" he started, but she cut him off.

"I think your friend probably blamed herself. She probably thought that if she hadn't been… who she was, you probably wouldn't have gotten hurt. That it wasn't fair that you paid for her lack of knowledge... She probably couldn't face seeing you, for fear of you pushing her away."

He was still looking at her, disbelieving, when she pulled away. "I thought- I mean, I should have known, but..."

She gave him a weak smile. "There wasn't much choice. I'm sorry, I should have realised when I saw you again..."

"When you first came in here... I thought I was seeing a ghost. But then you... I figured I was just imagining it."

She shook her head. "I- I should have visited after... when you got better. I just..."

He nodded in understanding. "I get it. I mean, hell, I _had_ your number. There was nothing stopping me from calling..."

"And _I_ had yours."

"I guess we're both idiots, huh?"

"I guess so..." she replied, just as her bondmate's omni-tool began to beep, making her subharmonics trill with annoyance. She just wished that Cerberus would bloody well attack already. Time and careful planning had allowed this short trip, and the call to Cee, but they had to move quickly in order to stay on top of Cerberus.

"I'm sorry. We have to go..."

Harry nodded, having figured that there must have been a very good reason for her to fake her own death and go into hiding. "Will I see you again?"

Her gaze dropped to the floor as she folded her arms. "I... I honestly don't know... I hope so, but..."

"I hope so, too."

"We have to go, ani," Tiberius told her softly.

She nodded in agreement. "Sorry for the rush..." she told Harry just as she headed towards the door.

"Just... take care of yourself."

She had no response to that, apart from a sad smile as she ducked out of the door, closely followed by her bonded. They moved as quick as they dared without drawing attention to themselves. They had avoided parking the skycar too close to the café, not wanting to leave any indication of where they might be heading, or why.

They were sure that Cerberus still had no clue as to her real identity, but it didn't seem to matter if she was Sarah or Azula - or anyone else, for that matter - her propensity to make enemies transcended any identity she could dream up.

Tiberius found himself surprised as Sarah suddenly stopped dead in the street.

"Blue? What is-"

"_Shh!_" She frowned in concentration, tilting her head to the side as if trying to hear a whisper from far away. "They've sent hybrids after us," she hissed in disbelief. "They haven't sent human agents. They sent hybrids."

"How-" he started but cut himself off, realising that they had bigger worries right now. "Do you know how close they are?"

She shook her head. "No- I can't- I only know that they're hybrids and that they're looking for us..."

"Then we have to move." She nodded before they quickly headed off, back to the skycar.

They were only a few streets away when a shot narrowly missed her ear. She immediately flung up her biotic barriers in response, wishing that she could have worn her armour without drawing attention to herself, just as Tiberius wished that he could be armed with more than just a pistol as he readied his weapon.

"Get down!" Sarah told him, with just enough time for them both to duck behind cover as a second shot was fired. "Snipers," she muttered, as she activated the tactical display on her glasses, earning her a trill of surprise from her bondmate. "What? You didn't think these were just glass, did you?" she joked, before frowning. "Our best bet is to outrun them." Tiberius gave a reluctant nod, all too aware of the fact that she had no armour and wasn't armed. "Hey, I still have my biotics," she reminded him, sensing his thoughts. She kept her tone calm and professional, but she allowed her subharmonics to give a brief trill of reassurance.

He nodded in reply. "There's a crowd two streets down, we can lose them in the fray." She froze at the idea of willingly placing herself into the middle of a crowd, but Tiberius responded by taking her hand in his. "Hey, I'm right here," he assured her.

She took a deep breath, nodding, before they sprinted out of cover, keeping low. They sped up as they heard a couple more shots narrowly miss them, not slowing down until they were enveloped within the sea of bodies. Tiberius was very conscious of the way Sarah was gripping his hand, as if holding on for dear life, her fear seeping in through their bond. He responded with calm reassurance, managing to at least take the edge off of her fear.

"They've lost us," she eventually told him, although her body was still stiff with tension.

He nodded before heading back to the skycar, as quickly as they dared. Neither of them relaxed again until they were in the air.

Sarah seemed to slump forward in her seat, gasping a little as she brought her hands to her head.

Tiberius' subharmonics rang with concern as he finished putting the coordinates into the autonav, turning to her the moment he no longer had to concern himself with driving. "Are you okay?"

She nodded. "Yeah, just a headache."

"What happened back there?"

She sighed, sitting back in her seat as she folded her arms protectively across her chest. "I- Normally I can stop myself from- from intruding on the thoughts of others but... it's like walking around with your eyes shut. The instinct is to open them, especially when you're in danger so if I'm stressed, it gets much more difficult to stop myself... and it isn't exactly pleasant..."

"How did you know they were hybrids?"

She shrugged. "I just did. It feels more... familiar. Easy. Some people are difficult to read, even if I'm trying; like swimming upstream, but others are a little _too_ easy..."

Tiberius wasn't sure how to respond. She never liked to speak of her strange ability, mostly opting for pretending that it didn't exist, but, on occasion, he had still found her reading up on the fabled abilities of the Blood Born, silently cursing the krogan for their lack of scientific records.

She simply gave him an understanding smile before leaning over to press her brow plates to his. "I don't need you to say anything, ani. It's more than enough that you're understanding of all my... eccentricities..."

"I _like_ your eccentricities."

She smiled briefly before letting it fade into a confused frown. "We could have done this any day. Why today?"

He mirrored her confused expression. "I don't know. It was as good as any other, I suppose. Was there a reason why we shouldn't have gone today?"

She shrugged. "Not really. I just don't imagine it's how you fancied spending your birthday."

His frown deepened for a moment before his eyes became wide with surprise. He had purposefully been avoiding any markers of time. They were nothing more than reminders that it was swiftly running out. "Huh... I hadn't even realised. Not that it matters. Turians don't really celebrate birthdays like humans do."

"The ones in my family do," she said simply as she brought a small box out of her handbag, "so, I got you something." She passed it to him, watching him carefully as he opened it. As soon as he could see the strange little box inside, she immediately started babbling. "It's... You probably think it's stupid, or silly, or... I understand if you don't like it, I just-"

"Blue!" he cut her off, mid-ramble, a little worried that she was forgetting to breathe, "I'm sure I'll love it, but what is it?"

"Oh. Well, it's, erm... here." She reached over, taking his hand in hers so that she could guide it to the lid of the box. It lit up at his touch before opening, revealing a holo-image of the two of them, taken just before her symptoms had become visible.

They looked happy.

She gave him a sheepish look as it began to play a tune that he didn't recognise. "I just... I didn't want... I wanted you to have something to... just..." He reached over, silencing her once more as he managed to pull her into his embrace, despite their awkward positions. "I also got you a new scope for your rifle. In case you didn't like it," she murmured into his collar, drawing a soft chuckle from him.

"It's perfect, Blue. But I don't need anything except you by my side."

"The one thing I might not be able to give you," she told him, pulling away.

He responded by cupping her cheek in his palm. "Hey, you'll be fine. I know it."

Her subharmonics trilled with a little disbelief. "How can you believe that when you know better than most that the universe doesn't work that way? Life isn't always fair." There was no malice or bitterness behind her words; she was just honestly curious.

He sighed, thinking for a moment before answering. "Maybe because I have to... or maybe it's just because we can't _both_ be pessimists."

"I'm not a pessimist," she objected, "I'm a realist."

"Funny," he replied, smirking, "I would say the same thing."

"So we're both just a couple of realists with different perspectives?"

"Exactly. You put all of your faith in people, but you don't believe that the universe is anything more than blind chaos."

"And you believe that all people are inherently evil, but the universe works it all out in the end." She smirked, shaking her head a little, pausing before speaking once more. "Thank you again. For helping me with this, ani."

"Honestly? I enjoyed it."

She gave him a curious look at that, before figuring what he meant. "You've missed the action, haven't you?"

He shrugged. "You don't get to be one of C-Sec's top agents at the age of twenty three without enjoying the fight, at least to some degree. Plus... bullets are the one thing I am _confident_ in my ability to protect you from."

She lowered her gaze a little. "I'm sorry. I, at least, can work towards my own cure. If I feel helpless, then I can't imagine how you feel... At least, not without poking about in your brain."

"Just give me a straight-up fight against Cerberus any day."

She smiled at that, before deciding to change the subject. "Twenty three..." she mused, "does it ever seem like older to you?"

He laughed a little at that. "All the time."

"Me too."

"You're still twenty two," he pointed out. "Although, you're also a doctor."

She shrugged. "There have been younger doctors. Plus, having an area of expertise that you have been obsessively studying from the age of five, that no one else will touch with a ten-foot barge pole, helps. Also, having the Shadow Broker as your babysitter growing up doesn't hurt."

"You're not even joking, are you?"

"Not even a little bit," she replied, grinning, before she sighed once more, running her hand through her hair as she freed it from the funny looking hat. "Sometimes it feels like older, but sometimes... sometimes it feels like we're little kids with a box of matches..."

"It's not so bad if that little kid is the only one who understands how fire works," he reasoned.

"Maybe they're a pyrokinetic," she reasoned, completely throwing the metaphor off.

"Wait, _what_?" he asked, more than a little confused.

"You know, someone who can control fire with their mind. Like the Human Torch or Pyro. No, wait, if we're talking about me, it would totally be like Liz Sherman!"

"You've lost me..."

"Come on, we watched Hellboy last week!"

"Oh, _that_ Liz Sherman. But wouldn't that make me the angry red guy?"

"Hah, _yes_. I think we've found our comic book doubles. Although, I don't think they were ever together in the comics, so it's more like our comic-book-based-movie doubles."

"Is there not some mad scientist character? Because that would be you. Or, that other guy... Professor X. I thought we agreed that you were Professor X, because of your telepathy."

"_No_, we agreed that I was Jean Grey. But neither of them get a happy ending..."

He began to grin as he remembered how those two films had gone. "Okay, Hellboy it is. I think I can definitely get behind that ending."

"Yeah... Me too," she replied, as they both momentarily forgot their troubles.

* * *

Sarah and Tiberius returned back to the facility without incident, although Sarah couldn't help but wonder when she would next see sunlight without bulletproof glass in her way.

_Maybe never._

She wasn't overly attached to sunlight or the outdoors, having grown up on a ship her whole life, but the thought was still mildly disconcerting.

She was pulled from her dark thoughts, however, by the surprising sight of her two best friends, besides Red, having returned from their extended leave.

"When did you two get back?" she asked.

"About an hour ago," Tia informed her, "although I'm much more concerned with where you two have been..."

"I had some business to attend to," Sarah told her.

"Aw, is that all I'm getting?"

"Coming from the woman who snuck off to Vegas to get hitched without telling anyone?" Sarah asked, before realising that was probably something she had no business knowing.

"Wha- how- I was _very_ careful about covering our tracks. How the hell did you find out?"

Sarah simply looked sheepish, shrugging. "It's... a long story. Come on, I've got booze in my office."

* * *

"_Telepathic?!"_

"That's what they tell me."

"Okay, it's not that I doubt the validity of what you're saying but-"

Sarah just rolled her eyes at her friend. "Oh, come on. You're an asari, how do _you_ doubt this?"

"I'm not saying that I doubt it, just that it's a little... unheard of."

"The krogan have heard of it."

"Right. And, as you're quick to point out, they have very little scientific data on it. It's all just legends."

"Well, _yeah_, they're krogan. Look, I'm not about to start performing cheap party tricks, if that's what you're waiting for."

"I wouldn't dream of it," Tia assured her.

Sarah sighed, before shaking her head a little. "Regardless of whether or not you believe me, it means that I often know things I shouldn't."

Tia paused, clearly disquieted. "Like?"

"Well, like the fact that you and Philip eloped - congrats, by the way - and, also, well... I don't know any details, just that you carry the pain of losing your parents, twice over."

Tia sighed, her gaze fixed on her drink. "I guess you want the full story, huh?"

"Not if you don't want to tell me."

Tia took a deep breath, shaking her head. "No, you might as well know the whole story. I have a feeling it will come up, at least partially, later, and it's probably better that you hear it from me, in its entirety." Sarah didn't respond, simply waiting for her friend to continue. "You have to understand that part of the reason why I don't tell this tale is because it begins hundreds of years ago, before humans were even known to exist."

"Message recieved; you're really fucking old," Sarah joked, in an attempt to lighten the mood.

That earned her a small smile, accompanied by a roll of the eyes, from the asari. "Do you want to hear the story or not."

"Sorry..."

"Okay, so my father died when I was very young; not even twenty. I don't even really remember him, but that's fairly normal for asari with salarian fathers. What was less usual was that my mother died a few years later. My nephew raised me after that. I was so young... I knew him as 'Dad', because I couldn't really remember much else. But, again, he was a salarian, so he died when I was forty two, and then there was no one left to look after me..."

"That's really young for an asari, isn't it?"

She nodded. "I was barely a teenager by human standards. And I've always been small, so I must have seemed little more than a child. I had never lived on any asari worlds, so I wasn't part of any system of care. I was just sort of... left to it. I just became another orphan out in the Terminus."

"The Terminus Systems?"

"Dad had a job out there as an engineer," Tia explained.

"So, what did you do?"

"Whatever I had to," the asari replied, quickly and sharply, "I was on my own against slavers and thugs. It was either learn how to handle a weapon, or die."

"Tia, I'm not judging," Sarah told her hurriedly, "quite frankly, I have no room to. I- I was ten years old when I first shot someone."

Tia frowned at that. "I didn't know that..."

Sarah shrugged. "We only got boarded twice when I was growing up. I barely remember the first time; I was so young and my dad was there with me, so I never felt afraid. But the second time... We were caught off guard with barely a skeleton crew. Hillary and I locked ourselves in our room, but they got through anyway."

"And you killed them?"

Sarah nodded. "I had a pistol and I knew how to use it."

"And your parents still kept you on the ship after that?"

Sarah shook her head. "No, of course not. My mum got really upset and decided that the ship was no longer a safe place for me, but not many places were. Plus, she and Dad were still in the Council's employ, since it was the only way they could get the specialist medical equipment they needed to treat me. I was ferried around for awhile, I even lived with my grandfather on Palaven for almost six months but, eventually, I ended up on Tuchanka. I was there for almost a year before I came into my biotics. At that point I needed real instruction, and the best two teachers were on the Normandy, so Mum finally decided that I was old enough to come back on board."

"Did you miss your parents? When they were away?"

Sarah nodded. "Of course. But, they still lived with me, wherever I was, between missions. Hell, it was probably the most settled portion of my childhood." She smiled a little, but it faded as her expression became more pensive. "But... I don't think I could have taken the shot had it just been me. I did it to protect my younger sister, but for any other reason..."

Tia simply shook her head. "Self preservation is a strong instinct. It's easier than you think to kill in self defense... But I was lucky and I had enough skill to stick around. I quickly realised that people underestimated me and managed to work it to my advantage. But once you get good at something, someone better almost always begins to take note."

"So someone tried to kill you?"

"No. They recruited me. I... have to admit, working as a mercenary was never something I had dreamt of growing up but... I was surprisingly good at it. I knew just how to play people to get my way and I had a knack for strategy. It didn't matter that my biotics barely registered, or that I would never be the best shot. I didn't need to fight, so long as I could talk my enemies out of it, or talk my friends into fighting for me. This carried on for years, decades even, and I rose the ranks. Although, not too high. I was, after all, still a maidan."

"So, what happened?" Sarah asked, entirely enthralled by her friend's tale.

Tia sighed, shrugging. "The Reapers came. All of the merc groups united under Aria T'Loak and I found myself organising strategy on a much larger scale, working with those I had once avoided like the plague. Hell, I was even working with a _Justicar_! That was actually towards the end of the war. She... She was impressed by my talents and suggested that... well, that I might have a place elsewhere once everything was said and done."

"So, is that what happened? Did you leave the mercenary life behind after the war?"

Tia shook her head. "Not exactly... I'll admit, I was tempted but... There was very little of our leadership left and Aria pretty much abandoned us for her obsession with retaking Omega. Everything had broken down and just getting _food_ became a nightmare for us. So, I took charge and did what I had to to feed my people. Of course, 'what I had to' meant doing things that attracted the attention of... certain people. Certain Spectres to be exact. Accompanied by the very Justicar who had given me a way out of that life, that I had so foolishly turned down. After they had cut through over two thirds of my men, I was almost certain that I was going to die. But Commander Shepard just looked at me and declared that I was just a kid, and she refused to kill me. I was pissed at that; that she thought me so far beneath her that she wouldn't even deign to kill me, after I had single-handedly held together a band of cutthroats and thugs. Of course, the Justicar with her simply reminded me that it wasn't often that someone gets a _third_ chance, so I had better not waste it."

Sarah shook her head at that. "Is there anyone in the galaxy my mother _hasn't_ met?"

"I doubt it. She tends to get around."

"So, what? Did she send you to Aunt Sol for punishment?"

Tia shrugged. "Pretty much. They needed skilled C-Sec officers and they were getting pretty desperate. I worked there for years before getting leave to go to Thessia and get my degree. I came back to work around the time Philip and Tiberius joined the Academy."

Sarah frowned. "Wait, so why were you hanging around with a bunch of rookies?"

"Well, I'm still not that old by asari standards. Plus... even working at C-Sec, I was always cut off from everyone else by my past. It was my choice, I realise that now, but... That day, when I first met Philip, I remember being struck by the fact that - despite his bravado and really terrible jokes - he has a good heart. You don't know how rare that's been in my life... to meet genuinely _good_ people."

"Craddle-robber," Sarah joked. "But... I'm glad you two ended up together. You're good for each other."

"As are you and Smiley. You three... you three are the closest thing I've had to a family in well over a century."

"To family," Sarah declared raising her glass, "even our little, make-shift one."

"_Especially_ our little make-shift one..."


	24. Chapter Twenty Four - As The Curtain Fal

**AN: Yeah... I was meant to upload this days ago but I forgot. Sorry!**

**Thanks again to everyone who reads, especially those who follow/fav and super awesome thanks to everyone who reviews. You guys are awesome!**

**Super ****special** thanks to Spyke1985 for betaing for me!

**Okay, hope you guys enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty Four - As The Curtain Falls**

Tiberius had never been used to good things happening to him. It wasn't that his life was any kind of terrible hell, but he had learned over years of experience that nothing came without a price.

_You find a great opportunity and manage to find a job that you actually like, and your mother dies in an incident that might have been prevented, had you only been home._

_You find a perfect woman who gets you like no one else, and she's dying a slow and painful death._

_You finally find the base you've been hunting for, for almost a year, and…_

_Almost a year._

Ten months. That's how long it had been since he had been reunited with his love, the woman he was pretty sure he couldn't live without and-

_No_, he couldn't think like that. It was bad enough feeling Sarah's stress levels rise as time ran out on them. He needed to remain optimistic, for both of their sakes, despite how difficult and futile it felt.

The datapad in his hands seemed to grow unnaturally heavy with his thoughts. It had taken months, but Cerberus had finally slipped up. They could finally make their move. And, of course, Sarah would insist on accompanying them. And, if she hadn't been cured - which seemed more and more likely with each passing day – he knew that her first response would be to offer herself up as bait, something he still was far from comfortable with, despite knowing how much pain she would be in just two months from now.

He pushed away those thoughts as he arrived back at Sarah's office - which, he supposed, had long ago stopped being an office, instead becoming a weird, makeshift apartment, complete with a really tiny, shitty bed, and various cooking instruments, like a microwave, kept on top of filing cabinets and in desk drawers - they wouldn't make a move on Cerberus until Sarah finished the cure for the other hybrids, so there was no point in worrying about it now, he reminded himself.

He entered the room, only to find Sarah lost in thought, her distant gaze fixed on the terminal screen in front of her.

"Hey, you okay?" he asked, pulling her from her reverie.

"Yeah," she replied quickly. He didn't need a window into her head to know that she was lying.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

She gave him a blank look before cracking a smile that, despite the fact that it did little to erase the tired look of her features, warmed his heart. Smiles had been all too rare lately. "Where did you pick up _that_ phrase?"

He shrugged. "Must have been one of the others."

"Do you even know what a penny _is_?"

"No. Not exactly," he admitted, "but you're avoiding the question."

She sighed, leaning back in her chair. "I was just… thinking about my family…" The phrase was so weighted, but she didn't elaborate as her eyes took on the distant look once more, giving a small smile as she lost herself in her memories. "I was actually thinking about my granddad."

"Turian or human?"

"Turian. You know, he used to spoil me rotten. It would drive my mum up the wall. But, of course, she preferred it to the alternative. He'd never exactly been impressed with my father for bonding to a human - a _Spectre_, at that. I guess she was worried that he would think I was some kind of… abomination. Of course, she was more than a little surprised when he ended up doting on me. My dad figured that it was his way of dealing with the loss of my grandma. He just found something else to live for… It just made me think…" She trailed off, shaking her head. "Never mind." Her face instantly fell once more as her gaze returned to the terminal in front of her. "Sorry, my mind has been wandering ever since, well…" She spun the terminal to face him. He didn't understand most of what was on the screen, but he didn't need to. It quickly became clear that she had been running a simulation. The important point was flashing at him from the bottom of the screen.

**Simulation Complete. 100% Cure Success Rate.**

_The Spirits were laughing at him,_ he concluded as he looked down at the datapad in his own hand. Now it was simply a matter of planning. A matter of weeks before she-

_There is still hope,_ he told himself, but the words felt feeble in his mind. He was going to lose her, that he was almost sure of, and it broke his heart; shattered it into a million tiny fragments that he was sure he'd never be able to fix.

"You will," she told him earnestly, addressing his unspoken thoughts, although her voice cracked as she did so. "You have to. I… I have to know that you'll be okay when I'm gone."

"Blue, I know what it's like to not have you here, to believe that you're gone, and I have no desire to relive that experience. A universe without you in it… How can that ever be okay?"

She seemed to shrink a little at his words, as if they scared her.

_God, I never should have gone to C-Sec,_ she thought to herself as she shook her head, as if trying to dispel the unshed tears that were burning her eyes and throat.

"Red, _please_, I just… I need to know that you'll be okay."

He sighed as he regarded her closely. _The woman he loved_. She was still as sickly looking as ever, holding her arms close to her chest in a way that only accentuated how little was left of her, as she desperately tried not to cry. That seemed to be the default for them both in the past few weeks; desperately trying to not buckle under the weight of the knowledge that their time was up.

He could lie to her, he knew that, but she would have simply seen through that. So, he told her the truth, hoping that she had enough left in her to handle it.

"Blue, I doubt that I will ever be _okay_ if I lose you, but… I still have things to do. Scores to settle. I figure I owe Cerberus for every second I spent without you over those three years. It's probably revenge enough to keep me occupied for more than a couple of years."

"And then?" she asked, her voice still small.

He simply shrugged, his gaze dropping. "I don't know. I don't think… I couldn't go _back_. Not without you, ani."

Her heart broke a little as he called her 'ani', but she kept on, moving close to him so that she could cup his face in her hands, bringing his gaze back to hers. "Promise me that you'll try to find something else to live for," she pleaded with him, softly, tears finally falling down her hollow cheeks, "_please_."

He responded by wrapping his arms around her waist so that he could hold her a little closer, lowering his forehead to hers as she dropped her hands down to his shoulders. "I don't know that I can promise that," he admitted, refusing to lie to her.

"Just… Just _try_, please, that's all I ask," she somehow managed to choke out.

"Alright. I promise I'll try."

_That_ finally brought a smile to her face, but it was quickly followed by a sob as how little time they had to spend together dawned on her once more, breaking her completely as he pulled her close to him, his talons running gently through her hair as his subharmonics made soothing noises, bringing her _some_ reassurance as she cried into his carapace.

She'd never been afraid of dying before. Death had been a familiar companion in her youth; the one constant that would never change. It took her years to even realise that it was different for other people, that death wasn't such a constant presence for them as it was for her, at least, not at her age. She had always known that she would die young; it was just an accepted fact. In fact, finding out that she actually had years in front of her, _decades_ even, it had been the strangest thing, completely messing with her perspective.

Of course, she'd found other ways to brush with death.

Not that she'd had a death wish, but she had thought her survival instinct long since eroded by years of staring down Death, and simply waiting for the day he got sick of waiting for her.

Tiberius had proven her wrong, as was his infuriating habit, but now… She _couldn't_ die. Not when she knew what it would do to him.

_Death has a funny sense of humour_, she figured, _just waiting until I had something I can't live without…_

She had tried to ask Nat about how she was progressing with the cure, but she simply kept on shushing her, especially over the past week, telling her that she was distracting her. It was clear to Sarah just how frantic her friend was getting as time ran out. It was simply confirming for Sarah that time _would _run out.

She figured that she would have to start figuring out how to contact Cerberus. How to offer herself up as bait, to actually manage to get the cure to the other hybrids…

Tiberius seemed to respond to her thoughts, pulling away a little to draw attention to the datapad in his hand.

"We found them," he told her simply.

The flow of tears finally seemed to halt as she simply nodded resolutely.

_So, this was how she would go out?_ She asked herself as she reviewed the data in front of her.

She could think of worse ways to go.

* * *

Sarah had barely slept an hour when she was up again. She hadn't slept properly in months, but this was possibly the record for how little time she had managed to spend unconscious. She figured that maybe her subconscious wanted to spend as much time awake as it could, making the most of every moment she had left, but she knew that it was probably just that she was stressed.

Which lying awake in the middle of the night was not helping.

She thought about getting up and doing something to occupy her mind but, as if he sensed that she was thinking of leaving, as soon as she considered it, Tiberius responded by tightening his arm around her, making her smile. She shifted so that she was facing him, her smile widening a little as she saw how peaceful he was when he slept. She had noticed how haggard he had seemed over the past few weeks, but it was particularly noticeable now that it was gone. He had _always_ had a weight on him, ever since she had met him, and it broke her heart that being with her had only made it worse, but she wished that she could see him without the pain she had caused him weighing down on him, just one last time.

She knew that she had to extract herself at that point. She couldn't let her fucking pathetic self-pity seep through their bond and disturb his sleep. It took some creative maneuvering, but she managed to get out of his embrace, feeling a little disappointment at the lack of his familiar presence, but knowing that she wouldn't be able to sleep until she did something productive.

She smiled once more as she took one last glance of his sleeping form as she left the room, although it had a bittersweet edge to it. She hated herself for what was going to happen in the next couple of months. She had always hated just how much she had screwed up Red's life, just by being near him, but she couldn't deny that the knowledge that he would continue the fight against Cerberus without her made her feel better about... leaving. She knew that her death wouldn't be the end of the story, that the others would continue without her, and that knowledge gave her a sense of peace that she desperately needed as she approached the end. She knew that between her friends, her parents, and the rest of her family, Cerberus was in trouble, and the other hybrids would be taken care of.

Of course, she was halfway to the lab when she remembered that she had nothing productive left _to_ do. She knew that the best use of her time would be to start helping Nat with her own cure, but she had no idea where Nat even was with it. So, she couldn't really do any work on that, but by the time she had figured that out, she was already at the lab, only to find that someone was already in there.

"Nat?" she asked, her voice still sleepy as she suddenly became very aware that she was still in her pyjamas.

"Hmm?" was the only answer she received as she entered the room, finding Nat with her gaze fixed entirely on the terminal in front of her.

"Nat, it's the middle of the night," she pointed out, immediately feeling guilty for putting her friend in this position. It would have been much easier if it had been a stranger with the knowledge Nat had of hybrid biology. Sarah knew that it would have been easier for Nat if they weren't so close.

"Shh!" Nat held her hand up, her gaze not leaving the screen in front of her. "I am very busy."

Sarah shifted awkwardly at that, but didn't leave. "I... I finished the cure for the other hybrids. I ran a dozen different simulations this afternoon and... well, it works. But now I have nothing to do, and I can't sleep, so I figured you might need a hand-"

"Sarah! Shh!" Nat told her, holding up her hand once more in a silencing motion.

Sarah frowned at the action, but remained silent, sitting down on one of the desk chairs, waiting until Nat had the time to tell her just _where_ exactly she was with her project. Although, if her frantic nature was anything to go by, it wasn't far enough.

Sarah refused to let her observation bother her, since she had no concrete evidence, as she attempted to wait patiently. She tried a few times to speak to Nat, only to find herself shushed once again. It was almost dawn before her friend made any noise other than 'shush'.

"_Ura!_" she yelled, prompting Sarah's head to shoot up.

"What, what is it?" she asked blearily. She _really_ hadn't had enough sleep.

"_This_." Nat moved over to the area where she had been working.

Sarah sighed at the screen. She loved Nat, but she was the worst for not using HC in the lab - even though it was standard practice across all human colonies - and Sarah's Russian wasn't that good. "What is it?" she asked.

"Just..." Nat grabbed her forearm, ignoring the fact that Sarah had been bruising easily over the past few weeks, and sat her down on the examination table, grabbing a vial from where she had been working.

"Nat, what are you doing?" Sarah asked, more than a little confused.

"You see this?" she asked, holding the vial up so that Sarah could see it. "_This_, my friend, is your future."

"Wait, _what_?!"

"The main problem I had was that your system couldn't take so many changes at once-"

"Yeah, I had the same problem-"

"-_but_ then I had an idea yesterday and it worked _so_ perfectly. I have been up all night checking and rechecking simulations, and it _works_!"

Sarah just stared at her blankly, her mind unable to truly comprehend what she was being told. "So, you..."

"Have a cure, right here. _All_ of your defective gene sequences will be replaced. Zu, you're going to be fine. You'll be just like any normal, perfect hybrid."

Sarah had no response to that. She had done it, she had resigned herself to death, she had tied up all of the loose ends, there were papers signed that said that she didn't want any further medical care other than to relieve pain and...

And it was all unnecessary.

_She was going to live_.

Not only that, but she would never have to leave Red's side again. She _wasn't_ going to do that to him.

She was pulled from her daze by a sharp pain as Nat injected her with the contents of the vial. "You need it three times a day for the next week, but the virus _should_ rewrite all of the genes in your body, even those in your bone marrow. This should be a permanent solution, but it might take a couple of tries to take properly." Sarah simply nodded, still dazed. "Zu, are you okay?"

Sarah responded by pulling Nat into a bone-crushing hug. "Thank you," she told her, her voice choked with emotion. "Thankyouthankyouthankyou!"

Nat simply laughed, shaking her head a little. "It was my pleasure."

Sarah just grinned as she practically _skipped_ towards the door. "I've gotta tell Red!"

"That you do."

* * *

Sarah was still skipping as she entered her office, bounding up to the bed where her love still slept, jumping excitedly like a child on Christmas morn.

"Red! Red! Red!" she yelled excitedly, climbing up so that she was kneeling next to him.

He groaned as he turned over to face her, giving her the most confused expression she had ever seen as he tried to sit up. She barely let him get propped up on his elbows before she had moved so that she was straddling him, her lips eagerly seeking his.

He was frowning a little as she eventually pulled away, remembering that it was important to actually breathe. "This is the most confusing wake up _ever_," he told her, his voice still husky with sleep in the most delicious way, "I mean, at first I thought there was a fire, and now you're kissing me, and I'm pretty sure I'm still asleep..."

"If we're still asleep, then I never want to wake up," she told him, not managing to hold back a grin, "because Nat did it, Red. I'm going to be fine."

His mandibles widened in shock before as he remained still for several moments, processing the information. She was about to ask if he was okay when he suddenly moved, flipping her back so that she was lying on the bed, looking up at him as his eyes seemed to dart about her features, as if taking them in for the first time all over again.

She decided that she was too impatient to wait for him to get over the shock, her lips hungrily seeking his once more, although this time she merely brushed his plates with her lips before slowly pressing them together more firmly, careful to keep the kiss deep and slow, purposefully drawing attention to the lack of frantic edge that had been present in all of their romantic interactions over the past few months, as if they had been trying to convey their desperation with their bodies.

No, today they had all of the time in the world. There was no frantic rush to memorise every inch of the other's body for fear that, in the end, memories were all that would be left. She had the rest of a _very_ long life to spend with this man, and she damn well intended to spend it well.

He seemed to catch on quickly to her intent, his hands moving slowly down her sides, the light touch almost torturous as he reached her waist. She suddenly became more than a little self-conscious as she felt his hands move over her bones, wishing for the curves she had once possessed rather than these harsh angles, cursing past-her for complaining about her ample figure.

He didn't seem to care, however, the pace of his movements remaining constant as she gently brought her hands up to his neck, tenderly trailing up and behind, towards the soft spot just under his fringe, being sure to do nothing more than softly tease as he moaned into her kiss.

She pulled away for breath once more, panting slightly, as she used the opportunity to pull her shirt over her head, discarding it on the floor as she sat up once more, leaving both of her breasts exposed to him. A fact that he was quick to take advantage of as he began slowly nipping down her neck, towards one of her breasts, his tongue softly tracing over the points at which his teeth had made contact with her skin.

His hands, however, were lightly tugging at the waistband of her shorts, shimmying them down her legs as slowly as he could manage, light caresses nearing her inner thighs as he went, almost causing her to squirm a little with impatience. It wasn't long, however, before he threw the shorts across the room to join her shirt, his hands trailing back up the inside of her legs, softly caressing the back of her knees, followed by her inner thighs as he moved upwards as slowly as possible, his touch circling back down occasionally, causing her to groan a little with frustration.

She responded by moving one hand back down from the sensitive spot she had been carefully working, using the fact that that her fingers were slimmer than their turian counterparts, allowing them to slip between his plates, slowly teasing the sensitive skin, earning her a growling tone in his subharmonics as his hands lost their rhythm for a moment.

He decided to repay her by moving his hand all the way up to the junction of her legs, his fingers carefully slipping between her lips, earning a pleasure filled gasp from her. She shifted at his touch, pulling down the blanket that, somehow, still covered his hips, finally revealing that his plates had long since shifted, his member fully erect beneath her, making her wonder if he had woken up hard.

He quickly brought her attention back to him as he began to circle her clit, prompting her to angle her hips so that his tip was at her entrance, silently begging him to enter her. He did so as slowly as he could manage, pausing once he was completely enveloped by her, before pulling away slightly, setting a languorous pace, thoroughly enjoying every whimper and moan he pulled from her lips, especially the slight growl her subharmonics took as she approached her climax.

She moved her hands to his mandibles, cupping his face, as she felt herself getting closer, allowing her to pressed her browplates to his. "I love you, ani," she told him softly as her ice blue eyes bored into his piercing green ones, with all of the promise of tomorrow, something both of them had been lacking for so long.

That was all it took to push him over the edge, spilling into her as she brought her own fingers to down to continue teasing her clit as his faltered, bringing her own climax mere moments later, her inner muscles milking the aftershocks out of him.

"I love you, too," he whispered into her ear, as she rested across his torso, trying not to focus on how light she still felt against him.

_She's going to get better._ He had honestly believed that he would never see her healthy again, and just the thought of her no longer looking so ashen brought a grin to his features as he admired her once more, tucking a few loose strands of hair behind her ear.

_His_. She had always been his, but this was the first time, in the many years he had thought that way, that the idea no longer scared him. She was his and he was hers, and it was now completely within their power to make sure it stayed that way.

He was brought from his thoughts by the sound of her giggling, a sound he was pretty sure he'd heard... _never_.

"What's so funny?" he asked, grinning back at her as she kept on laughing.

"I just... I'm _going to be alright_!"

"I told you so," he joked, prompting another round of laughter from her.

"You did. You really did. But, I mean, I never..."

"What?" he asked, frowning a little as she tried to search for the words to describe how she felt.

"I've never been... _okay_ before. I just... I've been planning as if I had so little time left, and now that I have so much... What do people _do_ with their time?"

He shrugged. "Anything they want."

She grinned at him once more, lowering her browplates to his once more as she looked at him through her eyelashes in a way he was damn sure should be illegal. "Like living with you on some faraway colony?"

"Just like that."

She sighed a little, the edge of her smile fading just a bit. "I guess we still have to actually _stop_ Cerberus from trying to kill me."

"_That_ I can deal with. It's my specialty," he told her, but her smile refused to return to its full strength.

"And then I guess we have to convince the Council to not murder all the hybrids, which I'm not entirely confident won't include me..."

"I won't let them lay a hand on you," he promised, before sighing himself, "but how about we take a moment to enjoy victory _before_ we start worrying about the road ahead, okay?"

Her smile finally widened once more at that. "Yeah, okay, you're right. I'm sorry, I just can't help it. I'm not used to things going right... it feels off."

"Yeah... it kind of does, doesn't it?" he agreed, laughing himself at just how terrible they both were for not being able to accept the good in their lives.

Their attention was pulled across the room by the sound of her terminal beeping.

"Shit, it's the Emergency Channel," Sarah told him, her smile dropping completely as she scrambled about, trying to pick up her clothes so that she looked halfway presentable.

There were only a handful of people with access to that comm line, and Sarah couldn't think of a good situation that could arise from one of them calling.

She opened the channel as soon as she was halfway decent, only to see that the person who had called her was Cee. "Hey, Cee, you okay?"

"Yeah," her friend replied quickly. "I mean, I think so. Mostly. I mean, it's awesome, but I'm also freaking out, _just a little_."

"_Cee!_" Sarah interrupted her friend. "What are you calling about?"

"Oh! I'm pregnant!"

Sarah's eyes widened at that. She had really lost track of time these past few months, she figured as she realised that Cee would have gone into heat in the past few months. "Congratulations!"

"Yeah, but, erm, well... I kind of need a doctor who knows the first thing about hybrids. I mean, _my_ doctor thought that I was crazy until she triple checked the tests."

"Yeah, the Council are still being tight-lipped about the whole thing," Sarah figured.

"So, how long until you can be here?"

Sarah took a moment to think it over. It would require them dealing with the nearby Cerberus forces, but that would be done in the next month. The problem would be that Sarah wouldn't be safe until they had put a stop to Cerberus once and for all, and there was no way she was dragging Cee's family into that mess.

"What about Nat?" Red asked her from the other side of the terminal as he followed her train of thought. "She's done with her work here and she knows everything you do."

Sarah nodded in agreement, turning back to the terminal. "Would that be okay, Cee? Things still aren't safe around me."

Her friend nodded. She had never been overly close with Nat, but she was on the 'friend' side of acquaintance, and if Sarah trusted her, then so did she. "Nat will be fine. I just need someone who knows what they're talking about."

"I'll brief her on your case and send her right over," Sarah assured her friend as the channel closed, before turning to her bondmate. "Please don't let me wake up..."

"Never," he assured her, pushing away the thoughts of upcoming battles, both physical and political. Right now, the woman he loved was safe, and that was, really, all he cared about.


End file.
